


Maybe we are a fairytale?

by Intoxic



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Is Sick, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Drama, First Love, Hospital, Leukemia, M/M, Magnus is hurting, crazy exes of magnus, magnus mom is alive, robert and maryse are good parents, teenage love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-30
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-10-12 22:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 93,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10501143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Intoxic/pseuds/Intoxic
Summary: Rewritten version of MWAAF. Alec Lightwood is your typical, ideal eighteen year old, A-straight highschool boy. But there's a deep scratch on his perfect life, known better as a cancer. He accepted this fate in his life, and kept it under control, until his long-time crush was designed to his tutor group. From this day, Alec's and Magnus's lives began to change.





	1. Prologue

**_O_ ** _nce upon a time_ **_,_ ** _in a far, far land full of high towers, surrounded by the wild waters, lived a boy. He was the fairest of them all. Tall, lean, with his incredible gold-green cat-like eyes. He caught the attention of everyone in his kingdom, causing many heartbreaks for young maidens. He knew he was desired by everyone, yet, he held his heart in a tight grip, waiting to give it away to his destined one, to his other half, his knight in shining armor who would show up to save him from his own fears._

 **_O_ ** _ne day, the boy met another boy his age, tall as well, and equally handsome, with the most beautiful blue eyes. The young man could drown into the ocean of his destined eyes. The said boy defended him in front of villains, even though one of the villains was the friend of the knight. From that day, the boy had taken an interest in the other boy. His own knight in shining, yet black, armour._

 **_F_ ** _inally, Destiny seemed to have mercy over the boy and let him explore the relation with the knight. Although, at some point the boy thought the other a wizard as well, since he seemed to enchant him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the knight, he wanted him for himself. He wanted to be close with him._

 **_A_ ** _nd one day, his dream came true. The boy learned what enchantment the knight had put over him._

**_It was true love._ **

**_T_ ** _he most beautiful thing the boy hoped to have one day._

 **_I_ ** _t was finally here._

_………………………………………………………………………………………._

**_B_** _ut Fate didn’t let him enjoy it for a long time._


	2. Welcome to my life

**Chapter I**

**“Welcome to my life”**

My name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood, but I wish to be called Alec. I’m an eighteen year old boy with black hair and blue eyes. A strange combination, yet I’ve been told that I look good like this. I’m an average boy, like many others in my school. I’m going to St. Raziel’s High School. And, no, it’s not a Catholic school. It’s a normal high school, where I’m one of the seniors.

I’m the oldest  out of all of my siblings. I have a sister, Isabelle. She’s only two years younger than me. Though many people confuse us as twins. We look exactly alike, except for the eyes. Mine are blue and Izzy’s are chocolate brown. My sister is one of the most beautiful girls around the school. At least that’s what some boys are saying in the hallways. She’s a cheerleader, the queen-bee of our school. I love her. She’s not just my sister, she’s also my best friend. We tell each other everything.

Besides Izzy, I also have two brothers. Jonathan, well, Jace. That is the nickname my mother gave him, when he came to stay with us at the age of ten. Jace is adopted, but sometimes, despite his golden looks, you could easily take him for a real Lightwood. He has blonde hair and golden eyes that makes the girls at our school giggle like crazy. Jace is dating our biggest school artist, Clarissa Morgenstern, also known as Clary Fray. She hates using her father’s name. She sticks with her mom’s name. Jace is one of the most handsome guys in our school, all girls fall for him. Well, no wonder, he has the angelic looks.

Finally, my youngest brother, Max. He’s only nine and he’s not in our school. He’s a thinner copy of myself with big glasses.

I love all of them. They mean everything to me. We always stick together. Always and forever.

I’m a straight-A student. No slips, no fails, no troubles. At least, not for a long time now. I’m helping people in our school a lot. Whoever needs it, I’m here to provide it. Even if I’m not fond of the said person.

My parents are the strict ones. But not towards me. I can actually do everything I want, of course, after informing them. It wasn’t always like that. I used to have restrictions as well, like every other teenager on the planet. But all of that changed in one day.

The day I found out that I have LLA,  _ lymphadenosis leucaemica acuta _ . Leukemia. The sentence for my whole life, like they say.

The day I found out about my illness was a normal day at school. I was working on the set of our school play. I was helping with scenography to be precise. I was feeling a bit warm all day, but I didn’t give a damn over it at that time. We were running out of time. The play was to be up in two days, and the set wasn’t complete. We worked non-stop. And, indeed, I might have forgotten to eat then, as well as drink a lot. There was no surprise that suddenly I felt light-headed and the darkness consumed me.

When I woke up, I found myself in the hospital. Mom and dad were already here, talking to the doctor. Once they came inside, they announced that I have to stay here for a few days, so that they could do some more tests. Immediately, I said no. I wanted to go home. I felt fine. But they made me stay. Mom stayed with me.

Two days later the doctor had all the results. He asked my mom to follow him to his cabinet, to talk in private, but I demanded to know too. After all, it concerned me. I still remember those sad looks they were giving me, when the doctor said what ails me.

Leukemia. Cancer.

I couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true. This couldn’t be happening to me. I was a healthy, normal boy. Yet, the results were clear.

Leukemia.

When it sunk into my mind, I was so mad. The rage consumed me. I broke a chair in the doctor’s office. Once I was in my right mind again, I apologized for it.

It’s been two years since that day. I have had eight chemotherapies. I began to feel better. The doctor says that I’m in remission. And that’s really great. During that time, I met a bunch of wonderful people. Some of them, unfortunately, didn’t make it, but we remember them every day. I have a therapy group, it’s not some professional group or something. It’s just a group of kids, young adults who were or are struggling with chronic illnesses as well. We’re meeting every Saturday at the local church. Before you ask, I’m not a very Catholic guy. But the church is a pretty amazing place to meet.

I actually live in the shadow of my younger siblings. But that’s okay. I like it that way. I hate being in the spotlight. I’ve never done something as brave or dangerous as they do each day. Sure, once I punched the local-school bully, Woolsey Scott, straight in his nose. I wouldn’t have done it, if he hadn’t picked on me and my friend, Simon. He should have known better than to push Simon, who lost his glasses, to the hard floor. From that moment, everything went so fast. Woolsey punched me in the jaw, I striked back. Soon, Mrs. Herondale, our principal, had to break us apart. My parents were called to the school, of course. I got a Saturday detention, but so did Woolsey. That was it. Even my parents didn’t ground me, like I expected them to. They just lectured me that physical fights could end badly for me, especially now, when I seem to get weaker by my illness.

Yes, my parents aren’t really strict towards me. I’m pretty sure that’s because I have cancer. Maybe that’s the reason they accepted me and my sexual orientation so easily.

I’m gay. I found out when I was fifteen and the most beautiful boy on earth came to our school. His name is Magnus Bane. The boy I’ve been crushing on for three years now. Before Magnus, I had thoughts as to why I don’t like girls like my brother and friends do. But the moment I laid my eyes on Magnus, when he walked into our classroom, my heart skipped a bit, my cheeks became warmer. I couldn’t stop admiring him. I can’t stop admiring him since then.

He doesn’t know about my crush. I could never tell him, nor make it obvious to him. He doesn’t even acknowledge me. We never speak, he never looks my way. I’m just a plain guy for him, like many others in the school. He’s my secret crush. And I hope it stays this way till the end of high school.

My life was fine so far. I have accepted everything that is wrong with me. I have learned to live with it. I thought that nothing would change it. Ever.

But boy, I was so wrong.

That day, on one particular Saturday morning, when I entered the hallways of the school, I  could feel immediately that something was wrong. All signs were laid before my eyes, yet I couldn’t understand them. As always I went to room 209, where our study-sessions were taking place. There were so many people here already. It was unusual.

“Hey Alec!” I heard Aline’s high-voice. I waved back at her and went to her with a questioning look. Her girlfriend, Helen Blackthorn, was standing next to her, glaring at some poor junior, who was ogling Aline. She was a beautiful girl. My eyes stopped at Aline, who spoke again. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Aline. What’s with all the people here? Am I hallucinating, or is the crowd slightly bigger today?” Aline nodded at my question with a grin. “Do we have someone new?”

“Yes,” she responded lightly, squeezing Helen’s hand, when she almost growled at some sophomore girl. “We have one more tutor and two students.”

“Oh. Mrs. Branwell didn’t say anything about them,” Aline was still grinning weirdly. “ Which class is the tutor from?”

“A senior,” Helen added to the conversation, as Aline looked over my shoulder. “He’s actually from your class, Alec.”

“He? Who’s h…” I turned around to see who she’s been looking at. But dear Lord, never in my life had I expected him to be standing so close to me.

Right in front of me, only a meter or so, stood the boy from my dreams. The most beautiful guy in the entire school. Magnus Bane is his whole glittery glory was winking at me and smiling oh so perfectly.

Then I heard his wonderful voice.

“They told me to check in with you.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I stated before, the first chapters will be just improved, the bigger changes will be seen later.
> 
> I'm still looking for someone who'd like to draw scenes for this story. If you're interested PM me or reach me on tumblr or even on twitter. PaulinaK_PL
> 
> Beta: Red Coral. Read her stories on her profile her. She's amazing and very talented.
> 
> Thanks for kudos and all.  
> Comment if you feel like to


	3. The blue eyed Angel

**Chapter II**

**„The blue eyed Angel”**

The day started almost as usual as it always did. I was called to the principal’s office again, but this time I actually knew the reason why. Yet, the idiotic idea of hers was simply too cruel.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?!” I was close to screaming at the elderly woman. She was looking at me with an annoyed expression, which was expected. The harpy never liked me anyway.

“I’m not joking, Mr. Bane,” her voice as stoic and cold as always. “You will be coming here every Saturday for the next month for detention. You’ll be doing everything they ask you to. And you better do your best. Maybe this will teach you a lesson. You are dismissed.”

With a loud grumble I got up from the chair and grabbed my crutches. When I finally got to the door and left the office I found my so-called best friend, Ragnor, waiting outside.

“How did it go?” he asked with an ounce of concern.

“Why do you care?” I snapped, glaring him. “You abandoned me in the Theater room, so do it again and fuck off.”

“Come on, Mags,” Ragnor’s voice was turning into the whiny one, the one he often used to convince me of something. “We didn’t want to leave you.”

As fast as I could with the crutches I started to walk away from him. Of course, he came closer to me within a blink of an eye.

“You didn’t want it, yet, you did it.” I never stopped my stumbling, nor did I look at him. “So, please, do it again and leave me the hell alone.”

“Hey!” he shouted and grabbed my arm too hard. “It’s not my fault that you’re clumsy and fell down the stage. It’s not my fault that you broke your leg. It’s your fault.”

“Fuck you!” I showed him a middle finger to emphasize my words and slowly stumbled away from him, straight to the cafeteria. I spotted my other best friend Tessa, sitting by our usual table along with Camille.

“Hey baby, how did it go?” asked Camille Belcourt. She was…well, I didn’t even know what she was to me now. Certainly she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore. I broke up with her the night she slept with the younger brother of my other friend, Ralph Scott, as well as with some guy, Dmitry, from the student exchange. I’m not a cheater, despite the public opinion, and I don’t like to be cheated on either. That’s why she’s no longer my girlfriend, not that I’m sad about it. I’m better off without her anyway.

I sat down on a chair next to Tessa, who moved the chair for me. I smiled at her in a thanking manner. She’s my best friend, the one I can always count on. Even though we’re like fire and ice, two opposite Poles, we’ve been friends for years now.

“Not good. I have detention for a whole month,” I sighed desperately.  It was a total disaster for me. Not only a broken leg, but stupid detention as well. “Every Saturday. Four hours of doing god-knows-what.” I looked at the brown haired girl with a begging expression. “Please, kill me now, Tess.”

“You’ll live, Maggie.” I growled at her response. I hated being called that way, even by my friends. “You said Saturday, huh?”

“Yeah. The Witch told me to come here at eleven am sharp.” In that moment my voice was sounding beyond pathetic. Full of whining and grumbles. As Tessa giggled at my face, I grabbed her orange juice and took a sip of it.

“Hey! That’s mine! Buy your own!” she smacked my arm not so hard. Yet I felt a bit of a pain.

“I love you too, Tess!” She stuck her tongue out at me. I turned to the blonde girl. “Where is Woolsey and Cate, Camille?”

“Woolsey is hiding from you.” She said quietly, like it was some super-secret. It was no surprise to me that the coward was avoiding me now. He was never good with facing his failures.

“And he has a reason to. Those fuckers left me alone and now I’m screwed by them!”

“You shouldn’t have been there in the first place.” Tessa stated as it was the most obvious thing in the world, giving me one of her meaningful looks.

“It was supposed to be our last joke, Tessa. We’re seniors. We’re about to graduate from this hell.” She wasn’t convinced by my words. “It was supposed to be a thing that people will remember us for.”

“And look how it ended for you.” She pointed at my leg. “You’re stuck with crutches and Saturday’s detention. While Ragnor and Woolsey are in the clear.” She had a point. Tessa leaned closer to me and whispered to my ear. “You should tell Mrs. Herondale about them. Maybe she’ll lessen your detention. Plus, they deserve the punishment as well.”

“I’m not a rat, Tess. They are my friends, even though they’re the reason I’m in this mess in the first place.” She sighed at this, patting my healthy leg.

The bell rang. Camille and Tessa helped me got up from the chair. When we were about to walk out of the cafeteria, I heard the mocking voice of one of my enemies.

“Oh look. It’s true. Our little Magnus is a klutz, who broke a leg while destroying the theater room.”

“Fuck you, Jace!” I growled at him, as I turned around and faced him and his loyal minions. All of them, Jace Lightwood, Jonathan Morgenstern, Sebastian Verlac and Jordan Kyle. I hated them all, but they hated me back. Though I liked the girls from their group. Clary and Isabelle were nice. Same as Alec.

“You wish, Bane!”

They moved towards the other exit of the cafeteria. But Jace was held back by someone. I looked closer and spotted a boy my age, with black hair and the luminous blue eyes. Even though his beautiful eyes were covered by the emo-looking half-long hair, I could easily tell that it was Jace’s older brother, Alexander. I see him every day in my classes. We never talk to each other, since Alec is a very closed-up person and keeps only with Jace and his other nerdy friends like Smeedly, Sheldon…whatever his name is. But sometimes, okay very often, I love looking at Alexander. His beauty is streaking. Those eyes of his are so electrifying. Whenever you look into them, you could feel yourself drowning in. 

“Don’t make fun of him, Jace.” He warned his brother. Jace crossed arms over his chest and looked blankly at Alec. Yet, he listened to him. “I mean it.”

“Yeah, whatever, Alec.” He waved his hand at the older boy, but nodded anyway. With that, he turned on his heel and left the cafeteria, passing by me without any mean words, just with a small glare. It was a bit strange. I never knew that Jace listens to his brother so much.

I turned my eyes on Alec. The boy rolled his eyes and glanced at me. I think he didn’t expect me to be looking at him at that moment. When our eyes met, his cheeks turned into a beautiful shade of red. I was amazed by that. Alec blinked a few times and ran after his brother before I could even think of thanking him.

The rest of Friday’s classes went by fast. During the last one I saw Alec sitting with some blonde girl. I couldn’t remember her name, but I recalled that she tried to flirt with me once or twice. As I looked closer at them, I realized that they were exchanging notes. Adorable. A bit childish but adorable.  There was something about Alec Lightwood. Something drew me towards him, yet I couldn’t tell what it was. His amazing eyes? His nice character? His incredible hot, but a bit emo look? I wasn’t sure. I wanted to find out what it was, yet, I was scared to talk to him. Alec is very private person. There aren’t many people he talks to. Only his siblings and his nerdy friends. Maybe that was the thing that drew me to him. His closed-up persona. There was something intriguing about Alec Lightwood, and I was determined to find out what it was.

“Mr. Bane, what is the answer?” I heard the deep voice of Mr. Starkweather. I snapped out of my thoughts as I felt the piercing gaze of the teacher on me. Everyone was staring at me, some of them were trying to hide their laugh. I tried to look behind Mr. S. to see what was on the blackboard already, but he was standing in my way on purpose. I swallowed hard and decided to do the best thing I could. Improvise.

“Well…the answer…um…the answer…” suddenly Catarina passed some note on our table. I dared to look with one eye at it. “is x equals 5.6?”

“Right,” I breathed in a relief and turned to Cate.

“Thank you, Catie,” I whispered to her.

“You’re welcome,” she followed my gaze as my eyes turned back to Alec. “Why are you staring at Alec?”

“No reason.” Just before the bell rang I finally found the courage to go and thank Alec for what he did today. But I couldn’t get up fast enough and soon I realized that Alec was not there anymore. “Damnit!”

“What’s wrong? Is it your leg?” Cate’s voice was full of concern, so were her brown eyes.

“No. He’s not here anymore!”

“Who?” I looked at her meaningfully. “You mean Alec? What do you want from him? If you want to pick on him, you better not. Jace will kick your ass, like he did with Ragnor and Woolsey last month.”

“No. I don’t want to pick on him. And what was it with Ragnor and Woolsey?”

“You weren’t at school then,” she started to explain, as we slowly exited the classroom. “They picked on Simon and Alec again. Jace was so mad, he almost broke Woolsey’s arm. I’m sure that you remember them walking with black eyes.” I nodded to that. “Yes, that was Jace’s doing, well his and Jonathan’s, since he helped him.”

“How many times do I have to tell them to leave people alone?” Cate just shrugged her arms. “It’s all because of Woolsey. Ragnor wasn’t like that before.”

“That is true, my friend.” She smiled at me genuinely. “Anyway, what did you want from Alec?”

“I wanted to thank him for something he did today.” Catarina looked curious at me, silently demanding details. “Jace was making fun of me in the cafeteria and Alec told him to stop. And Jace listened to him. He hasn’t spoken a mean word to me the whole day.”

“Jace cares about his brother. He’ll do anything that Alec wants. Same for Isabelle, Clary and Simon.” There was some truth in Cate’s words. I saw it too, like Izzy is doing things for Alec and Simon as well. “There’s something going on between them, but I don’t know what.”

Today we were going to my place, to work on a biology project. I was glad about it, well the opportunity to be alone with Catarina. I could ask her more about Alec, since she’s on good terms with Clary Fray and Isabelle Lightwood.

As soon as we were in my bedroom, I started my questioning.

“So, what do you know about Alec?”

“Alec is a nice guy. Don’t mess with him.” she warned me.

“I know he’s nice. Tell me something I don’t know.” Catarina sat down on my bed, taking out her books out of her bag. I did the same, even though the project was the last thing on my mind at this moment. I wanted to learn about Alec not about microelements.

“He’s very smart. I heard that he’s the leader of the tutoring group in our school.” I looked questioningly at her.

“What?”

“The tutor group. You know, they meet on Saturday and teach kids what they can.” I shook my head at this. I’ve never heard about it, so I didn’t actually know whether it’s a real thing or not. Maybe Catarina was just making a joke. Suddenly, there was a wicked grin on her lips. “You said that your detention is on Saturdays?” I nodded to it. “Oh, dear. Prepare. Study tonight, because I have a feeling that you’ll become a new tutor in our school.”

“What?! I can’t! I don’t belong there! I’m not that smart!” My voice may have been a bit too loud at that moment. My mother called me to ask if something happened. “It’s fine, mom!” I closed the door and came back to sit down on the bed. “I can’t, Cat.”

“Magnus…” she raised her eyebrow at me. “Who are you trying to fool? You are smart. Maybe not A-straight like Alec, but you are intelligent.” I offered her a scowl. “Stop it. You’ll do good. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’ll be doing something else.”

Unfortunately, it turned out that Catarina was right. The second I stepped into the school on the lovely Saturday morning, I was literally grabbed by Mrs. Branwell and dragged towards the room 209, where I have never been before.

There were so many people in here already. Even more than at any gathering in our school before, I dared to say. I looked around, trying to spot familiar black hair, but I couldn’t see him. Maybe he wasn’t here? I cursed silently and moved after Mrs. Branwell.

So, Magnus. This is the tutoring room.” She gestured at the whole place.

“It’s really big…so many people in here.”

“Yes.” She agreed. “There are many kids that need help with learning.” We moved further. “And we’re here to provide that help. So,” she turned her eyes on me. “What are you the strongest at?”

“Um…” I started uncomfortably. “I don’t really know, Mrs. Branwell. It’s not like I want to be here. I was forced to do it.”

“You did a bad thing, Magnus. And you were punished for it.” I couldn’t stop myself from rolling my eyes. During that I spotted a black point in the room. I focused at it, immediately, and realized that it’s Alec. A small smile came up on my lips. I looked over Mrs. Branwell’s head to get a better view at Alec. He was talking to some black haired girl, Aline I think. “I know you don’t want to be here.” I heard the teacher’s voice again. “But you may actually like helping people. Many people got here like you, because they did something wrong. And many have stayed after finishing their detention. Like Alec.” She pointed at the boy. “He’s been here for two years already. He comes here every Saturday on his own will. And before you ask, no. He’s not getting any extra credit because of it. He’s doing it out of the goodness of his heart.” I was nodding to her words, still looking at Alec. I could say it was true. Alec was a very good boy. Maybe I’m not friends with him, but I’ve heard things about him. And I have classes with him. He’s the smartest boy in our school. “Maybe you’ll be like him. Anyway. Go to him, he’ll tell you who you’ll be working with today. He’s the leader of the group. Good luck, Magnus.” She added, before she waved me off.

I took a deep breath and moved towards the direction where Alec stood with Aline and some other girl. His back was turned to me. So I couldn’t see his beautiful face. But I was able to look at his body. He was thin, but not unhealthy skinny. He had some arm muscles. Tall, only inch or two shorter than me, which was a plus. I don’t like very short people. His black hair ended almost at his shoulders. It didn’t suit him. Today he wore a black leather jacket and light blue jeans. At least not so macabre like every other day. When I got closer to him, I heard the small talk he was having with girls. I crossed my gaze with Aline and smiled at her.

“He? Who’s h…” he turned around and looked at me shocked. I bet he didn’t expect to see me here. I couldn’t blame him. It was strange to see Magnus Bane in such a place. I smirked at him and then I saw this beautiful thing again. Alec Lightwood blushed adorably.

“They told me to check in with you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you like it?
> 
> As I stated before, the first few chapters are just improved, but the further will be changed more.
> 
> Beta: Amazing and wonderful Red Coral.
> 
> Comment if you feel like to,
> 
> Lots of love and peace for Easter,
> 
> Intoxic


	4. Welcome to our group

**Chapter III**

**„Welcome to our group”**

The air in the room was thick and heavy. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly with Magnus ogling me. This was the first time we have been this close to each other. His eyes couldn’t leave my face, which must have been as red as a tomato by now. Dear Lord, the boy of my dreams was standing right before me. It was incredible and scary at the same time. My heart was beating fast, almost like it would like to rip out of my chest. He smirked at me, winking twice. I didn’t even know that I could feel so hot in my body as I was at that particular moment. There was a small desire in my mind to run like crazy from the room. 

“Alec?” He spoke my name like it was some exotic, foreign, beautiful word. No one else has said it this way before. I prayed silently for him to do it again. “Alec?”

“I’m Aline,” I heard the voice of my friend behind my back. “Welcome to our group.” 

“I know, who you are, Aline,” he responded lightly. Sweet, merciful God. His voice was intoxicating. It was almost like he was purring during talks. Like a kitten. I scolded myself for such thoughts. It wasn’t the time to have them. I couldn’t get excited before him. 

“And this is Helen Blackthorn.” The introducing was moving forward. 

“Nice to meet you, Helen.” He addressed her softly. Have I mentioned that his voice is melodic? For sure, it was. Like music to my ears. 

“Likewise,” Helen muttered, while I was admiring him silently. 

Magnus’s face was perfect in my opinion. He had high-placed cheekbones. Sharp, but not a too big nose. Golden-green eyes, which reminded me of a cat’s eyes. His dark lashes were covered in black mascara, which made them look even longer than they were in reality. There was some glittery blue eyeliner on his eyes. A transparent lipstick with colorful glitter was covering his thin lips. Today, he wore a light blue T-shirt with some white letters on, but I didn’t focus on them.  His white skinny jeans were fitting in with his cast. Magnus was slim, but not anorexic. He was very tall, two inches taller than me. His long, black hair with colorful highlights were put up in spikes. 

This was truly a hot look on him. I loved it.

Suddenly, I felt a nudge on my ribs. I looked to the side and spotted the pointed look of Aline Penhallow. I followed her eyes and realized, that Magnus was still standing, leaning on his crutches. I scolded myself silently again, and moved a chair for him to sit down. When he did so and smiled at me honestly, I felt my cheeks burning again.

“Thank you, Alec.”

“You’re…wel…welcome,” I stuttered, trying to look above him, so he wouldn’t see my blush. 

Aline and Helen left us alone. My heart was going crazy, both with excitement and panic. I was all alone with Magnus Bane. I hoped, in the bottom of my heart, I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of him. I sat down next to him, and waited for him to begin our talk. I had no idea what to say. And frankly, I was sure that whatever I’d say, then, will sound too stupid. 

“So, Alec…” he started, as he placed his hand next to my knee on my chair. “What should I do here?”

“Well…you…am…you…you…” For heaven’s sake, why could I not stop stuttering? Minute by minute I was making more fool of myself. Magnus grabbed my hand in his and started to brush it lightly. His touch was like touching a hot pan, yet, it didn’t make me flinch or pull away from him. Instead, I pushed my hand more into his own. I craved this hotness, hidden in the gentleness of his touch. 

“It’s alright. Just breathe and start again,” he instructed me with his soft voice, never letting go of my hand. He winked at me, causing another blush on my cheeks. 

“Ok.” I took three deep breaths and started again. “You will be assigned to one kid. And you’re obliged to help him with studying, or homework.” He nodded to that, brushing the pad of my hand with his thumb. “And if you’re good, you can stay with me…I mean with the group!!”

“Alright,” he laughed a bit. “So…which one of them is mine?”

“Depends,” Alec finally calmed his stuttering voice. “What are you good at? Besides English?”

“How do you know I’m good in English?” he asked suspiciously. 

“We do have the same classes, Magnus.” It was true. We have most of our classes together. “And I saw your grades a few times. You’re good in English.” Bane was looking through me. For a moment I had a feeling that he’s stripping me with his gorgeous cat eyes. “And other subjects?”

“Well…Al…”

“How nice to see you on this fine Saturday, Alexander.” The smile dropped from my face as soon as I heard the female voice. I didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Lacey. A girl from grade ten, who has a crush on me. At least that’s what Simon told me once. “How are you? Did you miss me?”

“Em…” I didn’t know what to say to her, but I was beaten to it by the melodic voice of Magnus. 

“Excuse me,” he started, glaring her coldly. “If you don’t mind. Alexander and I are having a little talk here. So shush, hon.” He waved her off. The girl walked away from us with anger written all over her face. I sighed out with a relief. “Your ex-girlfriend?”

“No! Dear god, no!” I answered immediately. “She’s not even my friend.”

“Ah, so she has a crush on you.” I nodded, not looking in his eyes. “Well, can’t blame her. You’re very attractive, Alexander.”

“It’s Alec.”

“I prefer Alexander.” He grinned at me, making my knees go weak. Thank god that I was sitting on a chair, otherwise I would have fallen down to the floor. “So…who’s my little victim?”

…

Magnus was sitting before Maureen trying to teach her some English. I could see that he was explaining something to her. If I read his lips well, he was telling her about Shakespeare. If I recalled correctly, it was what grade ten was doing now. Unfortunately, she didn’t make any progress with him. She wasn’t making any progress with anyone besides Simon, who was absent today, because of the doctor’s visit. There was a reason why Maureen wasn’t making any progress. She was in love with Simon Lewis, everyone in the school knew it. She wanted to spend as much time as she could with him, and refused to learn anything from anyone. But it wasn’t the point of tutoring. We were supposed to help kids with their studying.

I recalled how I got to the group. It was just after my first detention for fighting with Woolsey Scott. From the moment I got here, I liked it very much. I enjoy teaching kids who need my help. I especially loved the moment when they got a good grade and they came to tell me about it. I didn’t like their thanks, I loved their wide smiles and happiness. I felt as if I mattered then. Like I’m finally doing something good, worthy. 

“Alec!” I heard some light, boyish voice. I looked above my desk and spotted Tim. A grade nine student. He was running towards me with a huge smile on his face. 

“Hi, Tim,” I greeted him. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“I got B+ on the math test.” He jumped on my desk, shoving the papers to the floor. He handed me a white sheet with some red mark. Ah, his test. I looked proudly at it. He was getting better with every other test. I was truly proud of Tim.

“Congratulations, Tim. I knew, you could do it.”

“Thank you! Thank you!” he threw himself on my neck, squeezing me as hard as he could. I hugged him back, patting his shoulder lightly. 

“You’re welcome, Timmy.”

Later, I was working with Sandy, a girl from  grade ten. She had trouble with math as well. While she was trying to figure out the equations, I looked over at Magnus. He was trying to teach Maureen. He was frowning all the time, and I could easily tell that it was hard for him to not snap at her. I couldn’t blame him. Maureen was a difficult case. There was remorse in my heart when I was watching them. I should have given him someone easier to work with. When I was finally done with Sandy, I decided to save Magnus from his nightmare. I walked towards them and stopped next to their table. He looked up at me with a soft, small smile while Maureen was shooting daggers with her eyes at him. 

“How’s it going?” I tried to sound casual, even though my hand was shaking, as always, when I was close to Magnus. 

“Great,” Bane’s voice was dripping with sarcasm. 

“He’s bad at this. I want Simon.” The girl demanded, glaring at me. 

“Well…Sheldon isn’t here. So you have to stick with me, girl!” Magnus snapped at her. I couldn’t blame him. 

“I don’t have to!” she barked back and got up too quickly, throwing the chair away. It landed hard on the floor, almost breaking. Maureen left the room. 

“I’m sorry,” Magnus sighed loudly. “I really tried.”

“It’s ok,” I offered him a small smile. “I shouldn’t have paired you with Maureen. She’s difficult and hard to anyone who isn’t Simon.” 

“I see.” We shared another small smile, mine was followed by a blush. After that I left to help some other kids. 

…

The time passed too quickly. Before we realized it, it was almost 3 p.m., which meant the end of the tutoring session. The rest of the kids who came in later were sent home already and we, the tutors, stayed behind to clean up the room. Once we were done, Mrs. Branwell collected us all in a circle, to have a better look at us, as she said. 

“Thank you all for coming here. You did wonderfully today. Have a great rest of the weekend.”

We bid her goodbye and to each other and left the building. When I got to the parking lot, I realized that most of the tutors have gone already. I saw that the only ones left was me and Magnus. As I opened the door of my car I saw that Magnus was talking to someone over the phone. Bane’s voice was upset. 

“Great! So how am I supposed to go back, huh? You promised to pick me up, Camille! You know that I can’t drive myself!” he huffed and screamed into the phone, while leaning hard on his crutches. For a moment I was afraid that he’ll fall down. “You know what? Screw you, Cam! So much for friends!”

He ended the call abruptly, shoving the phone in his jeans’ pocket. He threw his backpack on his shoulder and started to move slowly. For a brief moment I debated myself, what should I do. And soon, my heart agreed with my manners. I slowly closed the door and walked closer to my crush. 

“Magnus?”

“What?!” he snapped at me, harshly. Yet, I didn’t take this to heart. I knew he was upset. “Sorry.”

“Do you need a ride?” 

“What?” this time he asked softly. 

“Do you need a ride home? I’m going to Brooklyn anyway. I promised to pick up Jace from Clary. I can drop you off.” 

“If that won’t be a problem for you.” I shook my head and led him towards my car. “Thank you, Alexander.” I blushed at him using my full name. I helped him get into the car and carefully laid the crutches in the back. 

We were silent during the ride. No one dared to speak. I didn’t know what to say anyway. I have never been that close to my crush. My heart was beating like crazy, my hands were sweating. To hide my nervousness, I turned the music on. From Magnus’s face I could tell that he’s not into this kind of music. Before I decided to change the station, a song of Alexisonfire burst through the speakers. Bane’s eyes were wide open as he turned it down and then looked at me. 

“What in the god’s name was that?!” he exclaimed loudly, changing the radio to some pop station. 

“That was one of their greatest hits.” I answered, not taking my eyes off the road. 

“This wasn’t  music. Those were screams.”

“It is music.” With that, our conversation ended. 

Further into the drive, I could smell the sweet scent of Magnus. A mix of sandalwood, a perfume and some personal smell of just Magnus. It was intoxicating for me. I craved to smell it more, which was totally creepy, as Isabelle would say. Yet, I couldn’t even let him know that I like him that way. He would never look at me that way. How could he? He’s perfect, shiny, loud, out-going. While I am silent, shy, embarrassed most of the time. I don’t even look so good, despite the public opinion. I’m only a nerd, like those that his friends are picking on constantly. Though, Magnus has matured since last year. He’s telling his friends to stop doing this, every time he’s a witness to such harassment. 

“I can walk from Clary’s place.” His voice brought me back from my thoughts. 

“It’s okay. I can drive you home. I can’t let you walk with those crutches,” I added silently, not looking at him. Magnus agreed with it and looked outside the window. Twenty minutes later we were at his place. I pulled over and helped him get out. When our hands touched it was strange. His hands were warm and smooth and nice to touch. It sent some electrifying feeling to my body. The positive one. I think Magnus felt it too. He looked quite shocked. I pulled my hand from his once he stood steadily on his feet. For a moment there was an awkward silence between us. “So…erm…bye.”

“Bye, Alexander. And thank you.” For a moment I looked slightly confused. “For a ride and for what you have done in school, for what you have said to Jace.” He kissed me lightly on the cheek. It was more like a peck, yet, it left me flushed and stunned. 

I stood like an idiot on his porch a few more minutes after Magnus went inside. My head was spinning. My heart was hammering. And I tried not to overthink what had happened. Magnus Bane kissed me! My longtime crush kissed me! I touched my cheek, where his lips were seconds before just to assure myself that it was real. It wasn’t the way I dreamt it, but it was still amazing. As I walked back to my car, I couldn’t wipe the grin off of my face. Soon, I drove off and picked Jace up.

“What’s this?” Jace pointed at something on the front passenger seat. I looked closer and realized that it must have been Magnus’s glitter. After all, he had it on his hair today. “Is that a glitter?”

“Probably Magnus’s. I gave him a ride today.” Jace looked at me puzzled. “He’s in our tutoring group.”

Jace started to laugh, as I stopped in our driveway. 

“What a loser.”

“Don’t call him like that, Jace.” I warned him. 

“Whatever,” he muttered, getting out. “Anyway, why did you give him a ride today?”

“He just didn’t have anyone to pick him up today. And I was picking you up from Brooklyn anyway. I was being nice to him.” He looked annoyed at me. “I am nice, not like you.”

“You know, this being nice to everyone will bring you harm one day. Especially, being nice to Magnus Bane.” I rolled my eyes at him, as I stepped inside the house. “He’s mean.”

“He was nice to me.”

“Yeah, but don’t get your hopes up.” Jace warned me, looking deeply into my eyes. “I know you like him that way. I just don’t want you to end up being hurt, big brother.”

When he left me alone, I wondered about his words. Was Jace right to warn me against Magnus? If I would get closer to Magnus, will he break my heart? Maybe I should be careful with my feelings. Maybe I should watch out. 

I shook my head. This was ridiculous. I had nothing to worry about. Magnus Bane will never look at me that way. I was sure that he won’t even talk or look at me on Monday at school.   

But boy, I was so wrong. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you like it?
> 
> Thanks for all kudos and comments. You are amazing. Still, I'm looking for someone who'd like to draw scenes for MWAAF.
> 
> Beta: The one and only Red Coral. Amazing person and wonderful writer. Check out her stories on fanfiction.
> 
> If you know spanish, here's a link to the spanish version of MWAAF on wattpad. Check it out. https://www.wattpad.com/story/102173994-quiz%C3%A1-somos-un-cuento-de-hadas-malec
> 
> Comment if you feel like to,
> 
> Intoxic


	5. This wounded heart's going grey

**Chapter IV**

**„This wounded heart’s going grey”**

I was driving to school with Catarina this morning, since my leg was still in a cast. I hated being in this state. I couldn’t wait to be free from the cast. My best friend was pulling in the parking lot, when she asked.

“How did it go on Saturday?” I looked at my friend. She was turning off the radio.

We have been best friends since kindergarten. I was four then, but I still remember the moment we met. I was playing by myself with a brown, old teddy bear, when a group of three boys, they were five for sure, approached me. They started laughing at me, because I was wearing big, round glasses. They grabbed the bear and ripped it out of my hands. I recall that I was crying my eyes out then. As they were laughing their asses off at me, Catarina came up and ripped the bear from their hands. Before she told them to leave me alone, she pushed the leader of their group – Mike – to the floor. Oh, we had been punished for that with no cake  in the kindergarten, and there had been some yelling from our parents. But that was the day that our friendship formed and it lasts till now.

“It was okay,” I answered while I was getting out of her car; a green Toyota from 98’.

It was even more than okay. Saturday was great, despite the fact that I spent four hours in the school. The effort that I put into trying to teach Maureen was rewarded. I couldn’t stop thinking about those electrifying blue eyes and that cute blush which decorated Alec’s cheeks. I couldn’t get Alexander Lightwood out of my mind. It was scary and exciting at the same time. I mean, I never thought about him this way, this much. Yes, I see him at school every day, but I never knew that I could be interested in him. Of course, from the moment I laid my eyes on Alec I knew his beauty is streaking, after all he has black hair and blue eyes; my favorite combination; but I didn’t know that I could be fond of him. But it all changed on Saturday, when I saw his other side, not the closed-one. I saw him more alive, happier, laughing. He was talking lightly with other people in the room. His blue eyes were shining with happiness. It made me happy to see him like this. And strangely, on the other hand, I felt a pang of jealousy, because I wanted to make him happy. I couldn’t understand it. I’ve never felt like this before with anyone. I felt as if something was drawing me to him. Like some kind of magic that burst after I kissed his cheek on my porch. My heart skipped a bit then. And as scary as it was, I enjoyed that feeling very much.

“Okay, as it you had fun?” she asked further, as we walked inside the school.

“Yes, I had fun.” I admitted.

“Oh, Mags, you’re turning into a nerd.” She joked as we walked into the first class. Math.

We moved towards our seats in the back of the class. Alec was already here. As we were passing his desk, I waved at him and smiled.

“Hey, Alexander,” I said casually.

“H…Hi,” he stuttered cutely, his cheeks reddened in this beautiful way. I loved this look on him.

I limped to my seat at the back of the classroom. Catarina after me. Once we took our seats, my eyes immediately moved to Alexander. I couldn’t stop looking at him. Today he wore some black ripped jeans, and a black hoodie. A bit of a mourning look, but it suited him rather well. His hair was messier than usual. His cheeks still had a shade of pink, whenever he glanced at me from time to time.

“Stop staring at him,” Cate whispered to my ear, elbowing me in the ribs. I glanced at her and found her rolling her eyes at me. “I have a feeling that something happened on Saturday. Spill, my glittery friend.”

“Not much, we just…”

“Mr. Bane, Miss Loss, am I interrupting you two?” We looked up at Mr. Starkweather and found him glaring at us. “If you’re not interested in my class, there’s the door” he pointed at the door, not taking his murderous look off of us. We just shook our heads and stopped talking. “Good. Now…he turned back to the class. “Shall we continue?” He walked back to his desk, and crossed his eyes with me again. “Mr. Bane, I’d like to see you after class. We have something to discuss.”

“Of course,” I said silently, wondering what that was about.

“What does he want with you?” Catarina asked in a whisper, when he turned to write something on the blackboard. I just shrugged my arms. I had no idea why he wanted to speak with me.

When the bell rang all of the kids, except for me, left the room. As I was packing my books, I saw that Alec was held by our teacher. The man was talking silently to him, while Alec was nodding to him, with a shy smile. After Starkweather finished talking, Alec left the room, glancing at me for the last time. I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a small smile and a flirtatious wink. After the door closed, the teacher crooked his fingers at me. I limped towards him, as slowly as I could, still wondering what was going on. He pointed at the chair before the desk, urging me to sit down. Once I did, he opened his scrapbook. There were a bunch of papers in it, a few of them had my name on it.

“You disappointed me, Mr. Bane. Very.” I looked unsurely at him, as he continued. “When you came to this school, you were a good student. You had good grades. And now?” he placed my previous tests before me. Almost every one of them was pointed with an F or D-. Not good. “You’re failing my class, Magnus.”

“I am what?”

“You’re failing math.” He pointed at his notes. “You failed my last two tests, and the two before them were barely a D.” I took the tests in my hands and took a closer look. I couldn’t believe this. How could I not have seen that I’m failing?

‘As if you care’ my mind was telling me in an arrogant, little voice.

“I don’t want to fail you at the end of the year, Magnus.” Starkweather’s voice got me out of thoughts. “I want you to pass your senior year.”

“I want that too, Mr. S,” I looked at him pleadingly. “I can’t fail my last year here. What can I do?”

“I want to help you.” He assured me with a soft smile. “You know, there’s a group of tutors in our school. They meet every Saturday to help those who need it.”

“Yes, I know. I’m kind of one of the tutors now.” He gave me a confused look. “It’s my detention for destroying the Theater room.”

“Right. But you need a little bit more than Saturday tutoring.” I nodded to his words. He was right, I needed some help. “That’s why I asked my best student to help you out. He agreed to teach you.” When he revealed that my tutor is a male, I silently hoped that it will be my sweet boy. I closed my eyes and waited for the name. Yet, it never came. Instead, the door opened and someone walked in. I quickly opened my eyes and turned to the right. It was him. Alec Lightwood walked inside with an awkward smile. “Alec agreed to help you. And please, for your own sake, let him do it. You truly need some help, Magnus.”

“Yes, of course,” I flashed my best smile at Alec, and looked at him intensively from under my lashes. The boy was blushing in a second.

“When do we start?” Alec asked when we left the classroom. I was slowly limping by his side, so close that I could almost touch his hand with my own.

“Whenever you want to and can.” Alec gave a sharp nod to this. I stopped at the corner and turned to Alec. “Thank you, for agreeing to help me. I don’t know what more I can say.”

“Don’t thank me just yet.” He smiled shyly, taking a step closer to me. “Let’s wait and see the results of the tutoring.”

“I solemnly swear, that I’ll be the best student you can imagine. And if not, you can subtly punish me.” I couldn’t stop myself from winking at him. In no time, Alec’s cheeks were burning red, and his pupils were slightly bigger than always. He avoided looking me in the eyes. My, my, Alec, are you having dirty thoughts? I asked myself. A playful smile came up on my face. “So, when do we start?”

“How ‘bout today? After school in my place? Sounds good?” I agreed with him immediately. The bell rang and we separated. Before Alec disappeared behind the corner, he said to me, “I’ll wait for you by your locker.”

When the lunch break hit, I went to the cafeteria. Cate and Tessa were already there, chatting lively about something. When Tessa spotted me, she waved at me, pointing at the free chair next to her. I grabbed my crutches with a stronger grip and walked towards them. As I was moving, I saw that the rest of our friends; Camille, Woolsey, Ragnor, Will and Jem were sitting at another table.

“Hey there,” The younger girl said. Teresa Gray was two years younger than me, and year younger than Cate, but sometimes, her intelligence could tell otherwise. I sat down next to her and pointed my head at the rest of our group. Tessa shrugged her arms and grabbed my hand into her. “We’re with you. They can get lost, as Nate loves to say.”

“Tessa Gray, you’re a little devil.” Both of my friends laughed loudly.

“Anyway,” Cate was the first one to break the laugh. “Now tell me everything about Saturday.”

“Exactly, spill.” Tessa joined her with a request.

“Nothing much,” I responded casually, at least as much as I could. “I tutored some girl. Then Alec gave me a ride home. I kissed him. Said goodbye and he went back home.” I tried to speak as fast as I could, so they wouldn’t catch on that fact. For once, my girlfriends didn’t miss my ramble. They seemed to hear the most important thing. And they reacted just as I predicted, with a loud squeak.

“Oh my God! You kissed him!” Cate’s high-pitched voice hurt my ears. I clasped a hand over her mouth, before someone else heard her.

“Shut up, Cate! Nobody has to know!” She rolled her eyes at me, but stopped muttering under my hand. She nodded her head in a sign of agreement. “Yes, I kissed him.” I added. Before both of them could express their joy again, I decided to say more. “But it’s not like that. I kissed him on the cheek in gratitude.”

“Damn,” Tessa expressed with a frown. “And here I thought that it was something good.”

“It was for me.” They looked at me curiously. “If you’d seen the beautiful blush on his cheeks after the kiss, you’d be delighted too. I was.”

“So what now?” Catarina prompted, bumping me in the ribs, when she spotted Alec on the other side of the cafeteria. I looked at him and saw him smiling at his phone. He looked so beautiful then, so relaxed.

“I’m not sure. I’m going over to his place today. We’ll be studying math. Well, he’ll be tutoring me. I’m failing math, so… I’ll see tonight. Maybe then I’ll ask him out.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” Tessa’s question was very odd. I looked at her questioningly. “I mean, are you even sure he’s gay or bisexual like you? I’ve never seen him with a boy, well in fact I haven’t seen him with any girl as well.”

“Maybe he’s closeted? I bet he hasn’t come out yet.” Catarina seemed to agree with my words, yet Tessa had some hesitation. “Look, Tess, my gaydar has never failed me before. I’m sure that Alec is gay or bi.”

“But be careful, okay?” She spoke, squeezing my hand reassuringly. “I just…I just don’t want you to be heartbroken at the end. Don’t get your hopes up, ok?”

…

Alec was waiting for me by my locker. He clearly was very uncomfortable there, especially with the looks he was receiving from Ragnor and Woolsey. I quickly walked towards him, greeting him with a wide smile. I moved to my locker to grab the rest of my books. Alec, like a true gentleman took my bag from me and the books from my right hand.

“I’ll carry them for you,” his quiet voice reached my ears.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, Magnus.” I heard the familiar, deep voice of Ragnor. “How’s it going?”

“Like you care,” I couldn’t stop myself from muttering to him. I closed my locker and grabbed the crutches. “I’m ready to go.”

Alec nodded and gestured at me to walk first, ahead of him. But I couldn’t move, as someone grabbed me by my elbow. I turned around to see it was my formerly best friend.

“Can we talk? We need to talk.” He let go of my elbow and moved himself to stand in front of me. “We’re best friends, Mags. Please.” My face didn’t show any emotion by then. Ragnor moved his eyes on Alec and addressed him. “Get lost, nerdy boy. I need to talk with Magnus.”

When Alec wanted to take a step, I stopped him with my right hand.

“Call him like that again, and you’ll be the one with a broken leg and nose. He’s staying right here, with me. And now,” I pushed him a bit to the left. “If you’ll excuse me. Alec and I have some plans. Come on, Alexander.”

“So now he’s your best friend?” The hurt in Ragnor’s voice was plainly obvious. Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“He’s definitely a better friend than you. Alec would never abandon me.” With that, I grabbed Alec’s wrist and pulled him after me, away from those jerks.

The ride to Alec’s home was silent. I didn’t want to speak, nor him. I was thinking about what Ragnor said. He was right, he has been my best friend since grade two. I have to eventually talk to him. Our friendship can’t end like that. And I have to admit that I miss my friend. I miss our talks. It’s way different from talking to my girls. With Ragnor I could literally talk about everything. He is like a brother to me.

“We’re here,” Alec’s voice got me out of thoughts. “Magnus?”

“Right.” He left the car first and came around to open the door for me. He helped me get out and led me to his home.

I’ve never been to Alec’s house before. But it was very welcoming. Yellow front walls were inviting. The wooden bench on the porch seemed to be very comfortable to sit on in the warm, summer nights. As we walked inside, I spotted many pictures on the white walls of the hall. Most of them were family pictures, but some of them were of other people, probably friends of the family.

“Where do you want to work?” he asked, standing before me.

“Wherever you want.”

“Will you be able to get upstairs? To my room?” I could only smile at this question. I’d find myself in Alec’s bedroom? Now that was a nice thought.

“Alexander, I may have a broken leg, but I’m not some damsel in distress.” He laughed at this. His laughter sounded like a beautiful soft melody. “Besides, if I fall, you can catch me. Like a knight in shining armor.”

With the corner of my eye I saw that Alec blushed. We started to walk. When we were in the middle of the stairs, Alec spoke again.

“I think you should talk to Ragnor.”

“What? ” The sudden words made me falter and almost fall from the stairs. Thankfully, Alexander caught me on time and drew me to his muscular chest.

“I’ve got you.”I could feel how fast his heart was beating. His face was flushed. We were looking into each other’s eyes. I could see the mesmerizing beauty of these baby blues. In this moment I wanted nothing more than kiss him. I slowly leaned down, but in the same second the front door was opened. Alec moved a bit from me, helping me steady myself.

“Anybody home? ” I heard a female voice. Probably Alec’s mom.

“Hi, mom.”

“Alec honey, wha…hello,” she smiled at us. I waved at her, waiting for Alec to introduce me.

“Mom, this is Magnus, a friend from school. I’m going to tutor him today,” Alec answered and smiled at his mom. She looked like him. Black hair, blue eyes, but a bit less electrifying. She wasn’t as tall as Alec, so Alec had to have inherited his height from his dad. She was a very elegant woman, she wore a black jacket and black dress. I started to wonder if every Lightwood has this mourn look. “We’re going to my room.”

“Sure. Magnus you will stay for dinner, right?”

“I don’t want to trouble you Mrs. Lightwood.”

“Nonsense, boy, you’re not a problem. I’ll call you when it’s ready,” we only nodded and started to go upstairs again. “Alec, honey, did you take your meds today?”

“Before I went to school!”

“Ok. Then have fun in there.”

When we finally were in Alec’s bedroom, I took a good look at it. It all screamed that Alec was the resident of it. Light blue walls. Grey sheets on the queen-sized bed. Black desk with a laptop on it. Some books and CDs. A radio on the shelf.

Nothing extraordinary. But what surprised me was that one wall was covered by hanged frames with pictures of Alec and other people.

“I’ll get us some drinks.” I nodded at this and moved to look closer at the pictures. Most of them were of Alec and his siblings. Some of them were of Alec and some older man, probably his father. Some of them were of Alec and his mother. But the most surprising were the ones where Alec was with some young, beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair. The girl couldn’t be much younger than us. She had green eyes, full of sparkles. On some pictures they were holding hands, smiling at each other. In one of them, she was kissing Alec’s cheek while they were sitting on a swing. The picture couldn’t be taken so long ago, because Alec looked like he looks now. I looked closer at the date in the corner. 2.07.2012, so it had been taken just four months ago. They looked so happy on this picture. And I felt a pang of jealousy.

I heard someone’s throat clearing, and I turned around slightly embarrassed.

“I hope apple juice is okay? We don’t have anything else. Mom wasn’t…”

“It’s great. Thank, you,” he smiled a little and put our glasses on the desk. “She’s really pretty,” I said, pointing at the picture of him and that girl. “Really pretty.”

“Yes, Ellie is beautiful.”

“You two must be really close,” I said, sitting down on his bed and taking out my math book.

“We are. I love that girl.”

For a moment the time and world froze for me. I couldn’t understand his words at all. I love that girl. It couldn’t be real. Yet, the evidence hanged on the wall, right before my eyes. I felt something twist in my stomach. I was truly shocked, in a bad way. I never thought that he has a girlfriend. I was sure that he’s gay, that I have a chance. But right now all of my possible chances were dead.

Hours later, on my drive back home in a taxi, after I declined Alec’s offer to drive me home, I called my best friend. I knew that Tessa and Catarina are together right now, they were working on some school project.

“Yes?” I heard Gray’s happy voice.

“You were right Tess. I shouldn’t get my hopes up.” Before she could start coddling me, I told her everything. “Alec Lightwood isn’t interested in me. He has a girlfriend.”


	6. Hot and cold

**Chapter V**

**Hot and cold**

The past week has been the strangest week in my whole life, it was also the first week of me tutoring Magnus Bane. Every day after school we met at my place so I could teach him. I had to admit that most of the time he was a very good student. He seemed to understand every single thing I explained him. He was improving, which was great.

But the strangest thing was his behavior. At first, in the very beginning, Magnus had been affectionate towards me. He used to grab my hand here, smile softly at me there. He winked at me when I was looking at him. He flirted openly whenever we talked. He even kissed my cheek that Saturday on his porch. Yet, now all that seem to have disappeared for good. Magnus no longer winked at me. There have been no more subtle brushes of his hand, no soft smiles when he looks me. It had all changed, yet, I had no idea what I did wrong.

In fact, I didn’t even know if something happened, but it had to be something I did recently. But I had no idea when and what happened. It frustrated me. I thought that something clicked between us, as Izzy put it, when he slipped on the stairs and fell into my arms. For a moment, I was sure that he was going to kiss me then, as he leaned in. Unfortunately, my mother had to interrupt us.

Nonetheless, now it was so different and it made me sigh with resignation sometimes. I liked him, he has been my crush for so long. For a moment I saw a sign of hope, I thought that maybe he likes me as well, or at least he seemed to acknowledge me in another way than friends. I admit, I wanted, still want to get closer to him, but I’m too afraid to make the first move. Magnus is amazing, outgoing, handsome, while I’m the exact opposite. Yet, something has been drawing me to him for a while now. But I feared that I may have my heart crushed by him if I let him know about my feelings. Jace has warned me so many times, has reminded me of Magnus’s reputation at school.

I couldn’t recall how exactly it came out to light. One day, it wasn’t even long after Magnus’s arrival to our school. There was this party that I didn’t go to but Izzy and Jace did, it was hosted by Oliver Haywire, the star of our football team. After that the rumors began to float through the school’s halls. They were the same lines, like 'Magnus did it with the five girls at that party', or 'I even heard that he did it with some fourteen-year-old' actually that I refused to believe. Or 'girls started to pay him to have sex with them'. And the most awful was 'Magnus Bane is a common whore for everyone who will pay him'. Now in our school Magnus has the status of 'Slept with at least half of the school'. Those words stuck with him because he never denied them. Some kids say that he's proud of that status. Jace's friends often say that whenever he gets someone, he just fucks that person and leaves them, without caring about the said person’s feelings. At first he was going out only with girls, but soon he started to swing both ways. That fact didn't surprise anyone at school.

Yet deep down I knew that his reputation was fake, at least some part of it. When I observed him at school, with his friends through the years, I saw the real Magnus. He was sweet, nice, smart, loyal to his friends. He was a different person than the Magnus from the rumors. I just wanted to know better this side of him. I wanted to learn how truly cute he can be. I wanted to see the broken side of his that I see whenever I look into his eyes. I wanted to find out the honest laugh he showed last week during our small talk in my car, as Magnus laughed at my joke. Simply, I just wanted to know the real Magnus Bane.

Nevertheless, it seemed that Magnus wasn’t interested in getting to know me in a more than friendly way.

* * *

 

The next morning, I was awoken by the sound of my mother’s voice, coming from downstairs. As soon as it was possible I made my way to the kitchen, only to find her with a worried expression.

“Are you alright, mom?” I asked uncertainly, sitting on the stool.

“I am. But are you?” her question made me confused for a moment. “I called doctor Anderson, Alec. I told her that you lost weight again and that you’re sleeping more than before. She’s concerned, as am I.”

“Mom, I’m fine,” I tried to explain it calmly. When it came to my health, my mother was overprotective. Although, I couldn’t blame her, not when I was in remission, but not fully cured.

“So you say, honey. But I need to make sure.” She circled her arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Doctor Anderson wants you to go in for a check-up.”

The scared look in her blue eyes told me that she was serious. I know my mother well enough to know that she’ll make me go there otherwise, so it was better to agree to her request. I simply nodded to this and was granted a soft, relieved smile from Maryse.

“Your father will take you,” she stated as dad walked into the kitchen. He looked at us in an embrace and raised his left eyebrow in a silent question. “You’ll take Alec to doctor Anderson tomorrow morning, Robert.”

Dad didn’t even question this. When mom’s eyes were filled with concern, he bent to her every order.

Tomorrow morning, I was supposed to learn why I am sleeping more these last days. Although I was convinced it was nothing out of the ordinary. After all, I was feeling just fine.

…

Later that evening, I was talking on the phone with my best friend, Ellie. As always, we exchanged the basic information about our days and such.

“She’s always like this, Alec,” she mused, after I told her about the morning talk with my mother. “Maryse is your mother. It’s a motherly thing to worry about their child. My mom worries about me too, all the time.”

“I know, but I’m fine, El,” I assured her, laying myself on my bed.

“Go there for hers and mine sake, honey-bee. And you better call me afterwards, or I’ll come to Manhattan and kick your ass,” I could easily picture her standing  before me with hands on her hips and the pointing look she usually gave on such occasions. “You’re in there, honey-bee?”

“I think I told you to not call me that.”

“And I said that it suits you, Allie-cat” she responded to my words.

“Ugh,” There was a loud growl in my voice. “I hate you, El.”

“I love you too,” she joked. Alec could imagine her doing a kissy face in that moment. We both laughed at the same time. This was the reason that I loved the girl for. She could make me smile like no one else before, even with the simplest things. I often thought that if I weren’t gay and utterly head over heels for Magnus Bane, I’d definitely fall in love with her. “Ok, enough with the chit-chat. Now tell me, how are you and your boy-toy. Have you kissed him already? Had sex with him?”

“Eleanor Katherine Baker!” I squeaked to the phone. My cheeks were starting to burn from embarrassment. How could she ask me about it?

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood!” Her voice was just as loud as mine. “Great, we know each other’s names. Now tell me, how is the progress going? Are you two an item now?”

“You speak like my grandmother,” I couldn’t stop myself from the comment. “We did nothing. Just studied.”

“Nothing? Like nada? Null?” She sighed loudly. I could also hear some kind of sound, like a smack. “Oh god, just tell me one thing. How could you do nothing, when you were alone in your bedroom, Alec?! It’s an ideal situation!”

“I don’t know. Something has changed, El.” I tried to explain as best as I could. “I don’t know.”

“Elaborate, Alec. Last time we talked, you were so excited that he kissed your cheek, that for a moment I thought you were going to explode. And now this?” she remarked, giving me a moment to think. Truthfully, I had no idea what had happened between me and Magnus. Moreover, I had no idea how to fix it. “When did it all start?”

“I don’t know. Around the time he was in my house for the first tutoring session.”

“Ok. Tell me everything that happened then. Boy you may be gay, but you don’t know anything about boys.” Ellie chimed in, making me huff in disagreement.

Once again I told her minute by minute about every single thing that happened on that Monday afternoon. Occasionally she hummed during my small pauses, but she never cut me off, until the moment I began to speak about our almost-kiss.

“I held him in my arms, pressed to my chest. I could feel how fast his heart was beating. Mine was the same. Then we were looking into each other's eyes, he started to lean towards me, like he wanted to kiss me…and then my mom came in."

"Oh…bummer… That woman has no timing at all…anyway, go on…what came next?" I could agree with her conclusion.

“We went to my room. I offered him a drink. That’s it.” She fell silent again, probably pondering everything I had said. I wondered about it as well. I couldn’t recall anything that could throw Magnus off. Actually, there wasn’t even time for me to do something wrong so he could decide that I’m not good for him. Before I could even take the first step, if I’d ever find some courage in me, he took the step back and stopped his advances towards me. There was no more subtly caressing of hands. No more smiles, no winking. “You know, El? I shouldn’t have hoped for something more. He is the most handsome boy I’ve ever met, and I’m me. A plain boy. No wonder he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. I should just listen to Jace and not try to get close to him. He would never look at me this way.”

“Stop with this, Alec!” She protested loudly, making my ears hurt. “Quit being a whiner and mostly, stop listening to Jace’s stupid advice. Just try to find out whatever happened between the two of you, before you decide to throw your potential true love away, okay?”

“Yeah,” I agreed with her idea, though I had a feeling that it was pointless.

“Go to sleep and call me tomorrow with your results. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ellie.” With that we both hung up almost at the same time.

Tonight I fell asleep, dreaming about the beautiful Magnus Bane.

* * *

 

I was sitting on the uncomfortable chair in the Oncology wing at the Beth Israel Hospital. This was my last time on the children’s level. If anything is wrong with me, I’ll be moved to the adult’s level upstairs. Dad was sitting next to me, reading some magazine or at least he pretended to do so. I knew, he was just as nervous as mom. I had often heard them, as they spoke about my health. Robert tried to be strong for mom in those moments, but he was just as concerned as she was, and it pained me sometimes. I didn’t want to be the reason of their distress. Yet, I couldn’t do anything about it.

We were called into Doctor Anderson’s office. Nothing has changed in here for the past few years. The same pictures of her family members were placed on the glass desk. The same yellow walls were making me sick, as usual. Lauren Anderson pointed at two chairs for me and dad, before she took her seat behind the desk. She clearly was surprised to see dad here, usually it was mom who came on visits with me. But today, she had a parent-teacher meeting at Max’s school.

“Your mother told me that you’ve been sleeping a lot lately and that you’ve lost weight again, Alec.” The doctor addressed me, eyeing me thoroughly.

“Well, I do sleep a bit more than usual, but it’s because I’m working much more at school now. But I don’t think I’ve lost weight.” I tried to remember my weight from two months ago, but I couldn’t find the number in my mind.

“Have you had any nosebleeds lately?” I shook my head at the question. “Any heavy headaches? Difficulties with breathing?”

“No.” I answered truthfully. There were no symptoms of the leukemia returning. I was perfectly fine, just a bit tired.

“So, is there anything wrong with my son?” Dad spoke for the first time, taking the doctor’s focus from me.

“I’d like to do a blood test, just to make sure.” Father agreed to it, as I still wasn’t eighteen years old.

Some nurse came to the office not long later and she took me to the exam room. Fifteen minutes later, she had a vial full of my blood and she thanked me for being so patient while she tried to find a vein on my right arm. She made an appointment for me in two days so the doctor could tell me the results. After dad and I bid our goodbyes to doctor Anderson, we went back to our car.

The ride home wasn’t very long, but it gave me the time to check my messages. I had hoped that I’d have some news from Magnus. I felt bad that I had to turn down our tutoring session today, but I had to go to the doctor, especially when my mom asked me to. When I told him about it at our morning classes, I could swear he was sad, even though he said that nothing happened. For the fourth time this day I texted him with a small apology.

_ 'It's really ok, Alec. We can meet up some other time *smiling face*' _

_ 'How bout 2morrow after school? My place?' _

_ 'Sounds good. See you 2morrow Alec' _

_ 'See you, Magnus' _

“Who are you texting so eagerly?” Dad’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts as we stopped at the red light. “I saw that smile, Alexander.” My cheeks were warmer in no time. “And that blush? So…who’s the boy?”

“He’s just a friend, dad,” I tried to avoid the piercing gaze of my father. There was nothing on this world that would make me talk about boys with my father. “It’s Magnus, the boy I’m tutoring.”

“Oh” he mused, driving off again. “The glittery boy? He seems to be nice and a bit…um…loud.”

“Yes, he’s nice.” A sudden image of a smiling Magnus popped in my head, making me smile involuntarily.

“Do you like him?” his sudden question made me look at him as if he has three heads. Since when was my father, Robert Lightwood, interested in my love-life? “You do. He’s the boy you’ve been talking about to Isabelle and Eleanor. He’s the one that Jace has warned you about.” I nodded to that. “Does he like you as well?”

“He likes me as a friend. Nothing much.” I tried to end this embarrassing conversation as soon as I could, but my father seemed to want to know more about my potential love life. Robert opened his mouth again to speak.

“Don’t worry, son. There are many young men in this world.”

* * *

 

Later that evening I called Ellie. After I explained how the examination went, I surprised her by letting her know about the talk I had with my father.

“He knows I like Magnus,” I whispered to the phone, trying to avoid waking up Isabelle. My sister was sleeping curled up to me, as some action movie was playing on the TV.

“Speaking of the devil. When will you meet with mister hot-pants?” How she could embarrass me even through the phone was beyond me. I tried to do everything in my willpower to not blush as some kind of middle-age maid.

“Tomorrow, after class. We’ll come to my place.” She only hummed at the information.

“Good, so try your best to find out what happened, ok?” this time I hummed my agreement.

“I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you everything, El.”

“Ok.” Before she hung up, she gave me a last reassurement. “Don’t worry, Alec. Tomorrow, we will figure it all out.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ellie is an Original Character, same as doctor Anderson.


	7. Into the light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Attention please: There's a paragraph written here in third person pov, so don't get confused. It's Ellie's POV.   
> Enjoy!

**Chapter VI**

**„Into the light”**

Today started rather good for me. Not only I was informed by my doctor that soon I’ll be free of my cast, but as well, I was going to meet with Alexander again. To be honest, I had missed him the past two days when we weren’t seeing each other. It was strange and wrong, I knew it. I shouldn’t have felt such things towards him. He wasn’t available for me. Yet, I couldn’t help but be drawn towards him. Alexander was amazing, cute, handsome, intelligent. He made my heart skip everytime I saw him. Unfortunately, I had to muffle those feelings. He wouldn’t be interested in me, ever. And frankly, I couldn’t bring myself to step between him and his girlfriend Ellie, no matter how much I liked him.

After my mother dropped me off at school, I was grabbed by Catarina and dragged towards my former best friend, Ragnor Fell. He was just an inch smaller than me with short hair, neatly combed as always. His olive skin was glowing in the morning sun. Ragnor’s green eyes were filled with uncertainty and hurt as he looked at me for the first time in a week.

“I’m sick of your silent treatment,” Catarina stated firmly, glaring at both of us. “You,” She pointed at Ragnor, hitting him in his chest. “You acted like a terrible friend when you left him in the theater room. You chose Woolsey over your best friend. Bad move. And you,” Cate pointed at me then with a meaningful look. “You’re acting like a dick. Ragnor tried to apologize to you, but you threw a bitch fit at him and started to hang out with Alec Lightwood.”

“It’s no…” I tried to say to not involve Alec into this, but she cut me off immediately.

“Oh no. I’m sick of it. You have like ten minutes until the class begins.” She looked down at her white watch and sighed out loud. “Scream, punch each other or kiss. I don’t care. But when you walk in that classroom, you better be best friends again. Understood?!”

We nodded to her small threat at the same time. Catarina Loss could be very scary when pushed to her limits. And it seemed that we  had just been successful at it. As she eyed us for the last time, she turned on her heel and walked towards the entrance of the school, leaving us to set things right.

We stood in an uncomfortable silence for a while. Neither of us knew what to say. After all, we’ve said to each other a few bad things. I leaned on my crutches, trying to find the courage to speak. Finally, after what it seemed to be forever, we both spoke in unison.

“I’m sorry,” we both laughed at this, like old times. I had missed this, missed simply laughing with my best friend.

“You go first,” I prompted, giving him a small smile.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus,” He started, taking a step closer to me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you in there. I shouldn’t have picked Woolsey over you. He’s not even that funny, nor are Will and Jem. You are more important to me. You are my best friend. You have been there for me, for my whole life. God damn it, you’re a brother to me, Mags.” The apologetic look in his green eyes was telling me that he means it. I knew him, Ragnor wasn’t the one to leave me behind by his own will. It clearly was Woolsey’s decision. “I’m sorry. Please, don’t end our friendship. Please, Magnus.”

“You fool,” I bumped him lightly on the arm and laughed. “I’m not going to end our friendship because of something like this. Come on, Ragnor. You’re my brother, remember?” I rose my left wrist, where the bracelet made of green and yellow straps had been placed all those years ago. “I love you, no matter what.”

“I love you too, man,” He drew me hard to his muscled chest.

“I’m sorry too,” I admitted, after we pulled away from each other. “I should have listened to your apologies earlier. I was pissed. I’m sorry.”

When I looked above his shoulder, I spotted the familiar black mop of hair. Alec got out of his car, along with his siblings. The boy was laughing at something, whatever his sister had said. When we crossed our eyes, I immediately dropped down my gaze, before I could drown into the beauty of the two blue pools.

“Who are you looki… Ah, Alec Lightwood,” Ragnor’s voice snapped me out of my admiration. “You like him.”

“He’s my friend.” I tried to sound casual, but Fell didn’t believe me. He caught my gaze and offered me a disbelieving expression. I kept forgetting that he can read me like an open book. “What?”

“You like him more than a friend. Admit it, you have a crush on Alec Lightwood.” When I shrugged my arms, he continued to stare at me. “I’ve known you my whole life, Magnus Bane. I know when you’re into someone.”

“But he’s not into me. He has a girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry,” His voice sincere, as we turned towards the entrance of the school. “You seem to like him.”

When we came into the classroom, Alec was already sitting at his usual desk, at the front with Danielle Lawson. As I passed by him, he smiled shyly at me, blushing madly. He looked so cute then, making my heart skip a bit. ‘Magnus you just have to stop thinking about him in such manner’, I scolded myself in my mind. Alec Lightwood is off the limits!

Or so I thought.

…

Riding in Alec’s car wasn’t easy. It wasn’t because of the horrible music he listened to so often. It wasn’t because of the flower scent that floated around the car. It wasn’t even for the bit broken AC. No. The real problem was Alec’s handsomeness and cuteness, whenever he cringed his nose, as other drivers were driving too fast next to us. Alec was a very careful driver, that’s for sure.

We were having small talk about today’s day at school.

“I’m telling you, that woman couldn’t take her eyes off of me. It’s creepy.” I was speaking about Mrs. Ashdown, our English teacher, as I recalled the situation from the morning.

“I think she wants something from you. Maybe she wants you to be involved in a new school play?” Alec guessed, as he parked the car before his house. “She did ask you to play the main role. Maybe it’s her way to persuade you. You know, I’ll glare at you until you finally say yes.”

“You may be right,” I agreed with him, as he let me go in first. At the bottom of the stairs, I saw a forty-year old woman, wearing a deep gray jacket and knee-length dress. Her black heels were shiny, so they must have been polished not so long ago. “Hello, Mrs. Lightwood.”

“Hello, Magnus,” she smiled genuinely at me. “You will stay for dinner this time?” I nodded culturally as Alec led me towards his room. “Have fun, boys.”

As we were upstairs, we started to work immediately. Today, it was Geometry. As Alec began to explain the topic, my eyes wandered up to his face on their own accord. From time to time, Alexander looked at me so intensely, almost like he was stripping me in his mind. This thought sent a wave of warmth through my body. I felt a wave a desire to push the books off of the bed, throw myself on Alec and pin his body with mine to finally crush my lips over his. Yet, I couldn’t do it.

* * *

 

The young, redhead girl knocked lightly on the door. She hasn’t been in this house for a while now. She wondered if anything had changed.

“Ellie!” She was greeted by Maryse Lightwood. The older woman took her in her arms and hugged her lovingly. Through the past few years, Maryse became almost family to her, and vice versa. “What are you doing here, sweetheart? Are your parents here as well?”

“No. Mom is shopping with Aunt Lucy. I decided to visit you, since we were here anyway.” Ellie walked inside and let Maryse close the door behind her. “Is Alec home?”

“Upstairs, with Magnus. They’re studying. I’ll go tell him.”

“I’ll go by myself,” She held the woman back and ran upstairs herself. Yet, before she walked in her best friend’s bedroom, she barged inside the other room. “Hey.”

“Ellie, hi.” Isabelle Lightwood was clearly confused by her presence. “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see how your brother is fixing his love life.” Isabelle smirked at those words. She always liked Ellie. She came to liking the girl, from the very first day she had met her back in the hospital, while Alec had been there. Both girls bonded soon, maybe not so much like Ellie and Alec, but they were good friends as well. “So? How’s it going? Did they do something interesting?”

“They’ve been studying for the past two hours.” Lightwood girl informed her with a bored expression.

“Really? He has such a hottie inside, and they’ve been just studying?” Ellie sighed loudly, hand running through her long locks. “Do we have to do everything for him?”

“What do you have in mind?” Isabelle looked very interested, as she moved herself closer to the other girl on the bed. “Ellie?”

“You hold Alec downstairs, and I’ll have a small talk with the hottie inside.”

Ellie Baker wasn’t ordinary girl. She was far from it. She was wild, unpredictable, always said what’s on her mind, not afraid of anything. She wasn’t even afraid of the leukemia she had been sentenced with three years ago. That was how she had met Alec Lightwood. They were both in the same child’s wing in the hospital, their rooms next to each other. Although, they had met on the first therapy session. Ellie remembered that day like it was just yesterday.

She had walked in the room 303, and took a seat on one chair standing in the circle. Alec had been sitting down next to her. As Ellie had taken off her hoodie and had revealed her shaved head to everyone, younger kids were looking at her like some odd creature, but Alec wasn’t. He hadn’t had the pity look in his blue eyes either, like her family had. As they had bonded so quickly, the boy had shaved his head off in a gesture of solidarity. From that moment, they had been inseparable, always together, always supporting each other.

Ellie and Isabelle separated in front of Alec’s bedroom door. The black haired girl walked quickly downstairs, almost running, which made Ellie smirk. She knew Isabelle wanted her brother to become happy, and apparently this Magnus Bane could be his potential happiness. Ellie barged inside Alec’s room, and caught the two boys studying.

“Ellie? What are you doing here? ” Alec asked in a surprised tone, as he jumped off of his bed. He came closer to the girl and drew her into his arms, squeezing the life out of her. Above his shoulder, Ellie looked better at the other boy. Magnus Bane was truly handsome. His beauty was exotic, intriguing, hot. When she and Alec stopped hugging, she smiled at Magnus. “Ellie, please meet, this is Magnus.” Alec gestured at the other boy. “Magnus, please meet, this is Ellie.”

“Magnus Bane, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Magnus shook her hand lightly, smiling slyly.

“Ellie Baker, it’s nice to meet the famous Magnus Bane. I’ve heard a lot about you,” She smiled wickedly when Alec’s cheeks turned crimson. “Have I interrupted you?”

“No,” Magnus answered, before Alec had a chance. “We can finish it some other time.”

“No,” Ellie waved her hand off. “I’m here only for a moment or two. Mom’s shopping, so I decided to come and see Allie-cat.” Magnus smirked at the nickname. “I’ll be off soon.”

She sat down at the edge of the bed, and looked at Alec.

“Bring me something to drink, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll be right back.” He responded, looking between the both of them. When Alec closed the door behind himself, Ellie spotted that Magnus’s eyes were still glued to him. She bit her lip down, before she spoke out again.

“Isn’t he one handsome devil?”

“Yes, he is very beautiful.”

* * *

 

“Yes, he is very beautiful.” The moment those words left my mouth, I realized what I had done. My eyes opened themselves wide, waiting for Ellie’s words of hate towards me. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it!”

“Why? It’s true. He is beautiful, well handsome.” She was smiling at me. Not ripping my eyes out for checking out her boyfriend. I was confused by that. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have said it out loud. At least not in front of you. I’m sorry,” I repeated myself, this time looking up in her green eyes. She was confused, looking at me questioningly. “I’m not trying to come between the two of you. And for sure, I won’t try to steal him from you. I promise.”

“Steal him from me?” Ellie moved herself closer and grabbed me by my wrist. She stared into my eyes for a while, before she decided to speak again. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, you’re his girlfriend…”

“Wait!” She cut me off, squeezing lightly my wrist. “You think I’m Alec’s girlfriend? Like, his love interest?” I nodded to this, being lost at her words. This situation was strange and slightly awkward. “Who told you this?”

“Alec.” Ellie face-palmed herself, after she let go of my wrist. Then she started laughing, which made me feel stupid at that moment.

“What an idiot,” she gasped after what it seemed like forever. She shook her head and took a deep breath. “I’m not Alec’s girlfriend, not in the way you’re thinking. I never was. I’m his best friend, that’s all.” Ellie explained, moving her right leg onto her left, covering her thigh with the edge of her green dress. “He would never be interested in me this way, even if looked like Scarlett Johansson. Well, maybe if I looked like Tom Hiddleston then maybe, though he likes  a more exotic look, so maybe Godfrey Gao.”

For a moment I was lost at her words again, not quite understanding the meaning. Yet, I hadn’t had enough time to ponder more about it, before Ellie decided to voice more questions.

“What exactly did he tell you?”

“That you two are really close and that he loves you very much.” Once again, she shook her head.

“Idiot. A plain idiot.” It was that moment, when my brain sorted out all of her words into sensible wholeness. Everything was laid out before me like a decoded mystery.

“He likes boys.” Ellie just nodded to that with a relieved expression.

“Seriously, guys, no matter straight or gay, are so stupid sometimes,” She laid on the bed on her side and smirked at me. “So? What are you going to do now?”

“But the question is, does Alec like me?” There was a hope in my voice, as well as in my eyes, when I looked into her eyes. For a moment, we were consumed by silence, looking into each other’s eyes. I was hoping that she’ll confirm my wishes, but I was slightly disappointed.

“This is something that you must discover yourself.” I wanted to ask furthermore, but we were interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Alec walked inside the room, holding a tray with drinks.

I was looking at him, smiling genuinely. Alec was gay, and apparently single. So I still had a chance at wooing him and winning his heart over. This thought made my stomach fill with warmth, and my heart skip a bit. However this time, I didn’t have to muffle those feelings, I could soon act on them. And I couldn’t wait for it.

“Everything alright?” Alec eyed us suspiciously, as he placed the tray on the nightstand.

“Now everything is perfect, Alexander.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Did you like Ellie's and Magnus's little talk? Now everything is crystal clear, and let me tell you. Magnus will get back to flirting with Alec :D


	8. The state of a heart

**Chapter VII**

**„The state of a heart”**

I woke up in a good mood today. There was no nausea, no headache, no pain in my body. My sister wasn’t fighting with my brother about who was the one to get first in the bathroom. Mother wasn’t fussing about me. Max was just his lovely self, as he and dad were laughing during breakfast. I say, it was a truly great beginning of the day. I hoped it would last till the end of it.

“Are you having another study session with Magnus today, Alec?” Isabelle asked, during the ride to school. There would be nothing strange in the question itself, if it wasn’t for the way she said the word ‘session’, as if it was something almost dirty. I looked at my sister weirdly, at the same time as Jace growled, like he used to do whenever Magnus’s name was mentioned.

“Yes. I think so, although we haven’t talked in two days.”

“Is he really that stupid that you have to teach him?” Jace added his comment in a snarky tone, which I didn’t like one bit. I parked the car on our usual spot and turned around to him, as he was unbuckling himself.

“Why are you so against him? He hasn’t done anything to you.”

“I don’t want you to be involved with a school slut!”

The only thing that stopped me from punching my own brother at that moment was my buckle. But the furious look in my eyes was very obvious. Usually there was nothing that Jace could say that would make me almost shake with rage, but those words about Magnus put me in that state. Isabelle was reaching out  to touch me, but I just shook my head. I didn’t want to hurt her. As if on instinct, I felt that I needed to get out of the car, before I broke it. I shut the door loudly and tried to calm myself. With the corner of my eye I saw that Izzy was reprimanding Jace while pointing at me, but my brother seemed to not take her words in mind.

Finally, they both stepped out of the vehicle.

“First, Jonathan,” I used the name he hated the most. “I can choose my own friends.” I took two step closer to him to be face to face with him. I attacked his chest with my point finger and glared at him, calming myself a bit with long, deep breaths. “And second, do not, ever call Magnus a slut, again.”

“Or what?” sometimes Jace pushed me to my limits.

“Or I’ll forget that you’re my brother, and you’ll be very sorry.” With that, I left them both and rushed towards the school, so I could truly calm down before my first class, before I saw Magnus.

As I was standing before my locker, I wondered, why Jace hated Magnus so much. It wasn’t as if Bane’s reputation could be fully true. It had to be made up. Even if so, he shouldn’t have called him like that, knowing perfectly well, that I like Magnus.On  one hand, I knew that Jace was trying to protect me, I’d do the same, but that didn’t mean that he had the right to call Magnus a slut, especially in my presence.

I shut the door of my locker too hard, making it open back.

“Everything alright, Alexander?” The smooth voice of my crush caused me to jump a little in a surprise. I turned around and saw Magnus in his usual colorful attire. His hair was made up in spikes, some of them were pointed in the wrong direction, as if he had done them in a rush. Yet, he still looked handsome, especially when he smiled so lovely at me.

“A little spat with my brother, nothing new.” Magnus closed my locker for me, winking at me. “Thank you.” My cheeks were burning again, as he looked so intensely at me, like he was trying to see whatever is inside of me. I dared to eye him back and then I spotted something interesting. “I see you’re free from your cast.”

“Finally! I won’t feel like some Disney damsel in distress.” I couldn’t not laugh at this. A cute image filled my mind with Magnus in a Princess Aurora dress. I tried to think of something else, before my cheeks betrayed me and my dirty mind.

“That’s go…good.”

When we were sitting in the class, me with Danielle and he with Catarina Loss, I couldn’t stop glancing at him from time to time. Whenever I did it, Magnus winked at me, smiling all the time, like he had done in the first days of our friendship. When the teacher turned her back to us, I fished out my phone and texted Ellie, to find out what she had told Magnus last night. She refused to tell me what when I called, after dropping Magnus home, but now she had to tell me.

‘Be happy that he’s flirting with you again. And this time, don’t tell him you love me, moron!’

Ellie had to have told him something, but still I wasn’t sure what it was. Her text was a mystery to me. I just hoped that she hasn’t revealed my feelings towards him.

Later that day Magnus had a talk with the Math teacher. I couldn’t help but wonder about the reason. Was his situation truly terrible? Or maybe he was making progress? I texted him that I was waiting by my locker, so he could come and find me after he was be done.

“Alec! Alec!” I turned around when I heard his voice, and spotted him running towards me.

“Don’t run!” I scolded Magnus, remembering that only yesterday he still had his cast on. “You may break your leg again!”

He just waved me off.

“Don’t care, just look.” He brought up a sheet of paper in front of my eyes. At first I saw just some letters and circles here and there, but then I spotted the big, red letter at the top. “I got B+, Alec!”

“Congratulations, Magnus. I knew you could do it.” He beamed at me so widely, making me feel warm inside. I was proud of him in that moment, proud of his brain.

“It’s all thanks to you, Alexander. You are my hero!” Suddenly, he threw his arms around my neck and drew me close to his chest. For a second I was too astounded to do anything. It was almost as if one of my dreams had come true. I dared to do the same, like in my dream. I circled my arms around his waist and hugged him back, though it turned out to be a bit awkward as my hands were moving up and down his back. Nevertheless, it felt amazing to finally feel it for real. I was lost in his arms, feeling like I was on cloud nine. There was a desire for it to last forever in my heart. Unfortunately, Magnus had some other thoughts. He pulled away, but we still remained close to each other. “Thank you, darling. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You could. You are smart, Magnus. I know this, and now the teacher knows it as well.” I stated firmly, as I picked up my bag from the floor. “You are a really good student, Magnus.”

“Only for you, my lovely teacher.” The way he looked at me, made me feel hot inside. It was like he was stripping me in his mind. I wouldn’t mind if he did it even for real. As if on a cue, my cheeks were burning, I had to be cherry red on my face then, because Magnus rose his left eyebrow at me. The cat-like-eyed boy licked his lips, which awakened in me the desire to kiss them, before he opened his mouth again. “There’s this party tonight, at Ragnor’s. I’d like you to come, Alexander. We can have some fun, relax after the hard studying. So, what do you say, darling?”

“Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Please? Come, for me?” He batted his long eyelashes at me, which was my undoing. He looked so utterly cute at that moment, that I couldn’t turn him down.

“Ok. I’ll come.”

“Yes!” Bane squeaked in delight, before he leaned down to kiss my cheek. “I’ll see you later, darling!”

I stood dumbfounded for at least ten minutes, smiling like an idiot in the middle of the school hallway. My crush kissed me for the second time and invited me to spend some time with him. I couldn’t wait for it.

Later at home, I was sitting in the middle of my bedroom’s floor, with my all clothes surrounding me. I haven’t been at any party for three years now. When the leukemia was discovered in my system, mom reasoned with me that I should think of my health as a priority. Even though she hadn’t forbidden parties at all, the tone she used whenever she spoke of my illness, made me realize that it would upset her if I risked it, doing something stupid at parties. In the end, I stopped going to parties with my siblings, not that I was a big party-guy before. But I liked to go from time to time to feel free, normal, healthy.

I was feeling fine now, and I wanted to go. I wanted to see Magnus in his world, to see him smile, laugh like he had been with his friends today at lunch. I wished to make him laugh like that as well, to make him smile, like he’s making me so often lately.

“What’s with the clothes?” suddenly Jace’s voice interrupted my thinking. I looked up at him. Jace had his golden eyes set on me with wondering. “Are you going somewhere? Or maybe you decided that you indeed are in need of new wardrobe, like Isabelle has been telling you for years?”

“I’m going out tonight.” I went back to roaming through my clothes. The dark grey long-sleeved shirt looked quite new and good. I could possibly wear it with black, ripped on the knees jeans and my leather jacket.

“Where? And with who?” Jace interrogated me, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Why do you care? You’re not mom.”

“But maybe mom would like to know where you’re going.” His pointed look was telling me that he won’t give up until I tell him. I sighed loudly with resignation.

“I’m going to a party. To Ragnor Fell.” Jace narrowed his eyebrows at my words. “I was invited.”

“By who? By Magnus? ” I nodded to his conclusion, working on straightening the shirt I picked out. “Oh, I’m going too. There’s no way I’m going to let you go in the devil’s den all by yourself.”

“Wha…” I wasn’t able to finish the sentence, before Jace hollered through the hallway.

“Isabelle! Put some nice clothes on, we’re going to a party!”

This is how I ended up going to the party, to meet with my crush, with my siblings and their love interests. I just hoped Magnus wouldn’t throw us out because of it.

An hour later, we were standing on the porch of Ragnor Fell’s house, knocking hardly at the door. A sudden feeling of nervousness filled me. It hit me hard then, that I was about to find myself in the same room as my long-time crush, and we were going to be surrounded by many people. What if someone sees that I’m into Magnus? I wasn’t ready to reveal my sexuality in public. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I’d be ever ready.

There was a slight pang of desire to run back home, but then the door was opened, revealing Woolsey Scott.

“What are you doing here?” He eyed us with hatred, blocking the entrance with his arm. “Now, Clarissa and Isabelle I could let in, but the rest of you, run along, losers.”

“You better take those words back, or I’ll…” Jace stepped inside, but before he could do anything serious, I held him back with my arm around his chest.

“You’ll do what, Lightwood?”

“Get lost, Woolsey,” we heard Magnus’s voice. It was soon followed by his body, as he came to stand in the entrance, shoving Scott to the side. He gestured at us to walk in and sent his friend a knowing look. “I invited them here. They are my guests.”

“Does Ragnor know about it?”

“He does, and he is okay with this. Hello,” said boy walked towards us and nodded his head at us. “Come inside and have fun. Drinks are in the kitchen.”

Isabelle, Jace, Clary and Simon followed the owner of the house inside. I couldn’t do the same, as I was held back by Magnus’s hand over my right wrist. He dragged me towards another room, which was less occupied as most of guests were dancing in the main room, or drinking in other parts of the house. We sat down at the loveseat before the old, not-working fireplace. He grabbed my hand in his and stroked it gently. I was glad that the lights in this room were dimmed, otherwise, Magnus would have seen how madly I was blushing at that moment.

“I’m so happy that you came, Alexander.”

“Alec,” I corrected him instinctively, even though I knew that he wouldn’t start calling me by the shortened version of my name. “And I’m glad that I came.”

Magnus put the single strand of hair behind my ear.

“Oh, there’s the lovely blush,” He laughed, but not in a disrespectful or sarcastic way. “It’s truly amazing.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“I find it cute and sexy,” then, there was the flirty tone and wink again. In that very moment, I believed that we were back to the relation we shared before all that mess. “Come on,” He jumped off the seat and dragged me up with him. “Let’s dance.”

“Oh, I can’t dance.” He cooked his head to the left, waiting for my explanation. “For real, I can’t. I don’t know how. One time Ellie made me go with her on a school dance and force me to dance. I’m a total klutz in this, her words not mine.”

“I can’t believe it. It can’t be that bad. Not with the body of yours, Alexander,” Magnus eyed me from head to toe, nodding at the end. “Well, then are you up for a drink?”

“Oh, I’m not drinking. I can’t.” I said too quickly for my liking. I didn’t want to reveal my illness to him, so I had to come up with some fast excuse. “I don’t like alcohol. Makes me too dizzy and sick and…”

“I was thinking about some soda.” To that I nodded, and Magnus left to get us our drinks. Not so long later, he was back with two cans. “Would you wait for me for five minutes? I promised Tessa that I’d dance with her at least once, and she has started pestering me.”

“Yes, of course. Go have fun, Magnus.”

When he went to the main room, I moved there as well to observe him in his world of parties. He was moving incredibly. The way his hips were moving to the beat of music, was making me wish that it was my hands over his hips, not Tessa’s. I wanted to touch him, to feel his body against mine. But, my mind was holding my desires back with the fear of being exposed. Not only to Magnus, but as well as to the rest of the world. My family knew about my sexuality, but I wasn’t ready to reveal that to the kids from my school. I didn’t want to be ridiculed like that boy had been, two years ago. When he came out at school, after he fell in love with the school’s best musician, Darren Farrow, he was ridiculed by almost half of the school. The boy was lucky that he was in his senior year, the bullying only lasted for four months till the end of the year, but still, it was too much. I wouldn’t survive something like this.

Sometime later I looked down at my watch, as Magnus was now dancing with Catarina Loss. The watch showed that it was past eleven pm. It was time to go back if I didn’t want my mother to go gray with worrying. Although she trusts me, she keeps worrying about me all the time. I found my siblings to tell them that it’s time for us to go, but they wanted to stay and have more fun. Clary and Simon promised to take them safely home.

When I was at the door, mere seconds from opening it, I felt a hard tug at my wrist, which made me stop in my tracks.

“Where are you going, darling?” Magnus’s sweet and slightly intoxicated voice reached my ears. I turned around and saw him, smiling with eyes sparkling.

“I’m going home. I promised to not be too late.” Magnus nodded at that, reaching his hand for his white jacket, which was hung near the door.

“I’ll walk you back home then.”

“It’s not necessary. I’ll be fine.” I said in a lower tone, as he was only standing a foot from me.

“Nonsense.” He waved me off, opening the door and rushing me outside. “I can’t have something happen to you on your way back. I would be a terrible gentleman, and let me tell you, I am one.”

“Alright.”

After I agreed, we made our way into the night. The walk was slow, filled with restful silence. The fresh, cold air was calming me, as I was feeling hot inside, because of Magnus being so close to me. For the situation to be perfect, like in one of my dreams, it only lacked us holding hands.

“Did you enjoy the party?” Magnus asked, as we stepped out of the metro.

“Yes, I did.”

“Me too,” he admitted after a second, taking a step closer to me. “Especially, after you came, darling.”

“Why are you calling me like that?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. It had been intriguing me for a long time now.

“It suits you, darling.” He winked at me, before he licked his lips. “Besides, I like you, Alexander.”

“I like you too, we’re friends.”

“Well, what I’m trying to say is…” Suddenly we stopped, since we were on the way to my porch. Magnus moved himself to stand before me. He grabbed my chin and raised it so I could look straight into his cat-like eyes. “I like you a little more than a friendly way, Alexander.”

For a moment I thought that I was hearing the angel’s bells, heralding my arrival to heaven. My crush was standing before me, looking deep into my eyes and admitting his feelings for me. If this was some kind of dream, please, do not wake me up, ever!

“Are you cold?” His question confused me. “You’re shaking darling.” Before I had time to respond, that indeed, I was feeling slightly cold, Magnus took of his jacket and put it over my shoulders. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” My cheeks must have been painted with a blush again, when Magnus smiled in his lovely way. He walked me towards the door to my house. Before I opened it, I turned to him once again. “I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Definitely.” I pushed the door open, but Magnus stopped me halfway. “Wait, Alec.”

“What is it?” Magnus took my hand in his again this night, and brought it up to his lips. He brushed a soft kiss over it.

“Will…um…will…” Never in my life had I witnessed Magnus Bane stuttering, especially in such cute way. “Will you go on a date with me?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?  
> The next one will feature their very first official date! Stay tuned.   
> I shall update the next one in next week, after I'll be done with my defense. Keep your fingers crossed for me on Wednesday :)   
> So to keep you interested, I'll give you a small spoiler. 
> 
> “A date? Like with…a boy?” Dad asked unsurely, gripping hard his knife, which he cut his sandwich with. “With this Magnus?”  
> “Yes.”  
> “Oh My GOD!!!” Isabelle squeaked so loudly, that mother had to scold her. “You’re going on a date with Magnus Bane! Magnus Bane!”
> 
> "Magnus put a single strand of my hair behind my left ear. Slowly, he moved his fingers on my jawline, brushing it gently. He looked deeply into my eyes, then on my lips, as if he was suggesting what he wanted."
> 
> So what do you think?


	9. Rendez-vous

**Chapter VIII**

**„Rendez-vous”**

From the very first minute I woke up this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking about Alec. His answer to the date made me feel so incredibly happy, that even the sign of raining outside couldn’t down my mood. Now, as I was standing before my open wardrobe, I felt a sudden nervousness.

I, Magnus Bane, the fashionista, didn’t know what to wear on my first date with Alexander Lightwood.

First date! That sounded so oddly cute in my mind. Hell, I was feeling like a thirteen-year-old boy again when I went on my first date with Caroline Smith, the sweetest girl in my class. And now, in eight hours I’ll be going on a date with Alec.

“So, what’s with the emergency?” Catarina barged inside my bedroom at precisely ten am., Tessa and Ragnor tagging along after her. She eyed me from head to toe, cocking her head to the left in confusion. I couldn’t blame her. There were rarely times when my friends had seen me like this. With no make-up, hair in a mess, my pajama pants on and an old t-shirt. “Magnus?”

“Are you sick?” Tessa asked with concern in her voice, as they sat down on my bed, shushing Chair down the floor.

“No. Though, I might be soon. Nerves are eating me alive.” They were even more confused now. I took three deep breaths, closed my eyes for a while to calm my beating heart, before I spoke again. “But on the other hand, I’m happy.”

“Where were you last night? You disappeared on us.” Ragnor decided to voice his question. “I was worried.”

“I walked Alec home.” He gave me a look, before he and Tessa motioned at me to continue. “And then I went home myself.”

“Since when are you walking Alec Lightwood back home?” This time it was Miss Gray who asked. “Is there something I don’t know?”

“You missed a lot, because of your sickness.” Cate commented, moving herself to sit more comfortably on my bed. “So. What happened after you walked him home? Did you kiss him?”

“Unfortunately no. But I asked him out on a date.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Ragnor interrupted us, getting up to stand before me. “Didn’t you say that he has a girlfriend? I strictly remember you telling me that.”

“You spend too much time with your boy wonder, Ragnor. You’re even talking like him.” Fell’s cheeks were pink in one second, at the mention of his current crush, Raphael Santiago. Although, Ragnor wasn’t blushing as cutely as Alec. “It turned out that Ellie isn’t his girlfriend, she’s his best friend and a girl. So Alec is single and today we’re going out on a date. And I need your help with this.”

“That’s new.” Cate looked at me with her blue eyes. I could see the joy in them. “What do you need help with?”

“For starter, I have no idea what to wear and where to take him.” At that their mouths were opened in shock. The three of them looked at me then between themselves then back at me. “Guys, please. I feel a little out on the sea here. I have no idea how to date. I’ve never been on a real date.” The cinema thing with Caroline didn’t count, it wasn’t a real date, at least that’s what I thought. “Oliver and Camille never took me on one.”

At the mention of my ex-boyfriend, Ragnor balled his fists and growled. He still hated his guts, but I couldn’t blame him. After all, he had hurt me badly back in the days.

“Hold your horses, Ragnor. It’s in the past,” I placed my hand upon his shoulder and squeezed it in a calming manner.

“That son of a bitch should rot in hell for what he has done to you. I swear, if I could lay my hands on him again, he’d be dead in seconds.” I shrugged my arms at this and returned to deciding what to wear. Maybe after I pick an outfit, the place will come to my mind easier. “Wear something nice, but not too smart. And nothing too colorful, you don’t want to scare him.”

I was shocked by Ragnor’s fashion advice. Usually it was me who advised my friends in fashion, not the other way around. I looked again at my wardrobe and decided to follow my best friend’s words. I picked out simple white skinny jeans and a purple shirt with the sleeves rolled up to my elbows. It would look nice enough, but not too much. When the attire was ready, I still had to think about the place.

“And where should I take him? ” I asked them hopefully, lying the clothes on the chair by the desk. “Some party?”

“I think Alec isn’t the party type,” Catarina commented and turned on my laptop. “Movies?”

“Too cliché,” This time it was Tessa who popped in her proposition. “Some bookstore?”

“No offence, Tess,” I shook slightly my head. “But we’re not in the nineteenth century, darling. I’m not wooing him with poems. I can’t write them.”

“Dinner then?” Ragnor offered, petting Chairman on the floor. “Or maybe not.” He added, as he looked up at two girls. “It’s too cliché?”

“You need to impress him, if you want him to stick around and like you. And you do want this, right?”

“Of course,” The speed that I said this with, was incredible. It was true. I wanted Alec to like me, I wanted it so badly. I needed to impress him, to woo him. Last night, I had an impression that he likes me as well, more than in a friendly way. Tonight I needed to make sure of his feelings. “So?”

“We’re doing it all wrong. We should think about Alec. What does he like, what is he like?” She addressed me, while scrolling through my computer, looking for god knows what  there.

“He’s lovely, a bit shy, so handsome. He loves listening to that horrible music, you know, rock.” All my friends were consumed in silence, pondering about the perfect place. Including me. It wasn’t as easy as it sounded. In fact, Alec wasn’t easy person, he was a mystery, waiting for me to decode it. I wanted to figure him out, discover every little secret that revolves around my pretty boy. But right now, I simply wanted to take him out somewhere and for him to be my boyfriend, if that was what he wanted as well.

“I got it!” Suddenly, Catarina’s loud voice interrupted my thoughts. She placed the laptop in the middle of the bed and beckoned us to come closer. When we saw the page she had opened and what it contained, I knew at that moment that was it.

“It’s perfect.”

…

Alec POV:

From the moment I woke up, I couldn’t calm my stomach down. Today I was going on my first date with my crush. It overwhelmed me, but in a good way. The smile was present on my lips for the whole morning, especially during breakfast.

“You’re unusually happy, big brother,” Jace pointed, before he put another spoon of chocolate cereals in his mouth. “Anything happened?”

“Yes, if you want to know, I’m going out on a date.” The clatter of spoons made my ears hurt. Not only Jace was shocked, but Izzy, dad and mom. Only Max smiled widely at me. “What?”

“A date? Like with…a boy?” Dad asked unsurely, gripping hard his knife, which he cut his sandwich with. “With this Magnus?”

“Yes.”

“Oh My GOD!!!” Isabelle squeaked so loudly, that mother had to scold her. “You’re going on a date with Magnus Bane! Magnus Bane!”

“Yes Izzy, and I need your help.” She was clearly shocked by my wish. “I have no idea what to wear. I’m sure I don’t even have appropriate clothes for a date.”

“I can lend you something,” Jace offered with annoyed tone. He didn’t like Magnus, but it seemed that he accepted me going out on a date with him. Though I was sure, he will interrogate me after the date, or worse, he will have a talk with Magnus, once he comes here. I needed to remember to be ready before seven to save my crush, so he wouldn’t run away from me like crazy.

“Your clothes won’t fit me now.”

“Am I hearing right? Are those heaven’s bells?” Izzy exaggerated, grabbing my hand in hers. “Are you asking me to take you shopping, Alec?”

I didn’t believe what I was about to say, but I confirmed it. I needed to impress Magnus, even if it was only with my looks for now. And for that I needed the best fashionista I knew in the world, a.k.a. my lovely, younger sister.

I was both terrified and excited when Isabelle dragged me towards the mall. I knew that I had to do it if I wanted to look good for Magnus, which I desired. But I never liked shopping. Usually my mother and sister bought me clothes, without me there. Yet, now, I was standing in the middle of some clothing store, lost like a puppy, while my sister roamed through the hangers.

“I didn’t expect him to ask me out,” I confessed to the phone, as I was talking with Ellie. Today, she was at her cousin’s wedding in Florence, which she begged me to go along with her, but mom said no to that. My health wasn’t perfect now, according to my doctor.

“I told you, he likes you as well.” The girl on the phone admitted. I could picture her smirking during it. “You should believe me more often.”

“Did he honestly think you’re my girlfriend? Like you know, romantic interest?” I asked, as finally her last words formed some sense in my mind.

“Because you told him you love me, and he did the math. Anyway,” I heard some shuffling in the phone. “Get lost, Drew. I’m talking to Alec. Anyway, honey-bee, where is he taking you?”

“I don’t know.” Suddenly Isabelle was standing before me with two shirts in both hands. One of them was white, long sleeved, dress-shirt. The other was a denim dark shirt. “He didn’t tell.”

“Well, wherever it is, remember, don’t do anything you don’t want to. Don’t let him force you, ok?”

“Force me to what? ” I inquired, not understanding her meaning.

“To have sex on the first date.” My cheeks were burning at this thought. How could she even consider such a thing?! I tried to open my mouth to say something, but I was too embarrassed. Fortunately, my sister saved me by snatching the phone out of my hand. She threw some clothes at me and pointed at the changing room, looking stern. For the first time, I had no objection to her bossing me around, and I skipped towards the pointed direction.

While I was trying out the outfit, I heard Izzy talking to Ellie about my love-life.

“Isabelle! I can hear you!” Apparently, she didn’t hear me, because she was still gossiping with Ellie.

I decided to focus on the outfit Isabelle had picked out for me. I had to admit, she knew what she was doing. Black, ripped jeans, not too skinny, which I was glad for. To that, she had chosen a simple red t-shirt, at which I cringed my nose, and a denim shirt with long sleeves, so I could roll them up. I had to say, I looked rather good in this. Isabelle approved of this as well, snapping a picture for, I assumed, Ellie.

Now as the outfit had been bought, I only had to wait until seven for Magnus to show up. Only two hours until my possibly perfect night.

Before Bane came to our home, my mother came to my bedroom. Maryse Lightwood was a stoic woman, some may say even cold-hearted, but inside the house, while talking to her children, she was a different woman. She was heartedly, loving, caring.

Mom sat down on the bed right next to me, and took my shaking hand in hers. She could easily tell that I was stressed.

“You’ve grown so fast, Alexander. You were just my little boy not so long ago, and now you’re dating.” She sighed with a trembling voice. “Before I know it, you’ll get married and have kids and leave your old mother.”

“First, mom, I’m eighteen. I’ve grown up for a while now. Second, wedding and kids aren’t really an option in my case. I’m gay.” She nodded to that. “Besides, it’s just one date. No need to plan my marriage so soon.”

She just laughed for a moment, before her face showed nothing but worry.

“How do you feel, Alec?”

“Good, mom.” I patted the top of her hand. “You have nothing to worry about. I feel fine. Doctor Anderson said that she hasn’t found anything strange in my blood so far.”

“Remember, if you start to feel unwell, call your father or me and we will pick you up. No matter the time or place, ok?” I nodded to this, smiling ghostly. “Does Magnus know about your illness?”

“No. We’re not dating yet, like seriously dating. He doesn’t have to kn…” I didn’t have a chance to finish, as I heard the doorbell. I jumped off the bed, while still holding mom’s hand. I heard him talking to my father downstairs, simple small talk. Everything would have been alright, if I hadn’t heard Jace’s voice somewhere downstairs. I needed to go there.

“Go, save him from your father and brother. And have fun, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, mom.” I kissed her forehead and ran as fast as I could downstairs, only to be astounded by Magnus Bane.

He looked amazing in his outfit. His hair was put in spikes as usual, but this time they were highlights-less. His makeup was minimal, only a small black line on the eyelids. He was beautiful.

“Hello, Alexander,” He smiled at me, eyeing me from head to toe.

“Hi,” I was blushing, especially, when my father was observing us from the corner of the hallway. “Do…um…do I look okay? I mean good for the place you are taking me?”

“You look fantastic.” Magnus gestured with his hand to the outside. “Shall we?”

The whole way to the unknown place, Magnus was keeping me in the dark. He didn’t even reveal the smallest thing. He just walked, next to me, almost so close, it was easy for him to grab my hand in his. Yet he didn’t it. I tried to build the courage to do it myself, but then, we were at the destination of our date.

Never in my whole life would I expect Magnus Bane to take me to an open-air concert of alternative music. It was unlike him; he wasn’t a fan of such music. In fact, he was the opposite, as he showed me once in my car. Yet, now we were standing here, side by side, and he even shook his head to the rhythm.

“You’ve seen me in my world. Now it’s a time for me to see you in yours.” He whispered in my ear, making my body shiver at the tone. There was something in it, which formed a nice vision of Magnus in my mind. The one in which we were kissing, not a kiss on cheek, but the real kiss.

The music was amazing. I recognized some of the local bands. The air wasn’t too cold. There weren’t many people here, which was good for me. I had never been a fan of crowds, nor did I want the world to know about me and my sexuality.

Suddenly the sounds turned to light ones, and Magnus spoke for the first time in a while.

“I know this song! ” It had gotten only better later.

Magnus started to sing along with the band. At first I didn’t recognize the song, but the moment he got to the chorus I knew it. He was singing Start of Something Good, and it sounded so incredible in his voice. Bane was looking directly at me, as the words were escaping his mouth. He was singing for me, and I think that the people here realized that as well. At some point, the band let him sing alone, encouraging him with clasps. I was mesmerized by his voice. The way he sang made me feel butterflies in my stomach, my knees shaky and my heart beating faster. I have never felt like that. But I liked it. Trying to hide my huge blush, I smiled at him widely. I saw happiness in his eyes. Magnus finished the song with the band, and the people here were giving him a huge applause wanting an encore from him, but he politely declined and moved towards me.

“Did you like it?” I couldn’t muster any word, being too overwhelmed by this. Instead, I simply nodded, as he finally took my hand in his and intertwined our fingers. “That’s good, because I sang it for you.”

“You have such a beautiful voice.” The moment the compliment left my mouth, I felt myself blush again.

The rest of our walk through the park was hand in hand. Strange how they fitted together, like they have been made for each other. It felt so right. Another stop of our date was a simple dinner in a small, cozy restaurant. I’ve been grateful to Magnus, that he didn't choose too crowded places. It seemed that he knew a thing about me. I was surprised that it was Ragnor who was serving us tonight. At first I was slightly terrified by that. Friend or not, he could tell in school about our date. After Magnus put an order for us, he assured me, that Ragnor won’t tell anyone about us.

As the dinner went, we were having small talk again, about our plans for the future and such. After a nice dessert, simple strawberries with whipped cream and chocolate sauce, we got out of the restaurant.

The walk back was hand in hand again. Even though it was the second time he held my hand like that, it still felt so incredibly amazing. His hands were smooth, unnaturally warm opposite to my cool one. It felt so right to walk like that, like we’ve been doing it for years, like it was a natural thing for us. I loved this feeling.

“Will you show me your works? ” I asked him, after he revealed that he loves to draw.

“Maybe one day, if you’re good.” I had no idea, why every look of Magnus made me warm all over my body. “So, any other dreams, besides being a lawyer?”

“I always wanted to go to Paris.”

“You have never been there?” I shook my head at this. “It’s a beautiful place. But it’s even better, when you’re there with the person you love.”

Before I noticed, we were standing on my porch, gazing into each other’s eyes, still holding hands. The moment was magical. Stars were shining above us on the dark-blue sky. The light of the moon was casting over Magnus’s perfect face, making him glow and even more beautiful than he already was.

“I had fun tonight, darling.”

“Me too,” I whispered the answer, biting my lip.

Magnus put a single strand of my hair behind my left ear. Slowly, he moved his fingers on my jawline, brushing it gently. He looked deeply into my eyes, then on my lips, as if he was suggesting what he wanted. He leaned down cautiously, checking to see I’m not backing out from what could possibly happen in seconds. Dear God, I didn’t want to back out, even though I had no idea how to kiss.

I never expected this to be so amazing, when our lips touched for the first time. Magnus’s lips were soft, just as I imagined them to be. His hot breath was caressing my lips. The kiss was slow, gentle, as if Magnus was leaving to decision to me if I wanted something more. Yet, as much as I wanted it, I had no idea what to do. I have never been properly kissed before. Suddenly, my lips started to move on their own accord, trying to move along to Magnus’s. The kiss turned out to be even better then. It sent shivers down my spine, made my knees weak.

When Magnus pulled away from me, after what seemed like forever, we both were in a similar state. Both flushed and panting like crazy.

“Wow…” it slipped out of my mouth.

“Indeed, wow,” Magnus licked his lips seductively. I had to mentally restrain myself from jumping him then and kiss him again. Bane circled his arm around my waist and drew me closer to himself. I could feel his muscles underneath the shirt. There was a thought in my mind then. I wanted, no, I desired to touch his body. One more time he pressed his lips to my cheek in a lingering kiss. Then, he whispered in my ear. “Goodnight, my darling Alexander.”

“Goodnight,” I sighed out, closing my eyes. It all felt like a dream to me. A beautiful dream that I didn’t want to wake up from. When Magnus drove off, I went into the house, grinning widely. Mom and Isabelle were waiting by the foot of the stairs. I closed the door behind me and leaned on them with a happy sigh.

“How was it?” In a second they were before my eyes, urging me to tell them everything.

“It was perfect.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, I passed my defense. so now I'm Master in journalism and social communication, major in: advertising, promotion and being a spokesman. 
> 
> Now that I'm finally and ultimately done with school, I have more free time to rewrite mwaaf. So yeah, hopefully I'll be updating some more soon. 
> 
> Did you like the date? I hope you did. On the next one, we will set some relationship status :D  
> Comment if you feel like to.


	10. B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D.

**Chapter IX**

**„B.O.Y.F.R.I.E.N.D”**

Although Saturday night’s date was two days ago, Alec Lightwood still occupied my thoughts. I replayed every second of the magical evening in my mind. From the sweet smiles we exchanged in his house, in front of his father, through the hand holding. It was amazing. When our hands intertwined for the first time, I felt an electrifying shock ran through my body. I’ve never felt like this before. Then came the most wonderful moment of our date. Our first kiss. It was incredible. Soft, sweet, extraordinary. The kiss made my heart fill with warmth, it had been beating like crazy as well.

Alec had awakened some strange feelings in me, something that I had never felt before. Whenever our eyes met, I couldn’t help but smile widely at him. When the boy blushed in such a lovely way, my heart skipped a bit again. The realization that hit me this morning scared me. I think, I might be falling in love with Alexander Lightwood.

“Magnus? Wake up, honey.” Mom said lightly, as she walked inside my bedroom. When she laid her eyes on me, she was surprised. I couldn’t blame her. It was barely seven a.m., and here I was, dressed up, with make-up on and ready to go. “You’re ready?”

“Yes.” I said smoothly, or at least I tried to. Yet, my mom knows me better than I know myself.

“Is this about Alec? Are you meeting with him before school?” I shook my head, feeling my cheeks slightly burn at the mention of the boy. I didn’t understand what was happening to me then. “I think it’s about Alec Lightwood. I saw you last night, just when you came back home. You were smiling so broadly, darling.” She sat down next to me on the bed and grabbed my hand into hers. “You like him, am I wrong?”

“I do. Very much, mom.” She smiled widely at me, urging me to tell more. “I’ve never felt like this before. Do you think I could be in love with him already? He’s just so cute and smart and beautiful. Is this love? I’ve never fallen so fast for anyone.”

“Sweetheart,” Mom stroked my hair lovingly, as she used to when I was a little boy. “Love is different, for everyone. Sometimes, you fall in love at first sight, sometimes it takes years to feel love for someone close to you.”

“Did this happen to you and Roger?” She nodded sully. “Did you ever love him?”

“I did. I grew to love him. But when I married Roger, it was just an arranged marriage, my boy. But I loved…” she cut herself off, and shrugged her slim arms. “But the real question is, whether Alec feels the same about you?”

“I hope so. I hope that he likes me at least.” She patted my knee and got up from my bed. “Mom…do you miss him?”

“Who, sweetie?”

“Dad” We crossed our eyes, and I expected to see sadness in them or pain. But there wasn’t any.

“Not anymore, my love. Not anymore.” This sounded strange in my opinion, since I could recall that not so long ago mom cried because of father. And now, she smiled while saying she’s not missing him? It was at least odd.

Yet, I couldn’t ask her more, because we heard the doorbell ring. Ragnor had to be here. I offered to drive him to school today, since his father had taken his car for three days.

We were driving in silence, only the sound of my engine running was breaking it. I was driving too fast for Ragnor’s liking, yet, I couldn’t wait to get to the school. I needed to see Alec. I couldn’t comprehend the effect this boy had on me. Whenever I thought about him, my heart beat faster, my stomach filled with the strange warmth, my lips formed a wide, honest smile.

“I’ve never gotten to the school a half hour earlier than classes.” Ragnor’s comment got me out of thinking and I spotted that we’re only a meter away from the school’s parking lot. “Why so eager to come here?” I parked the car but didn’t answer him. “Oh! I’m so stupid. The reason is Alec! So, spill the beans, my friend. What happened after you left Atelier?”

“None of your business, Ragnor.” We got out of the car and moved towards Tessa. The girl was sitting on the bench, chatting with Catarina. Apparently I wasn’t the only one that got so fast to the school.

“Oh, come on! I don’t need the juicy stuff, just the basics.” Ragnor whined, grabbing my upper arm, as he led me to the girls. “Hey.”

“Hi.” They said in unison smiling at us, before Catarina spoke to me. “How was it on Saturday? You haven’t called me back, Magnus. And what were you doing yesterday? I texted, called, emailed you.”

“I was talking to Alexander.”

“So, how was it?” she repeated herself, looking eagerly at me.

“Perfect. Purely perfect.” I couldn’t help but sigh pleasantly at the memory of our Saturday date.

“You had sex with him? On the first date?” Ragnor concluded, looking partly shocked. “I didn’t expect Alec to be so…”

“Say one more word about him, Ragnor, and you’ll meet my fist very closely.” He rose his hands up in the air in the gesture of surrender. “I haven’t had sex with him. I can enjoy time with a boy without jumping his bones. I’m not a whore.”

“So, what really happened?” This time it was Tessa who asked the question.

“We just kissed. And it was incredibly amazing.” I bit down my lip and looked at them from under my lashes.

“Oh dear,” Ragnor exclaimed, with fake concern. “Girls. Alert everyone! Magnus Bane is in love and he will be utterly sweet to everyone! God help us all!”

“Shut up, Ragnor.” The three of us said at the same time, while Catarina smacked him on the back of his head.

“Ouch, woman!” Fell turned to her, sticking his tongue out. “This is domestic violence!”

“I’ll show you domestic violence, when I kick your ass.” They bickered a bit more, before Catarina slightly tilted her head to the right, while looking at me meaningfully. “We should go inside.”

I followed her gaze and spotted Alec walking towards the school’s entrance. His siblings trailed behind him, chatting loudly. When Alec’s eyes met with mine, the boy did as I expected. He blushed in a cute way, making my heart warm again. I waved at him, he waved at me shyly as well, before he took out a phone from his jacket. He pressed some keys and then looked at me again, as if he indicated that he had sent something to me. Which was correct, as a second later I felt vibrations in my pants.

_ ‘We need to talk. Lunch break. My car.’ _

This didn’t sound good. In fact, it sounded really, really bad. From everything I have read before, I knew that the phrase ‘we need to talk’ usually meant breaking up. But, could we break up before we started to be together?

Through all classes, I tried to not think negatively. There was no way that Alec could break up with me. He appeared to have enjoyed the date as much as I did. So that couldn’t be an issue. But then, what was it that he just wanted to talk about?

And if he wished to break up? Or if he wanted to remain just friends? I hoped for this to not be true. I wouldn’t be capable of being just his friend now. Not after that marvelous kiss. It would be too hard for me to have him close, yet not as close as I’d like to.

Finally, the bell announced the lunch break. I made my way towards his car with a heavy heart. Alec was already sitting inside. Before I got inside, I took three deep breaths to ease myself down.

For a long moment, we sat in awkward silence. None of us knew how to start the conversation.

Eventually, I got some courage and began talking.

“So? What did you want to talk about, Alexander? ” He didn’t even look at me, instead, he glared hardly at his interlocked hands. “Alec?”

“I don’t know what to think.” This made me slightly confused, so I waited for the explanation. “About Saturday. And the kiss. I don’t know anything now.”

“Darling…”

“What does it mean, Magnus?” he didn’t let me finish, turning his glassy blue eyes on me. “I’ve never been on a real date before. I haven’t been kissed before. I just don’t know what to think about all of it.”

“Sweetheart, but I know. Let me talk, okay? ” He nodded shortly, licking his lips. “Did you like our date?” He nodded again. “And the kiss?” He agreed with it as well. “I loved it too, every single minute of it.”

“But I don’t know, what to say. What do you expect of me now?”

“I don’t expect anything from you, Alexander.” He was confused by this. I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. There was fear in Alec’s blue eyes, mixed with confusion and something else that I couldn’t pinpoint. “I won’t judge you, just because you don’t know how to act. God knows, I don’t know how to act around you either. I’ve never felt something like this before. I like you, Alexander. Very much.”

“I like you too.” He answered shyly, offering me a small smile.

“And that’s what matters to me.” I rose my hand to his cheek and stroked it gently, causing a small blush on Alec’s pale cheeks. When our eyes crossed, I leaned slowly towards him, giving him a chance to decide whether he wanted it. Alec leaned in as well, and our lips met a halfway in a sweet, soft kiss. It was obvious that Lightwood was still new to this, as his lips were moving cautiously against mine. Yet, when he let himself be consumed by the kiss, it got better. He moved his hand over the back of my head and drew me closer to himself. Eventually we pulled away, both equally flushed. “You are an amazing kisser, Alexander.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Oh, yes you are,” I kissed the top of his nose, making him cringe cutely.

“So what now, Magnus? What are we doing here?”

“I’m not going to lie, Alec. I like you, and obviously you like me as well.” He agreed with this by a simple nod. “I don’t expect you to be perfect in whatever we will have. I’m not going to be perfect either. I know you’re not out in public yet and that you’re not comfortable with public display of affection at school, and I respect that. Look, it scares me as much as you. I’ve never fell for anyone so fast. But I want to try to be with you. You make me feel all those strange, but good feelings. And I just hope you don’t want to be just friends with me, that you’d like to be something more.”

“I don’t want to be just friends with you. I want more.” He admitted, looking deeply in my eyes, even though I knew talking about his feelings must be hard for him. “I want to try, but…I can’t promise you I will be okay with coming out at school. It will be…”

“You don’t have to be afraid.” Alec took his eyes off of me and looked at our clasped hands. “I will wait for you. I’m not going to force you to do something you’re not ready to. I wouldn’t hurt you like that. All I want is to try and build a relationship with you. I just want to be with you. Don’t you?”

“I want that too.” He breathed out, caressing my hand with his thumb. The small gesture filled my heart with warmth. “I want to be with you, Magnus.”

His answer made me happy, so I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward again and kissing him. This time, Alec reacted faster and in seconds, he kissed me back, almost taking the initiative of the kiss. When we pulled away, I bit down my lip and asked him the most important question.

“Will you become my boyfriend, Alexander?”

“Yes.” The simple three letters made my heart hammer with joy. I grinned at him when we were walking back to school, even though we weren’t holding hands.

At that moment, nothing mattered anymore to me, but the fact that Alexander Lightwood became my boyfriend.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B - boy   
> O - of  
> Y - your  
> F - fantastic  
> R - ridiculous  
> I - incredibly   
> E - epic  
> N - never ending  
> D - dreams
> 
>  
> 
> ..............................  
> Did you like it?  
> I decided to post today, since I'm very emotional after the latest episode of SH.   
> Anyway. Now they're official together, though not out in public yet. But fear not, they will get to that point too.   
> Comment if you feel like to,  
> Intoxic


	11. This tale of love

**Chapter X**

**“This tale of love”**

I was sitting with Ellie on the steps in front of Steve's house as we waited for the rest of our group to show up. The sun was shining bright, smacking our skin with its warm rays. The day was beautiful, just as the sweet text, I received from my boyfriend.

_ ‘Have a wonderful day, Darling :*’ _

“What are you smiling at?” She asked me, leaning over my shoulder to read the text. “Ah, your lover boy. So? How are you and your glittery soulmate?”

“We’re good.”

To be honest, we were more than good. We were fantastic, at least in my opinion. Magnus and I have been in a relationship for three weeks already and it has been incredible. Even though it happened so unexpectedly and fast, I felt great. I haven’t come out in school yet, and Magnus was very understanding about it. He hasn’t tried to persuade me into telling about it at school, and I was grateful for that. So far, only the closest people to us knew about our relationship. I was glad for this. I wasn’t near to be ready for it.

Despite this, everything was amazing. In such a short time we became so attached to each other. Whenever we weren’t together, we would call each other, text, email even. When we were together, in my or Magnus’s place, we held hands, laughed, watched movies, and my favorite part of our time, we kissed. For someone else, these could be the little things, but for me, they were magical. Something that made me fall for him more every day, which made my heart beat like crazy. I couldn’t stop hoping for this to last as long as it was possible. I wanted this fairy tale to never end.

“Ok, stop daydreaming, Alec,” Ellie nudged my side with her elbow. “Tell me more about you two.”

“We’re really good. Great even. It’s amazing. He’s so different with me.” I said lightly, biting my lip.

“Of course he is, honey-bee. He’s your boyfriend.” She replied with one of her snarky looks.

“It’s not that, El. It’s like he’s another Magnus with me. He’s not bossy, snarky, mean. He’s actually the opposite. He’s so loveable and sweet.” Ellie looked thoughtfully for a second, placing her soda can on the ground. “Do you think that he’s trying to impress me with this behavior?”

“Maybe? ” She said doubtfully, huffing lightly. “Or maybe that’s the real Magnus Bane.” When I remained silent, she continued with her conclusion. “Maybe the way he’s acting at school is the illusion, you know? An act to keep up with his reputation. You told me that his reputation is not so nice around your school.”

“Yes, almost everyone at school thinks of him as…” I lowered my voice to a whisper, as people had started to gather on the steps next to us, “a whore and a player.”

“It is not important what other people think. What’s important is what you think about Magnus. Do you think his reputation is real?”

I pondered about it for a moment. I didn’t believe in everything that goes around our school. Player he may be, but most definitely he’s not a whore. I refused to believe in this rumor. Indeed, Magnus has had a few partners already, and there were some stories about his one-night stands, but something was telling me that he wasn’t a real playboy. He was too sweet to be that.

“I think it’s a lie.” Ellie shrugged her arms in a response and got up, dragging me along with her, as our mentor got to the church.

“Well, you will find out eventually. Now let’s go. I bet Steve has something interesting to say this week. Just look at him.” She led me through the doors, yet she held us back to let others go into the room first. “But a fair warning, if he turns out to be a player and he plays you, he’ll be castrated by moi. You can tell him that.”

Before I had a chance to answer that, Ellie ran inside the room to grab our usual seats. Once everyone was inside, Steve, our mentor, started the meeting. At first, we spoke of our illnesses, in case there was someone new in the group who was looking for a person with the same disease. Then, we began to talk about our week. I was trying to focus on the stories, but then my focus was interrupted by my phone vibrating. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me before I took the phone out of my pocket and read the message from my boyfriend.

_ ‘I got to my grandma. I’ll call you tonight, Alexander. :*’ _

Then I heard Steve calling me by my name.

“Huh? ” I slipped the phone back into my pocket and looked at him slightly embarrassed. “I’m sorry, what was the question?”

“Ellie told us that you have a girlfriend.” I looked at her with eyebrows lifted in question. “What’s her name? Where did you meet her?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” At that, Suzy, a sixteen-year-old blonde girl smiled softly at me. I knew that she liked me, but I could never like her in that way. “I have a boyfriend. His name is Magnus.”

Even though we were all friends here, I didn’t know if someone was going to judge me for my sexuality. Yet, none of them seemed to do so. In fact, they were smiling, giving me thumbs up, even clapped for me. My cheeks were burning red, as they urged me to tell them some more about Magnus.

“We’re good.”

“That sounds great, Alec,” Steve commented, offering me a wide smile. “I hope you two will be happy together.”

“Me too,” I added silently, just to myself. I wished for us to be very happy.

When the meeting was done, I found my mother outside chatting with Ellie’s mom. They waved at us as we were marching towards them holding hands, as usual. Hm, then it hit me. No wonder Magnus just thought that Ellie was my girlfriend. To people outside, we indeed looked like a loving couple.

“Are you ready, sweetheart?” Mom asked as she bid her goodbye to Stephanie, Ellie’s mother. Today we were going to the hospital for the results of my latest tests.

“Call me later, Alec,” Ellie hugged me tight and kissed my cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too, El.”

* * *

 

As we were sitting in doctor Anderson’s cabinet, I dared to look at my mom. Her blue eyes were full of fear. I couldn’t help but be worried as well, especially after the doctor insisted on doing a second blood test. I wasn’t stupid, I knew she had to have found something in my blood if she wanted to confirm it with another blood test.

“Hello, Alec, Maryse,” she greeted us, as she walked into her room. As she sat down, mom grabbed my hand in hers. I squeezed it lightly to give both of us some reassurance. “I got the results. I was right to do it.”

“So, what’s the verdict?” I tried to joke a little, but I failed at this. Neither of the women laughed at this attempt.

“Alec you have a small rise of the lymphocyte,” I heard my mom holding her breath in. The last time we heard about the rise of the lymphocyte in my blood it caused me six months of chemotherapy. “But it’s not that much. It’s 45,1 %. And the normal concentration is 45% for an adult. So, for now, we don’t have to worry that much about it. I’m sure that it’s because of that cold you had last month. So now we leave it be, and wait to see the results of the next blood test.”

“Ok.” Mom and I breathed in relief, as she lessened her grip on my hand. “Anything else?”

“I will prescribe you some new vitamins.” She started to scribble something down on a prescription note. “Are you sleeping and eating well? You are paler than usual.”

“I do. I’m still on the diet you set me up. And I’m sleeping well,” I explained quickly, while she was nodding. “I’m working a bit more for school, but it’s nothing too hard for me.”

“Well. Remember to rest when you’re feeling tired and to take the vitamins.” Mom nodded at this, taking the prescription from her. She put it in her purse and stood up from the chair. “I’ll see you next month on your next blood test.”

“Goodbye doctor,” Maryse said to the other woman, as she led me out of the room. During the walk towards the car, she was on the phone with father, explaining everything the doctor said since dad was on a trip in Los Angeles.

When we got home, we were bombarded with questions from my siblings. I knew they were afraid, so I told them the basics; that I’m alright and they could loosen up. I called Ellie and told her as well, that I’m good and quickly hung up as I got a notification that Magnus was trying to reach me.

“Hello.”

“Hello, Darling.” His smooth, honey voice came through the phone. “How was your day?”

“It was good.” He mhm-ed to that, while I lied down on my bed. “How are you? How’s your grandma?”

Magnus had gone to Louisiana today, to celebrate the 60th birthday of his grandmother, Amiya. He had complained about going there since he didn’t like some of his cousins and aunts. Yet, his mother convinced him to go, even though this was his step-father’s mother. Despite the divorce of his parents, Magnus loved his grandmother.

“She’s great. Drunk already,” he giggled while saying this. “She got wasted with aunt Sophie and uncle Arno, and now they are signing some Indonesian songs, and I swear I know that language but I have no idea what they are singing about. But I do think it was something highly inappropriate since my mother abruptly squeaked.”

“So the party is going well,” Magnus sighed to my comment.

“It is, but I’m so bored here.” I could picture him scowling while saying this. “All of my cousins are so annoying. I wish I were back home already, darling.”

“You’ll be back tomorrow. It will pass before you know it.” He whined some more like he used to do so many times before.

“I know, I know. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane here, that I will see you in two days.” I blushed at his genuine tone. In fact, I couldn’t wait for him to be back as well. It was strange. Not only I couldn’t stop thinking about him, but I couldn’t help but long for him as well. I’ve never felt like this before, and on one hand, it scared me, but on the other, it excited me beyond reason. “I can’t wait till Monday.”

“Um…” There were no coherent words in my mind then, as I felt slightly embarrassed at the moment. I wanted to tell him openly that I missed him as well, but I feared that he may think that I’m clingy like some girl.

“How was your day, sweetheart?”

“I met with Ellie and some other friends since Mrs. Branwell called to cancel tutoring. She had to go to see her cousin or something.” His sound of acknowledgment was interrupted by some voice calling him by his name. “If you can’t talk now, I can call you back later.”

“No! Stay on the line, Alexander.” No matter how many times I tell him to call me Alec, he insisted on my full name. At least I should be grateful that he’s not calling me by my second name as well. “I’d rather talk to you on the phone for a whole night than interact with them and listen to their teenage love problems.”

It made my heart fill with warmth.

“You are a teenager as well, Magnus. You’re just eighteen.”

“I’m eighteen, I’m an adult.” This made me roll my eyes. “How’s Ellie?”

“She’s good. She says hi, by the way.” I replied happily, lying more comfortably on my bed. I felt that tiredness was taking over my body, but I didn’t want to end our conversation yet. I pinched my cheeks to wake myself up and blinked my eyes a few times. It will give me some more time before I close my eyes defeated by sleep.

“Say hi to her from me as well. Anyway, Alexander, I reached a conclusion today.” I was silent, waiting for the explanation of his words. “We must absolutely have to take a photo together. We have none, and I can’t show you off to my family. Of course, I showed your picture, but we have to have at least one where we’re together in it. Once I’m back, I’ll take my camera and we’ll take some cute photos, okay, sweet pea?”

“I’m not into photos so much.” Magnus laughed to that.

“The pictures on your wall say something else, honey. Just one, please, please, Alexander, please,” that was my breaking point. When his whining voice reached my ears, I easily visualized him with puppy eyes directed at me and a bitten down lip. Even if we haven’t been together for so long, Magnus Bane knew how to get me to do things. “Please?”

“Oh fine. We’ll take pictures, but only for you.”

“I swear on my heart, that I will keep your picture just for myself. You know…” He drawled in his flirty tone. “With the picture, I will finally have something to inspire my dreams about you.”

When I did not say anything, Magnus spoke up again.

“Are you blushing, darling?” Again, I remained silent, since he was right. My cheeks were burning at the thought that Magnus may have dreams about me, the kind of dreams that I’ve been having about him as well. “You are!” He squeaked in a joy. “Take a picture for me!”

“No!”

“Yes! Come on, Alexander. I bet you look so cute right now.”

“No way. I won’t let you laugh at me,” Magnus cut off his giggles and spoke in a serious tone again.

“I would never laugh at you, sweetheart. I just love seeing your blush, it’s adorable.” I thought different. My blushing problem was embarrassing. “I miss you,” Magnus whispered as if it was a secret between us. “Is that weird to you?”

“I miss you too,” before I could think my mouth decided to answer by itself. “But we’ll see each other on Monday morning.”

“But still, I wish that time went faster. I wish it was Monday already.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad.” Magnus obviously didn’t like my comment, as he sighed loudly. “I bet that you can have some fun there. Enjoy the view. It must be nice.”

“It is,” Bane responded lightly. “But I would enjoy it more if you were here. I would take you to the local forest for a walk. We would hold hands. I would kiss you under the moonlight, while you held me close to your body.” As I closed my eyes, I saw this scene in my mind. It was breathtaking. “It would be just you and me. It would be perfect.”

“Yes, it would be.” I couldn’t agree more with this.

“See? Now I’m missing you even more!” I yawned before I could reply to this statement. “I hear you’re tired, darling. Go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m back home. Sleep well, Alexander.”

“Goodnight, Magnus.” We hung up at the same time, and I placed the phone next to my bed on the nightstand.

I got up from the bed to go and take a shower. But before I had a chance to step into the bathroom, I heard my phone beeping, alerting me to a new text message. I grabbed it and opened a text from Magnus. But it wasn’t just a simple text. Once it loaded itself, I was met with a beautiful picture of my boyfriend. He was blowing a kiss to the camera, while his gold-green eyes were so full of sparks.

Underneath the picture was a small text, which made my heart beat faster.

_ ‘Sweet dreams, darling. Dream about me.’ _

Now I was sure I was going to dream about him tonight, just like every other night.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?  
> I hope you do since soon there'll be drama in this story.   
> Comments will be appreciated.


	12. The beat of my heart

**Chapter XI**

**„The beat of my heart”**

The theater room looked like it did before. Finally, after two weeks the teachers succeeded in restoring the place after Magnus, Woolsey and Ragnor’s devastation. Not that they knew about the two other boys. Now it was filled with many people from different classes, and between them I was sitting on the chair, cutting out the corona of the tree.

“Are you sure, he will be here?” Miss Blackwell, our drama teacher asked me, placing her hand over my biceps. “Alec?”

“He’ll be here any moment, Miss.” She nodded to my response and went back to her conversation with the other stars of our new play. Still, the name of the play hasn’t been revealed to us yet, but Miss Blackwell decided to engage the people she was familiar with, except for the male main role. She persuaded me to talk to my boyfriend since I apparently had some influence on him lately. Of course, she didn’t know that Magnus was my boyfriend, as far as I knew, everyone at school was seeing us as friends. Which I hoped it lasted as much as it could.

“Alexander,” I heard my name being said, surprisingly by a female voice. I turned my head to the right and spotted Lacey Huffners, a grade ten blonde, who was, as the rumor said, in love with me for two years already. I quickly looked around to see if my boyfriend was here, but I was disappointed. He couldn’t save me from the paws of Lacey. “I’m so glad you’re here. Finally, we will be able to play together as main characters.”

“I’m not starring in the play, Lacey.” She frowned, placing her hands on her hips. “I’m just working on the set, like last year.”

“If you’re not my partner here, so who…” Her words were interrupted by a loud shut of the door. Everyone in the room turned around and Magnus stopped in the mid-step. He eyed us suspiciously before he moved to the front of the room. “What’s he doing here?”

“Lacey,” Miss Blackwell came up to the stage, which Magnus just got on, and stood between Magnus, me and Lacey. “Magnus will be the main male character in this year’s play. Hello, Magnus. I’m truly glad that you decided to join us for this year.”

“In fact, I was ordered by principal Herondale to participate in the school play,” he responded sharply before his eyes landed on me. “Hey, Alec.”

“You’re joking, right?” The girl was looking between Magnus and Miss Blackwell. “Magnus Bane? And me? Is it April’s Fool today?”

“It is not a joke, Lacey.” The teacher stated firmly before she smiled at Magnus. “Gather around, people.” Everyone in the room looked at the woman. She was in her mid-thirties, with long, chocolate brown, curly hair, now put up in a loose ponytail. Her gray knee-length dress was old-school but clean and ironed. She wore big, rounded glasses with deep-red frames. “This year we will go unconventional. We will do something modern, something different.” I looked at Magnus then back at her. “We are doing West Side Story, a musical.”

…

After a brief talk with Miss Blackwell, Magnus walked towards me and sat down at the edge of the table, pushing the boxes to the other side. He slightly brushed my hand, which was placed very close to his right knee.

“So…” He started playfully, twirling a strand of his hair around his pointy finger. “If I’d known you’re so active in the school play, I’d have agreed to participate in it way sooner.”

“Oh, please,” I looked at him meaningfully, while I tried to keep my calm as he was still slightly brushing my hand. “You wouldn’t. I’m still wondering why you agreed to it. It couldn’t be just Mrs. Herondale’s order, right?”

“Well, that, and…” he leaned towards my left ear and whispered the rest of the sentence. “Your way of convincing me to give it a shot was very…interesting.”

“Magnus! Not here!” I hissed, feeling my face go warm at the memory of our last evening when Bane came over for studying session. As expected, we didn’t just study, we also made out on my bed, which was amazing. I loved the way he kissed me, deeply and passionately.

I had the courage to look at my boyfriend. He was smirking and wiggling his eyebrows at me in a suggestive way. Magnus was a tease, sometimes even to a point of embarrassing me, but I knew, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me intentionally.

“Oh, but you blush so cutely, darling,” Magnus looked like he wanted to say something more, but he was interrupted by Miss Blackwell’s calling for him. Once again I was left with my own thoughts, as I started to cut out the trees.

…

While Miss Blackwell was explaining the main parts of the play, my eyes went back to Alec. He was sitting down with his back to us, focused on his task. He looked so adorable,  being concerned with cutting the perfect shape of the trees.

“Will you finally pay attention to the script, Magnus?” Miss Blackwell’s voice brought me back from my admiration. She came closer to me and whispered into my ear. “You can look at Alec later.”

“Yes, of course,” I quickly replied and turned away from my gorgeous boyfriend.

The script was easy to learn. An hour later I had memorized the five first scenes which we were practicing today to see how we would fit in with the roles. As I gave more thought to it, I realized that I could have fun while playing in the play.

“Tony, what are we going to do? When my brother finds out,…he will kill both of us.” her voice was filled with fondness and fear. I have to admit that she was truly putting her emotions forward.

“Fear not Marie, I will not let him separate us,” I said, trying to look at her with some emotion but I didn’t feel it. “Nor my friends. I will fight for us.”

“And I will fight for us too,” she grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. “I love you. I may be young, but I love you, Tony.”

“And I love you, Marie.” Everything would be perfect if I could only get into my character. But I couldn’t grasp the feelings I should, none that Tony should have for Marie.

“Stop,” Miss Blackwell interrupted us and dragged me to the corner of the stage. Her expression told me that she wasn’t satisfied with my acting, and I couldn’t blame her. “I know you can do better, Magnus. I also know that Mrs. Herondale ordered you to participate in the play, but could you try to be better?”

“I’m trying, Miss Blackwell, but…” My eyes moved towards Alec, as he was talking with some boy from the crew. He was laughing lightly, his blue eyes sparkled with joy.

“Think about Alec.” Her words confused me. I looked back at her and noticed that she set her eyes upon my boyfriend. “When you’re playing Tony, think about Alec. Think that Marie is Alec. The way you look at him, with the passion, love, caring…this is the way I want Tony to look at Marie.”

I was thinking about Miss Blackwell’s words through the entire ride home. While Alec was driving, I wondered if she was right. Do I truly look at Alec with love? Is it possible for me to be in love with him by now? We’ve only been together for a month. Was it possible that I loved him already? I’ve never felt like this before, indeed, but was it love already? I wasn’t sure. I’ve never loved anyone like that. With Oliver, it was an entirely different set of feelings. Yet, now, whenever Alec was close to me, my heart was going crazy, my body got warmer, my knees got weaker when he set his blue eyes on me.

“Are you alright, Magnus? ” Alec asked when he parked his car in front of my house. When I looked at him, I could see the concern in his eyes. “You’ve been awfully quiet for a while now.”

“I’m fine, darling.” I leaned, to peck his lips. “You have nothing to worry about. Let’s go inside.”

Once we were in my bedroom, Alec immediately sat down on the bed and unpacked his backpack. He took out his math book and patted the empty space next to himself. Smiling wickedly at him, I shut the door and walked up to the bed. Alec’s blue eyes were following my every move with wonder.

“I think the books can wait, Alexander. There’re more pleasurable things I want to do at this moment.” Before he had a chance to react I jumped on my bed and pushed him flat. Alec let out a small squeak, but he didn’t me away. “I’ve been waiting all day to do it, the whole weekend.”

Alec’s lips tasted sweet, as always, like candy floss, or honey. They were chipped since Alec loved to wet his lips on the cold air, but the kiss was still enjoyable. It was slow at the beginning, but soon, Alec let my tongue inside, so we could french kiss. Lately, I found that he likes this way of kissing, which could mean that he wants to take it to another level of physical activity with me. Yet, I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of it, and I wasn’t going to risk forcing him to do something he didn’t want to.

When we pulled away, his cheeks were red, breath was shallow, like mine. No one else before has made me feel like this. It was both intriguing and scary at the same time.

“I missed this over the weekend, sweet pea.”

“Sweet pea?” He looked at me questioningly.

“I’m trying out some new nicknames.” He shook his head at my words.

“Sweet pea, no. Stick to darling, if you must.” At least he agreed to this cute nickname. Alec pushed me off of himself so I landed next to him and shoved the math book into my hands. “What? You need to study, Mister. You have an upcoming test in two days.”

“I know…” I couldn’t help but whine at this. “But math is so boring. I’d rather kiss you all afternoon.”

“As great as it sounds,” He started, looking pointedly at me. “You can’t fail the test, Magnus.” I knew that Alec was right, but it didn’t mean that I had to like this. “The faster you learn all geometry for the test, the sooner we can get back to kissing. Deal?”

“Oh, Alexander, you’re a little devil, you know. Deal.” We sealed it with a quick kiss. “First studying, then making-out, my sexy tutor.”

Three hours of boring math and fifteen minutes of a break for dinner prepared by mother, I closed Alec’s book and leaned on his lap. My boyfriend sighed loudly and set his notebook aside as well and looked down in my eyes.

“I’ve been a good student, Sir,” I smiled playfully, reaching for his hand and interlocking our fingers. “How ‘bout a small break?”

“Well, you’ve learned a bit today, so I can grant you a small brea…” before Alec had a chance to finish his sentence, I crushed my lips over his and pushed him flat on the bed. As much as ideal as it looks in movies, it actually isn’t in the real life. Our noses bumped and teeth clashed to the point of pain. Yet, neither Alec nor I broke the kiss. We only laughed into each other’s mouths.

Whenever we kissed, I could feel myself on cloud nine. My lips and body were melting with every second. At first, I kept my hands only at Alec’s hips, like usual, but after a moment I dared to take another step. Slowly, cautiously I grabbed the edge of Alec’s navy blue t-shirt and stopped for a second to give him time to stop me. Yet, he didn’t do it. He watched me warily, but he allowed me to place my hands on his body. His skin was slightly cooler than mine, but it was pleasant in touch. I didn’t dare to push my hand’ further up to actually touch his chest, but I drew my fingers over the slight muscles on his abdomen. I could only imagine how other parts of Alec’s body would be to touch.

I would wonder about it more, if it wasn’t for the extreme cold touch I felt at my spine. Instinctually I jerked underneath.

“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?” Alec’s voice reached my ears after I pulled away from him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” I assured him while holding his hand upon my spine. “You just have cold hands, baby. Give me a second, and I’ll get used to it.”

“Wow…” He breathed out, blushing madly, after our long make-out session. I was in a similar state, minus the blushing, which was odd. Either I was out of practice, or Alec could leave me without a breath.

“Well, my kissing skills used to be described better than that, but you’re so cute, that I’ll accept that wow.” Alec’s face was even redder. He put his hands over it, to try hide from me. “Oh, come on, sweet pea, don’t hide that adorable blush from me.”

“It’s embarrassing.” Alec let me pry his hands from his face to see his pink cheeks.

“It’s lovely.” I couldn’t help but peck him on lips. “Sweet, like my own personal candy.”

“You’re so weird,” Alec laughed through his embarrassment, but he bit his lip down. “But I liked it too, very much.” We kissed one more time, this time it hastened, yet sweet nonetheless. “We should get back to studying.”

“Open your mouth again, and I’ll study you.” Alec gave me a pointed look.

“You are supposed to learn math, not my anatomy.”

“But your anatomy is more interested than math. Besides,” I ruffled his hair. “If you open your mouth, I can study the length of your tongue, the volume of your mouth. See? All mathematical stuff.”

“Knowing that you won’t pass your test.” We didn’t have much time to bicker more, as Alec’s phone ringed with some hard-rock song I didn’t know. “Yes? Damn, what time is it? Yeah, I’ll pick you up in twenty minutes, ok? I’ll give you a ring when I’m near Clary’s place.” Alec hung up, and I knew it was the end of our study date. He smiled shyly at me before he spoke again. “I have to go. I need to pick up Jace from Clary and then I have to go to Max’s friend to pick him up. Sorry.”

“It’s ok, Alexander.” Before Alec went back, we kissed one more time. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Bye, Magnus. Bye, Mrs. Bane!”

“Bye, Alec!” Mom walked into the hallway and waved at my boyfriend. When we were left alone, after Alec drove away, she smiled at me and bumped my arm lightly. “I like him. He’s such a sweet boy.”

“You have no idea, mom.” She shook her head and walked me to the living room.

“Magnus Bane, even though I’m your mother, I refuse to know about what strange things you’re doing upstairs with your boyfriend. I just hope that you can keep it quiet, we have neighbors.”

“If that’s your smooth way to ask if I’m having sex with Alexander, then you’re doing it so wrong, mom,” I said, sitting down on the couch. “We’re not, yet. Alec isn’t quick to get me to bed. He respects me and I respect him. We studied for the exam. I think I’ll do well at it. Alec thinks so too.”

“He’s a good influence on you. You’ve changed, Magnus, for the better.” Mom kissed the top of my head and squeezed my hand lightly.

“He is great for me.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post today since I'm actually in a good mood. I got a promotion today and a raise of my salary, so it's good ;) Plus, today we'll get to see the new episode of Shadowhunters and there'll be a lot of #Malec. Are you excited? I am. Can't wait. Unfortunately, for me, it will air tomorrow morning on Netflix, so I must stop myself from checking out the Internet for any spoilers.


	13. A crack on a perfect picture

**Chapter XII**

**„A crack on a perfect picture”**

Preparations for the school play were very intense. Lately, I’ve had only so little time to spend with my boyfriend, since he was always busy with rehearsing, trying on costumes, working on songs. Indeed, thanks to me, although I was scolded by him for it, Miss Blackwell found out that Magnus can sing very well. In my opinion, he sings beautifully. I  heard him during the date, and later too, when he played the same song on the piano at his house. My boyfriend was very talented, which made me proud.

Our relationship was going perfectly. He made me feel so happy. He gave me a strength to fight for myself. Even though we rarely saw each other outside of school, we still managed to stay together. We talked a lot on phone, via texts, or on skype. I missed seeing him in person, where we could cuddle while watching some romantic movie that Magnus loved, but only two months more and the school play will have its premiere. Then we will have as much time for each other as we want.

If my illness doesn’t defeat me first.

Today, my strength seemed to have left me. From the first minute I woke up, my head was on fire. The burning made me dizzy and sick to my stomach. Everything was tiring me out, stressing me. But I managed to hide it from my family in the morning and from Magnus at school. At least till the rehearsal where I fell asleep on the chair while waiting for my boyfriend to be done. One moment, I was watching him saying his lines, the next I felt someone shaking my arm.

“Wakey, wakey, sleeping beauty,” his honey voice reached my ears. I opened my eyes and looked in his deep green-gold orbs. “Time to go home.”

“Huh?” I couldn’t come up with a proper sentence as the wave of pain hit my head. To stop myself from whining in front of him, I bit my lower lip hard, till it bled. “What’s going on?”

“I’m done with the rehearsal. We’re going to my place to study for the math test, Alexander.” I nodded at his words since it was true. Today Magnus had to study for his last math test. “Are you alright, Alec?”

“I’m fine,” I assured him and let him grab my hand to help me get up. “Let’s go.”

Half an hour later Magnus parked in front of his house. Before I was out of my car, I massaged my temples to lower the pain I was feeling. I didn’t want to look weak in front of my boyfriend. I can’t have him worrying about me. Not when our relationship is developing so good.

Upstairs, in his bedroom, we sat down on the bed and began to study. Explaining geometry was easy, but with every passing minute, I was feeling more tired than before. My eyes were closing on their own. I was trying so hard to fight off the tiredness, but I was defeated by my own body.

“Are you tired, darling? We can have a break.” Suddenly, Magnus’s worried face was before my eyes. He was stroking my cheek gently, eyeing me from head to toe.

“I’m fine, Mags.”

“You’re clearly not.” He stated firmly, grabbing my hands into his. “I can see you’re tired, Alec. Are you sick?” He placed his warm hand on my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“I’m just a little bit tired, but I’ll be fine. You need to study.” I tried to minimize his worrying, hoping that my face won’t betray me. Magnus didn’t seem to catch on my lie. Maybe it’s because I was just partly lying. Indeed, I was feeling tired, but it was because of leukemia.

“Fuck my studies, Alexander,” Magnus’s voice was filled with slight anger and worry. “Lie down, we’ll take a nap and then I’ll drive you home.”

He took off his red blazer, revealing a white shirt with sequins. Taking his example, I took off my black hoodie. Before I knew it, Magnus unfolded the canary yellow sheets and silently ordered me to lie down. His bed was very comfortable, filled with many pillows. When I found my place on his bed, I felt it dip behind my back. I couldn’t stop the blush creeping on my cheeks slowly. This will be the first time we’re sleeping in one bed together.

“You can relax, sweet cheeks,” I was confused by Magnus’s announcement. I turned back and looked at him with confusion. “You’re so tense. I won’t bite or touch you if you don’t want me to.” Magnus wiggled at me in his seductive way. “We’ll just nap, I promise. Trust me, darling.”

Magnus opened his arms wide and let me decide what I want to do. There was just one thing I wanted right now. I snuggled up to him and placed my head on his chest. Magnus’s steady heartbeat and the low hum of the song he had sung to me on our first date, lulled me to sleep. Before I knew it, I was slowly giving myself into Morpheus’s arms.

…

Alec fell asleep almost immediately when he snuggled up to me, which gave me time to observe him. He must have been too tired, as he was softly snoring. It made me wonder what tired him out so much. Was it our study sessions? Or maybe something else? After all, he had slept during my rehearsal as well. He shouldn’t have been so tired unless he was sick. Which wasn’t a possibility. Alec Lightwood was as healthy as a horse.

I tried to recall if something like that had happened before, but nothing came to my mind. But, from now on, I decided to be wary when it came to my boyfriend’s state.

Alec looked like an Angel while sleeping. His face had no worry marks. A soft smile crept up on his perfect lips. He must be having a pleasant dream. A soft knock on the door woke me up from my admiration. Soon, my mother opened the door and walked inside.

“Dinner is ready, boys.” I shushed her and pointed at Alec before she could wake him up. Mom just nodded and smiled at me, while I stroked Alec’s black hair. “I’m going out, Magnus. Heat the dinner later so you and Alec can eat. Is Alec staying the night here?”

“No, I’ll drive him home later,” I responded in a whisper when Alec stirred on the bed.

“Ok. I’ll leave money for a taxi for you in the kitchen. Unless you’re sleeping at Alec’s place?” She wiggled her eyebrows at me in her meaningful way. Yes, we were open with each other very much, even when it came to sex.

“I’ll be home tonight, mom. We haven’t had sex yet, I’ve told you.” She just shrugged her shoulders and closed the door. A few moments later I heard the front door closing.

When Alec woke up two hours later by an incoming call from his mother, I observed him more. He was trying to hide it from me, but I could tell that he was in pain and tired. In his car, as I drove, I spotted that he kept his head pressed to the cold car window. It bugged me why he was so tired. However, I decided to give him time to tell me the reason himself. For now, all I could do was keep an eye on him.

Clearly, there was something wrong with my Angel. If it weren’t for my promise to keep our relationship hidden at school, I wouldn’t leave him for a second. Yet, I was obligated to keep my distance. But it didn’t mean that I would worry any less about Alexander.

Alec was trying so hard to stay focused during classes, I could see it in his posture and eyes. He struggled when he had to do more than one thing in a short period of the time. When I kept asking what is wrong, all he was telling me was I’m fine. But he wasn’t. And soon, I was met with a painful truth.

We were sitting in the lunchroom. Cate and I with, Ragnor, Tessa, Will, Jem and Woolsey who I had lately forgiven. Alec was sitting with his siblings and friends of Jace. Cate and Tessa were blabbing about the upcoming prom, but I couldn’t care less. My eyes were set on my boyfriend, who didn’t look so good at that moment. He was slouching by the table, head barely kept on his both hands. His eyes were half closed as his brother spoke to him.

 _Everything ok?_ I send him a quick text and pointed at the phone when our eyes crossed. Two minutes later, I got a response, which didn’t calm my nerves at all.

_I’m fine, Mags._

As if. He didn’t look good at all. Suddenly Alec got up from a chair and with a hand clasped on his face he ran out of the cafeteria. It shocked me, not so long ago he seemed to be so tired, and now he was running? It was odd and suspicious. I couldn’t stay away from the problem anymore.

“I’ll be right back,” I said to my friends and left the room. In the hallway, I wondered where he could have gone. I suspected the bathroom, but there were three here, so I needed some help. Luckily for me, I found some girls from grade ten wandering through halls. “Hey, have you seen Alec Lightwood? Tall, black hair, blue eyes. He ran here a minute ago or so.”

They pointed me to the first boy’s restroom. Ah, I could have figured it out. Alec must have felt sick so he wouldn’t make to another restroom. As much as I respected Alexander and his privacy, right now I decided to invade it. But from everything that I could expect to see, it was a view that I would never consider.

Alec was standing by the sink with his head lowered. He was holding some toilet paper by his nose, which was now scarlet red. It hit me then. Alec was bleeding from his nose.

“Alexander.”

“Magnus…I…” He turned his head towards me too quickly. A few drops of the blood fell on the white floor. His hand, which gripped the sink, was shaking like a leaf. I walked closer to him and eyed him from head to toe. Blood was running down his chin and marked his blue shirt with red drops.

“What happened, baby?”

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” He defended himself.

“You’re clearly not fine!” I insisted, pointing at the bloody paper. “You’re bleeding out of your nose, Alec!”

“I’m fine,” Alec repeated himself in more weary voice. “I’m just tired.”

“Let me look at it.” As gently as I could, I took off the paper and threw it in the sink. It seemed that the worst bleeding stopped by now, and only a small trail was running down his chin. I grabbed a paper from the container and wetted it before I wiped the remaining blood from under his nose and chin. Then I pressed harder a clean paper to his nose and held it strongly for a while, keeping my hand on the back of his head. “Better, sweet pea?”

“Still tired, but…” he grabbed me by my waist and leaned his head on my shoulder. “I thought we decided to stop with the sweet pea.”

“You decided.” Alec pinched me in my side for that response, which only made me laugh before I drew him back and looked in his eyes. “You worried me, honey. Tell me, what’s going on?”

“I just need to rest. I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry.” It didn’t convince me at all. “I promise, Magnus, I’m fine. But you can drive me home now if it will ease your nerves. I promise to go to sleep immediately.”

“You bet your cute ass I will.” As expected, Alec blushed, though less than usual.

A few days later, Alec’s tiredness seemed to disappear for good, or so I thought. He didn’t fall asleep during my rehearsals or our study time. He had more energy to do things, like going for a walk or in the gym class. Everything looked better, until that day, when we were having a history class together.

Alec was sitting in the front row with Aline Penhallow. I was sitting in the back with Ragnor, as always. Even with so much length between us, I could tell that Alec was paler than usual. His eyes were cloudy, and he struggled to keep himself upright on the chair.

“Are you listening to me?” Ragnor whispered to me when the teacher turned to the blackboard. “It makes me sick, you know. Stop eyeing the blue-eyed-wonder and focus on your best friend for a while. I have a problem.”

“I think there’s something wrong with Alexander,” I said to him, not taking my eyes off of Lightwood. “He’s so tired lately. Just look at him.”

“Then talk to him. Like a normal couple.” Ragnor emphasized his words with a pointed look.

“I did, and he said he’s fine.”

“Then talk to Isabelle and Jace.” Fell prompted the greatest idea of this day. “They’re his siblings, they will know.”

“You’re a genius!” I kissed the top of his head, which provided us strange looks from our classmates.

With a plan in my head, all I had to do was corner Isabelle or Jace Lightwood. As much as I wanted to talk with Miss Lightwood, I couldn’t find her. And so, I was destined to talk with the one Lightwood I didn’t like at all.

I followed him to the boy’s restroom, so we could have a little bit of privacy.

“Oh god, what have I done to piss you off that you’re punishing me in such a horrible way,” Jace whined, looking up at the ceiling. “Couldn’t you go to another restroom?”

“I’m not happy to be in the same room with you either, but we have to talk.”

“No, we don’t. Just because you’re dating my brother, it doesn’t mean that we’re going to be besties now.” Jace tried to walk pass me, but I stopped him with my hand. “Move.”

“I know you hate me, but there’s something that connects us right now.” The blonde boy crossed his arms over his chest and glared me. “It’s about Alec.”

“What about my brother?” Jace’s tone changed from cocky one, to worried.

“Look, I care about him a lot. I’m worried, Jace. There’s something wrong with Alexander.”

“What do you mean?” He asked suspiciously, eyeing me closely.

“He’s so tired lately. He sleeps during classes and that nosebleed…”

“What nosebleed?” Jace interrupted me, grabbing my wrist in a hard grip. “What nosebleed?”

“He had a nosebleed last week, but he said it’s because he’s been tried lately.” Jace’s posture changed then. He loosened his grip on my wrist and then took off his hand wholly. He put a stoic mask on his face and inhaled the air slowly. “Tell me, is everything ok with him? I need to know.”

“It’s just tiredness like he said,” Lightwood stated firmly, moving to the door.

“He would tell me if something was wrong, right?” I didn’t expect myself to be so vulnerable in front of Jace Lightwood. Yet, here I was, almost on the edge of crying from worry. “Right?”

“I suppose.”

“So I shouldn’t worry so much? It’s just tiredness. He will be fine?” Jace nodded to my questions with an unreadable expression on his face. “I hope you’re right, Jace.”

As I left the restroom, I couldn’t stop pondering about the last events. Something was telling me that Alec wasn’t fine. But I couldn’t pinpoint what could be possibly wrong with him. Yet, I knew that I had to find out soon.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum, dum, dum... oh, oh, Alec's little lie is starting to cracking. Not good, right?  
> The next one on next Tuesday, hopefully, my heart will be in a better place then. I do hope that Malec will make up at the end of the season.  
> Stay tuned.


	14. The cat got out of the bag

 

The day began as usual. I was late for class, though this time I had a vague reason for it. Even the teacher couldn’t be less surprised when I told her why I was running late.

“I was looking for my homework. I’ve done it.” Mrs. Branwell was so shocked when I gave her my work, that she sat down in the chair and for a long moment she stared blankly at the paper.

When I sat down next to Catarina and Ragnor, I scanned the room to look for my boyfriend. He was nowhere to be seen. Silently I asked my friends if they had seen him, but they shook their heads. While I was wondering about the whereabouts of my boyfriend, my eyes caught something very interesting. Ragnor wasn’t paying attention to any of the words of our teacher, instead, he kept his eyes glued to Catarina with warmth in them. Whenever Cate caught him staring, his cheeks started burning, and he tried to turn his head away. Intriguing. I knew that I’ve been busy with my relationship with Alexander, but I think I would have realized if my friends have the hots for one another. Or maybe being with Alec blinded me wholly to everything around me? It could be. Lately, Alec was the only thing I’ve been thinking about.

As the three first classes passed, Alec hadn’t shown up. It worried me, it was unusual. In fact, Alexander was a perfect student, never late for any classes. If I could recall well, he hasn’t missed any day of school except during our sophomore year, when he was officially transferred to another school. Many scenarios had played in my mind. Maybe he wasn’t at school because he was feeling bad? After all, a week ago he had a nosebleed. The more time that passed, the more worried I became.

When lunch break came, I couldn’t concentrate on anything. My friends were teasing me that I’m a drama queen and Alec is fine, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. Fortunately for me, Alexander explained his absence in a short, sweet text.

_ I’m at the dentist with Max. Mom and dad couldn’t take him. But I’ll be back for your rehearsal. I’ll see you then, Mags :* _

Reassured by that, I could finally relax for a bit and enjoy what was left of the lunch break. Alas, my sweet break was interrupted by the sudden appearance of my ex-girlfriend.

“So, the prom is coming, Magnus.” Camille Belcourt, a.k.a. the Queen-Bee of our school, lady vampire like some guys have been calling her, sat next to me and grabbed my bicep. As gently as I could, I shook off her hand. “What do you say, huh? We should go together. I’m sure that we’ll win the Queen and King of Prom again this year. I have this gorgeous red dress to wear…”

“I won’t go with you.” I decided to cut her off before she started to make plans. There was no way I would go with her. If I decided to attempt going to prom this year, it would be with my boyfriend.

Lately, as my relationship with Alexander developed, I wondered why I had been with Camille in the first place. There wasn't anything connecting us, except for parties. As strange as it might sound, I haven’t even missed partying anymore. With Alexander, I found out that I can have as much fun as before, even without constantly going to parties. There are many things between me and my boyfriend that I cherish, especially the compromises we’re making with each other.

“Why not? We could have as much fun as we used to.” She wiggled at me, smirking. “We could sneak into Mrs. Herondale’s office and have sex on her desk.”

“And what will your boyfriend say about it? I’m sure that Woolsey will have something against us having sex.”

“Please, I’m not with Woolsey anymore. He’s immature.” Her comment made me look at her with disbelief. While we were together, she was often cheating on me with Woolsey and other guys. I strictly remember the younger age of them not being a problem.

“Camille, you fucked Ralph, Woolsey’s younger brother.” The girl just shrugged her arms. We would probably bicker some more if it wasn’t for the sudden appearance of Jace and Isabelle Lightwood in front of us.

“Can we talk, Sparkles?” I nodded quickly, getting up. I followed them to another table. The fact that they both wanted to talk with me made me curious and worried at the same time. Jace had never looked for a conversation with me, nor did Isabelle. Sure, she sometimes chatted about fashion with me, especially when I visited them, but along with Jace? I wondered what it was about. “So... the thing is that Alec’s birthday is coming.”

“I know, his birthday is in two weeks.” I had the date marked in my heart, mind, and calendar. As well as I had already bought him a gift; a collector version of the Sherlock Holmes books. I found that my Angel likes this sort of books.

“Yes, and though Alec hates parties,” Isabelle spoke with a witty smile on her lips. “We’re throwing him one anyway. Well, it won’t be a huge ass party, but a small gathering at home. You know, us, Ellie, Aline, Helen, Simon, Clary, and of course you, Magnus.”

“And this is where your part comes,” Jace added, leaning closer to me. “On Friday, you have to keep him a bit longer at your place.”

“No worries, Jace. I can keep your brother occupied.” The scowl on Blondie's face was worth the teasing. “You have my number, so keep me posted.”

By the end of the day, I was applying makeup in the school’s bathroom. Coach Garroway had made me run ten laps today as a punishment for not attending his classes lately. What could I say? I hate this sort of physical activity. It made me pant like crazy and sweat in the wrong way.

“So,” I looked at Ragnor who was waiting for me, as I was his lift home for today. He was sitting on the marble ledge, bending his legs like he was at preschool. I decided that is a proper time to address the intriguing revelation I had earlier today. “What’s up with you and Catarina?”

“Wh…what do you mean?” apparently, Ragnor was shocked by my question. I couldn’t blame him.

“I’ve been busy with my own relationship, but I’m not blind, my friend.” I put the mascara back into my bag and checked myself in the mirror. I looked presentable enough for my boyfriend. “I saw the goo-goo eyes you’ve been giving her. You like her.”

“Of course I like her, she’s my friend.” His denial posture reminded me of the talk we had three months ago.

“I’ve known you my whole life, Ragnor. This look tells me that you like her more than a friend.” His cheeks turned red at my words. Though he wasn’t blushing as cutely as Alec, it was a nice look to see.

“I think I like her,” he admitted after a while in a quieter tone. “But I’m not sure if she likes me too. I mean, I realized why my previous relationships sucked. All of them weren’t Cate. We get along so amazing, we like the same things, and of course, you annoy as at the same level.”

“It’s called looooove, my Emerald Prince,” for this small joke I received a punch in a shoulder. It hurt, only because Ragnor Fell was very muscled. “Ouch.”

“Don’t make fun of me, Mr. Oh my boyfriend is so perfect, I love him.” I stuck my tongue out at him for this snarky comment. “Do you think she likes me?”

“You’re asking the wrong person. Talk to Cate.” Ragnor seemed to consider my words, as he scratched his chin. “Look, it won’t hurt to ask. If she likes you that way, you can ask her to a prom. Maybe you can even double date with Jem and Tessa. If not, then I’m sure we can find you some lady.”

“With Tessa and Jem? Why not with you and blue-eyed wonder?”

“Alec isn’t out of the closet yet, and I won’t push him. I care so much about him; I wouldn’t want to hurt him like that. I’ll wait for him to be ready to tell about us.” We walked towards the exit of the bathroom when Ragnor grabbed my arm.

“But how long will you last hiding?”

“As long as I have to.”

Although that day I didn’t realize that apparently, it won’t be that long.

* * *

 

_ Alec pov: _

Even though I felt terrible for lying about my yesterday’s whereabouts to Magnus, today had started rather good to me. I was free of any pain, and my thoughts were clear. Maybe it was because of yesterday’s confirmation from my doctor that my latest symptoms weren’t heralding the return of my illness. I felt poorly lately because of tiredness and new meds prescribed by my doctor. It was relieving for me. It meant that I could keep my lie up for a little bit longer. I could have the little of happiness for a while more.

At least I thought so until I haven’t had come to the lunch break.

The moment I entered the room, I could feel that everyone was giving me weird looks. Some of them eyed me from head to toe, some of them seemed to whisper something which sounded like ‘key’ or ‘bey’, I couldn’t tell for sure with all of the noises around. It made me wonder, whether they look at me so because I wear something strange or so. But as I looked down at myself, I realized that it can’t be that. I wore my usual clothes, black jeans, and a dark shirt. Nothing strange.

Yet, the closer I got to my usual table, where my so-called friends were seated, the more it got to me.

_ ‘Gay’ ‘fag’ _ I heard the insults coming from all over the room. I looked around to see at whom they were shouting such things, but it seemed that I was the victim here. It was confirmed when I tried to pull a chair for myself and Jonathan had stopped my hand. When he realized that he had touched me, he flinched violently.

“You’re not sitting with us anymore, little fag!” for a second his words confused me, but soon I understood their true meaning.

They knew the truth.

“What?” I tried to play a little longer, to give myself time to think about the safest way to run out of here.

“You heard me,” he replied with so much anger in his voice. In fact, the rage was matching the disgusting look in his black eyes. “You’re not sitting with us anymore.”

“Get lost to your whore, you disgusting fag.” Another voice reached my ears. The overwhelming atmosphere in the room started to fall onto me. My eyes filled with tears, which soon were trailing down my face. Everyone was laughing at me, pointing their fingers and shouting gay, fag, even a whore.

“What’s that? The cat bit your tongue, fag?” this time it was Sebastian who insulted me. There was so much hate in their eyes as they were laughing at me. My body started to shake with fear, a heart was beating too fast for my liking. My breath was shallow and I dreamt about hiding myself in some deep, dark place.

I dropped my tray with food and ran out of the cafeteria as fast as I could. Yet the fate was against me again, as I bumped into someone on my way out.

“Woah! Could you look… Alec? Are you ok?” I recognized the voice of my boyfriend. As on instinct, I looked up into his eyes, finding them changing from happy to confused and worried. “What happened?”

“Look at that, people,” Jonathan’s voice filled the room again. “Two fags in the room. I wonder, which one of you is the whore of another?”

As my body convulsed again, I drew myself away from Magnus and ran past him before he could stop me.

I ran, ran, ran until my heartbeat was unbearable for me and the darkness engulfed me.

* * *

 

_ Magnus pov: _

Everything happened so fast from that moment. Alec ran out, Simon immediately after him. I was almost turning on my heel to ran after him as well, but I was stopped by Jonathan Morgenstern's voice, filled with a laugh.

“Oh, have we upset the little fag’s feelings?” everyone in the room started to laugh with John. I looked around at them for a second, before I dropped both my tray and bag to the floor and ran towards the boy.

“Shut the hell up, Johnny, or I swear, you’re going to be very sorry.”

“Oh yeah?” he mocked. “What’re you going to do, fag boy? Alec is the same fag as you…”

“Don’t call him like that!” I pushed him hard to the floor, and god forbid me, but I wished him to hit his head harder. As if on a cue his minions; Sebastien and Jordan; got up and circled me. But then, I realized that I’m not alone, Ragnor was by my side in seconds.

Then all hell broke loose.

When John got up from the floor with Sebastian’s help, he tried to charge at me, but I was faster. I punched him hard in his jaw and was trying to block the blow thrown at me by Jordan. Yet, I failed. He hit me in my nose. It for sure will be broken. We continued to punch each other, three against two. Blood was slowly running down my nose and chin, I could swear that at some point I heard a cracking of bones, yet I wasn’t sure, who has them broken. Everything was hectic. People in the room were cheering, some for Jonathan and his group, some for me and Ragnor.

“The hell is going on here?” a new voice broke through the all growls and threats flying through the room. I was solemnly surprised when Jace stood between me and John, separating us for a moment.

“When were you going to tell us that your brother is a disgusting fag, Jace?” the other blonde addressed him.

“What did you call my brother?” I could tell that Jace’s patience is worn off. He balled his fists and his body stiffen.

“I called him what he is. A disgusting fa…” Jace didn’t let him finish the sentence. He threw a firm punch at his face. The hit was strong enough that it flew John at the plastic table and broke it in the middle. But the younger Lightwood hadn’t had stopped. When shocked Sebastien and Jordan wanted to attack the blonde boy, Ragnor and I charged at them, pushing them as far from us as we could.

The fight was going for a while longer before we were interrupted by more firm and an angry voice of a principal.

“Stop it!” She moved between us and them and looked at us. We were the perfect picture of a total disaster. Blood was running from noses; bruises were decorating our faces. Hell, Ragnor had even swelled eye. We looked horrible, but it was worth it. Our enemies looked even worse. I was sure that I had broken Jonathan’s nose and hand. Sebastian had a busted lip and swelled nose, while Jordan had red marks on his cheek and broken brew. “My office, now!”

As we were walking behind her, we sent each other death glares. On our way out, we bumped onto Isabelle and Clary, looking at us frantically.

“Find Alec,” Jace ordered her with a knowing look.

“Simon ran after him,” I added towards girls, while the principal urged us to go faster.

…

We were sitting in her office all consumed in silence, exchanging murderous looks, as much as we could with swollen eyes and bruises on our faces. Mrs. Herondale was looking at us sighing loudly.

“Which one of you will start? I give you a chance before your parents will come here.”

“Magnus started the fight,” Jonathan popped in first, holding a bloody tissue pressed to his nose. “He punched me with no reason. I had to fight back.”

“You dick!” If it weren’t for a hard grip of Ragnor on my arm, I’d jump to John’s throat. “Mrs. Herondale, I punched him in Alec’s behalf. Morgenstern was insulting and humiliating Alexander, and I had to stand up for him.”

“Alec Lightwood?” I confirmed with a quick nod. “What has he to do with all of this?”

“John insulted Alec because of his sexual orientation and his relationship with Magnus,” Jace added to the conversation. “I had to stand up for my brother.”

“Where is Alec?” she asked, looking at us expectantly.

“Alec ran out of the cafeteria and…” she silenced me with a hand gesture and took the phone. She pressed few buttons and soon was talking to someone. “Alice, please find Alec Lightwood and bring him to my office. And call for his parents, parents of Sebastian Verlac, Jordan Kyle, Jonathan Morgenstern, Ragnor Fell and Magnus Bane, immediately.”

“Now,” she said after she put the phone down. “You will wait outside for your parents to come. And I’ll think of the best punishment for all of you.”

We sat in her office for a longer moment already. I was constantly watching down my phone, calling and texting Alec non-stop, but I haven’t received any answer from him. It was worrying me. Alec was fragile, even though he didn’t like to show it outside, but I could see it clearly. I hoped that he wouldn’t do something to himself.

“Do you have any text from Alexander?” I whispered towards Jace, but he shook his head. “Maybe Izzy or Clary?”

Again, Jace shook his head. Although I hated it and haven’t had done it for years, now I felt the urge to bite my nails from all those nerves. Alec looked so upset when he ran off.

“Jace!” We heard Robert Lightwood’s voice, as he was running towards us. Right behind him was walking very angered Valentine Morgenstern and Jia Penhallow, a guardian of Sebastian Verlac. Jace got up from the ground and walked towards his father. “Are you ok? What happened?”

“I’m fine dad.” He mused while the older Lightwood was checking his bruises. “But Alec has run off and we…”

“He’s sitting in my car with your sister, Clarissa, and Simon.” His explanation calmed my heart. Alec was safe. Robert’s eyes moved through the hallway and stopped at me. “You too, Magnus?”

“I’m fine, Mr. Lightwood. Is Alec ok?” he confirmed with a soft smile and a nod. “Good.”

It was good until my mother had come to school, lashing out at me and Ragnor.

“What have you done this time, Magnus Bane?” The tone she used made both of us flinch. “I asked you to behave well this year, and what are you doing? Getting in a fight again?! You too, Ragnor.”

“We had to mom!” I tried to reason with her. “They were humiliating Alec.”

“So what really happened? And why my oldest son is involved with it?” Robert looked at us with a frustrated expression. “Alec didn’t tell me anything.” He turned to my mother with a charming smile. “Robert Lightwood.”

“Ayanna Bane. Ah, so you’re Alec’s father?” he nodded. “He’s such a nice boy.”

“Dad, John, Sebastian, and Jordan were insulting Alec. They called him mean things that I don’t want to repeat. And we had to intervene.” There was a proud look in Robert’s Lightwood eyes, mixed with a pain caused probably by the news of hurting his son. “But it was nothing.”

“Let’s just hope you won’t be thrown out of the school.”

An hour later we left school with our parents. As expected we were suspended for three weeks and had to help in a local hospital as volunteers every day. Nothing too hard to do. I was used to strange ideas of Mrs. Herondale punishments. Once we were outside, I spotted Alec sitting in his father’s car with the door open. I ran towards him and kneeled before him. He looked a bit pale and his hair was slightly wetted, but besides this, he seemed to be fine.

“Are you alright, honey?” I asked while taking his hand into mine. “I’m so sorry baby, I didn’t want this to be revealed like that. I promise you, I’ll find a person who told us off and will make them feel sorry.”

“It was bound to be out soon.” Alec’s voice was strained with feelings. He raised his other hand to my face and stroked all of the bruises. “Does it hurt?”

“The pain was worth, and I’ll be fine,” I reassured my boyfriend with a wide smile, despite the hurt in my jaw. “I wish I’d beat him some more, he deserved it.”

“Magnus?” I looked up in his beautiful blue eyes, now only slightly red from crying. It hurt my heart that Jonathan caused tears in my Angel. “Can you hug me? I need you.”

“Of course, my blue-eyed Angel.” I opened my arms for him and soon he pressed himself into my chest as if he was hiding from everyone. I wanted to stay like this forever, protecting Alec from all bad things of the world.

Three weeks later, when I was back in the school, everything seemed to tone down. People stopped caring if Alec is gay or in the relationship with me. Of course, despite us being out in school, we hadn’t had acted openly. We hadn’t made out like crazy or so, no, we kept our relations to ourselves. We held hands, occasionally kiss here and there. If someone had something against it, they kept it to each other. It probably was because of principal Herondale statement on an appeal. She stated firmly that she won’t having racism and bullying in her school. Everyone who will go against her rules may be assured that she won’t hesitate to throw someone out of the school. As well, as she decided that if Jonathan Morgenstern will misbehave till the end of the year, same as me, we can say goodbye to the school immediately.

For once, I decided to follow her rules.

When I returned to the school, I found out that it was Camille and Woolsey, who told Jonathan about me and Alec. That was the last point for me to definitely cut off from Camille and Woolsey. Jace, Isabelle, Clary, and Simon turned their backs on Jonathan and his loyal dogs.

The fact that Alec’s secret had been revealed made us a stronger couple. I was happy that he didn’t decide to break things off with me when everything was told to the world. Alec struggled with this every day, but he wasn’t alone in this. I was with him every step of the way. I was there for him. And day by day, as we were stronger, I was falling more for him. Maybe even I fell in love with him already. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everyone at the school knows.   
> Did you like it?  
> Comment if you feel like to.


	15. Not every story has to be perfect

**Chapter XIV**

**„Not every story has to be perfect”**

Despite my lately come out in the school, almost everything in my life seemed to go well. Almost – the main word. Everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for my worse health. In the past few days, I started to feel even worse than before. All of this started the day I passed out in school, after running away from the cafeteria. One moment I was running through hallways, the next I hear a frantic voice of Isabelle and Simon.

“We need to call for an ambulance, Alec!”

“No hospital, I’m fine.”

“The hell you are. Alec, you fainted and you’re deathly pale! I’m calling dad.”

“Please, don’t. I’m fine. It’s stress and emotions.”

“Bullshit, Magnus told Jace about your nosebleed. I’m telling mom and dad.”

“But I’m fine…”

Apparently, I wasn’t as fine as I thought. Doctor Anderson found another rise of lymphocytosis in my blood. The rise wasn’t big; now the level was 45,4%, but still, it made my family worry. Although, the worry is a too small word on what was happening later. My mother started to panic seriously. She was close to putting me back in the hospital. It took doctor Anderson an hour to explain that it was too early to keep me in the hospital and give me a chemotherapy. Fortunately, my father was the calmer one, though his brown eyes were filled with fear, as he was looking at me.

I hated the way I made them feel.

I understood their worry, I was afraid as well that leukemia was back. But deep down in my heart, I hoped that we were all wrong. My life was too good now to end it. I had too many people to care about. I had someone whom I may be in love with.

“Will you ever tell him?” Ellie asked me one night through the phone after I came back from a hospital. Magnus’s detention was a salvation for me, I could have a few rest days to gain my strength again. “He has a right to know, Alec.”

“I know, but I can’t tell him. I’m not ready yet.”

It wasn’t just because I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to burden Magnus with my problems when he had so many on his own plate. One day, I was met with his problems very personally.

…

We were driving back to his place after a rehearsal. Magnus was slightly tired since he was still trying to figure out, whether he'll sing something known already, or write some new songs for the musical. I encouraged him to try his own songs since he has a talent for creating a beautiful music.

“Uck,” he blurted suddenly, making me look at him when we stopped at the red light. “Did you know that I have to kiss Lacey three times in the play?”

“I know.”

“It will be awful.” He cringed his nose and frowned.

“You’ll live, Magnus. You don’t have to make out with her. You just kiss her quickly and that’s it.” I tried to reason with him.

“Aren’t you even slightly jealous? Some girl will be kissing your boyfriend, Alexander. I’d be very jealous.” Magnus was the first to get out of my car and walk to the door of his home. I turned the engine down and ran after him. When we were standing on the porch, I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed it lightly.

“I will close my eyes, cover my ears and forget that it’s a part of the play. Then you’ll wash your mouth thoroughly and we will all forget that it ever happened, ok?”

“Will do, sweetcheeks,” he winked at me, making me blush madly.

When we walked inside his home, we could hear some muffled voices coming from the kitchen. Apparently, Ayanna had some guest.

“I’m not sure, Magnus will like it.”

“I’m his father. I missed you and him, Ayanna. I want to be back with my family.”

Before I could comprehend what was happening, I felt Magnus body stiff next to me. His hand squeezed mine too hard, but I didn’t dare to complain, as I had no idea what was going on. My boyfriend’s face was blank, his eyes darkened in one second. I turned to him, trying to say something, but I couldn’t. Magnus let go of my hand and raced into the kitchen. Confused by that I moved after him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” he shouted at the older man. He was tall, lean, with the same black hair as Magnus, although, the rest of him didn’t look like Bane at all. Magnus was a copy of his mother, except for his eyes. “Get the fuck out of here!”

“Magnus!” Ayanna scolded Magnus, but she quickly ceased shouting at him, after he looked at her furious. I had to admit, I hadn’t had seen Magnus so mad before.

“My son.” This time it was his father who addressed him. It only made him go more rigid.

“Don’t call me like that! I’m not your son!” His voice was becoming angrier, filled with hatred. My boyfriend never made me afraid before, but in this moment, I began to feel fear. “Get out!”

“I just came to talk to you, Magnus. I’ve missed you and your mother,” the older man pressed, looking meaningfully at Bane. He took a step closer to him, but Magnus took two back, revealing me to his family.

“But we didn’t miss you. Now goodbye! Make sure to never come back!”

“Magnus!” his mother tried to reach him again. “Let’s talk like a family…” Her eyes moved from Magnus to the left and she stopped at me. The moment our eyes crossed, I could easily tell that she’s embarrassed by the situation going on in her house and that I’ve been a witness to it. “Alec…”

“And who’s this young man?” Apparently, not only Magnus’s mom realized that I was in the house. He reached his hand out to me in greeting. “I’m Roger Bane, I’m Magnus’s father.”

“You’re not!” Magnus protested loudly, grabbing my hand again.

“Alec Lightwood,” I decided that it was polite to introduce myself as well, even though Magnus was opposed to it.

“Alec is Magnus’s friend,” his mom popped in with a soft, apologizing smile. Ah, so it seemed that Roger didn’t know about his sexuality. It confused me for a moment, I didn’t know whether should I play the game Ayanna started or admit that we’re a couple. Yet, it wasn’t my decision to make. Magnus decided to beat me in admitting.

“Don’t lie to him, mom.” He moved his eyes from mother to his father. “Alexander is my boyfriend. We’re a couple.” Magnus suddenly kissed me on lips to emphasize his statement. I was too shocked to kiss him back, even more, I was frozen in a place. He pulled away and looked encouraging at Roger as if he dared him to say something. “We’re in love.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Alec.” Roger smiled at me and shook my hand. “It’s good to know, that my son is happy.”

“Why don’t you go upstairs, boys,” Ayanna spoke to us, slightly begging with her eyes. “I call you down when the dinner is ready.”

After nodding to her plea, I slightly nudged Magnus to get his attention. When he looked at me, with his dark from fury eyes, I offered him a soft smile. I didn’t know if it was a good call, but it made Magnus focus just on me. With his hand in mine, I walked him out of the room in the direction of a staircase. He started to breathe heavy, but I knew, that the moment we’ll be in his bedroom, I’ll manage to calm him. If only we would be able to get in there without any problems.

Yet the luck wasn’t on my side today.

“It’s good to be back with my family.”

The moment the words of Magnus’s father reached our ears, I knew that it’s a breaking point for my boyfriend. His heart must have beaten faster now, his breath became shallow. But it wasn’t the worst. In a pure rage, he encircled my wrist and squeezed it hard. I couldn’t stop myself from hissing in a pain. It woke him up from his ragefully, paralyzed state. He looked at me vulnerable, scared and confused at the same time. He immediately let go of my wrist and covered his mouth with a hand. It only lasted a few seconds. A deep silence fell between us for a moment, before Magnus ran inside his bedroom. I massaged my hurt wrist and moved after him.

Magnus was sitting on the floor, leaning his back on the wall. His knees were brought to his chest, arms circled around them. He didn’t look at me when I walked in and kneeled before him. When I was about to place my hand on his knee to gain his focus, he shouted at me.

“Don’t touch me!” I retrieved my hand as quickly as I could. His words hurt me inside because I wanted nothing more than comfort him. But I believe that Magnus realized it. “I don’t want to hurt you more.”

“Mags…”

“I’m so sorry, darling. I’m so sorry.” His broken voice was matching the tears streaking down his beautiful face. I dared to place my hand under his chin and lifted his head to look him in the eye. Magnus refused to open his eyes, so I let him be. Instead, I kissed away the salty tears from his cheek. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“You didn’t, Mags. It’s nothing.”

“I’m just like him!” Bane murmured to me, finally opening his eyes and looking down at my abused wrist. I hated the fact that the red color was so visible on it.

I hated that Magnus was so broken now. He, the strongest person I’ve ever known. I wanted to take this pain away from him, but I knew that there isn’t a thing that I could do to help him. I did the only thing I could, and I hoped that it will somehow calm his frantic world now. I sneaked my arms around his lean frame and pulled him into me. Magnus sobbed in the crook of my neck, while I was soothing his back slowly, whispering sweet-nothings into his ear. We were lost in the moment, me trying to coax him back from the void he was slowly falling into.

After what it seemed a forever, Magnus stopped shaking in my arms. Taking a deep breath, I lifted him in my arms and walked us back to his bed. As gently as I could I laid us down and once again pressed him into my chest, stroking his long hair softly. There was nothing but silence between us, occasionally interrupted by a silent whimper of my boyfriend.

“I hate him so much,” he said after a while in a hoarse voice from crying. “He had hurt me so badly when I was a child. I hate him.”

“What happened?” My mouth was always quicker than my brain. I mentally scolded myself for my stupidity, before I apologized. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No,” he murmured into my shirt before he slightly pulled away from me and looked up in my eyes. His beautiful green-gold orbs were now shining with tears. It was breaking my heart in million pieces. “You’ve seen my reaction, so you deserve to know. I don’t want to have any secrets from you. I trust you, Alexander, with everything.”

He leaned up and kissed me shortly. I could taste the salty tears in this kiss.

“Everything started before I moved here with my mom. I used to live outside the city in a big home, with garden and pond behind the house. I lived there with my mom, dad, and grandma before she passed away. I was the happiest child in a world. I had two loving parents, who loved each other so much and they loved me dearly. Everything was perfect, until the day I was ten years old and I was sick. I needed to have a blood transfusion for it, I can’t remember what it was, but it was something that required a blood. My mom was out of the town, back in Indonesia, where she was organizing something for grandma. I was left with my fath…with Roger. So, he, as the great father he was, he ordered the doctors to take his blood and give it to me. Since I’m his son, we have the same blood type. The doctors made test and it turned out that we have different types of blood. He started to scream at doctors that they don’t know what they’re saying. I was his son, his own blood. But the results stated otherwise. Since then, my life turned into a living hell. When my mother came back, he demanded to know, with whom she had cheated on him and who is my real father. Finally, after a few hits mom admitted that I am a result of a drunken night before their wedding. She lied to my dad that I was born three weeks earlier than I should. The doctor was mom’s friend, so he went in with the lie. I didn’t know what was going on then, I was just a kid, so I kept asking him daddy, what’s wrong? Then he screamed into my face that he’s not my father. He started to abuse me and mom. Our hell went for almost a year before mom found the guts to call the police. They put him in a prison for six years for domestic violence, and of course immediately, the Honor divorced them and put me in the care of mom, unfortunately, none of his money could be taken by us. So, at the beginning, we were living with Ragnor and his parents, until mom had enough money to rent us a small one-room apartment. Then our life had gotten better. Grandma, I mean Roger’s mom, disowned him and decided to still help and treat us as a family. That’s my story.”

“I’m…”

“Please don’t say you’re sorry. I can handle the pity from strangers, but not from you.” Magnus wiped the reminders of tears from his face, ruining his make up in the process.

“I wanted to tell you that I’m glad you trusted me with this.” I grabbed his hands into mine and kissed the knuckles. “I won’t ever hurt you like that. I promise. You’re safe with me, Magnus. I won’t hurt you, ever. And I won’t let him hurt you, ever again. You have my word. I will protect you from him.”

Later that day, on my way back home, I tried to understand the whole story of my boyfriend. It was hard, painful, horrible. Yet, it wasn’t everything, as it turned out later. Little did I know, that the other part of the story was as painful as this one.

…

The next day, I haven’t seen Magnus since the first period. Not only it made me worry since he wasn’t returning my calls and text, but it also made me suspicious. I hated to be left in the dark, especially when it came to people I cared about. When the lunch break ended, I went to his locker to wait for him. If he’d been in the school he’d have to come for books for afternoon classes.

I leaned my back over his locker and closed my eyes for a while. I was slowly calming down, only to jump frightened when I heard someone’s fist meet with the locker, right next to my head. I opened my eyes and looked ahead me. Ragnor Fell was standing too close to me, seething with rage.

“You son of a bitch!” He screamed at me, squinting his green eyes in anger. “You’re going to regret it!”

I saw his fist coming at me, but I was blocked from running away. It could be because I had no idea what had I done to deserve the punch. Yet, before his fist could meet my face, it was stopped by someone’s else. Magnus materialized himself in front of me and held Ragnor’s fist.

“What the hell are you doing, Ragnor?! Leave him alone!”

“He’s going to pay, for what he had done to you! I saw your face, Magnus! You can’t cover that from me! Move, or you will be moved.”

“It’s not Alec!” I was lost in their battle. I had no idea as to what Ragnor was referring.

“Sure, he is! He’s just like Oliver!” Fell shouted again, trying to subtly move Bane out of the way. Oliver? Who the hell is Oliver? And why I’m suddenly like him?

“Alexander isn’t Oliver! He didn’t do this,” he remarked strongly. “My dad’s back!”

Almost immediately, Ragnor lowered his hand from the direction of my face. His whole body sagged, his eyes filled with concern and love. He threw his arms around my boyfriend and pulled him closer. Magnus sneaked his arms around Fell’s shoulders and hugged him back. They remained in this closeness for a long moment. When they pulled away from each other, Magnus turned his head to me. I could easily see the red mark on his left cheek, even though he covered it with concealer. I was reaching my hand to touch the mark, but then Ragnor spoke again.

“You can stay with me if you want.” Fell was examining the mark with gentle touches on Magnus’s cheek. “How bad was it this time?”

“He only hit me once, then mom threw him out and warned that she’ll call the police again. I’m fine.” Ragnor nodded to this and looked awkwardly at me. Magnus followed his look and smiled softly at me. “It’s ok, Ragnor. Alexander knows about my…about Roger. In fact, he met him last night.”

For a moment, I couldn’t see Magnus’s face, but he had to mouth something to Ragnor since Fell turned his eyes on me again.

“I’m sorry, Alec. For, you know…” I just nodded to his apology, before Ragnor took his bag from the floor and left me and Magnus alone.

I reached my hand and pulled Magnus closer to me. With the sleeve of my hoodie, I wiped the badly put concealer and touched the red mark. The cat-like-eyed boy slightly hissed under my touch, before he leaned to my hand. As gently as I could I kissed the place.

“Are you alright?” He asked me, where it should be me asking him the question. “Ragnor hadn’t hurt you, right?”

“No. Are you alright? What happened?”

“We got into a fight. He wasn’t very happy that I’m bisexual,” Magnus shrugged his arms as he was speaking. Typical for him, he wanted to look untouched by the situation, especially after last night, when I had seen him at his most vulnerable point. “I kept screaming that I don’t want him in our home that he hadn’t changed. He tried to assure us that he did, but then he hit me and proved me right. Mom punched him in his jaw and threw him out of a home. It’s nothing, really. You have nothing to frown about, darling.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Well, you can kiss it better,” he pointed at his lips. “I’m sure I’ll feel better in no time, baby.”

Only Magnus would jest in such moment. Yet, I decided to indulge him. We connected our lips in a sweet, slow kiss. I didn’t even bring myself to care that we’re in the hallways, where everyone could see us. Magnus was the most important to me then.

“I feel way better now,” he laughed after we ended the kiss. “But I still can believe that Ragnor could compare you to…”

“He said that I’m like some Oliver. Who was he?” The moment Magnus lowered his eyes to meet with mine, I knew that I pressed at some hard point for him. But I had to know. I felt that this story won’t be pleasant since some vague scenarios came to my mind, but I needed to know. “Magnus?”

“You really want to know?” I nodded to his question. “Ok, I’ll tell you, but not here. Come,” he grabbed my hand and dragged me further into hallways. “I still have the keys to the music room.”

A piano stood by the right wall in the music room. There were some music sheets placed on it, which I assumed belonged to Magnus. Big, black notes were painted on light yellow walls. It reminded me of a classroom back in the primary school. Magnus sat down on the stool by the piano, while I dragged myself a chair to him. At first, we were consumed in a silence, looking each other’s deep in the eyes. I could see that he’s struggling with telling me what had really happened.

“Do you remember the time I got here?” I nodded, as the nice memory filled my mind. I still could see the way Magnus looked on the very first day he showed up in our class, back in the sophomore year. My heart leaped then at the sight. “I had only Cate and Ragnor then. They were my friends from the previous school. Even though I love them dearly, I wanted more. I’ve always been a seeker for companions, I wanted people to like me. It was…” he closed his eyes for a moment and his arms shook momentarily. I reached my hand and grabbed his, to squeeze in a comfort. I could only assume that we’re getting to the terrible part of the story. “It was the first week of me being in school. I was the fresh meat, the new kid, who wasn’t acknowledged in the hallways. But then, a…a miracle happened. I got invited to a party by the most popular guy in the school. By the captain of the football team, Oliver Haywire.”

“I remember him,” it slipped out of my mouth.

“I was beyond shocked and happy. Not only I’ve been inviting to a party of the year, but as well, Oliver had invited me himself, officially. I couldn’t turn down such a thing. Hell, back then, it was the most exciting thing that could happen to me. I was having a blast on the party. I danced with so many girls, hell, I even kissed with some then. I drank and purely had fun. Then Oliver approached me. He invited me to his bedroom and he told me, that he finds me beautiful. He was handsome and he was interested in me.” A loud growl escaped my lips. “Don’t worry, sweetie, you’re the most handsome boy I’ve ever been with. But, back to the story. We started to make out and grope. He said that he wants me, he complimented me and looked at me like no one else before. I was smitten by that. I recently found out that I like boys as well as girls, and he was the first boy who liked me that way. And he was older, I couldn’t have any more luck. We started to date, of course, we couldn’t be out in public. He was a captain of the football team, he couldn’t be seen as a gay.”

“Ah, he must have felt like in heaven in the boy’s change room then.” I couldn’t stop myself from the comment.

“Probably, yes,” Magnus replied and was back to his story. “He was my first boyfriend, and since I had no experience in relationships, I followed Oliver’s lead in everything. Three weeks into our relationship, we ended up having sex. It was my first time. I was inexperienced, I didn’t know what to do. And frankly, it wasn’t like I imagined it. It was terrible, painful…” Magnus looked down at our laced hands. I could tell he was ashamed of what had happened years ago, so I stroked his knuckles with my thumb. With one of my hand, I raised his chin and kissed sweetly his lips. “I was scared then, but he promised me that he’ll take care of me. And I believed him.” Magnus admitted silently. “But it was a lie. Soon we had sex all the time, with every next time it became easier for me and almost pleasurable, until one night when he hit me for the first time during sex. I didn’t bother then, I read that some people are rough in the bed. But it wasn’t the only time, after that it became worse, especially, after I met Camille.”

“If you want to stop…”

“No. I need to tell you.” He dismissed my offer, by patting my knee. “Camille is very beautiful and I couldn’t help but fall for her then. Who wouldn’t? I started to flirt with her, but only slightly, since I had a boyfriend already. I thought that it’s nothing, I mean I flirt with many people and it means nothing mostly. As well, as I didn’t know that I’ve been observed by my own boyfriend. Yet it turned out that I was. When we met in his place, he yelled at me for talking to Cam and he forbade me to talk to her ever again. I was afraid of him, I didn’t see him like this before, so I agreed.” With every next word of Magnus, I wanted to kill that fucker for putting my sweet boyfriend through this hell. If only he’d still been in our school, I would punch his face. “I stopped flirting with Camille, but instead, Oliver started to flirt and kiss around with girls in the school. It made me furious with jealousy. So, I did the only reasonable thing I could. I cornered him and we argued about it. It was so heated, my cheek burned for hours. Whenever I talked with a pretty boy or a girl, I was being punched by Oliver. I needed to become a master in covering bruises. I never admitted that to anyone, until one night.”

“One night?” I was scared to hear the next part of the story.

“I kissed Camille behind the school. It was so exciting to kiss someone else than my boyfriend. It was amazing. I was so sure that no one had seen me and her, but I was wrong. On my way home I was suddenly jumped by Oliver and dragged to his place. From his angry expression, I could tell that it will end for me terribly. He started to hit me repeatedly and scream at me. He shouted that I belong to him, that I can’t leave him, that I’m his whore and only his.”

Magnus’s body trembled as he was telling his memories. I stood up from the chair and pulled him into my arms. My mind played the image to Magnus’s words.

“My face was purple from bruises, my nose and lip were bleeding, even my ribs had been broken.” He murmured into my chest. “I begged him to stop, but he didn’t listen to me. When he was hitting me, I heard my mom’s voice in my head no one deserves to be in pain when in love. So, I found some strength in me and pushed him away from me. Oliver hit the wall with his head and fell to the floor. Blood pooled around his head, as his eyes were closed. I swear, I hoped that he’s dead then, even though I loved him. When I was sure that he’s not going to wake up soon, I ran out of his home to the only place I could, to the only person who could help me.”

“You went to Ragnor.”

“When he saw me, he was mad, even more. He wanted to go and kill Oliver then, but I stopped him with saying that I still loved him. Ragnor took care of me then, he did everything he could to be with me all the time. He moved with me for a while, he profusely fought with his dad so he could move out of his home. He changed his classes to be with me, to never leave me alone for more than a minute. Hell, he even started to go to the gym to gain muscles and become stronger. When he achieved this, he did the most amazing thing in the world. He beat the crap out of Oliver and threatened him, that if he ever comes close to me again, he will call the police on him. He never tried to talk to me again.”

“He’s a great friend.”

“My best friend, my brother. But even he couldn’t do everything to stop the rumors about me.” I looked at him confused. Rumors? What rumors? „You probably know them, as the whole school.”

“I don’t think so,” I admitted truthfully.

“Oh, you do. About me being the school whore?” I bit my lower lip down to stop myself from nodding. Of course, that I knew those rumors, they were very lively around the school. “Do you remember when they started?”

“Around the end of the sophomore year, I guess?” Magnus confirmed it with a simple nod.

“Just after I broke things off with Oliver. He and his loyal friends started the rumors that I’m sleeping with whoever pays me.” He snorted while saying this. “He wanted to get revenge on me for leaving him. And no one would ever believe the new kid.”

“I would believe. I do believe you, Magnus. You are not a whore.” I knew it had to be a lie. I admit I was relieved by that.

“Two months later I stopped defending myself. There was no point, no one wanted to believe me. So…” Magnus shrugged his arms nonchalantly. “That’s how I became a school’s whore. But Alexander…before you I only had been in three relationships, with Oliver, Camille, and Woolsey. Although, with Woolsey, it was only a short fling, nothing serious. In fact, you’re my first serious boyfriend, sweetcheeks. No one before was good for me, not like you. Oliver abused me, Camille and Woolsey cheated on me, so…”

When he looked in my eyes I could see how dull they were with sadness.  He was hurt by so many people in his life. It made me sick inside. I couldn’t understand, how such a wonderful being could be damaged by so many bad people. First by his father, then by the boy he gave his heart away to. He didn’t deserve it. As I held him in my arms, with lips pressed to the top of his head, I swore myself to never hurt him like that.

“I won’t hurt you, ever.”

“I know,” he kissed the place, where my heart beat. “I trust you, Alexander.”

  
  



	16. Bound to You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning. This chapter contains a few small scenes from Malec's life in this story, they're not placed in one time and they aren't put chronologically. This is just something what Magnus thinks while playing on the piano.  
> Enjoy

**Chapter XV**

**„Bound to You”**

The music room was empty, when I walked in there this morning, to work on the main song of the musical. Most of the kids were at the school’s football game, including my boyfriend. Alec went to cheer for his younger brother Jace, who was now the captain of the team after coach Garroway threw Jonathan Morgenstern out of it in the aftermath of his homophobic acting in the school. I suspected that the truth was different. I believed that Clarissa convinced him to do so, to spite her older brother.

I sat down on the chair in front of the piano and opened its clasp. White and black keys were shining so beautifully. It reminded me of the shine in Alec’s blue eyes that he had until lately. Now his eyes were still gorgeous, but they were more tired every day. Of course, Lightwood denied everything, but I can tell that he’s been very tired, yet he waved it and my concern off. He stated that he’s fine, so I believed him.

My phone started to vibrate, informing me of a new message. I took it out of my pocket and read the text from my boyfriend. He informed me of the win in the game, sending along a picture of him in the school’s team shirt and cap. He looked utterly adorable, I couldn’t help but smile at this. After I replied my congratulation to him, I loaded the pictures of Alec and me on our dates.

I placed the music sheets on the top of the piano and began to play a melody, which had formed in my head last night. As the sounds were filling the room, the words of the song were escaping my mouth so freely. I was thinking about Alec and the way he makes me feel, about all those butterflies I feel whenever we cross our eyes, about the bond I feel whenever we touch or kiss. He made me feel special, wonderful.

_ Tonight, I opened my heart to you, _

_ And you saw right me through. _

_ All my flaws and damages of the years _

_ Made my heart freeze between the walls. _

_ You slowly break the crystal prison I’ve been trapped in, _

_ So, I can be the man of your dream. _

The night was truly beautiful tonight, as we were lying in the hammock on the back of Alec’s garden. Lightwood was lying on top of me, with his head pressed against my chest. The stars were shining down on us, making sparkle my glittered skin. The air around us was nicely warm, tingling my face lightly. There was a comfortable silence between us when I stroked Alec’s arm gently to the sounds of a night.

“Beautiful,” Alec suddenly said in a hushed tone.

“What’s beautiful?” I asked, looking down at him, as he kept his ear to my chest.

“Shh, I’m listening,” he cut me off.

“To wha…”

“Your heartbeat.” He explained, interrupting me again. “It’s beautiful, like a music. My favorite sound.”

“Then you can listen to it, whenever you want, my darling.” Alec raised his eyes at me with a soft smile on his perfect lips. His blue orbs were shining as much as the stars in the dark sky.

For a moment, we were gazing into each other’s eyes, me thinking about how lucky I am to have Alec in my life. He came to my life and started to change me for better, without trying too hard. It made me realize then, that I was glad that I’ve been punished months ago, for destroying the theater room. It led me to the most amazing person in my life, who had connected my broken heart.

…

_ You’re the one who I need when the darkness comes, _

_ You’re the one that drags me back when I’m lost _

_ On the unknown waters of the world. _

_ You’re the rock that I’m willing to chain myself to. _

_ As long as we’re together, nothing can break us through. _

…

Alec stayed for a little longer, after meeting my father. He witnessed and was a victim of my rage, yet he remained by my side despite everything. He was holding my hand so tightly, as we were lying on my bed. With his other hand, he was stroking my hair, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear.

“How do you feel, Magnus? ” he asked, after what it seemed forever, kissing the top of my head.

“Better. Thank you for staying with me, Alexander.”

“Always.” Alec raised my chin with his middle finger before he kissed my lips sweetly. “I will always stay. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

“And I’m here for you, whenever you need me, Alexander.”

_ … _

_ Hold me tight, my darling,  _

_ forever I am yours. _

_ I am terrified to feel this love. _

_ But I give my heart and soul to you. _

_ Forever, I want to be bound to you. _

The sound of clasps broke me of my focus on the song. My hand slipped off the keys, as I turned my head around to spot my friend. Ragnor was leaning on the frame of the door, looking at me with a wide smile.

“It’s amazing, Maggie,” he said with honesty.

“I hate when you call me that.” He rolled his eyes to my reply and walked further into the room. I took out a paper from my bag and scribbled down the lyrics I had gotten so far. He dragged a chair from the other side of the room and sat down next to me. Ragnor looked down at the paper and smiled softly.

“Sometimes, I forget how beautiful can you sing.” He moved his hand over the keys of a piano, creating a wave of strange sounds. “Is this something new, for the play?”

“Yeah,” I admitted after a second, finishing writing the last line.

“I think it’s something more. It’s about Alec, isn’t it? The way you sang, those emotions, those words…” He made a pause and place a hand upon my own. “This is about your feelings for him, am I, right?”

“How do you…”

“It’s plainly obvious, Magnus.” Ragnor gave me one of his looks. “Do you love him?”

“I…I don’t know.” My reply wasn’t sure. Truly, I had no idea whether it was love or not. Indeed, I haven’t felt like this before, but on the other hand, I didn’t know how love should feel like. “I do care for him deeply, he makes me feel wonderful. But I don’t know how to call it just yet. But I am happy.”

“That’s good, my friend.” Ragnor squeezed my hand lightly, moving a stray hair behind my ear. “You deserve to be finally happy with Alec.”

_ … _

_ Sweet love had awakened in my heart, _

_ Letting me come out of my life's trap. _

_ You’re the angel sent to me by the God, _

_ To help me not fall again into the void. _

_ … _

I was truly surprised with how easily I could tell Alexander about my father and Oliver. I never thought that I will be able to talk about it with anyone. I haven’t even told my mother about Oliver’s treatment, yet, I’ve opened to my Alec. What was even more surprising, was the fact that Alec was very understanding about it. He hadn’t pitied me, or at least he hadn’t shown it openly. He hadn’t thought me worse for sleeping with Oliver, and for letting him hurt me so often. Alec hadn’t pushed me to say those things, but I wanted him to know the real me.

“I can hear you thinking,” Alec’s voice got me out of thinking. We were sitting on the bench in the park, enjoying the March’s midday sun. “Where are your thoughts now?”

“I’m glad that I told you about everything.” Alec looked at me confused for a moment. “About my father and Oliver. I feel so relieved now.”

“I’m glad that you trusted me with this.” The blue-eyed boy sneaked his arm around my waist drew me closer to himself. I looked around to see if someone was in the park before I dared to lean my head on his shoulder and kiss the crook of his neck.

“It’s so easy to be with you, to tell you things, Alexander.” We intertwined our hands between our sides and smiled at each other. “I like being with you, so much.”

“I like being with you too,” he admitted, stroking my hand with his thumb. “I have something for you.”

“A gift?” Alec nodded, blushing slightly as he was reaching inside his bag. It made me curious, what he had gotten for me. I tried to look, but when he retrieved his hand it was balled and hid the gift.

“Close your eyes and give me your hand, please.” I did as he asked and waited for what he could give me. I felt that he had put something light on my wrist. Alec kissed my wrist before he asked me to open my eyes.

A rainbow-colored strap bracelet was circling around my wrist. There were many colors on it: red, blue, green, yellow, purple, orange, black, white. But it wasn’t all. In the middle of it were hanging two pendants, one a silvered letter A and the other was painted in rainbow colors with blue glitter an M. “I know it’s not too much, but…when I saw it in the store I thought you’ll like it. If you don’t that’s ok…”

“I love it! It’s beautiful, perfect!” I exclaimed when I moved my fingers over the letters; they symbolized me and my blue eyed Angel. “It’s wonderful. Thank you, sweet cheeks.”

Alec smiled, relieved before I smashed our lips together in a long, passionate kiss.

“I’m glad you like it, Mags,” Alec admitted after we pulled away.

As I looked into his blue orbs, I understood that those small things Alec does for me didn’t let me fall into the void of my past. He was able to crush every wall that had been built around my heart with such ease. And for that, I would be eternally grateful. I will be grateful for him.

_ … _

_ I am bracing myself for the future days _

_ For what will come and what ways we will take. _

_ But as long as you’re by my side, _

_ Nothing can break us apart. _

_ … _

We came back to Alec’s place after my rehearsal. We could celebrate today, as I had finally memorized all my lines. We laid down on the bed and laced our hands between us.

“You were spectacular today, Mags.”

“Thank you, baby.” I turned my eyes to the big wall of pictures that Alec has near his desk.

Whenever I was here, I couldn’t stop myself from looking at them. They contained the most precious people to Alec. You could find the photo of his parents, his siblings, Ellie, Simon, Clary and me, of course. But something was missing there. I let go of his hand and walked to the pictures. I looked closer at them and found out that there was no picture of Alec and me, together. Had we forgotten to do them? In fact, I couldn’t recall if we had so much as one photo together. I had many pictures of Alec on my phone and in the frame in my house, but we didn’t have a single picture together. It had to be changed immediately. I looked around the room again, but I didn’t spot the thing I’ve been looking for.

“Where’s your camera?”

“What?” Alec was confused by my question. He sat up on the bed and waited for my explanation.

“You don’t have pictures of us on your wall.” I pointed to the wall. Alec got up from the bed and walked closer to me. “See?”

“You’re here.” Alec pointed to the photo of me with his stern look.

“But there’s no photo of you and me, together. I want us to have some, please?” When I turned around to him, I tried my best to give him the puppy eyes. I knew that he wouldn’t turn me down then, who would?

Twenty minutes later we found the camera at the back of Alec’s closet. When he handed it to me, he stood awkwardly next to me and bit his lip down. I realized that he didn’t like taking pictures of himself, but still, I wanted a picture of us. An idea came to my mind then. The best picture I could get is the one taken out of surprise. That was my master plan.

I placed the camera on the nightstand and pushed Alec back on the bed. I straddled his hips and kissed him on the mouth. The kiss was passionate like always, involving moaning and hands roaming over bodies. When we parted, Alec was flushed, his eyes shone with excitement, his lips were pink from kissing. He looked gorgeous, so I took the camera and took the picture of him.

“Adorable!” I told him when I saw the picture on the screen.

“Delete it! It’s terrible.” Alec tried to take the camera from my hands, but I stopped him.

“Oh no, Mister,” I kissed the top of his nose. “This picture stays.”

I was lying on Alec’s chest in one of the pictures. In another one, I was kissing his cheek while he grinned to the camera with rosy cheeks. In the third, Alec was pressing his lips to mine and I had the surprise in my eyes. In fourth, we were doing kissing faces. At one we were laughing, so it was a bit blurry but still beautiful. At other Alec was squeezing me tight from behind while he kept his chin on my shoulder.

“This is great, it will be on the wall,” he said looking down at the photo in the camera.

“I hoped that all of them will be there.” I winked at him.

“No…I’m not placing there the one where we’re making-out Mags. It’s only for us.” The redness on his cheeks was lovely.

Day by day I was falling for him more. And I never wanted to let him walk away.

_ … _

_ They say the true love doesn’t exist anymore, _

_ But I feel that they are truly wrong. _

_ What you have awakened in me, _

_ Must be the everlasting feel, _

_ Of a true love. _

_ Please don’t stop loving me. _

_ For all I want you to see, _

_ That I’ve given my heart and soul to you. _

_ Forever, I want to be bound to you. _

_ I want to be… _

_ Bound to you. _

As I sang the last line of the song, I opened my eyes and looked straight into Alec’s blue ones. He was standing on the stage along with the rest of the crew. Miss Blackwell was sitting on the chair, with a tissue covering her mouth, tears were trailing down her cheeks. I looked around and saw that most of the people were shocked, and some even had tears in their eyes.

“It was so beautiful, Magnus,” Lacey’s voice was trembling, as she placed her hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly. “I didn’t know you had such a talent. It’s amazing.”

“Lacey is right. It’s a wonderful song, Magnus.” Miss Blackwell agreed with the younger girl.

“Thank you,” for the first time in my life I felt shy. No one had praised my music, except for friends and family. Maybe I had an ounce of musical talent in me? “I wrote it for…for the play. Lacey and I can sing it since it’s about love and struggles of a life…and yeah.”

“That’s a wonderful idea!” Miss Blackwell exclaimed before her smile dropped. “But, are you sure, Magnus? It’s very…” she looked me in the eye and then looked at Alec before she turned her eyes back on me. “It’s very emotional song. Are you sure you want to sing it in public?”

“Yes.”

Later, as we were heading to my car, Alec laced our hands together.

“It’s truly a beautiful song, Mags.”

“Did you like it?” He nodded eagerly. “Good. I’m glad that you liked it.”

I kissed Alec softly on his lips when we leaned over the door of the car. He was my muse for the song and even more. He was the muse and an Angel for my future days, a man that has found a way into my broken heart. A man that I have bound myself to in a hope of a true love.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of the song is "Bound to You". It's written by me, so all rights belong to me.  
> Hope you liked the chapter.  
> Comments will be appreciated.


	17. Lying was never a way to my heart

**Chapter XVI**

**„Lying was never a way to my heart”**

A shake brought me back from the dream of me and Magnus on the beach, a very pleasant dream in fact. I heard a faint sound of my mother voice before I decided to open one eye.

“Alec, wake up, honey. ” She was sitting on my bed, looking down at me with her deep blue eyes.

“Huh?”

“Good morning, son. Time to wake up to take your meds. ” Maryse placed the tray with a glass of water and three pills on the nightstand, before she turned her gaze back at me. With a heavy heart, I sat up on the bed and allowed her to hand me medication for today. “How do you feel today?”

“Good, I think.” She narrowed her brows at my response. “I don’t feel sick nor I have a headache, mom. I’m fine, you can stop worrying about me, I’m not dying yet.”

Her face went paler than usual, making me regret my words in that moment. I knew she couldn’t control her worry.

“I’m sorry, mom, but I do feel fine, really. The meds are helping me.”

“I know, ” she admitted in a half-whisper, avoiding my eyes. Instead, she grabbed my hand and stroked it lightly. “I can’t stop worrying, Alexander. You’re my child, my firstborn, I will always worry about you, especially now, when there’s another rise of lymphocytes in your blood, sweetheart.”

“I know, mom, but believe me, those meds will help me, ” I tried to say it with as much confidence as I could muster then. I had to believe that. I needed to be healthy again if only to have a nice future with my boyfriend. “They will help me.”

Mom smiled reassuringly, patting me on a hand when the door of my bedroom opened. Isabelle, Jace, and Max walked inside and quickly sat on the bed next to me. Maryse gave each of us a kiss on the forehead before she walked out of the room, leaving us to ourselves.

“Will your boyfriend come here today, Alec?” Max asked, smiling widely at me. His new glasses fell on my covers. I helped him put them back on his nose before I answered.

“Yes, I believe so.” His smile became even wider at my words. “We will come back here after our movie date.”

“Great!” His sudden joy made the rest of us suspicious. Isabelle looked at Max questioningly when he batted his eyelashes at me. The kid has learned this from Magnus, to make me do some things. “Will he read Naruto books with me, the new one that dad bought me last week?”

“But you do realize that Magnus is Alec’s boyfriend?” Jace pointed out to him with an obvious look.

“And?”

“This means,” Isabelle decided to answer, ruffling his hair. “That Magnus will come to spend some time with Alec, not with us, kid.”

“But Alec will have him through the whole movie date.” Max’s pout was both cute and disturbing. As Jace’s and Isabelle’s voice sank into my mind, I could feel my cheeks turn hot. I never liked to talk with my siblings about my love life, especially now, where there was an existing one. Max turned his eyes full of plea at me. “Please?”

“I’m sure that if you ask Magnus, then he’ll read with you.” Max squealed and hugged me tightly, even though he was just nine and was thin, he had some strength in his body. He released me when I hissed in a slight pain. For a moment, I wondered, was it my sickness making me weak?

Max jumped out of the bed and raced out of my bedroom, leaving me with Isabelle and Jace.

“He’s getting weirder day by day, just like you, Jace,” Isabelle commented, sitting closer to me on the bed, where Max was sitting seconds before. Jace just stuck his tongue at our sister. “Anyway, how’s your loverboy, Alec?”

“He’s goo…” As I tried to get up from the bed, my head felt light immediately. My feet legs were shaking, my feet faltered and soon I was falling to the floor. If it wasn’t for Jace’s quick reaction, I would crush my face over the hard, wooden floor.

“Alec! Alec! ” Isabelle’s voice was getting through the slowed sounds in my room. “Alec!”

“M’fine,” I muttered, as Jace laid me back on the bed. I blinked a few times when I felt some hot hand on my forehead. “M’fine.”

“Fine, my ass,” I heard my brother. “Go for mom, Izzy and call to dad, we’re taking Alec to a hospital.”

“No!” I stated firmly, trying to sit up on the bed, but Jace held me down with his arms. “I’m fine! I just stood up too quickly. I need to drink some water and eat something and I’ll be good as new.” They gave me their unconvinced look. If you wouldn’t know better, you could tell that Izzy and Jace were blood-related, for sure they had the same facial expressions when it came to my person. “I will be ok. I need to go to school today.”

“What you need is rest, Alec,” Isabelle covered me with a thin blue blanket, I had gotten from mom five years ago. “You’re staying home today.”

“No,” I tried to fight them off, but they were stronger. “I need to go to school. What am I going to tell Magnus this time, huh? That I’m at the dentist again?”

“Maybe the truth?” I was shocked that Jace proposed that. Never have I ever thought that he will be ok with me dating Magnus, and now he wanted me to not lie to him anymore? My brother for sure had changed. “He’s not stupid, Alec, he will become suspicious soon. Hell, he already is, he came to me to talk about your nose bleed last month. I think he deserves to know the truth.”

“Since when you are best friends with my boyfriend, huh?”

“I’m not, but let me tell you something, brother. No one likes to be lied to, especially in such important matter.”

“I’m not ready yet. I will tell him, but not yet.”

I knew that they were right. I needed to tell Magnus the truth, I couldn’t lie to him anymore when he shared his deepest secrets with me. But I wasn’t ready yet. For all, I hoped for my health to not betray me now, when I was trying to gain some courage to tell Magnus about my leukemia.

Unfortunately, my body decided otherwise.

The time was running slow today as if it tried to show me something important that I’ve been missing. The air around me seemed to be thicker, hotter, making me tired with every next minute. I was fighting with myself to stay focused on teacher’s words during classes, and later when the lunch break finally came, I struggled to keep my eyes opened. Something was banging in my head, and before I realized I put it on Magnus’s shoulder as we were sitting next to each other. For once, I was glad that he decided to wear a sleeveless shirt in the middle of March in school, his shoulder and arm were nicely cool.

“Are you alright, Alexander?” Magnus stroked my hair lightly, as he spoke. “Sweetheart?”

“I’m just a bit tired, but I’ll be fine.” He placed his cool hand over my forehead. It was so nice, that I needed to fight off a moan; we were at the school after all. “I’m fine.”

“Fine, my ass,” he used the same words that Jace this morning. “Alec, you’re warm. I think you’re coming down with something. We’re canceling the movie date, and you’re going home now. I’ll call your dad to come and pick you up, and I’ll come to see you after classes.”

“No, I’m fine. We’ve planned the date weeks ago, I want to go to the movies. You wanted to see this movie…”

“Screw the movie, Alec,” he didn’t use my full name, which usually meant that he won’t back down on his words. “You’re going home, I mean it.”

“No,” I argued more, moving my head from his shoulder. “I’m staying here, we don’t have to go to the movies, but I’m staying in school. I’m fine, Mags. I just need to eat something and I’ll be good, I promise.”

“Fine,” he muttered under his nose. “But the moment you feel worse, I’m getting your cute ass to my car and drive you home, ok?”

“Deal.”

In the end of the day, Magnus didn’t even have to drive me back home. Something unexpected happened.

We were sitting in math, me at the front, with Kelsey, Magnus in the back with Ragnor, as always. Despite being together, we weren’t sitting together on each class, to not cause unwanted attention. Bane respected my wish and agreed to sit with Ragnor in almost every class.

I was resolving a math equation, when a painful wave hit my head, making me hiss. The pen I was holding fell to the floor with a loud thud. Some voices were talking above me, even some moves happened before my blurred vision. When I finally focused on them, I spotted Mr. Starkweather standing before me with a concern written all over his face.

“Alec?”

“Yes? ” I managed to say, as waves of warmth were hitting my body. It didn’t herald something good for sure. I just hoped that I will survive till the end of the class, so I could leave without Magnus’s prying into it. “Yes, Sir?”

“Are you ok? ” he gave me a knowing look. Of course, teachers at school knew about my illness. Mother and father made them aware of my condition three years ago when we found out about leukemia.

“I’m perfectly fine, sir.” I wasn’t sure if my fake smile convinced him, but he cut off the questioning. Yet, he kept giving me his looks, as if he tried to see if I was lying. I needed to distract them all from this little episode of mine, so I decided to resolve the math problem on the blackboard for everyone’s sake. Yet, I had no idea how bad it will end up for me then.

As I got up and walked towards the blackboard, I felt my legs trailing behind me. My whole body became heavier, hotter in one minute. My heart was beating faster, my breath was becoming shallow. As I tried to raise my hand to write down the answer, I felt dizzy immediately, as the blood was running from my nose. The last thing I saw, was scared golden-green eyes of my boyfriend, who was screaming my name, running towards me.

Then the darkness engulfed me.

* * *

 

Magnus POV:

I couldn’t help but observe Alec the entire day. The stubborn boy refused to go home, even though it was obvious he didn’t feel well enough. As much as I would like to get him into a car and drive back home, I couldn’t force him to anything. I trusted Alec to be responsible and to trust me with everything, as I trusted him. I trusted Alec to tell me if he’ll feel worse than in the lunch, just as he promised. Yet, the promise didn’t soothe my nerves at all.

When the math came, I kept my eyes glued to my boyfriend. It would be an easier job if I could sit with him by one desk, but I couldn’t. So, instead, I had to watch him from a distance.

“It’s getting boring, Magnus.” Ragnor’s voice broke my observations. I turned around and shot him a confused look. “You staring at the blue-eyed wonder. It makes me want to throw up.”

Ragnor made a gesture of throwing up, for what I punched him in his arm. We would probably hit each other slightly more if it weren’t for the concerned voice of our teacher when he addressed my boyfriend. My eyes immediately turned back at the black-haired beauty, and I discovered that he tried to hide the scowl from Mr. Starkweather.

“I’m perfectly fine, Sir.”

Alec got up from his seat and walked towards the blackboard, although one could not call it walking. In fact, Alec was trailing his legs behind himself, his body seemed to fall an inch with every next step. I didn’t know when I stood up and started to run towards Alec, screaming his name. His body trembled, as he turned around. Blood was dripping from his nose right on the white floor. He opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t. In one moment, his body collapsed to the floor and my heart stopped for a second.

“Alec! Alec! ” Mr. Starkweather was calling him, but my boyfriend didn’t respond. In no time, I was by his side, kneeling with my hand squeezing his. Suddenly my mind was empty, I didn’t know what to do, so I prayed to anyone who could hear me, so my boy would be alright.

“Sweetie…Darling…” I lightly shook his arm, but Alec was still unresponsive. I saw our teacher checking his pulse and breathing in a relief. “Alec…honey, wake up…”

Tears were streaking down my face, smearing my make-up on its way, but I could care less for my state now. Alexander was the most important.

“Go for the nurse, Jordan.” Mr. Starkweather said above me, as I squeezed Alec’s hand to my lips, kissing his knuckles. “And someone calls 911.”

“I’m calling!” Catarina replied in a hurry before the door of the classroom opened and the nurse ran in along with Jordan Kyle.

“Move away,” the older woman ordered us. I was reluctant to let go of Alec, but Mr. Starkweather dragged me back to make the place for the nurse. She started to check Alec’s pulse and breathing. “What happened?”

“He fainted, he was bleeding out of his nose. He felt warm before, today,” I’ve managed to say with a trembling voice. “What’s going on with him?”

Before she got a chance to reply, the paramedics walked inside the classroom and took over from there. My eyes were on Alec’s pale face when they put the breathing mask on him and put him on the stretcher.

“What’s his name?”

“Alexander Lightwood, he’s eighteen.” The nurse said to the doctor, as she walked them out of the room.

“Any meds he’s on?”

“Only vita…” I didn’t finish, as I saw that our nurse is whispering some stuff to the other doctor and he kept nodding to her. In that moment, I knew that something was terribly wrong here.

“We’re taking him to Beth Israel then.” As if on a cue, I got up from the floor and ran behind them, only to be stopped by the ambulance. “Are you his family?”

“I’m his boyfriend, I need to go with him, please.”

“I’m sorry,  only the family.” He closed the door before my nose and drove off, leaving me in complete shock.

I didn’t know, how long I was standing there, in the parking lot wearing no jacket, before Ragnor found me in tears.

“Magnus? ” He put his arms around me to hug or warm me, I didn’t know.

“Drive me there, please. I need to be with him.” I didn’t remember the ride or how I walked into the hospital. The last thing I remembered was Ragnor snatching the car keys from my jeans pocket, the next I’m shouting at the lady in a register to tell me where my boyfriend is. “Alexander Lightwood was brought here, where is he?!”

“Are you his family?”

“I’m his boyfriend…”

“Only family can grant access to this information unless the right will be granted to you by the family.”

“For heaven’s sa…” Ragnor put his hand over my mouth and dragged me towards the ER. He pushed me to sit on the uncomfortable, plastic chair and ordered to stay put, while he talked to the doctors.

“Excuse me, ” he caught some doctor, who left the ER. “I’m Jace Lightwood, I was told that my brother, Alexander, was brought here. Where is he, how is he?”

“Are you sure, you’re his brother? You look nothing alike.”

“I’m adopted.” He smiled awkwardly at the doctor, but the older man didn’t question it.

“For now, I can tell you that he’s stable. We’ve managed to stop his nosebleed and gave him proper medications for his state. And his doctor will tell you more.” He waved at someone behind Ragnor’s back. Soon, a middle-aged woman with dark hair, wearing a white coat was standing next to the ER doctor. “Doctor Anderson, tell Alexander’s brother, Jace, some more of his state. I have a surgery to attend.”

“I would, but that’s not Jace Lightwood.” Ragnor gave them a sheepish smile and looked at me meaningfully. “Who are you?”

“I’m…” her eyes moved to me, as I started to speak.

“You must be Magnus,” she addressed me with a smile on her face. “Alec told me about you.”

“How is he? Please, tell me.” Her smile dropped and she put a hand over my arm to squeeze it lightly in reassuring. “Please, will he be ok?”

“He will, but I can’t tell you more without his or Maryse’s consent. I called her already, she’s on her way.”

When I was left alone with Ragnor before the ER, I couldn’t help but wonder. This doctor Anderson knew Alec apparently, after all, she knew about me. That meant that Alec had to visit her recently. But why? He was perfectly healthy, he said so. I cursed myself for not reading her label, from what department she was.

“Are you ok? ” Ragnor sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. It sank in my mind then. Alec was on ER, he was somehow ill. And I had no idea what was going on with him. “Hey, he’ll be ok. Don’t cry, Mags, Alec will be alright. I know it.”

* * *

 

ALEC POV

A familiar sound of beeping woke me. As I opened my eyes, the bright light blinded me for a second. I heard someone call my name in a muffled voice before I felt someone’s touch on my arm. I didn’t remember anything but the blackboard in the classroom and Magnus’s terrified look. Then there was nothing, a blackness in my mind.

“Where…am…”

“Alec, can you hear me?” A familiar voice spoke to me. What was she doing in my school?

“Mom? What…” I dared to open my eyes and blinked a few times to accustom them to the brightness of a room I was currently in. I looked around and saw the white walls and medical beds.

Hospital. I was in a fucking hospital.

Everything came back to me at the instance. Magnus calling my name, my fainting. His scared cat eyes.

“Sweetie?” Mom stroked my cheek, forcing me to look at her. Her face was full of worry. Suddenly her face was replaced by a bright point light moving from side to side. My eyes followed the light on their own.

“Alec?”

“Doctor Anderson?” I recognized her voice immediately. “What happened?”

“You fainted during one of your classes. You’ve been brought here unconscious.” The doctor was explaining, reading some notes from a card. “We took your blood and tested it, I’ll have the results in an hour, but I fear that there’s another rise of lymphocytes in your blood, Alec.”

“I’m fine, really…”

“You’re not, Alexander,” mom stated firmly, grabbing my hand in her hot one. “Isabelle told me about this morning, and Magnus told me that you felt warm at school. You had three nose bleeds lately, and now you fainted. It’s serious, Alec.”

“Maryse is right. I’m going to do some more tests and prescribe you a new set of meds, Alec.” the doctor spoke again, writing something down. “If they won’t help, I’m afraid we’ll have to start the chemotherapy again.”

Suddenly the room became even colder, my heart slowed its beating. It couldn’t be true! I couldn’t be sick again! Not now, not when I had someone to live for. Not when I found something to fight for. Not when I found love.

“Magnus is still waiting outside,” she pointed out while walking towards the door. “Do you want me to call him in?”

“Not yet,” I responded quickly, trying to gain composure of myself. He could not see me in such a state, with tears running down my cheek. “And don’t tell him anything.”

“He deserves to know, Alec,” mom said, as soon as doctor Anderson left the room. “He’s been sitting here the whole time, crying and shaking. You must tell him the truth, son.”

“I know, but I’m not ready yet.”

“He cares a lot about you,” she helped me sit up on the bed, and kissed the top of my head. “You must tell him eventually. It’s not nice to lie to Magnus.”

“I know.” I sighed out. “I will tell him, but not today.”

I wiped the remains of tears in the covers and took a deep breath.

“Let him in, mom.” She nodded to my request and went for Magnus. As soon as he stepped into the room, he ran towards me and took me in his arms. It was so great to feel him, to smell his sweet scent.

“Are you ok, baby?” Tears were shining in his cat eyes when he looked at me. I hated myself in that moment, for all I’ve caused this state in him. Magnus didn’t deserve to be hurt by me, but I couldn’t let him go. Not now, not ever. He roamed his hands all over my face, checking for any abnormality. “I was so scared, Alexander. Are you ok now?”

“I’m fine,” he looked me deep in the eye, unconvinced by my words. “I have a…anemia and that’s why I fainted. I need to rest for a few days and take some meds, but I’ll be fine. I promise you, Mags. I’ll be fine.” Mother was shaking her head at me with sadness in her blue eyes when I hugged Magnus closer to me. I knew that I couldn’t lie to him forever, he didn’t deserve it. But I wanted to remain in my fairytale for a little longer. “Everything will be fine.”

It had to be.

  
  



	18. Fairytale gone bad

**Chapter XVII**

**“Fairytale gone bad** ”

Alec was finally back home from the hospital. He spent there four nights since he had fainted at the school. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could easily see him bleeding out of his nose and falling to the floor. My heart stopped then for a moment, only to beat frantically in the next second. I’ve never been so scared for someone, before. it was the most frightening thing in my life, even more than my earlier abusing.

Apparently, Alec had an anemia, which caused the bleeding and fainting. His doctor said that he had been sick for a while now, but they had his sickness under control. So I believed them for a while, but then I looked up for this illness on the Internet. Indeed, the most of the symptoms were those that Alec had, so for now, it sated my mind. But I felt that there’s something more to the story, something that I couldn’t imagine back then.

Later, it turned out that it was my worst nightmare, and it happened just in our five month anniversary.

* * *

 

I walked to the kitchen in the Wednesday’s morning and found my mother smiling at the screen of her phone. As soon as she heard me, she locked it and shoved into the pocket of her jeans.

“Good morning, sweetheart!” she greeted me with a cup of coffee; that woman knew a way to my heart in the morning.

“Good morning, mom,” I kissed her cheek and took the cup, only to take one sip, before I smiled widely at her. Today was the day that I’ll tell her about my plan for the weekend, after all, she plays a big part of it. “You look wonderful today, mommy, I love the blouse.”

“Ok? What do you want?” Her golden eyes tried to see me through.

“Can’t a son compliment his own mother?” I tried to play a little more before the begs shall begin. “You look truly fantastic.”

“Ok, Mister, I know you better than myself,” she sat down on the stool next to me and pushed the cup to the further part of our wooden table. “You only compliment me, when you want something, Magnus Bane. So what is it?”

“Could you reserve a table for me and Alec in Atelier for Friday evening? ” She looked surprised when I asked her this question. I wondered, what had she expected me to ask? For money or something more extreme? “We have our five month anniversary and I wanted to take him for an official date, you know, dinner, flowers, a dance and all that jazz. Please?”

“Fine,” I squealed with joy after she agreed, but as always there was a catch in her agreement. “But, you’ll have to come and help Ragnor clean tables on Saturday evening. Deal?”

“Deal!” We shook our hands to seal the agreement. “You’re the best mom in the whole world!”

“I want that printed on a card!” she called after me when I was running to the door to ride to school before I’ll be late.

I had a place for our date, but still, there was a matter of an anniversary gift. This is where my mind and heart couldn’t help me, so I needed to get another set of helpers.

I never thought that I’d say I can’t find anything in the mall. Yet, here I was, wandering through the mall for the past three hours with my best friends, looking for a perfect gift for my boyfriend. But nothing seemed to catch my eye so far. Of course, there were many beautiful things here that I could buy for Alec, but nothing was screaming to me.

“Buy him a CD,” Ragnor prompted, as we passed the music store. “Everyone likes music. You said yourself that he likes that emo music.”

“It’s not emo, it’s rock,” I corrected him, moving forward to catch with Catarina and Tessa. Girls were gossiping about something truly interesting, as they hadn’t heard me approaching them. I grabbed them by their elbows and stopped. “Besides, buying a CD for an anniversary gift is lame.”

“Then make him a CD,” Tessa added her idea to the pool.

“Are we back in the nineties? Kids were making those back then.” My friends rolled their eyes and sighed loudly. “This is a disaster! I don’t remember having any problems with buying gifts before, and now I can’t even come up with anything! I suck on this.”

“It’s because you love him, dummy,” Catarina spoke with her lecturing tone. “You love Alec and this is why it’s so hard. But think about him, about what he likes, what he makes you feel and you’ll find your perfect gift.”

“When did you become so smart?” Ragnor asked his girlfriend with a cocky smile. Ragnor and Catarina had gotten together three weeks ago, and so far, they managed to do good. They hadn’t killed each other so far, so I decided that they were good to each other, even though, they bantered like crazy all the time. But maybe it was their sign of love?

“I’ve always been smart, Ragnor. It’s you, who…” I didn’t hear the rest of their love-banter since my eyes had caught something interesting. At the shelf behind the glass was lying a perfect gift for my beloved. I walked inside immediately and took it in my hands. The color wasn’t ideal, but I hoped that they had others as well.

“Can I help you?” I heard a light female voice behind my back. I turned around and spotted a twenty-or-so aged girl, with curly honey-brown hair. She was smiling at me, batting her black lashes as she was trying to flirt with me.

“I need one of those.” She nodded to my request and invited me to the cash register. “Are there other colors available?”

“Of course,” she confirmed. “With a small surcharge, you can have it engraved even.”

“Great! ” I exclaimed loudly with a grin on my face. “I want one that’s deep blue, maybe indigo one with the inscription: Alec plus Magnus and a date below: November 13th, 2012.”

“Ok. I’ll have it ready in three hours, is that ok?” I nodded to that. “It will be eighty-seven dollars and fifty cents. Do you pay in cash or with a card?”

I left her money and walked out of the store with a satisfied smile. I had a perfect gift for my boyfriend, a dinner was waiting for us. Now I just needed to get ready for this evening and to tell him something I had realized lately.

* * *

 

We were sitting in the Atelier, in the back of the restaurant, by a fireplace. The stars in the night sky were cascading its light on Alec’s pale face, making him glow like an angel. He looked truly handsome today, with his black hair combed, shortened so it didn’t fall in his beautiful blue eyes. He wore a nice, navy blue dress shirt and black jeans, matching his black leather jacket. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, so I could see the small blue marks of the needle from IV. But tonight, I decided to not dwell on his anemia, but to enjoy our small celebration.

My mother set the course of the dinner before us; pasta di pesto and a grape juice, since none of us were 21 yet. Alec was eating fast, as usual, while I was enjoying the dish.

“It’s amazing,” he commented after he sipped his drink. “We need to thank your mom for this dinner.”

“I already had, I will come here to work on Saturday with Ragnor.” Alec bit his lip down and looked at me uncertainly. He pulled out a small, red velvet box from his pocket and placed it on the table. “Oh, no, no, no.”

“Huh?”

“We’ll wait with the gifts, ok? I can’t give you mine here, so…” He looked confused at me but agreed with my request.

“I…am…you look really beautiful, Magnus,” he said so quietly that for a moment, I wondered if I didn’t imagine it. “I like your shirt.”

“Thank you for your compliments, darling,” Alec blushed at my response in his gorgeous way. “You look handsome too. Did Isabelle tell you to compliment me?”

“Er…n..no… I did myself,” the embarrassed look in his eyes told me that it’s a small lie, but I could take it. “I like you without makeup, you look nice.”

“That’s so sweet, baby.” I truly loved his red cheeks. “Shall we go for a walk?”

We were slowly walking hand in hand through the Central Park. The air around us was a bit chilly, but Alec didn’t seem to be cold. I was truly proud of him, he hadn’t been bothered by the looks some people were giving us, as we were walking towards our destination. Day by day, Alexander became more comfortable with our being together and with his own self.

“Where are you taking me? ” he asked suddenly, squeezing my hand lightly.

“To give you your gift, of course.”

“And it’s somewhere here?” Alec inquired with a confused tone, gesturing with his other hand on the space before us.

“It’s here,” I responded when we stopped at the Reservoir Bridge. Alec was even more lost in this whole situation when I pulled out a wooden box out of my bag.

“On the bridge? ” I nodded, smiling widely at him. “I just hope that you’re not giving me a goldfish, Mags. I had one when I was ten, but I was so busy to even take a proper care of it.”

“I assure you, that there’s something else in this wooden box.” I placed the item in his hands and encouraged him to open it. There was a confused frown on his face when he moved the lid up.

“It’s a padlock.” His answer was surprising, but I couldn’t decide whether the shock was positive or negative. “I’m not sure I follow this.”

“Take it out, Alexander and see for yourself.” He did as asked, but his confusion didn’t disappear. “I want us to put this padlock here, on the bridge of lovers as a sign of our lo…as a symbol of us.”

When Alec read the engraving, his eyes shone with tears, but he didn’t let them escape. Instead, he smiled shyly at me and leaned up to kiss me. When our lips met, sparks burst between us, as always, making my knees weak. Alec clasped our hands together and we locked the padlock on the barrier of the bridge. He looked me deeply in the eyes before he pulled out the small red box from earlier.

I opened it slowly, not because I expected a ring in it; this isn’t a movie, but because I knew it will be something truly amazing. And I wasn’t wrong. Inside of the box was a gorgeous golden necklace with a small heart pendant.

“I didn’t know, whether you’ll like it as a necklace, but if you don’t that’s ok. We can place the pendant on the bracelet I gave you earlier, it’s rea…” I didn’t let him finish when I crushed my lips over his in a sweet, short kiss. “So you like it?”

“I love it, Alexander. It’s perfect.”

We walked around the park for a little more, until we stopped by a simple bench. I made Alec sit down, as I saw that he’s slightly trembling.

“Sweetie?”

“I’m ok, just a bit cold.” I took off my jacket and placed it on his shoulders before I began to rub them to provide him some heat. “I need to tell you something.”

“Me too,” A stray hair hung loosely from Alec’s left side of a face, so I put it back behind his ear. “And I’m extremely nervous…”

“You can go first.” He smiled softly, pushing his hands into the pockets of my white jacket.

“Ok…” I took a deep breath and looked Alec in his blue eyes. They were shining in the light of the moon, which just appeared in the dark blue sky. Alec’s pale skin glowed, making him look like an angel, my very own blue-eyed Angel. “I realized it a while ago, but I guess, I’ve been scared to tell you. I’ve never felt like this before, Alexander, you and all of this are very new for me. Sometimes, I don’t know how to react to the feelings you’re causing in me.” He looked at me slightly confused, but he didn’t dare to stop me. “When you came into my life when we crossed our eyes when I came to be a tutor for the punishment, you…it was like an earthquake. You rocked my world, then, Alexander, and you keep doing that ever since. I’m so happy with you, sweet pea, I’ve never been happier in my whole life, or at least not for a long time now. When you hold me, I can let myself feel safe and cared for. You make me feel all those things that I can’t even name properly. When you look at me, with your beautiful, blue eyes, my heart and knees are weak and I’m afraid I’ll fall to the ground.”

“I would be there to catch you, you know,” Alec added silently.

“I know, because I trust you, with everything, Alec. I trust you with my heart because you saw the good in me. You saw me differently than the rest of the world.”

“Magnus…”

“Just let me finish, ok? You make me smile so much, that sometimes I think my jaw will break. You make my heart go crazy, whenever you kiss or touch me. You’re the only thing I see, when we’re together, the whole world stops when you hold me in your arms.” Alec’s cheeks were red in seconds. “Do you remember when we kissed for the first time?” he nodded. “I swear, the sparks flew between us then. I felt like a princess when you chose me. A princess, who had finally found her Prince Charming. You are my fairytale, Alexander Gideon Lightwood.” Alec lowered his eyes to the ground and his body started to shake. “What I’m trying to say is…”

He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand.

“I love you, Alexander.”

There, I said it, and I had to admit that I felt relieved, when I had done it. My heart was lighter, my head was clearer, my hands stopped trembling. Now I just had to wait for Alec’s equally sweet response, but unfortunately, it never came.

“I’m sorry…I can’t…” he whispered, raising his eyes full of tears at me. “I’m so sorry.”

“This isn’t the reaction that I expected, but it’s fine, darling. You’re not obligated to say those words to me now.”

“I may not have the time to do so at all…” even though his voice was shaking and quiet, I understood his words perfectly. Yet, I couldn’t grasp its real meaning.

“What are you talking about?”

“I was so stupid to believe that I can have a nice future with you, Magnus.” Tears trailed down his cheeks, but Alec didn’t wipe them off. “They were all telling me to tell you earlier, but I couldn’t. Even after you had told me about your dad and Oliver, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. I didn’t want to break this sweet fairytale we had between us. You were, you are a miracle sent to me by someone up in there, and I swear, I wanted to be selfish for once and not let you go. Although I knew that I shouldn’t, I kept lying to you all this time.”

Alec’s words were so confusing for me at the moment. I didn’t understand a single thing he was saying.

“I fucked up entirely, and I know you will hate me for it.”

“It’s not possible, sweetie. Whatever it is, we can work it out together. I love you, Alexander.” I assured him, by grabbing his hand in mine, but Alec didn’t seem to believe me. “I love you.”

“I’m sick.” He admitted, lowering his gaze once more. “Those symptoms…the nosebleeds, fainting, sleeping all the time…they are symptoms of my illness.”

“Anemia, like you told me, right?” Alec bit his lower lip when he shook his head. “Alec…”

“No. I have LLA,” I kept my mouth closed, as I didn’t know the term. “I have leukemia.”

The whole world stopped at once, the sky became gray, everything around us was blurred by tears, which were escaping my eyes then. My heart ceased its beating, as three words light up in my mind.

_ Leukemia. Cancer. Death. _

I covered my mouth with a hand and involuntarily moved away from Alec. The pain hit my whole body in a one enormously wave, causing me to fight for breath. Yet, despite the want to run away from the source of it, I needed answers.

“How…long do you…know?” my voice trembled as I asked him.

“Almost three years now. I’ve been in a remission, but apparently, it’s back.”

Three years?! Three years?! I couldn’t place this right in my mind.

“You’ve been lying to me?! The whole time!” I attacked him with a harsh tone, full of anger, fear, and pain. “When did you want to tell me?! When?! We’ve been together for five months Alec! When?!”

“I…”

“If you’d be still in remission, would you even tell me?! Would you?!”

“I don’t know…”

“For fuck’s sake, Alec!” I got up and started to pace before the bench, anger boiling inside of me. “This is a serious matter! You’re sick and you kept the truth from me! Do you even trust me? I trusted you with my deepest secrets and you were lying to me the whole time! Whenever I asked you if you’re alright, you’ve been lying to me!”

People were staring at us, more at me as I was screaming at my boyfriend.

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry is not good enough!” I refused to look at him and instead dropped my eyes on the balled fists. I wanted to punch something now, badly. “How could you do this to me?! How could you lie to me for so long?!”

“I’m so sorry, Magnus. I’m sorry.” Alec got up from the bench and ran away from me, leaving me with chaotic mind and a broken heart.

The loud howl mixed with a cry escaped my mouth, as the truth sank in my mind. Alexander had been lying to me from the beginning of our relationship, and God knows if he lied to me about anything else.

My heart was hurt terribly, my mind was throbbing with all the chaos in my heart.

The last thing I noticed that night was that my sweet little Angel was sick and I couldn’t do anything about it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dum, dum, dum...let the season of drama begin. As you could read, Magnus finally knows the truth. The big question is, what now, right?   
> Hopefully, you liked it.


	19. Flames of love

 

**Chapter XVIII**

**„Flames of love”**

A loud, throbbing pain woke me up this day, forcing a lump to form in my throat. Before my mind could understand the meaning, my body got up from the bed on their own and ran into a familiar direction of the bathroom. Luckily the toilet lid was up, so I started to retching into it. The horrible feeling of burning was making me even sicker than I already was.

“Wanna some water? ” Some voice said behind my back. “You look like a mess.”

“Ragnor? ” I mumbled, laying my cheek on the cold, clean part of the toilet seat. It was so nice to me.

“That’s disgusting.” The moment he spoke those words, I felt another wave of nauseous. Thankfully, Ragnor was so thoughtful to grab my hair and hold them, so I wouldn’t throw up at them. “You really lost it, last night.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t remember?” He held a glass of water by my mouth and helped me sip. “I was called by Trent, to come and take your drunken ass out of the Exotic, before you’d get him fired.”

Ragnor’s voice was so loud to my hurt ears.

“Stop screaming, idiot, my head will burst.”

“I’m not shouting,” he replied, helping me get up from the floor and walked me back to my room. I spotted a trash can by my bed, thankfully it was empty. “You have a hangover, Magnus, a bad one. What happened last night to make you drink so much? All the time in my car, when you weren’t throwing up…by the way, you’re paying for cleaning my car from your vomit and I believe you even peed in there, or before I took you. You reeked when I found you.” His words were so confusing to me then. “You were repeating something about Alec and that he will die. What’s going on, Mags?”

When the last words of Ragnor sank in my mind, the events of last night came back to my mind as a painful wave. I saw crying Alec, us fighting, me screaming at him, but I couldn’t hear the words between us. Until…the main part played out in my mind.

I love you.

I have leukemia.

Suddenly everything was a clear image in my mind. Alec telling me that he’s dying, him running away from me. My tears and screams. Didn’t he love me at all? Hadn’t he trusted me like I trusted him? I remembered how rage and pain wrecked my body, pushing me to fall down my knees. Hands ripping my spiky hair, fury making me sick in my stomach.

As the time passed, and rain started to pour at my body, I got up and went in a familiar direction. From the moment I stepped into Exotic, the club where my friend was working, I felt worse than before. All the laughs, happy music and dancing made me sad. How could people be this happy, when I was nearly dying from the pain overwhelming my whole self?

“Magnus? What are you doing here? ” Trent asked me, confusion written all over his make-up free face. Trent was older than me, three years exactly. I met him when I was dating Oliver, back in my sophomore year. He was one of the coolest guys in the school, helping me when Oliver played me and started rumors. As much as he could, he forced the coach to throw Oliver out of the team and threatened his ex-friend to make his life a living hell, if he won’t leave me alone. Unfortunately, that brave and lovely acting hadn’t stopped the rumors about me. “Where’s your other half Ragnor?”

“He’s not my other half.”

“I know, I heard. What’s his name? Alex?”

“Alec.” I corrected him and sat on the barstool, before him. “Give me a shot of vodka.”

“You’re underage, Magnus.” He informed me about the obvious thing. “I can make you a fruity cocktail without an alcohol.”

“I need the alcohol, so give it to me!”

Shot after a shot I become emptier. The feeling was great, relaxing, I loved it in that moment. Until the sweet voice of Alec played in my head again, recalling the horrible second where he told me about his fate. My heart was breaking again, my soul was slowly dying. I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t imagine Alec, my sweet Alec being sick, dying, disappearing from my life.

I couldn't imagine him being any longer with me.

Tears streaked down my cheeks at the memory of last night. A loud scream escaped my mouth, scaring both me and Ragnor. My chest hurt, as my heart was breaking once again.

“It’s ok, it’s alright, Magnus,” Fell pressed me to his chest, letting me hit him helplessly. “Shh…I’m here, my friend, let it go.”

“I love him so much, and he’s been lying to me…” I let a wail out of my mouth, followed by a hard intake of an air. “He’s sick…”

“Good morni…” I heard my mom’s voice, as she entered my bedroom. I couldn’t see her face, but in the next second, I felt her kneeling by my side, with her long fingers stroking my hair. “What happened, baby?”

“Mommy…” I pulled away from Ragnor and threw myself into mom’s opened arms. She soothed my back with soft strokes, letting me wet her new dress with tears. “Alec is sick.”

“What?”

“He has leukemia.” A pregnant silence filled my room, breaking with the sound of my cries. Mom was holding me tight in her arms, and Ragnor held my right hand in his. Their comfort was a bliss for me then, even though my mind couldn’t relax. The visions of Alec and his words were flashing in my mind.

“Oh, my sweet boy…” Mom kissed the top of my head before she lifted it so I’d look her in the eyes. “How is he?”

“Mom…it’s bad…so bad, he said he’s been in a re…remiss…ion” I hiccupped, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “But now it’s back. What should I do?”

“I can’t tell you what to do, Magnus,” she urged me to get up on the floor, and the three of us sat on my bed. “But I know that you care for Alec deeply, so let me tell you one thing, my beloved boy.” She patted my chest, where my heart was beating. “Listen and trust your heart, Magnus. It will tell you what to do.”

Except, listening to my heart wasn’t an easy job to do.

Alec had been ignoring me the whole weekend, he hadn’t answered any of my calls or text. It made me both, worried and angry as well. Moreover, his siblings were ignoring me as well, along with Clarissa and Simon, who was very close to Lightwoods. I didn’t know what was happening to Alec. He could be even worse now, and I wouldn’t know, as no one was willing to let me in their house. For a short moment, I was wondering, if they would call police if I try to break in. But then, my mother intervened and told me to give him some time.

When the Monday came, I decided to corner Alec and have a serious talk with him. I was sure that it will involve a lot of yelling and such, but we needed to press the matter. Through my waiting on the parking lot for Alec, I was thinking about things I wanted to say to him. The talk will be hard for both of us, full of feelings. Only a minute left to our first class, but Alec’s car was nowhere to see. It wouldn’t bother me if Alec would be the one to be late to school, but that wasn’t the case. Alec Lightwood hadn’t been late for any of his classes since I’ve been in a relationship with him. It was disturbing and worrisome, especially now, that I knew about his condition.

He hadn’t shown up at any of three first classes, and sadly, the teachers weren’t bothered by that. So they had to know about his illness. I wondered if I was the only one left in the dark. The answer was most likely yes.

He didn’t come to the lunch break as well. The moment I walked into a lunchroom, I scanned it to spot a familiar black mop of hair or a certain blonde. In fact, by then I was so desperate to even talk with Sheldon or Clary, just to get an information about Alec’s whereabouts. Yet, the luck wasn’t on my side today. Instead, I found my friends at their usual table, today with Will and Jem joining them.

“Magnus!” Ragnor waved at me and scooted closer to his boyfriend Raphael, to make a free spot for me. “How are you?”

“Better. Have any of you seen Lightwoods today? Especially Alec? Or Clary and Simon? I can’t get a hold of any of them.” They all but Tessa shook their heads, it was very suspicious. “Tess? Spit it out, honey.”

“I saw Mr. Lightwood today at school, as he dropped Izzy, Jace, Clary, and Simon. He then went and talked with principal Herondale, and then left school.” She started to explain briefly. “When I approached them, they left in a hurry, as if they wanted to avoid me. But then when the art classes began, I heard Isabelle talking with Clary that from now on, they won’t be sitting with us anymore or you know to be around us.”

“What? ” This time Raphael asked, looking confused at her. “I know that Jace Lightwood isn’t our big fan, but disowning us as friends? Dios Mio, what a jerk.”

“It’s not that they don’t want to,” Tessa pressed it more, smiling sadly at me. “It’s because of Saturday’s night. Apparently, something happened during your date, and the two of you aren’t…” she gave me a knowing look, but I didn’t know its meaning. “You aren’t together anymore.”

Each of my friends took a sharp breath in before they turned their eyes on me.

Tessa’s words were floating through my mind, yet I couldn’t understand their meaning.

You aren’t together anymore. Not together. Not anymore.

“WHAT?!” My voice was suddenly booming through the whole lunchroom. People’s eyes were at my person immediately. “We’re…what?”

“You didn’t tell that you two broke up, Mags.” Ragnor turned my chin towards him, looking with a concern in my eyes. “Magnus?”

“We didn’t break up.” I drew back from him and stood up from the group. "We’re still together, as far as I am concerned. Goddamn him! He’s ignoring me, lying to me and now breaking up with me?! Oh no. I’ll make him talk to me, whether he wants it or not.”

Talking to Alexander seemed to be a hard task in the following week. From all information Miss Blackthorn was willing to tell me, Alec would be absent for the next two weeks. She didn’t know the details of his absence, regarding if his health had gotten worse, but she promised to talk to principal Herondale and find out some bits. I was very thankful to her, lately, she was the only one who wanted to help me.

Clary and Simon weren’t avoiding me as much as Izzy and Jace, but they had none valuable information for me. Apparently, Robert drew a hard line in coming to their house now. Izzy and Jace could visit their friends, but none of them were allowed in the Lightwood’s place for a while. It made me worried. Not knowing what was happening with Alec. It drove me crazy when he constantly wasn’t picking up my calls.

“Alec, I beg you, call me back. I need to talk to you,” I sobbed to the phone while lying on the bed in my room. “Please, sweetheart…I need to know if you’re ok. If you don’t want to talk to me, at least send me a text, or anything…I love you, my darling.”

‘I’m ok.- Alec.’ he replied hours later. Yet, even though he gave a sign of life, my nerves weren’t soothed by that in any bit. Moreover, it made me insane with worry.

I found myself on the doorstep of Lightwoods’ place in the next day, just after I was done with my rehearsal, like every day before. The driveway was empty, so I knew that his parents weren’t home yet. Jace was at his football practice and Isabelle went shopping with Clary. The little red-head was kind enough to text me, that Alec should be home alone now.

As usual, I tried the soft knocking first, before I start to yell under his window like I did two days ago. His neighbor threatened to call police on me, for disturbing her peace. I was close to attacking that older woman. She was saved by Simon, who happened to be driving Isabelle and Jace back from some party.

The shock was written on my face, when the door opened after a few knock, revealing the youngest Lightwood.

“Magnus? What are you doing here?”

“Can I see Alec? Please?.” His big, brown eyes were immediately sad, as my words reached his ears. “Please, Max.”

“I’m sorry…but Alec doesn’t want to see anyone, now.” Max was reassembling his oldest brother in so many aspects. He too had every emotion written all over his face. “I will tell him that you came by.”

“Tell me then, is he ok? He told me about leukemia already. Is he ok? Is it worse?”

“Mom says that Alec needs a lot of rest now and his meds. I don’t understand it wholly, but…”

“Can you give him something from me?” The young boy nodded eagerly to my request. It took me a minute or two before I handed Max a note for his brother. With sad smiles, we bid each other’s goodbye and I left Manhattan.

I had hoped that my letter to Alexander will finally make him talk to me.

* * *

 

_My beloved Alexander,_

_You have no idea, how much my heart is hurting now._

_Not being able to see your beautiful eyes and your loving smile,_

_Makes me hurt._

**_I miss you so much._ **

_Don’t be mistaken, I am angry at you, but also, I cannot bear the distance you put between us, anymore._

_It’s been so long since I saw you in real. So many nights I cried for you, feeling helpless…wanting to go and break in your home, just to see if you’re still there…_

_But I don’t blame you, my sweet Angel._

_I know you must have been scared as hell._

_I am too._

_I’m scared that I won’t be able to see you anymore._

_I’m scared that you don’t want me anymore in your life because I yelled at you_ **_THAT_ ** _night._

_Alec…I’m mad, so mad…but it’s because I love you so much._

_I try to understand it all, I try to understand your fears. But understand my anger, sweetheart._

_Whenever I asked you, if you’re ok, you’ve been lying to me. When I saw you in the hospital after you passed out…you told me it’s nothing, just an anemia, when in fact, you are deathly sick._

_You made me fall in love with you so hard, only to shut yourself out from me now?_

_My mom said that I should be listening to my heart when it comes to you. And I need to ask you one thing, my dearest._

_Listen to your heart as well…_

_I’ll be here, when you need me, Alexander._

_I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk._

_I miss you, sayang._

**_I love you,_ **

_Magnus._

* * *

 

Three days later and there was still no sign from Alec. No call, no text, not even a small word from his siblings. Slowly I was starting to lose hope for any news. Until one evening.

The rain was pouring outside, the thunders appeared in the sky here and there. Project Runway was on tv, as I was sitting on the couch in the living room with Ragnor and Raphael. My friends were keeping me company for the last few days, so I wouldn’t go insane in my worrying.

“Maybe you want to give me a make-over? ” Fell prompted suddenly, laying his hand on my shoulder. “It will keep your mind off of him.”

“Normally, I’d be tempted, my little cabbage, but…”

“He will call you. ” Raphael said in his calm voice. “Just give him some time. It must be hard for him, as much as it is for you.” Ragnor gave him one of his pointed looks. “I’m not defending him or something like that, but I get him. I’d be terrified to tell the guy I love that I’m sick as well. Imagine it yourselves, you’re suddenly in love with someone so much and you have to tell them that you’re dying. And I know he loves you, I’ve seen it. Give him some…”

Maybe Raphael was right. Maybe I should give Alec some time to get a courage to talk to me. But on the other hand, we hadn’t seen each other for almost two weeks now. It was quite some time to think about everything. As much as I wanted to ponder more about somehow wise words of Santiago, I was deprived of the possibility, when I heard a faint knock on my front door.

“Are you expecting someone?” Ragnor asked, getting up from the couch. “I thought that Cate said she couldn’t come today, something with her brother.”

“I don’t know.” My friend shrugged his arms in a reply and went to open the door, while I turned my eyes back to the tv. When I heard the door open, but no words following it, I addressed Fell. “Who is it, Ragnor?”

“Hi…” The soft, trembling, familiar voice made me turn my head around too fast. Ignoring the pain in my neck, I opened eyes widely to look at the boy in front of me.

Alec was in the middle of my living room, all drenched with a shy smile on his lips. His usually pale face was even paler now, though it was decorated by the adorable pink shades on the cheeks. Water was slowly pooling around his legs as he shifted his right leg behind himself.

I missed the moment when my both friends made themselves out of my house, leaving me alone with Alec.

“Alec…” I whispered his name, not being sure if he’s real, or if I had imagined him. A few blinks later, I realized that Alec’s shaking terribly before me. “You’re soaked! Come on!” I walked to him and grabbed his hand, pulling him to my bedroom upstairs. Once inside, I threw some of my bigger clothes on him and pointed the door of the bathroom. “Dry yourself, before you’ll be sick!”

A few minutes later he came back with a pile of wet clothes in his hands. I took it from him immediately and went to put them in a dryer. When I returned, Alec was sitting on my bed, with covers around his body. His head was hung down, droplets of water falling on my sweatpants.

For a while, none of us said a single word to each other. I sat on the chair before him and waited for something, though I had no idea for what. Alec raised his eyes full of sadness, pain, and love, on me.

“I’m so sorry.” We said in unison, which caused a laugh in both of us. The sound of his laughter was truly amazing, even more, after not being able to hear it for so long.

“I’m sorry that I yelled at you, darling.” I reached and grabbed Alec’s hand in my own, intertwining our fingers. His hand felt amazing in mine, so well fitting, cool to my warm one. “I shouldn’t have, but I was shocked.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been lying to you for so long.” Alec tugged our hands and pulled me to himself, patting a space next to him. I sat down so close that our knees were touching themselves. “I was scared to tell you…I didn’t dare to hope that we will last so long to the point that I’ll have to tell the truth. I was thinking that we’ll have some time, some fun and you’ll dump me because I’m boring.”

“You’re not boring, at all, Alec.” Alec just shook his head to this.

“You’re so amazing, Magnus, and I’m…I’m just simply Alec…and I was sure that I could never even dream that a guy like you would even look at me. But then you took an interest in me, and for a while…I decided to be selfish.” He continued, rubbing my hand in his. “I felt happy for the first time in my life…like really happy. I was falling for you even more, especially when you kissed me for the first time after our first date. I never thought that I could be in heaven before I die…yet…you gave me that. And I decided to take advantage of this…of you…and for that I am sorry.”

“Alec…baby…you didn’t take an advantage of me. You let me fall in love with you…which…I never felt like this before…”

“Me too… and I admit, you made me happy every single day. You made me happy to the point that I had forgotten about my illness.” He lowered his eyes on our connected hands. “Until the day it kicked me in my ass, right in front of you… I am so sorry, Magnus. I never meant to hurt you. I hate myself for lying to you for so long, but I couldn’t tell you, even though people were telling me to admit it. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell you when you told me about your father and Oliver. You were so hurt already…how could I put another pain to your heart?”

“Alec…”

“But then you said that you love me…and it broke me.” Alec wiped a single tear from his cheek, after admitting his secrets. “I realized that I have no more time to tell you because everything became more serious then. My mind went crazy…and then your tears…they hurt me like nothing before. I knew that I caused you a horrible pain, even though I tried to save you from it. And it was killing me, more than leukemia. Magnus…” Alec was sobbing now, clutching my hand desperately. “I understand if you hate me and if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I won’t hold any grudge for it. Know that I am sorry for the pain I caused in you. I will never be able to forgive myself for it.”

For a long moment, there was a silence between us again. I tried to understand every word Alec had said to me. His voice so broken, matching the state of his beautiful now teary blue eyes. I placed my hand on Alec’s cheeks, brushing it softly. Alec leaned his face into my hand and closed his eyes, refusing to look at me.

“Open your eyes, Alec.” The boy did as asked reluctantly, looking at me uncertainly. “It’s true that you had hurt me Alec, but you’re mistaken if you think that I could ever hate you. I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before. I believe that what we have could be the true love people had been writing the books about. You’ve unlocked something in me, Alexander, and I won’t let you go that easily.” He blinked at me confused. “I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, so much.”

Tears were falling my cheeks as well, but I couldn’t care less. My heart was beating like crazy, and for a moment I thought that it may burst out of my chest. I threw my arms around his neck, drawing him closer to me. We pressed our foreheads together, breathing into each other’s lips before we connected them in a sweet kiss. Alec’s lips were salty, probably because of the tears. When we pulled away, I put my hand over Alec’s heart.

“I love you, darling.” I kissed the tip of his nose, which made him cringe. “I’d love you just the same, even if you’d miss a leg or two. I don’t care about you being sick, Alec. I love you and I will love you as long as you’ll let me.”

“I love you too, Magnus.” He finally confessed and my world stopped for a moment. I waited for those words so long, yearning for them to be real. They were. “I love you so much.”

Alexander circled my waist tightly, pressing his face into my chest. I put my hand into his locks and stroked it slowly. For a moment, we let ourselves enjoying the silence, broken only by the loud beats of our hearts.

“Can I stay the night here? ” His sudden, quiet ask surprised me. “I haven’t seen you for so long…I missed you.”

“Of course you can stay here, sweet pea.” I kissed the top of his head before he leaned away. “Does your parents know you’re here?” To that, Alec shook his head. I reached behind us to the nightstand and took my phone. I pressed it into Alec’s hand. “Call your parents and tell them. I bet they’re sick and worried now.”

A few minutes later Alec was done with his call. Even though I was sitting on the opposite of the bed, I could easily hear the screams of Maryse and Robert. I couldn’t blame them, they were worried for Alec, especially now that he was sick again.

“How bad is it?” I asked him when he handed me back my phone. “Leukemia, how bad is it?”

“I’m back on stronger meds,” he said, laying down with me. “If they won’t help, I’ll be taking the chemo again. My doctor gives me two more weeks to see if there’ll be any sign of improvement, if not…then I’m back to the hospital.”

“Ok.”

“I’m sorry if it’s too much.” Alec’s voice was full of apologies again, to which I smiled softly.

“It’s not too much…ok…it’s not an easy thing,” the words escaped my mouth before I could put them in a coherent sentence. “Alexander…it will be hard, I know, and probably will be bad at some time. But I love you and I promise you, that I will be by your side every step of the way, as long as you will let me. I’m not going to dump you just because you’re sick. I gave you my heart and I’m not taking returns.”

Alec laughed heartedly.

“Just promise me one thing, Alexander.” He looked at me questioningly. “Don’t lie to me, ever again. Ever. Be open with me regarding everything, especially your health. I need to know.”

“I promise you, Magnus, no more secrets, and no more lies.”

“Good.” We sealed our deal with a small kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“We’ll get through this, my sayang, together. I promise you.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hello.  
> See? I couldn't keep them apart for so long ;)  
> Hope you liked it.


	20. Can't keep my hands off you

**Chapter XIX**

**„Can’t keep my hands off you”**

My body was surrounded by the soft silks and warmth radiating from something pressed to my body. A feather-like touch was ghosting over my arm. The strange feeling seemed to be different yet somehow familiar to me. Before I opened my eyes to meet with the soft light of the morning sun, I realized what the warmth is.

“Get out of my bed, Isabelle!”

“Do I resemble your sister that much, darling? ” The groggy voice asked behind my back. I opened my eyes immediately and turned around fast. Right next to me was lying Magnus, my boyfriend, without a shirt.

“What…what are you doing in my bed, Magnus?! ” I felt heat overwhelming my whole body, as his naked chest rose with a breath. “Did we…?”

“Relax, Alexander,” he said in a calm voice, patting my bare arm. “We didn’t have sex last night. Believe me, you would remember it.” Before I had a chance to respond to that, he opened his mouth again. “Besides, you’re in my bed, honey. Don’t you remember last night?”

As the realization of last night’s events hit me, I hid my face in one of Magnus’s pillows. I felt his fingers stroking my back lightly.

“Don’t hide that adorable face from me, Alexander.” Magnus’s voice was filled with a small laugh. “I wouldn’t take an advantage of you, lovely. I’m a decent boy.”

When I turned to face him, he smiled broadly at me. Magnus leaned down, as he’d like to kiss me, but my hand over mouth stopped him in the midair. He shot me a confused look.

“I have morning breath, Mags,” I spoke through the hand. “I need to brush my teeth first, then we can kiss as much as you want.”

“Uuuuh, I like this offer, angel.” Magnus kissed my forehead instead, before he jumped off the bed, revealing his short black shorts that he had slept in last night. The view of his half-nakedness made feel the familiar heat between my legs. My boyfriend walked inside of the bathroom only to come back a minute ago with a brand new green toothbrush in his right hand. “I keep some spare in case someone’s crashing over here. Mostly it’s Ragnor, Cate or Tessa. Now I’ll add yours to the collection.”

“Is that your way to tell me that I can sleep over more?” My teasing wasn’t as good as Magnus’s, but at least it made him smile again.

“Oh darling, if I could help it, you wouldn’t leave my bed at all.” I didn’t know if my face could be hotter than in the moment when he spoke those words while winking at me suggestively. I knew that he loved to tease me, but sometimes it was too much. He dragged me to the bathroom and soon we stood next to each other as we brushed our teeth.

As soon as we stepped back into the bathroom, Magnus pushed me onto the bed, hovering me immediately. It wasn’t any new position, but it was very intimate for me. I could feel every hardness and line of his smooth body. Feeling assured of my breath, I leaned up and caught his lips with my own. Whenever we kissed, my whole body molded itself to Magnus’s, to feel him even closer. I had to admit, that lately I’ve been thinking about doing something more with him, but I wasn’t ready to ask. Magnus spread my legs with his knee and moved his lips onto my neck. It felt wonderful, sending shivers down my spine.

“It feels so good, Mags,” I couldn’t stop myself from purring, even though it was embarrassing.

“Good? Then maybe you’ll let me make you feel even better, huh?” I didn’t understand the meaning of his words at first, but it became clear when he tugged at the end of my sleep shirt. He looked me deeply in the eye, giving me a time to decide whether I want it. We’ve never come this far, to losing our shirts, but I wanted to feel his hands on my chest. With a small nod and warm cheeks, I let him take my shirt off. “I knew that you’re an absolute beauty, Alexander, but this…this is an angelic beauty.”

“I’m not.” I disagreed with him, to which he only laughed a little.

“May I, Angel? ” He asked, lowering his hand to my chest. With a small bite in my lower lip, I nodded.

Magnus’s hands were incredible on my chest. His soft, gentle touches were giving me a pleasant burn on every inch of my body. He was tracing the patterns of my tattoos on the chest and arms, the ones I placed on myself eight months ago, back during the trip to Los Angeles. Mother was furious with me, but she eventually gave up.

Magnus kissed the tattoo below my collarbone, which tickled me a little since Magnus had a weak beard now.

“I still can’t believe that you have tattoos, Alexander.” He smiled at me, brushing the tattoo over my ribs. “I guess what they say is true, huh? The silent ones are the hidden bad boys. But don’t worry, darling, I love bad boys.”

“This is the worst pick up line I ever heard, even yours did it hurt, when you fell out of the sky, sounded better.” Magnus moved his lips over my neck to suck on Adam’s apple. “Magnus…”

“I love the sounds you’re making, sweetheart.” He murmured against my skin, as his fingers brushed over my hips. For a second I inhaled the air sharply, wondering if they will get below. A part of me desired this over everything else then, but the other part was scared. I’ve never done anything like that before and I had no idea what to do. Yet, my body somehow knew. It arched itself to match Magnus’s body and grinned over his own. Magnus let out a small moan, right into my mouth as we kissed hungrily.

We were close to letting ourselves being lost in each other when we heard a familiar voice.

“Are you up, boys?” Magnus’s mom said as she walked into his room. “Oh…”

“Mother!” Magnus growled a second before I threw him off of me. It was an immediate reaction to the embarrassment caused by being caught. My face burned with shame. I grabbed the sheets and pulled them over my head to cover myself from Ayanna.

“I’m sorry, boys, am… I’ve brought Alec’s clothes. They’re washed and dry already…and yes, I’m…I’m going downstairs and…” I could only hear the sound of closing doors, but soon they were reopened. “I forgot to tell you, come down for a breakfast.”

“She’s gone, Alec,” Magnus announced, trying to take the sheets off of me. “Come on, baby.”

“I’m going to die! She’s your mother, Magnus and…”

“Please, it’s not as she saw us having sex, Alec.” He started to tickle me, so I let go of the covers. Magnus quickly pulled them away from me and hovered me again. “Parents have the worst timing, ever, my dear. We should get used to it.”

“I’d rather not.” Magnus nodded to that and kissed my forehead. “We should get dressed and go downstairs before your mom comes here again.”

Magnus scowled at me before he rolled off of me.

“And I was just getting into a mood, Alexander.”

Once downstairs Ayanna apologized to us once again and started to prepare our breakfast. We were eating mostly in a silence, with her occasionally checking her phone, which confused Magnus very much. I could tell it, from the looks he was giving her.

“So, what are you going to do for the day, boys? ” She asked, setting down the blue mug with a painted flower. Magnus told me, he gifted it to her when he was just five, for a Mother’s Day.

“I’m not sure, I thought that we could be lazy at home, watch some movie?” He turned the question to me.

“Yeah, sure, but I have to be at Steve’s at three,” I replied, taking a bite of the sandwich.

“Is he your doctor?” Ayanna asked, looking from me to Magnus.

“No! Steve is a guy, who organizes meetings for kids and adults who are sick, like me. I’ve met him through Ellie, actually.” Magnus breathed in a relief next to me, smiling softly. It gave me a thought, was he jealous? “We’re meeting once a week and talk about everything. We’re just a bunch of kids in one room…yeah.”

“Ok, I’ll drive you then,” Magnus announced, filling his mug with coffee. “And then I’ll pick you up.”

“You don’t have to, Mags, I can call for mom or dad.”

“Nonsense,” he interrupted me, shushing the rest of my arguments. “I’ll pick you up and then if you’d like, we can go see some movie.”

“Ok. I like the plan.”

After breakfast, Magnus and I went out his home to bask in the warmth of the day in their garden. He didn’t have a hammock like we had, but there was a garden swing. Magnus said that he had helped his grandfather built it when he was just twelve. The pictures confirming it was incredibly cute. Magnus put some pillows on the swing and told me to make myself comfortable.

“Tell me more about your leukemia, Alec.” I knew that he’ll ask me about it at some point. Last night I told him some briefs of the whole thing, but today I had to explain it more.

“Doctor Anderson keeps checking on me, she makes test twice in a month.” Magnus nodded to those words, grabbing my hand in his. “In fact, I have an appointment in next Friday. Do you want to come with me?”

“Yes, of course.” He smiled at me genuinely. He seemed to be glad that I invited him to this. “What time?”

“After school, mom will meet us in the doctor’s office.”

We spent the whole morning in the garden, swinging and laughing, while we were looking through Magnus’s photos as the baby. When the time was right, Magnus drove me to Steve’s place.

Ellie was waiting, sitting on the steps of the building, with red headphones on her head. When she had seen, me stepping out of Magnus’s yellow Chevrolet Camaro, she got up and waved at me. Magnus stepped out as well, joining our hands as I walked to him. We both made our way to my friend.

“Hey, Ellie. ” Magnus greeted her with a grin on his makeup-free face. Today he decided to go all natural for me. I had to admit, he looked extremely hot like that.

“Hey, Glittery boy,” she teased him, winking along. “Honey-bee, you look well.”

“Honey-bee? ” Magnus picked it up and looked with a fake hurt in his eyes at me. “You forbade me from calling you honey-bunch and…oh…we’re so going back to pet names now, Alexander.”

“You had to do it, El? ” She just laughed at us. “I hate you both.”

“No, you love us.” She retorted, swinging her arm around my shoulders. “Now say goodbye to your darling, hot boyfriend and we’re off.”

“Would you mind turning around? ” I addressed her meaningfully, to which she just huffed and did as asked. I leaned on my toes and kissed Magnus on his lips. My boyfriend put his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer to himself.

“Pick you up in two hours? ” He asked, as we pulled away, stroking my flushed cheek. I answered him with a shy smile. “Ok. I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Mags.” With one last, short kiss we separated our ways and Magnus drove off.

“You two are incredible but also sickly cute,” Ellie commented behind my back. She slid her hand into mine and interlocked our fingers, tugging me to the direction of the building. “So, it’s safe to assume that everything is ok now in your love paradise?”

“We’re good,” I replied, walking her towards Steve’s door. “We made up last night. I apologized for lying to him and he forgave me. So, it’s ok.”

“I’m happy for you, Alec.” We smiled at each other. “I was meaning to ask you, will he drive you everywhere now? You know, not leaving you for a moment alone? I’ve seen his look, he seemed to be very reluctant to leave you.”

“He drove me today because we spent a night at his place.” Before I had a chance to grab a doorknob, I felt myself being tugged back by my friend. “What?”

“You spent the night at your boyfriend’s place?” I nodded to that. “You slept in one bed with him?” Again, a nod from me. “Alexander Gideon Lightwood! You had sex with your boyfriend and you haven’t told me yet?! I feel offended, I thought we are best friends. Were you top or bottom? You used a protection, right? I know that pregnancy isn’t a probl…”

“What? We didn’t…we…” She was blinking at my stuttering. “We didn’t, El.”

Her offended expression turned into a confused one in a second.

“Now let me get this straight,” she lowered her voice as people were passing us, greeting with a wave. “Although, there’s nothing straight in this. You slept with your hot, literally sex on legs boyfriend, and you two hadn’t had sex last night? Not even a small blowjob?”

“Ellie! ” Sometimes, she was just as Isabelle. With no limits in her prying into my private life. “Shut up!” She just rolled her eyes but did as told. “We didn’t do anything, except for making out this morning.”

“Phew, there’s still hope for you, boy,” Ellie whispered, nudging my side with her elbow. “At least you made out.”

“Until his mom walked on us,” I replied looking annoyed.

“Ouch.” She patted my shoulder in a comfort. “Parents have the worst timing ever.”

“Magnus said the same thing.” We both laughed and went inside Steve’s place. Everyone was already here, as we sat in our usual places.

The whole meeting went fast. We caught up with each other’s lives and everything. Some of the people were talking even about them being in a remission. I envied them, though I used to be like them. Happy when my doctor announced the remission. The meeting was finished a bit earlier today, so we still had a half of an hour, before Magnus would pick me up. Ellie dragged me to the local coffee shop to talk some more.

“Anyway, I was meaning to ask you, Ellie, what’s up? You’ve been sad the whole time.” She just shrugged her arms in a response. “El? Come on, I can tell that something is bugging you. Tell me, or I’ll tickle it out of you.”

“Fine.” She agreed, knowing better that there wasn’t a better tackler than me. “I broke up with Drake yesterday.”

“Why? You seemed to like him very much.” She picked her slice of apple pie and moved her fork into it, without actually eating. “El?”

“He was talking some bullshit about you, so I dumped him.” I waited for more explanation from her. “He called you some mean things, so I punched him and then dumped him. Oh, and I called him a disgusting douchebag.”

“Ellie…”

“No one can talk about you like that, Alec. No one.” I smiled in thanks and squeezed her hand over the table. “But we were supposed to go to his prom, and I already bought a new dress…”

“Then I have an idea,” I said to her, winking. “Wear it tonight, we’re going out.”

“We’re going out? Where?”

“To dance somewhere. I’ll let you know, that Magnus taught me how to dance a bit, so I’m not a total klutz anymore.” She laughed heartedly at my words. “How ‘bout Pandemonium? I heard that it has some great DJ and all. You can show off your new dress.”

“Ok!”

“Great. I’ll ask Jace, Izzy, Clary, Simon, and Magnus to come with us. Oh, and there’s Raphael, Ragnor, Cate, Tessa, you’ll like them too.” She was nodding eagerly with a wide smile. “We’ll have some fun, we need it, El.”

“I can’t wait.” She said as she leaned over to kiss my cheek. We heard the door of the café being opened and soon heard the beautiful voice of my boyfriend. “I’ll meet you at your house at seven, ok? I need Izzy to do my makeup and lend me some jacket.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“Bye Alec, bye Magnus.” She bid her goodbyes and left us alone.

“See you when? Have plans for tonight, darling? I thought that we’ll go back to your place and watch some movie.” Magnus asked confused, as he reached for my hand to pull me up.

“What would you say, if we’d go to a party tonight?” I asked as we walked out of the place.

“Have you met me? I love parties, Alexander.” Magnus replied, smiling, as he opened the door of his car for me, like the gentleman he was. “Are you sure, you want to go to a party? As I recall, you’re not a party type, Alec.”

“I want you and Ellie and our friends to have fun.” Magnus turned his head to look at me. “You’ve done so much for me lately, and this is the small thing, but I know you miss parties, Mags. I want us to have fun tonight, together. We deserve it, Magnus, after everything that happened lately. We need some relax.”

“Ok.”

“Ok? ” He nodded. “Great. So, we’ll go to your place now, so you could doll yourself up, though you don’t have to. You look perfect with or without makeup. Call to Ragnor, Cate, Raphael and Tessa, Jem, even Will and invite them as well. We’re going to Pandemonium tonight.”

The club was full of people when we finally had gotten here. Isabelle, Clary, and Ellie moved immediately to the dancefloor, Will, Jace and Simon behind them. Magnus, me, Cate, Tessa, and Jem went to find some booth which could fit all of us, while Ragnor went to order us drinks, of course, nonalcoholic, since none of us was twenty-one yet. Music was loud but enjoyable. As the time was passing, all of my friends were dancing and having a great time.

“Come on, let’s dance, gorgeous,” Magnus whispered to my ear. His sweet, intoxicating breath was brushing my neck, causing the pleasant shivers on my body.

I let him drag me to the dance floor, and for the first time in my life, I decided to just be happy with my boyfriend and forget about the rest of the world. Magnus pressed our bodies close to each other, circling his arms around my waist. My arms moved around his back, stroking it lightly. Suddenly the song changed to more sexy ones like Magnus likes to call them. And so Bane reacted to it immediately. He grinned his body against mine. It felt wonderful and I couldn’t help but moan when I felt his hands traveling all over my hips. I sneaked one of my hands into his hair and tugged them. Magnus moaned, looking surprised at me. I believe he never expected me to do such a bold thing not only in a public place but as well as among many people. In fact, I haven’t expected to do this as well.

“Alexander…” he breathed out.

“Let’s go home, Magnus.”

“Why? You don’t feel good?” He placed his hand upon my forehead, checking if it was warm. A mood killer, if I knew one. “Alec?”

“No, let’s go home. Mom and dad are out. Max is at his friend’s house for a night…we can be together.” He pulled away from me and looked me in my eyes. “You know…me and you…alone in my bedroom.”

“Oh…Oh!” He finally seemed to catch the meaning of my words. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go all the way tonight, but I felt the burning desire in my body, which needed to be satisfied somehow. I had enough of having to fix this by myself, as every time after a pleasant dream about Magnus. My boyfriend eyed me from head to toe and dragged me to the direction of the bathroom in the club. There was some guy inside of here, a bit older than us, but skinnier than Magnus. “Get out, now!”

When we were left alone, Magnus pushed me to the stall and locked the door behind us.

“What is the meaning of this, Alexander? ” When I didn’t answer him, instead of grabbing his hips to draw him closer, he continued to talk. “Did you really mean it? You want to have sex tonight?”

“Magnus…”

“Alec be honest with me. Are you ready to have sex with me? ” I nodded slowly, not looking straight into his eyes. I was scared to have sex for the first time, but as well I wanted to be with Magnus in every possible meaning. “All right then.”

Magnus grabbed the belt of my pants and unbuckled them. Suddenly everything became more heated, more terrifying. Did he want to have sex here? In the public bathroom? With no protection or preparing? He unzipped my jeans and looked me in the eye. I had no idea what he saw in them, but his eyes were full of something unreadable to me.

“I can’t,” he said, dropping his hands from my pants. I blinked twice confused at him before I shook myself off from the small shock. “I’m not ready and so aren’t you, darling.”

“You don’t want to?”

“I want to, Alec. You have no idea how much I want to have sex with you, but this isn’t the time.” Before I had a chance to soothe his nerves, he spoke again. “I want this to be perfect, love. This will be your first time ever, and it will be our first time. I want it to be remarkable, something that we will cherish forever. Call me stupid, but I want our first time to be romantic and ideal, and I don’t want some quickie in a club or rushed thing at home. I want us to have a sweet lovemaking, when we’ll both be ready, Alexander. The moment, we’ll both be ready, it will be magical, I’m sure of it.”

“Ok.” I believed him and we kissed before we left the bathroom.

Once back on the dance floor, as we danced pressed to each other, I thought about his words. I couldn’t wait for us to be ready and to finally fulfill our love.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I wanted to post it yesterday, but real life happened and I had to be at the hospital longer than usual.   
> Anyway, did you like it?   
> Next one: a sexy one chapter, we've been all waiting for ;)   
> Till next Tuesday!


	21. La vie en rose

**Chapter XX**

**„La vie en rose”**

The heavy atmosphere in the theater room was felt in every fiber of my body. It wasn’t because of the idiocy of the people watching us, namely Jonathan Morgenstern, Sebastian Verlac and Jordan Kyle. They were meant to clean the whole theater and placing the set, according to Alec’s description. It was their punishment for a fight with me, Ragnor and Jace weeks ago. In fact, the three of us were punished too with cleaning the rooms in the school as well, me less than them, since I was already punished by starring in the play.

We were rehearsing the main scene when my phone rang. The sweet melody of Alec’s song, the one I sang for him on our first date, informed me that it is him. I apologized to Miss Blackwell and answered.

“Hey, sweetie, how are you?” I asked in a cheerful tone.

“I’m good today,” he replied with a sleepy voice. He had just woke up. “I’m going to doctor Anderson today, so I’ll be back later. If you come by earlier, Max is in a home with Izzy, so feel yourself at home. Mom left some dinner in the oven.”

“All right.” Alec yawned at my response. “You should rest some more before you’ll go, Alexander. You sound tired.”

“Please, not you too. Mom is making me lay the whole day, do nothing and sleep as much as I can.” I could tell he’s frustrated with the current situation. I couldn’t blame him. I would too be frustrated if I had to sit home for the past three weeks like Alec had been from the moment, his health has gotten worse. “Ok, I have to go. See you later, Mags. I love you.”

“I love you too, darling.” After he hung up, I returned to the middle of the stage. “Ok. We can continue.”

“Anyway,” Lacey started, looking at me questioningly. “When Alec will be back? His flu is taking a bit too long. It’s been three weeks already.”

“Soon,” I commented and went back to say my lines. “Ok. Let’s start from the beginning.”

“I- I didn't believe hard enough,” Tony said

“Loving is enough”

“Not here. They won't let us be”.

“Then we'll run away.”

“Yeah, we can.”

“And, now, Magnus,” Miss Blackwell came to stand next to me. “You’re taking both of Lacey’s hands into yours, bring them to your lips and kiss, before you lean down to kiss her on her lips.”

As much as the prospect of kissing Lacey was making me sick, it was a part of the play. I did every step according to the script, gaining an approval from our teacher. When it came to the actual kiss, I tried to do my best, but it wasn’t what Miss Blackwell imagined.

“Oh, come on,” Lacey complained, as we pulled away. “You could at least put some effort in this. You’re not even trying, Magnus. We should kiss passionately. And you kissed me like we’d be five years old.”

“Oh, I’m sorry if I can’t kiss you properly, seeing as you’re not a hot blue-eyed boy!” I snapped, balling my hands into fists. “Fuck this.”

“Ok!” Miss Blackwell said, grabbing me by my arm. “Everyone take five.” She led me to the corner. “What is going on, Magnus?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry. I just…it’s Alec…” She smiled sadly at me, caressing my hand. “I just… he’s not good, you know. In fact, he’s worse now. It’s hard to watch him like that.”

“Alec is a fighter, he’ll defeat it.” She reassured me. I hoped and prayed for it every night. “Will you manage a few more scenes to rehearse? I promise that I’ll excuse you from the rest of your classes, so you could go and see Alec.”

“Yeah.”

The rest of the week was tiresome for both of us. Not only due to the classes I had to catch up on, but as well as the rehearsals. I didn’t have much time to see Alec, as his doctor was keeping him mostly in the hospital to do some tests. We’ve barely seen each other for a few days and it pissed me off. I missed my Angel, the multiple texts and calls weren’t sufficient for us at all.

How are you, baby? I sent him a text before our French teacher began the class.

Fine, sleepy, miss you, love you. His response made me smile a bit, but I still was concerned.

Love you too, darling. Sleep well. Call you later.

“So, how’s Alec?” Ragnor whispered to me, as Cat was presenting her essay about Louvre. “I heard what happened in the theater room.”

“I haven’t seen him in a week.” Ragnor interlocked our hands under the table and squeezed them. “But he’s not good. Jace told me this morning that Alec is weaker now, but he tries to play it cool. Stupid boy. He won’t admit to us that it’s not so good as he claims it to be. I just wish…I wish for this to stop.”

“What?” Ragnor asked, with horror playing in his eyes.

“Not like that. I wish for him to be in a remission again.” Madame Jean-Aux shushed us, giving us a pointed look. “You know, I never was much of a believer, but now I’m even going to a church to pray for Alec. I don’t know what to do anymore, Ragnor. I just… don’t know.”

“I wish there was something that I could do for you, Magnus. But I’m here, whenever you need me.”

Mom takes Max, me and Izzy for a weekend to grandpa. His 80 birthday. If you want, dad says you can spend the weekend at our place. – Jace Lightwood.

I was surprised by Jace’s text, so much that I couldn’t stop myself from letting out a small what from my mouth. Again, Madame Jean-Aux shushed me. I smiled apologetically at her. Ragnor nudged me in my ribs, silently asking what is wrong. I showed him the text and all he did, was teasing me with his suggestive winks.

“Uuuu,” he started as we left the classroom. “I sense a hot weekend for you, my glittery friend.”

“Oh shuu…” but then his words hit me. Indeed, I could have a weekend with Alexander. Uninterrupted by his nosy siblings. I loved them, like my own siblings, but sometimes they were too much. A perfect idea formed in my mind for a lovely time with my darling. But I couldn’t do it, without their help.

“Hi, Izzy, Jace,” I approached them in the lunchroom, as they were sitting with Tessa, Jem, Will, Clary, and Simon. “So, about the text.” Izzy looked confused at me. “Only your dad will stay?”

“Yep,” Jace answered, sipping his Coke. “Believe me, it’s better him than mom. Mom would check on you nonstop.”

“What is this about?” Isabelle looked at her brother.

“I told Magnus, that mom takes us to see grandpa this weekend and Alec stays home with dad.” Izzy turned back to me and winked as she understood Jace’s words.

“Yes,” I spoke before she could go on about mine and her brother’s sex life. “I want to have a date with Alexander. Something nice, maybe dinner at your house and…” My eyes stopped at Cate’s binder with her paperwork on Paris. Suddenly words of Alec from our first date came up to my mind. I had a perfect plan for our date. “Catie, my best of bests friends.” Ragnor faked hurt, clutching his chest. “May I borrow the pictures you had on your presentation?”

“What for?”

“Je veux prendre Alec à Paris”. All girls awed at my words, while guys rolled their eyes. “So?”

“Whatever you need, Magnus.”

“Great.” I turned to Izzy and Jace. “And I’ll need your help too. Is there someplace in your home where I could set up the date, and Alec won’t find out too soon?”

“The attic.” Both Lightwoods said at once, then Jace continued. “I could clean it up today. It was asking for cleaning up for a while now.”

“Clean freak,” Izzy teased him. “And, I could cook you something.”

“NO!” Jace grabbed my hand through the table. “I beg you, Magnus. Don’t let her near a kitchen, if you don’t want to die. I’ll do whatever you want me to, but don’t let Izzy cook.”

“Hey!” She punched him in his shoulder and the two bickered some more. Now that I had some help, I could move to put my plan into action.

Every member of the Lightwood family, sans Alec, decided to help me. All of them agreed with Robert that Alec should have some time with me, as we were both sad the past week. With directions of Maryse what Alec couldn’t eat, I and my mom prepared the food and she delivered it two hours before the date. A day before Jace sent me a picture of the attic with the decoration set up. But still, the picture didn’t give a half of how it was looking for real.

Everything was perfect. Now all I had to do is wait for my beloved.

* * *

 

ALEC POV

From the very first moment I woke up, I tried to call Magnus, but he didn’t pick up. My whole family, except for dad was going to grandfather’s birthday. It was a perfect opportunity for us to spend some time alone and he was ignoring me. When I called his mom, she said he’s working in Atelier because it was so busy today, but still, he could at least text me back. I had something to tell him, and I rather not do it through the phone.

I was lying on my bed, looking through the pictures of me and Magnus, when I heard some knocking. Soon dad walked inside and looked around the room.

“Get up.” Dad threw my hoodie on the floor in my direction. “I have a surprise for you. Come on.”

“Where?” I asked as I put the hoodie on. I was confused by all of it. Dad wasn’t from those mysterious people, he laid everything out before you, even the most painful truth. But here he was, speaking in riddles and dragging me god knows where. “Dad?”

“Just come with me, Alec.” He opened the door and looked meaningfully at me.

We were walking upstairs, on the third floor where the attic was. A place that I rarely went to, since no one cleaned in there for ages. Dad was still as silent as the mouse, not giving a single tiny thing out what was going on. Suddenly father stopped before the attic and knocked on the door, smiling genuinely. It didn’t make sense at all, but before I had a chance to ask him what was this about the door of the attic opened revealing my boyfriend.

“Hello, my love.” He greeted me, leaning against the doorframe, making me even more confused. He nodded to my father’s direction and soon, we were left alone. Magnus stood behind me and covered my eyes with his warm hands. “Trust me, and take a step inside, Alexander.”

He pushed me slightly with his body and I let myself being directed. We took maybe three steps before Magnus stopped us. I could smell the scent of melting wax, so he had to light up candles. As I inhaled more, the scent of wax mixed itself with the scent of cardamom and roses.

“Keep your eyes closed, my darling,” he whispered again to my ear. His hot breath ghosting over my neck pulse, sending shivers all over my body. Right now, I thanked myself that I decided to take a shower this morning. At least I won’t embarrass myself if this night will turn into something more. And I hoped for it, I was ready.

A soft melody filled the room, some light French tunes that I didn’t know. But nevertheless, it was nice. Magnus slid his arms over mine until our hands united. He raised our arms and crossed them on my chest, pressing me to his body.

“Open your eyes, gorgeous.” As always, his compliments made me blush furiously.

I would never hope for such amazing view, not even in my wildest dreams.

Right before me, stood a rounded table, with a white cloth, silverware was laid on it. In the middle were placed two deep red – Magnus would probably tell the exact name of color – lit candles. Something was covered with silver lids on the red plates, which I recognized was ours. But that wasn’t all. Behind the table was hanging an image with Eiffel Tower at night. Next to it was another image, Louvre at night and on the other side was the Arc of Triomphe. All the things I wanted to see one day. And here, Magnus brought them to me.

“One day, I’ll take you there, so we could both see those places.” He said in a low tone, making me fall in love with him just a little bit more. Although, I had no idea if I could love him more.

I turned around in his arms and looked up at him. He was perfect, purely perfect. His golden-green eyes were sparkling in the candlelight. His smile was so bright that I couldn’t smile back at him. I released one of my hands from his and lift it to touch his cheek. As I brushed it softly, Magnus leaned into my palm.

“You’re so perfect, Magnus.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him slowly on his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my Angel.” When Magnus led me to the table and pulled the chair for me, I felt lightheaded, but in a good way. It was so romantic. When he went to his chair I finally took in his outfit.

Magnus wore simple black jeans and white dress shirt with rolled-up sleeves. There was a black tie hanging on his neck. His hair was left down, just the way I liked it. I irked to run my hand through them. Magnus’s face was makeup free today, not even a foundation. He knew that I loved him best all natural. Suddenly I felt underdressed.

“You should give me a note. I would dress up. I look so…”

“Perfect.” He ended for me. “You look absolutely perfect, Alexander.”

“You and I understand this word differently, Mags,” he just laughed at my words.

“My love, you would look perfect to me in anything or without anything. I don’t care about your look.” I sighed, as he poured us a grape juice. Magnus picked the lids up and revealed our dinner. It looked delicious, even though I had no idea what we were having. “Enjoy, mussels and oysters. And here,” he lifted another lid, “is the tart with asparagus and salmon, in case you wouldn’t like…”

“I’m sure I’ll enjoy them. Bon appetite.” We began our dinner. At first, I had no idea how to eat mussels and oysters, but once Magnus showed me how I felt bold enough to give them a try. They were delicious, a bit slimy, but great to my palate. “It’s good.”

“I should hope so,” he winked, swallowing another oyster. “But leave some place for a dessert, Angel.”

“Can you be even more perfect?” I asked, biting down on the tart.

“Everything for you, my love.” He reached over the table and grabbed one of my hands into his, interlocking them. “I missed you so much. The whole week was…”

“A hell.” He agreed with me in a single nod. “I missed you too, and today when you weren’t answering my calls…”

“I’m sorry, but I wanted to make this surprise.” For a moment, there was a comfortable silence between us, only being interrupted by the music. Magnus got up from the chair and came to stand next to me, extending his hand. “Can I have this dance?”

I let him pull me up and drew close to his body. Magnus was an excellent dancer. He could lead me like no one else before. Mother once forced me and Jace to take dance classes, and as much as my brother could dance, I was a total klutz. Yet, here with Magnus, I danced freely to the soft sounds of the song, playing from the old gramophone.

_ I’m gonna tell you a secret, _

_ There’s this boy that I’m dreaming _

_ To have as my own until I’m no longer breathing _

_ To love him until my heart stops beating. _

He sang into my ear, running his hands over my back.

Magnus’s touch was soft, yet electrifying, as he trailed his fingers across my spine, causing shivers to me. I couldn’t stop imagining those fingers running over my naked skin. I wanted to feel Magnus’s touches, his lips on my body. I’ve been fantasizing about us having sex for the first time for a long now, but I’ve never felt so bold to ask him. Hell, even when I tried to convince him to do something more, back in the club, he still showed me the truth that none of us were ready.

However, now I was, and I wanted him so badly.

I sneaked my hand under his shirt to run it over his muscles. We’ve touched what’s under the shirts before, but never more. I wanted more. I needed to feel more, especially now, when everything could end any minute. Magnus seemed to like my touches, as he hummed into my ear.

“I love you, Alexander. You can’t have an idea how much I love you, Angel.” He said. “You are my miracle, my treasure. I love you more than it’s even possible.”

“Show me then.” He narrowed his brows, looking confused at me. “Show me, how much you love me, Magnus. I want you to have sex with me.”

“Make love.” This time I raised my brow in question. “It won’t be just sex, we’ll make love.” I agreed to his naming. “Are you ready, Alec?”

“I’ve never been readier, Mags. I want you, so much.” I leaned on my tiptoes and crushed my lips over his in a passionate kiss. “Are you ready?”

“Yes.” He answered, interlocking his fingers with mine.

I led Magnus back to my bedroom, thanking my mother that she changed the sheets today before they left to the party. In fact, now it made sense that she insisted Jace cleaning my bedroom yesterday.

Once we were on my bed, we started with simple kisses, to get each other in the proper mood. Magnus’s talented tongue was dancing with mine, leading it perfectly, just how he liked. His smooth ring-free hands were traveling across my chest, underneath my sleep shirt. I tried to unbutton his dress shirt, but it seemed to not cooperate with me.

Magnus laughed and agreed to help me. He unbuttoned his shirt with a blink of an eye and left it open for me. His bare chest was a sight to behold. I’ve seen it before, ran my hands over it, but not like this. It turned me on so much. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed the shirt off him. Magnus pulled my worn shirt over my head, leaving me exposed to him.

“Amazing as always,” he sighed before his lips were on my chest. “Angelic beauty, Alexander.”

“Magnus…” I moaned when he placed his hand over the waistband of my sweatpants.

“It will hurt, Alec, I’m not prepared.” He said with a concern, pulling my pants down, leaving me in my black boxers. “I didn’t assume we would…”

“Second drawer, under the shirts.” I pointed at the direction of the drawers, turning my face in the other direction, as I felt my cheeks burning. It was one thing thinking about sex with your boyfriend, but having it? It was both nerve-wracking and exciting.

Magnus jumped off the bed and walked towards the dresser. He pulled the drawer open and started to look through my shirts. Soon, he pulled out a bottle of lube and pack of condoms. He smirked at me, winking suggestively.

“You went shopping, I see.” He teased, looking at the items. “Chocolate, nice, and you got the right size. I do wonder, how did you know, love?”

“You don’t want to know the story,” I mumbled through my hand. Magnus came back to the bed, placing the items on his right side.

“So, you’ve planned this,” Magnus teased, opening the buckle of his belt. “You wanted me in your bed.”

“Of course, I want you in my bed,” I replied, unzipping his jeans. “I love you and I want to show it to you in every possible way, Magnus. I just want to love you.”

“I love you too, my sweet Angel.” Magnus took off his pants, along with his underwear, leaving himself stark naked. My eyes raked over his naked body, so hard and inviting to touch. “You can touch, darling or you can admire. I’m fine with both.”

“Both,” I whispered and let my hands roam over his naked body. It was better than I could ever imagine. Soft skin, sharp hips, firm thighs and finally his intimate parts. Way better than I dreamed them to be. Magnus reached for my boxers and looked me in the eye for a confirmation. When I gave him a simple, but a certain nod, he slid my boxers down, revealing my straining erection. Magnus licked his lips and eyed me from head to toe. “What?”

“You…I…” Did Magnus Bane was speechless? “Gorgeous, extremely gorgeous. I could probably come just from looking at you, so sexy, hot, and all mine. I’m going to make you feel so good, my love.”

“Have you seen yourself?” I tried to play his game of teasing, though he was a master of that. “You’re heavenly beautiful, Magnus. I’m so lucky.”

“You’re about to get luckier.” he teased, as he reached for a condom and lube.

“Don’t use that.” I pointed at the protection. “I want to feel everything. I trust you.”

Magnus began to prepare me with his fingers. It was a strange sensation at first, but soon, it turned into a bliss. When he deemed me ready, he did one of the things I dreamt him to do. He took me into his hot mouth.

“Mags…” I moaned, as he moved his mouth along my length. I grabbed his hair in my fist and tugged it lightly, making him moan around me, sending me a new wave of sensations. “Magnus…please…”

After the first wave of a pleasure, Magnus hovered me again and kissed me deeply, letting me taste myself on his tongue. As much as the first thought of this could disgust me, it was so hot as well.

“I’ll be as gentle as I can, my sweetheart.”

“I trust you, Magnus.”

There weren’t proper words that could describe the feelings I’ve felt when we finally became one. When the first pain went away, I felt myself being on cloud nine, as Magnus was slowly moving inside of me. It was amazing, incredible, breathtaking. Our hearts were racing in the same way when we kissed during making love. Our hands were marking each other’s bodies, letting us feel the biggest bliss in the world. We reached our climax together, holding hands, declaration of feelings leaving our mouths.

“I love you so much.”

We laid in an embrace, covered with the last traces of the ecstasy we reached together in this blissful lovemaking.

I was the first one, who woke up in the morning, as the earliest rays of the sun attacked my eyes. Magnus was still softly snoring in my arms, with his arm thrown over my hips. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight before me. A naked man that I loved was lying in my arms, covered with marks of our amazing night. I could get used to seeing such view each morning.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t sure if this opportunity will be given to me.

Magnus started to squirm under my subtle touches over his hipbone. I always knew he was ticklish, but I could never figure out a spot to prove this theory. Now I’ve found it.

“Mmm…good morning, darling.” Magnus opened one eye and looked at me.

“Morning, Mags.” I kissed the top of his nose.

“How do you feel, Angel?” He asked, opening his other eye and raising himself on his elbow. His voice was a bit hoarse, but as soon as he drank the water from the cup on the nightstand, it seemed to get better. “Alec?”

“I feel amazing.” I grinned, through my blush. I could feel my cheeks burning, as the memory of last night danced in my mind. “Thank you for last night.”

“No need, my love,” he replied, kissing my knuckles. “I should be the one thanking you, for choosing me as your first. I’m honored, Angel.” I didn’t know if I could turn redder. “You were wonderful, Alexander. I love you.”

We kissed slowly, but I couldn’t get myself into this kiss, as I had to let him know the truth. I couldn’t hold this from him any longer. He pulled away and looked questioningly at me.

“What is it, Alec?”

“I need to tell you something.” In one second his face was full of worry. “I promised that I won’t hold anything from you now.”

“Alec, you’re scaring me.” Magnus sat on the bed and took my hands in his. “Sweetie?”

“I wanted to tell you yesterday, but you didn’t answer my calls and then that night…I didn’t want to ruin this moment for us…”

“Alexander…”

“Magnus…I’m starting chemo in four days.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry, I couldn't stop myself at the end. Hopefully you'll forgive me.  
> Did you like it?  
> Till the next Tuesday.


	22. Time won't wait for us

**Chapter XXI**

**„Time won’t wait for us”**

Hospitals. They were never my favorite place to be. Especially now, when I was here with Alec and his family. Maryse and Robert were standing in the middle of the white room, talking to the doctor. Alec was sitting on the deep blue faux-leather couch, eyeing the hospital bed suspiciously. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or feeling, but the anxious movements of his hand told me he's nervous.

“You’re ok, baby?” I mouthed to him. Alec smiled shortly and give a simple nod.

“As I was saying,” doctor Anderson began explaining the main parts of Alec’s treatment. “The chemo should reduce the rise of lymphocytes in your bloodstream.”

“Should? So, you’re not sure it will work?” I couldn’t stop myself from semi-shouting my question. Alec squeezed my hand reassuringly, giving me a silent sign to keep quiet. Yet, I couldn’t. I needed to know as much as I could. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“I understand, you’re worrying about Alec’s health. But there’s always a risk in every treatment.” She continued, smiling at me. I looked at Robert and Maryse. They were listening to doctor Anderson accurately, though I could see in their eyes that they’re worrying as much as I was or even more. “I set up a four-month treatment for you, Alec. You’ll be receiving a slightly different chemo than the first time. We’ll give you a mix of fludarabine, cytarabine, and mitoxantrone. We’re going to give you four chemo in four months. Of course, you’ll stay here, during taking them. You’ll be receiving meds for five days and we give you two days to recover then you’ll be going home.”

“Ok,” Alec said, as the doctor written down some notes. “Are you still my doctor?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I will be your doctor still since I know your case for years now.”

Alec was clearly happy with the fact, he grinned at the doctor and relaxed, letting go of my hand.

“Any new diet?” Robert asked, taking the notes. At least he scribbled down the most important things. I need to ask him to explain this more to me, once we’ll be at their home. As much as you could find everything on the internet these days, I’d rather hear it from his experience.

“You still eat healthy, right?” Alec confirmed it with a curt nod. “Then eat just the same, add some more vegetables and fruits. And remember no alcohol. I know you’re an adult now…”

“I’m not drinking.” Alec cut her off immediately. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Alright, any more questions?” I had so many of them, but couldn’t find my voice. So many information was floating through my mind, mixed with the huge fear I had for Alec’s health. I tried to not show it to Alec. He had too much on his plate anyway. I needed to be strong for my Angel. “Let’s talk about side effects.”

“Side effects?” I asked, swallowing hard.

“Yes, vomiting, tiredness, headaches, muscle aches, loss of appetite, loss of hair. These are just a few possible effects of chemotherapy.” Doctor Anderson was listing. “But, they may not happen.”

“Exactly, may not, Alec.” Robert looked at him meaningfully. “You don’t have to shave your head now.”

“But they may.” He stated firmly. Alec told me lately, how his first treatment went, even though it wasn’t an easy thing for him. He spoke of how he had shaved his head, just before he took his first chemo. Alec just had met Ellie then, who told him of her way to control life, while being sick. My boyfriend just had taken her advice and shaved his head as well. Hopefully, now, he will wait a little bit longer, though I’d love him either way.

“All right,” doctor Anderson closed Alec’s file. “Hope you didn’t plan anything for today, it’s gonna take a while. I shall send David here to start your chemo. Make yourself comfortable, Alec. If you need something, press the white button.”

After we’ve been left alone in the room, Alec sat on the bed, leaning on the back of it. He took off his hoodie and threw it at me, laughing when the sleeves tangled themselves in my spikes. A moment later, when I’ve managed to throw his hoodie off me, the door of the room opened and a man walked in. He was tall, though not as tall as me or Alec. His hair was blonde, a darker shade than Jace’s pulled in a short ponytail. He wore mint hospital clothes and had stethoscope hang over his neck.

“Alec Lightwood, I hoped to never see you again in this room.” The male nurse eyed him from head to toe, giving a small smile. “Your girlfriend is not here?”

“Ellie is not my girlfriend, David,” Alec replied, placing his arm loosely for the nurse to stitch him to the chemo. David hung a plastic bag filled with some red liquid on the hanger and rammed a needle through Alec’s vein. “Ouch!”

“Are you ok, sweetheart?” I asked, taking Alec’s hand in mine. I couldn’t stop myself from glaring the other man. How could he hurt my lovely Alec? Lightwood brushed my hand in a silent response.

“David,” he called the nurse, as the latter finished adjusting the bed for Alec. “This is Magnus, my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, kiddo.” He offered me a small smile and left the room, leaving us alone again.

“You don’t have to stay with me here.” Alec lay down on the bed, being careful to not move the needle. “In fact, you should go to school, Mag.”

“One day of absence won’t make me a bad student.” I joked, lying down next to him. “At least not worse than I already am.” Alec opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it. “Besides, I want to stay with you. I’m not going anywhere, so better get used to me here, darling.”

“Ok.” Alec yawned and curled up to me, placing his head on my chest. “Mind if I sleep for a little while?”

“Go ahead, sweetpea. I’ll be here when you wake.”

Alec was fast asleep, which gave me time to contemplate about the current situation. Alec was sick again and he’d have to take chemo. I’ve pulled out my phone and started to read again about the treatment. It scared me as hell. Even though Alec fought leukemia the first time, there wasn’t a hundred percent certainty that he’ll do it again. I prayed for it every day.

“You have no idea, how much I love you,” I whispered to his sleeping form. “I can’t let you go, my love.”

“He looks so small now.” I heard a quiet, female voice, coming from the door. As I turned my head towards it, I spotted Ellie, leaning against the doorframe. Ellie walked into the room and sat down by Alec’s feet on the bed. She placed her hand upon his knee and brushed it. If she wouldn’t be his best friend and a girl, I could be jealous. “Which is ironic, because last time we were here, we were both smaller.”

“Nice to see you, Ellie.” I slowly moved Alec’s body off me, to make more place for us to sit. Instead, Ellie got up and move to sit on the small couch by the front wall. She beckoned me to sit down next to her.

“Fill me in.”

“Alec will have to stay here for a week. He will take chemo for five days and then he’ll be able to go home.” My eyes wandered back to sleeping, Alec.

“How are you holding up?” her question confused me so much that dropped Alec’s phone, I held in my hand, to the floor.

“What?”

“In therapy, they say that we should talk with our families about feelings. Not just what we feel, but what they feel as well.” She explained, grabbing my hand in her. “Am, sorry,” she let go of my hand and bit her lip down. “I tend to be a bit touchy when emotions take over me. Alec was a victim of my hugs for years now.”

“Yes, he tends to love hugs, especially at nights.”

“I didn’t have to know about your whole sex life,” she joked, elbowing me in the left side. “Anyway, how do you feel? It’s new for you. We’ve been in this situation before, but for you, it’s all new.”

“Yeah. I’m scared.” I admitted, sighing. “It’s so hard to watch him like that, all vulnerable, sick. I hate that I can’t do anything to help him. And I know it can get worse, I’ve read up. And I hate this.”

“It’s not going to be pretty, Magnus.” Ellie once again grabbed my hand in hers and squeezed. “Last time he had gotten so thin, that you could count his bones with no difficulty. But Alec’s a fighter. Especially now, when he has so many reasons to live. Are you ready for it, Magnus?”

“I’m not leaving him, Ellie. I love him so much.” She smiled genuinely. “I’m here for good and bad.”

“That’s great because he needs us now.”

“I love you too.” we heard Alec’s hoarse voice. When our eyes laid on him, he was watching us with a soft, sleepy smile. “Both of you.”

“How are you feeling, Allie-cat?” Ellie got up and moved to sit next to Alec. He rubbed his eyes and tried to sit up. I was there to help him in a moment, same as Ellie. Once Alec was sitting on the bed, he looked at me and patted an empty space next to him. I sat down, letting him lean his back on my chest.

“A bit tired and hungry, but overall, I feel ok.” Alec reached for the water bottle on the stand. He drank all of it almost in one go. “I would eat something, like maybe a cheeseburger or…oh I know, I’d eat your mother’s pasta with salmon. Or…”

“I can grab you a dinner from a hospital café,” Ellie interrupted his rambling. “I think there are some vegetarian chops made of tofu and pure.”

“It sounds yuck.” They both laughed at my comment. “I can go and buy something for you, darling. Maybe not a cheeseburger, because your mother would have my head, but I can grab you something from Atelier. I call mom to prepare something on go and…”

“Great!” He cut me off. “I call Jace and he’ll pick it on his way here. My wallet is somewhere in my jacket.” I gave him a meaningful look, before I texted mom to make something, then I texted Jace to pick the food. “Ugh…I need to get up.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea?”

“Mhm. I need to use a bathroom.” Alec grabbed the hanger in a tight grip and slowly walked towards an adjoining bathroom. He came back a few minutes later and sat back on the bed.

“Ok, lovebirds, I’m off to go.” Ellie kissed Alec’s forehead before she hugged him tightly. “Love you, Allie-bear. Call me if you need anything.”

“I love you too, El.”

“Bye Magnus.” She waved at me, as she opened the door of the room and left us alone.

An hour later, when we were finishing a meal brought by Jace, Alec was looking sadly at the watch on the wall. Soon the visiting hours would be over and I’d have to leave him alone here. I didn’t want that. If I could help it, I’d stay here with him for a whole week.

We were stalling for the last minutes, kissing lazily on the hospital bed. If you’d ask me, not one of my best experiences, even though I was kissing with Alec.

“You need to go,” Alec muttered, pulling away from me.

“I know. But I don’t want to.” Alec closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine. “I love you so much, Alexander.”

“I love you too, Mag.” He opened his eyes and looked in mine with love and hope. “I’m going to fight this off, for you, mom, dad, Max, Jace, Izzy, Ellie. I’m going to try my best to fight this off. I will.”

“I know, Alexander. And I’ll be here, with you, every step of this fight.”

“Even when it’s gonna be ugly?” he asked, biting down on his lip.

“Especially then.” I placed my hand upon Alec’s cheek and brushed it softly. “I’ll be here when it’s going to get ugly. I’ll be here if things will go bad way. We will fight this off, together, Alexander. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m here for everything, sweetheart. I’m here.”

  
  



	23. For your entertainment

**Chapter XXII**

**„For your entertainment”**

Alec was home for two weeks now, being released from the hospital after the first dose of chemo. He was feeling rather good, as much as I could see. He was slightly pale, but not in an unhealthy way, which was good. His beautiful eyes were shining with love when he woke up and saw me in his bed.

“Good morning, love,” I said, kissing his lips. Morning kisses with Alec were one of my best way of starting a day. He was still half-sleepy, yet very responsive. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re beautiful.” He replied, snuggling up to me.  He wanted to say something more, but unfortunately, the door of his bedroom opened and Jace, Isabelle, and Max walked inside. Alec yelled, covering his naked body with the blanket, leaving me half-naked to face his siblings.

“Good morning!” Isabelle cheered, jumping on the bed, next to us. I loved them, like my own siblings, but they knew how to interrupt our morning fun. “Mom and dad are out, so what are we going to do?”

“I had plans with your brother, but…”

“Were you planning to do the nasty adult stuff?” Max asked, looking from me to the pile of covers my boyfriend hid underneath. I nodded to this eagerly, receiving a slightly annoyed groan from Jace and grin from Izzy. “Well, no time for this, we must go now.”

“Go where?” I asked, confused. As much as I could recall, Alec and I haven’t had any plans for today other than staying home, watch movies, maybe go for a walk to the park, some dinner and nice, cozy night in his bed.

“You promised to take us to the zoo today, Magnus.” Ah right. Now I remembered the promise I made last week to Max. In fact, Isabelle and Jace decided to join us on the escapade. “I’m all ready and we already ate. Izzy made you sandwiches for breakfast.” At that, I couldn’t help but look in a terror. “Don’t worry, Jace supervised her all the time.”

“Ok. Let us get dressed and eat and we can go.” The youngers of Lightwoods left us alone. As soon as Alec heard the door closed, he peeked out from under the covers with his cheeks as red as the tomatoes. He looked utterly adorable. “I think that our family has this weird sixth sense when we want to have some fun, Alec dear. Don’t you think so?”

“I guess.” He yawned, untangling himself from the covers. He threw his legs over the edge of a bed and got up quickly. Alec walked towards the bathroom swaying his delicious hips on his way. He did it on purpose, I could tell. I no time, I got up as well and ran after him. I put my hands on his hips, as the hot water hit my back. “Keep your hands to your body, Magnus.”

“Why? I like your body more.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him, before I attacked him in a hungry kiss, with my hands roaming all over his body.

We’ve left the bathroom a half of an hour later when the water turned cold.

The whole time in the zoo, Max was dragging me by my hand to every possible animal. Isabelle was walking around with us, while Jace and Alexander decided to walk slower. Curse me that I couldn’t say no to any of Lightwoods, so when Max asked to go with him since none of his siblings were fond of the animals, I had to say yes, even though, I’d like to walk with my boyfriend.

When we turned to watch lions, I saw Alec talking over the phone with someone. At first, I thought it’s Ellie, but his addressing was different and too suspicious.

“I know he’s your friend, but Magnus cannot know.” Alec tried to sound quiet through his talking. “Not yet. Yes…I’ll meet you in the afternoon when Magnus will be on his rehearsal. The usual place. Try to keep this a secret for as long as you can. Ok? Yeah, I’ll see you soon. Bye.”

When I heard him ending the call, I turned my attention back to Max, trying to hide my eavesdropping. Alec was hiding something from me, with possibly one of mine friends? The first thing that came to my mind was cheating. But Alexander couldn’t cheat on me, especially with one of my friends.

He loves me! He can’t cheat on me!

But then…why didn’t he tell? He promised to not keep any more secrets from me. This wasn’t good. I needed to know, what has he been holding from me. Whatever it was.

I just hoped that it wouldn’t be hurtful.

For the following week, Alec was strangely distracting for me. A date here, a movie night there. He tried to occupy my free time with everything. As much as I loved him and appreciated the emotional shower, it was more than suspicious. By then, I knew, that Alec did something he didn’t want me to know.

I tried to talk with my friends about it, but none had time for me, even during breaks in rehearsals, when Alec was back home doing god knows what and with who. Different scenarios ran through my mind, but nothing seemed to be fitting. Not cheating, not some surprise travel, since Alec wasn’t keen on traveling in his state now. Even my mother’s idea of a possible proposal was unbelievable. For God’s sake, we were just eighteen, we couldn’t get married yet.

So, what was it? What was he hiding from me?

A sudden thought invaded my mind. Was it Alec’s health? Did he confide in one of my friends, but not me? Maybe he spoke to Catarina since she’s going to medic school after the graduation? She knows a lot about medical stuff. But why didn’t he tell me? Was it that bad?

“Are you ok, Magnus?” I felt Alec’s cool hand upon my arm, brushing it lightly. We were lazing in my living room, watching some comedy Alec had picked out. “You’ve zoned out on me. I know that you’re not watching the movie, so, what’s going on?”

“Are you alright, Alexander?” I couldn’t help the concern in my voice. “Tell me, what’s going on.”

“Nothing’s going on, Mags. I’m good…well, I’m not worse, if that’s what you’re asking. Besides,” he bumped lightly on my thigh with his knee. “You’re going to every doctor’s meeting with me and every chemo. You know perfectly, how my health is, Mags.”

“You’ve been acting so strange, and so are my friends…” I started explaining my concerns. “I heard you talking to one of my friends, I’m sure it’s Cate. You told her to keep a secret from me…”

Alec sighed loudly before he bit his lip.

“Ok, but don’t tell anyone I told you.” I nodded to this, grabbing Alec’s hand in mine. “The truth is, that Catarina asked me to help her with a small favor, for Ragnor.” Now that was surprising. I raised my left eyebrow in a question, waiting for Alec to continue. “You know how Ragnor wants to go the law school, right?” Indeed, that was true, Ragnor wanted to be a lawyer. “And Catarina asked me, to ask my dad if Ragnor could help in the office during the summer and learn a bit of the profession, you know. So, I’ve managed to get him a training in my dad’s law office. He’ll get to go on meetings with clients, working on cases and go to the court with my Dad.”

“Why didn’t you want me to know?”

“It’s because you’re the biggest gossiper I know.” Alec pointed out with his look. I tried to defend myself, but Alec kept staring at me. “Come on, Mags, the moment I’d tell you, you’d tell Ragnor. You can’t keep a secret, even if your life depended on it.”

“That’s not true.” I opposed to it.

“Mhm. Do you remember, when Jace and I bought Izzy that dress from that Italian shop she loves? You told her the very next day, a day before her sixteen birthday.” Alec recalled the situation from two months ago. “You burnt the surprise, Mags.”

“She was so sad, because of Meliron, I had to cheer her up.” Alec rolled his eyes effectively. “Ok. I get your point. And I swear, I’ll keep my mouth shut and won’t tell a word to Rags.”

“He already knows,” Alec replied, brushing my naked thigh. Seeing, as this was our night in, we decided for a lounging attire, meaning boxers and T-shirts. “He was yesterday at our home and my dad had a long talk with him. I’ve never seen Ragnor smiling so much like he was yesterday. Like really, he was shining with a joy.”

“No wonder, Angel. Ragnor always dreamt about being a lawyer, ever since he was ten. He watched Judge Judy for years, always making me watch it with him.” Alec laughed heartedly, making himself more comfortable between my legs. “So that’s all? No more secrets?”

“That’s all, handsome.”

For now, I believed Alexander. Though I felt that there was more in his lately suspicious behavior. As I discovered later, I wasn’t wrong.

But boy, I did not expect that.

…

Trying to be sneaky around Magnus was the hardest task I ever managed to do. Yet, I was successful so far, always working on it, when we weren’t together. I was grateful, that his friends and my siblings decided to be the most helpful.

“So, how do we do it?” Raphael asked as we were sitting around the table in Exotic, during its close time. “Magnus will sniff this strange behavior of us.”

“I’m good at distracting him,” I admitted, lowering my gaze to the table, refusing to look at everyone, as my cheeks burnt under their gaze. “I will keep him busy.”

“Ok.” Cate decided to lead the conversation now. “Guys, we need to focus. We don’t have much time.”

“Yeah, Magnus’s birthday is in two weeks.” Indeed, Magnus’s nineteenth birthday was in two weeks. And we were in the middle of nowhere with preparations, as we couldn’t decide what kind of party throw for him. “What should we do? I’m hoping you guys have any ideas since I’m not a party person.”

“That’s why you have me, big brother,” Isabelle said, throwing her arm around my shoulder. “I think we need to throw him a huge ass party. Maybe here.” She turned to the bartender, who let us in. “Hey, Trent, how much would we cost renting the place for a whole night?”

“I’m sure that I can convince my boss to give you a discount.”

“Money isn’t the problem, Izzy,” I reminded her lightly. “I’m paying for this. Ideas, I need Ideas.”

“How ‘bout some theme party?” Ragnor proposed, looking through one of Izzy’s magazine. “He loves to dress up for anything. I think he’d like it.”

“I like the idea.” I agreed, looking at my friends. They were nodding as well to this. “Ok, but what theme?”

“Oh, god, it’s gorgeous.” Isabelle cheered, looking down at her phone. She shoved the phone into my hand and pointed at the photo that Magnus sent to her. He was wearing a leopard printed sleeveless shirt with pink tie and glitter. Underneath the photo was a simple text _You think your brother will like it? ^^_. I had to admit, Magnus looked so hot in this shirt, tight around his muscled torso. I couldn’t help but lick my lips at this. Isabelle took the phone back and typed something. I just hoped that she wouldn’t embarrass me.

“Can we get back to the planning? You can fawn over Magnus later, Alec.” How did Ragnor know? Before I had a chance to ask it, he spoke more. “Your cheeks betray you in the most reddish way, my friend. I know the feeling. Now back to the planning.”

“Wildcats party.” Isabelle showed the photo of my boyfriend to his friends. Raphael rolled his eyes at this but nodded to this. Ragnor, Tessa, and Catarina agreed to this idea. “Just imagine guys. We could decorate the place with some faux fur and wild cats’ prints over the tables. We could have an open bar.”

“You’re all underage.” Trent hollered from behind the bar, as he was wiping the glass. “You won’t be drinking under my watch. I could make you cool cocktails instead, no alcohol.”

“Party pooper,” Jace commented. “No worries, I can sneak some alcohol in. Anyway, I have a great idea! We could get him a stripper too. That would be cool.”

“Jace!” I scolded him, nudging him in his ribs. There was no way that I would let some stranger do a striptease for my boyfriend.

“This isn’t a bachelor party, Lightwood, but a birthday party.” Ragnor reminded him, looking slightly disgusted by the idea. That is why I liked him the most from all of Magnus’s friends. “Ok, we have a theme and a place. We shall make it a surprise party, of course?”

“Duh,” Isabelle said, not looking up from her phone. I guess, she was either gossiping with her own boyfriend or mine. “Someone will have to bring Magnus here and it can’t be his lovely beau.” She turned her gaze to me. “Come on, Alec, you can’t keep a secret from Magnus. Let’s be honest, big brother.”

“Hey! I kept a secret from him for about a week now.” Izzy just gave me one of her knowing looks. “Ok, ok, we have a plan. Now let’s make it true.”

The next two weeks all of us tried to be sneaky around Magnus. For once, I was so grateful he was so obsessed with me and my health that he didn’t leave me even for a moment, sans his rehearsals. My parents and his mother decided to let us swing between our places since they knew, they won’t be able to separate us. Now, Magnus had his own place in my closet and I had in his. Ellie along with Izzy and Jace were joking, saying we’re practically a married couple now.

It was nice, even if a bit embarrassing. Oh, sue me. I was in love.

“Are you sure, you’re ok with me going with Ragnor to celebrate him working with your dad?” Magnus asked as he was buttoning his leopard printed shirt, he had bought two weeks ago. “I can cancel it.”

“Magnus, go.” I helped him with his pink tie. “Your friend needs you and I’ll be here when you’ll get back.”

“Ok. I should be back in a few hours.” I nodded to that with a small smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too. And take your keys, in case we’ll be sleeping already.” He grabbed his own keys from my nightstand. “You don’t want Jace to scream in a night that he was woken up again. He’ll be cranky all morning.”

As soon as Magnus left my house, I jumped out of the bed. A quick five minutes shower was enough for me. I called for Isabelle who brought me clothes we’ve bought two days ago, especially for this party. A black dress shirt with leopard accents on it, so I’d match to Magnus and a pink glittered tie. I even let her put a little bit of a makeup on me, hoping that my boyfriend would appreciate it. A half of hour later the three of us were ready, same as our parents and Max. They were only supposed to be at the first part of the party when he’ll blow the candles and receive the gifts. The actual party was only for teenagers.

Once in the Exotic, I admired Isabelle’s and Raphael’s job. They were masters in party planning and decorating. The leopard, zebra and cheetah printed covers were draped over the couches in the private section of the club. Pink, blue, orange and yellow small lamps were placed in the middle of the tables, lightening the room. The colorful disco ball was shining all over the dance floor. Magnus’s favorite music was blasting through the speakers, as the guest were gathering.

“It looks wonderful, Alec.” Ayanna, Magnus’s mom said, hugging me. “My boy will love it.”

“I hope so.”

We turned the lights off, as I got a text from Ragnor that they will be here in two minutes. Everyone was quiet for a moment, standing in the middle of the dance floor. We heard someone opening the door to the club. Soon, Magnus’s confused voice filled the room.

“Are you sure it’s opened already? The lights are…”

“SURPRISE!!!” suddenly the light was on and all of us cheered for my boyfriend. Magnus was standing before us, eyes wide in a shock and confusion.

“What…”

“Happy birthday, man!” Ragnor clapped him on his shoulder and pulled him into his arms. Magnus still shocked looked around the room. Soon he pulled away from him and let his mother hug him.

“Happy birthday, sweetheart.” Ayanna kissed Magnus’s on him both cheeks. “They made me stay quiet about all of this. You’re so grown up now, baby. Happy birthday.”

“Birthday?” It seemed that Magnus realized what day was today. “I forgot about my own birthday? How lame…”

“But we remembered.” I walked closer to him and kissed him on his lips. At this stage of our relationship, I didn’t care that everyone saw us. They were our friends, who accepted us as we came. “Happy birthday, Magnus. I love you.”

“I can’t believe I’ve forgotten my birthday, Alexander.” He sighed into the crook of my neck, once he was done with getting his presents and wishes from his friends.

“Hey, you’ve been busy lately,” I replied, stroking his spiked hair, trying to avoid being poked. “Do you like your party?”

“I most certainly love your look, darling. Is this the makeup?” he asked looking at my face. “You look ravishing. I think that I’m going to ask my mom to sleep at some friend’s house tonight. I have a cute, hot boy to ravish all night long.”

“I really have to stop walking at your sexual innuendos.” We heard Ellie’s voice behind our backs. We turned around and greeted her with a smile. “I hope it’s ok for me being here. Happy birthday, Magnus.”

“You’re Alexander’s friend, so you’re my friend, Ellie. Thank you for coming.” They hugged and Ellie gave him her gift, a new album of Adam Lambert, Magnus’s favorite musician.

“I have something for you as well,” I pulled out a golden envelope from my jeans pocket and gave it to him with a hopeful smile.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, my love. You’re the greatest gift I could ever receive.” Trust Magnus to be sappy when getting a present. However, he opened the envelope and pulled out two cards. When he read it, he looked at me quite shocked. He looked back at the tickets and then back at me. “There’s two…”

“You like it?” He gave me a small nod.

“Alec, there’s two tickets…”

“Yes,” I replied, taking his hand in mine, interlocking our fingers. “If you want, I can go with…”

“Me?” he finished, eyes tearing up. “But…we need to ask your parents and doctor and…”

“They already said yes.” I interrupted before he could go on with his constant worrying. “I’ll get a bigger dose of supplements and my results are good now, so yes. If you want, I can go with you to Los Angeles for Adam Lambert’s concert next Saturday. We can go on Friday, I already booked a hotel room for us. We can make it three days trip, like small vacations for us.”

“Yes! Yes!” He shouted so loudly, so all of the people looked at us. Magnus drew me into his chest, squeezing the life out of me. “I love you so much, Alexander!”

“Oh my god, did he propose?” someone asked through the music. “It’s so cute.”

“Nope! No proposal, yet!” Magnus shouted back and returned his focus to me again. “I love you, darling.”

“I love you too.”

Next weekend, after being told by doctor Anderson how should I take care of myself, Magnus and I went for our trip. We longed for some time together away from our everyday problems. Los Angeles was incredible. We were having so much fun, both discovering the city and lounging on the beach before we went to the concert. Even though it wasn’t my kind of music, I enjoyed it, while being with Magnus. Especially, when he was swaying his hips before me or singing into my ear. We looked so normal among those people here, like plain teenagers in love. Although, there was nothing plain in Magnus Bane.

For the first time in a long time, we were just Alec and Magnus, without the crappy faith hanging upon us.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, you liked the chapter and it brought you some ease and good feelings. It did to me, especially today, when my day was crappy. Not only I had a terrible week at work, but as well, today I had a car accident. Thank god, nothing bad happened to me and the other driver, but I got a ticket and have to repair my car. F*ck it.  
> Anyway...  
> Till the next Tuesday and prepare for tears.


	24. Just the way you are

**Chapter XXIII**

**“Just the way you are”**

After the fourth chemo, Alec had gotten worse to the point, he was assigned to stay in the hospital. I could easily tell he hated that. He missed not just the school, but his friends as well. Seeing as only the closest circle of his friends knew about his illness, only a few could visit him. Namely, Clary, Simon, Ellie and me. I was here every day, as much as I could. Hell, if the visit hours would allow it, I’d sleep here as well. Frankly, we were texting, calling and chatting all the time we weren’t together.

Seeing Alexander designated to the bed, wasn’t an easy thing to do. Tears were building in my eyes, whenever I saw him being paler than usual or worse when his beautiful blue eyes weren’t shining anymore. It pained me seeing him like that. It hurt me, even more, when I could do nothing to help him.

This was Alexander’s struggle and all I could do was being by his side and offer my support and love.

“Hello, darling.” I greeted him on this Saturday morning when I came with a visit. Alec was lying on the bed, listening to the music on his iPad. He wore his usual dark gray sweatpants and one of his black t-shirts, which used to hug him tight around his torso, but now was loosely on him, seeing as Alec lost his weight lately. Whenever we laid on the bed, touching briefly, I could feel his bones underneath my fingers.

Alec took off the headphones of his iPad and smiled wide at me.

“Hey, Mags.” He leaned up to kiss me. The kiss was soft, yet, there was some passion in it. As we pulled away, Alec sniffed my neck. “You have a new cologne?”

“A gift from your darling sister. I decided to give it a try. What do you think?”

“It’s nice, but I like your previous one better.” He admitted, shoving his body back on the bed to make a room for me. “Is that for me?” He pointed at the green cocktail in my hand. When I nodded, he cringed his nose but took the cup nevertheless. Alec drank it fast and returned the cup to me. He licked his lips and cocked his head to the left. “Not bad today. How’s school yesterday?”

“Everyone is buzzed about the Prom.” I shrugged, taking off my white denim jacket. “And exams, of course. By the way, you can be proud of yours truly, because I have B from math. All thanks to you, my sexy tutor.”

“Sweet! I told you that you can do it, Mags.” Alec kissed me once again, this time, shortly, more like a peck. “I’m so proud of you, honey.”

“And that’s all. Prom and exams.” I lay next to Alec on my side, so I could watch him closely.

“Do you have a ticket already?” I raised my eyebrow at this. “You should go to the prom, Magnus. You wanted that. All of your friends will be there, you should join them and have fun.”

“I don’t care about the prom, Alexander,” I stated, brushing his cheek softly. “Besides, I would go to the prom just with you.” At that, his smile fell. “We can have our own Prom here, just the two of us. I can sneak some food, music. I will bargain with Doctor Anderson to let me stay a bit more than the visiting hours.”

“Magnus…”

“End of the story, Alexander. I’m coming here and we’re having our night.” He huffed in a reply but nodded nonetheless. “How are you today?”

“Good. I haven’t vomited all day, so I call it a success.” By now, I wasn’t even disgusted, when Alec vomited in my presence. It was normal. “I was even able to take a shower all by myself, and I walked out to take a fresh air with dad when he came by at lunch.”

“That’s wonderful, darling.”

Alec tugged my shirt and pulled me above himself, sneaking his hand in my loose hair. I decided to let them free today, just the way Alec liked them. Being extra careful to not squeeze him too much, I hovered above Alec and leaned down to capture his lips in mine. Kissing Alexander was amazing as always. His lips moving in a sync with mine, nipping on my lower lip. Lightwood placed his hand on my neck, pulling me even closer to himself if that was possible.

I sneaked my right hand in Alec’s black locks and stroke it lightly, to not cause him any pain. His hair wasn’t so fluffy anymore, in fact, they were thick and dry, but I still loved to touch them. Alec moaned in my mouth, making me smile against his lips. When I retrieved my hand, I realized that something is tickling me. I pulled away from Alec and looked at the middle of my hand.

There was a big handful of his black hair. When I looked up at his head, I could see a white space, where the hair was just a second ago. Alec looked at my hand, then on my face and lowered his gaze in shame, I could tell.

“It’s alright, darling,” I assured him, throwing his hair in the bin next to his bed. “It’s nothing.”

“I think you should go.” He said, avoiding my eyes.

“Alexander…”

“Please…go…” he whispered, turning his head away. Alec lowered his hands to his sides and balled his fists. As much as I wanted to assure my beloved that everything was alright, I knew he wanted to be alone now. I could tell he was embarrassed by this situation. Not wanting to cause him more pain, I stood up from the bed and leaned down to kiss Alec on his cheek. He froze under my lips and I tried to not take it into my heart.

“I love you, sweet pea,” I said to him before I left the room. I could hear his reply mixed with quiet sobs.

“I love you too.”

When I closed the door to his room and leaned against them, I could hear him sobbing. It shattered my heart to pieces, knowing that he doesn’t want me there with him now. Tears were streaking down my face as I pulled my phone and called his sister.

“Hey, what’s up, Magnus?”

“Izzy…” Then I realized that single four strands of Alec’s hair remained on my hand. “Alec needs you and Jace now.”

“Is everything ok? Are you crying? Magnus, what’s going on?” she kept asking, but I couldn’t tell her. “Magnus!”

“Just come here, ok? He doesn’t want me to be with him now…and I don’t think he should be alone. Just come, Isabelle, you and Jace.” With that, I hung up and walked down the hallway.

Watching those strands in the middle of my hand, made me realize something. He was losing his hair. Right then, Alexander’s illness became more real.

* * *

 

The next morning, I was at the hospital as soon as the visiting hours started. When I parked my car, I spotted Lightwoods’ car two rows before mine. I walked inside the hospital, straight to Alec’s room. Yet, before I had a chance to walk in, I heard some voices from inside.

“It was the most embarrassing moment in my life!” Alec exclaimed with a loud sigh. “Magnus was so…”

“I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you think,” Ellie replied to him. “He loves you, he’ll understand.”

“Imagine yourselves making out with your boyfriend and suddenly you stop because he has your hair in his hand.” For a moment, there was a silence in the room, before Alec sighed again. “I think he was embarrassed too and…and I told him to go. I couldn’t handle the pity in his eyes.”

“Alec…” I recognized Jace’s voice among the female’s voices. “Magnus doesn’t look at you with pity. I think it’s called love. Did you send him a pic of your new look?”

“Not yet,” Alec admitted slowly. “I’m trying to get used to it again by myself. Jace, have you brought my hoodie?”

“Yeah, I’ve got it right here.” A moment later, I heard the zipper being pulled up. “You don’t have to hide it from Magnus, Alec. It’s normal.”

“Not for him.” I decided that it was about time to make myself noticeable for them. I knocked on the door softly and gave Alec a moment to invite me in. “Come in.”

“Hello, darling…oh, and everyone.” I tried to act as if I didn’t know about their presence. I placed the cocktail I bought for Alec on the stand next to his bed and leaned down to kiss him. So far, I decided to not address the current situation and play along with his small denial. “How are you today?”

“Good.” Alec avoided looking at me, instead, he looked at his siblings and Ellie. I sat down on the bed next to him and smiled widely at him.

“Ok, we’ll be going now.” Jace addressed the rest of them and urged them to leave. “Call if you need anything, big brother. Dad will come by in the evening, so if there’s anything, call.”

After they bid their goodbyes to Alec, we were left alone. Alec was still sitting with the hood on, despite the hotness in the room.

“Aren’t you hot?” Alexander finally looked at me, with cute blush decorating his cheeks. “Yes, in both means, darling. You always look hot, but it’s really warm in here, you can take your hoodie off.”

“I rather not.” He replied, lowering his gaze to his hands, placed on his lap.

“You don’t have to hide from me, Alexander.” I moved my hands to his hood to slid it off, but Alec grabbed my wrists. “It’s alright, baby, you don’t have to hide.” Alec let go of my wrists and nodded curtly, letting me slide the hood off his head. He balled his hands into fists and I could hear him take a breath and hold it. “Beautiful.”

Alec’s head was shaved, but he still was as gorgeous as the day I really met him, all those months ago. Alexander still refused to look at me.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Mags.” He said in a cold tone. “I’m far from beautiful.”

I moved my hand from his cheek, where I stroked it, under his chin and lifted it, so he would look me in the eye. However, Alec kept his blue eyes closed. I leaned and kissed his closed eyelids, then his nose and finally lips. Alec responded hesitantly to the kiss, but he wasn’t too much into it. I could still feel him being embarrassed. We pulled away, but I didn’t let Alec look away from me. I held his chin hoping he still saw my love for him in my eyes.

“You are the most beautiful boy I ever laid my eyes on, Alexander. Gorgeous, angelic, handsome,” I listed all compliments I could come up then. Alec was shaking his head to my words. “You are, Angel.”

“Do you remember how you told me, black hair and blue eyes are your favorite combination? I don’t have my hair anymore, so…” Alec drawled, shrugging his arms.

“It’s not the look I love, in you, Alexander, it’s your pure heart.” He snorted in a response. “Sweetheart, do you remember how I told you that you could miss a leg or two and I’d still love you?” A small nod was the only response I’ve gotten from him. “So, please understand, that I don’t care if you have your hair or not. You’re still my Angel that I’m in love with. You’re still the most beautiful to me.”

“I see how people are looking at me, with pity.”

“Of course, they will, sweet pea,” I explained, softly stroking his cheek with my left hand. “It’s a human’s nature. You’re sick, baby, and losing hair is a normal thing. Maybe I’ll have sometimes the look as well, but please, don’t hold it against me, darling. It’s not easy to watch you suffer, but I’m not leaving. You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Alexander.”

“You should leave, Mags. You’re young, you don’t deserve such life with a burden. Maybe if we’ll bre…”

“Shut up, Alec.” I snapped at him, glaring. “You don’t get to tell me what I deserve and what not. I love you and I’m staying. I'd rather be here with you than doing god knows what. It’s hard, but we’ll get through this, together.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec leaned his head over my shoulder and circled my waist with his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Alexander. Just get into that pretty head of yours that I’m staying with you for the good and bad. I’m not leaving and we’ll get through everything, together. If you try to throw me out of your room, know, that I’ll sit in front of your door and howl all night long. Someone will take a pity on me and let me back in eventually. Or better yet, I’ll chain myself to your bed with those pink fluffy handcuffs I bought.”

Alec laughed pulling away from me. He lied down on the bed, scooting to the wall, leaving space for me to lay next to him.

“I would let you in then because I’d want to spare the poor people a view of you howling. They would be scarred for life.” He laughed again, throwing his arm around my waist. “I just imagined it.”

“You’re so beautiful when you laugh, honey-bunch.” Alec’s cheeks were rosy again. He looked utterly adorable and I couldn’t stop myself from kissing his lips shortly. “You looked so sweet, my heart, I had to kiss you.”

“You’re an idiot.” He commented, brushing my bare arm. “Idiot.”

“But you love this idiot,” I grinned widely at him. When Alec didn’t respond, I mocked a fake hurt. “Do you?”

“Stop pouting, you know I can’t resist, then.” Alec tried to lift my lips with his fingers. “I hate Izzy and Ellie that they told you my weakness.”

“And I know when to use it.” I winked at him, kissing his nose. “Admit it, darling, you love me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

“And I love you, honeybunch.”

“This one no,” Alec stated firmly, snuggling up to me.

“But…”

“Be quiet, close your eyes and nap, or I’ll shove you to the floor, Mags and consider chaining you.”

“Kinky, I like it, but I don’t think the hospital staff would appreciate us having fun here. Besides, the bed isn’t so much comfortable, but maybe on the couch or we could…” Alec slapped my arm lightly and covered my mouth with his palm, stopping me from further imagining. “mmmm.”

“Nap, Bane.” A few minutes later I could hear the soft snoring of Alexander and felt his warm breath on my neck. I kissed the top of his head, being careful to not cause him any pain. Alec snuggled more up to me, brushing his nose on my neck. He whispered in his sleep. “I love you, Mag.”

“I love you too, my Angel.” I kept my voice low, to not disturb Alec’s sleep. “Whatever life has planned for us, I’m not going to leave you, sweetheart. I’ll be here every step of the way.”

  
  



	25. Storm

**Chapter XXIV**

**“Storm”**

I observed Miss Blackwell and the rest of our group as they were running around the stage as if they were chickens with chopped off heads. The open night of our play was in three days, a week before a graduation and everything was in chaos. The set wasn’t as Alec designed it, but it could not be when Sebastian, Jonathan, Jace, Ragnor, and Jordan were to arrange it, to fulfill their punishment. Trees were still not painted, lights weren’t set perfectly to show our perfect sides.

It was a total mess.

Same as me, whenever I was forced to participate in the rehearsal, which lately was taking most of my time, along with exams and classes. I had barely time to see my lovely Alexander. I missed him dearly, especially when I wasn’t allowed to see him when he was too tired to have visitors. In the past two weeks, Alec felt worse than before. He had gotten weaker and thinner. He lost his weight dramatically. His cheeks were hollow, dark shadows popped out under his eyes. Yet, he was still the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. 

“Hey, you ok?” Ragnor’s voice reached my ears. I turned my eyes from my phone, where I’ve been sliding through Alec’s pictures and looked at my best friend. “You’ve been acting off this week. It’s about Alec?”

My sad look told him everything.

“How is he?” Ragnor asked, sitting down next to me on the stage. Fell threw his arm over my shoulder and drew me to his side. “Magnus?”

“Not good,” I battled the tears that tried to push themselves out of my eyes. “He’s in good hands. Laura, his doctor is actually the best in the hospital and she’s trying everything, but I can’t stop being…”

“I know, and I wish I could do something for you, Magnus.” Ragnor placed a kiss on the top of my head. “I hate watching you suffer. But I’m here for you, when you need me, Mags.  Same as Cate and Tessa. We’re here for you and Alec. We’re here.”

“Thank you.” I tried to not take Ragnor’s pitiful look in my heart. I knew that almost everyone who had seen me lately with Alec felt sorry for me.

It hurt me to admit, but I understood the looks. I’ve heard that many people leave their sick partners when it’s getting worse. I couldn’t imagine myself leaving Alexander at all. Hell, if I could help it, I’d stay with him every single second of my life. Sometimes, when David had a night shift, he was letting me stay a night with my boyfriend with a promise to leave before the morning round of check-ups on patients.

Alexander tried to make me leave him, but I could never. He was my heart, even though it sounded ridiculous to say by a nineteen-year-old man.

“Ok, let’s get back to rehearsing, people.” Miss Blackwell clapped her hands to gain our focus. She rushed us to our positions and the staff was ordered to step to the backstage. “Ok, Magnus and Lacey, start from the scene twenty, ok? We will start from the moment, they’re making the main decision, ok? Let’s do it, guys.”

“You cannot fight my brother, Tony,” Lacey grabbed my hand and brought it to her heart. “I’ll die if you’ll die.”

“I’ll die if you’ll die too, Alec…” everyone’s eyes were directed at me, as it slipped out of my tongue. Never in my life, I felt so intimidated by my own words. Did I really think that? Did I really feel that? Did I really…

“Pause!” we heard Ms. Blackwell’s frustrated voice “Magnus please focus on your lines. Let’s start from the top!”

“I love you, Tony.”

“I love you too, Marie.”

“You cannot fight my brother, Tony. He’ll kill you. I’ll die if you’ll die.”

“I’d die if you die too, Marie. But they won’t let us be together.”

“Then we’ll run away.”

“We have to fight… I won’t give up on you Alec…”

“Stop!!” Miss Blackwell shouted again, a small growl escaped her mouth as well. “Focus, Magnus. The premiere is in three days and you keep messing.” If a look could kill, she’d be dead by now. “Please, Magnus. Everyone, take five.”

“Hey, Princess,” Lacey came closer to me, as I moved to the nearest stall to look if Alec had called me. There was no message or a missed call. “Get it together, drama queen. What? Trouble in paradise? You’re not getting laid?”

“Shut up, Lacey, before you say one word too much!” I warned her, with a death glare.

“Or what, huh? What do you do? Nothing.” She smirked at me, giving me a mocking look. “What? There was not enough glitter in the store? Or maybe Alec finally decided to dump your sorry ass?”

I growled loudly and pushed her at the stall with a loud thud. I’ve never been hostile and abusive towards girls or women but Lacey pushed me to the edge then. If it weren’t for Miss Blackwell’s scream and Lacey’s surprised gasp, I’d probably hit her then.

“Shut the fuck up! You have no idea about my problems!”

“Hey!” Miss Blackwell pulled me away from her and stood before us, with a hand on my chest to prevent me from an attack. Rage was radiating from my trembling body. “Stop with this, now. Magnus, you don’t want to hurt her.” She pushed me back more and turned to Lacey. “And you, do not provoke him! You are so lucky, you’re my main stars, otherwise, I’d give you the detention. Instead, you’re going to be punished with a lower mark from your behavior at the end of the year. And your grade from English will be lower as well.”

“He started it!” Lacey accused me, trying to lower her punishment. “If the Diva here wouldn’t act so uptight, we would be better at this. We have the premiere in three days and he keeps messing the text, mentioning Alec. How is he even putting up with you?”

“I swear, Lacey if you won’t shut up, I’ll do something that I may regret later.”

“Enough!” Miss Blackwell said for the last time and pointed the opposite corners of the stage. “Both of you, stop this feud. Take as much as you need and calm yourselves then apologize. We don’t have much time!”

“You’re right,” I said, realizing something very important. “I don’t know how much time I have left… I need to get going.” I went to grab my bag and jumped off the scene, leaving them with mouths gaping. “I need to be with him.”

“Where do you think you’re going, Magnus?” Miss Blackwell called out to me when I was walking towards the exit. “Come back here, Magnus! We have a rehearsal to finish!”

“I don’t care.”

“Magnus!” She tried again, but I cut her off before she could say anything else.

“I don’t care about the stupid play!” I lashed out, glaring them all. “I only agreed to do it, because Alec asked me to. Now, he’s not going to see it. So, what’s the point of being me here? I have better things to do now.”

“What are you doing, asshole? Get back on the stage, we need to practice!” Lacey shouted at me as well, placing hands on her hips.

“How does it look like, huh? I fucking quit!” With that, I turned on my heel and left the room, ignoring all the screams and calls from my teacher and other students. As the door closed behind me with a loud bang, I sighed in a relief.

I had more free time to spend with my Angel and cherish our every moment together. Just what I needed to do now.

The word about my morning tantrum spread around the school immediately, reaching principal Herondale in no time. Just before the bell for a second class, I was called to her office for a talk. We, Lacey and me, were sitting in front of her, murdering ourselves with our looks.

“It is not too late to suspend both of you and punish you, with summer class.” She drawled, playing with her pen. “Especially you, Magnus. I can hold you from graduation. You promised you will behave until the end of the year. almost two weeks  until the graduation, couldn’t you just keep it down?”

“She provoked me,” I said through my teeth. “I’m in not so good place now, Mrs. Herondale. I’m sorry.”

She sighed loudly, putting the pen down.

“Why did you provoke Magnus, Lacey?” She turned to the girl.

“He was messing the lines again on purpose! We have the open night in three days and he’s the drama queen, who brings his life problems to the stage.” She spat, averting her gaze from me. “I’ve done nothing wrong. He attacked me. If it weren’t for Miss Blackwell, I’m sure Magnus would hit me.”

“But I didn’t, so fuck off!”

“Magnus Bane!” Principal Herondale warned me with her serious gaze.

“Ok, let’s finish it. Punish me, with grades or lowering my grade for behavior. Whatever you do, just don’t keep me in the school after classes, Mrs. Herondale.” I begged her with the biggest puppy eyes I could muster now. “I need to get to… you know where. I can’t be here for more than it’s necessary. Please, Mrs. Herondale, you must understand me. Please.”

“Your behavior will be lowered, Magnus and you won’t get the extra credit for the drama class.” She looked at me with sadness in her golden eyes. “I’m a patient woman, but both of you, wore it thin today. We’re at the end of the year and you’re causing so many problems. As if I didn’t have enough of them lately. I’m seriously considering giving you both summer school.”

“Please, don’t!” we both said in unison, though for very different reasons. Lacey probably didn’t want to lose her summer like that.

“Look, I’m sure Magnus and I can resolve this and play it cool till the graduation, right?” She looked at me with a knowing look. “I’m sorry for provoking you. I shouldn’t say those things.”

“I’m sorry for pushing you on the stall, Lacey.” Even Mrs. Herondale knew that the smile following my words was fake. Nevertheless, Lacey smiled back, equally fake, and we shook our hands in agreement. “All’s alright now, yeah? We can totally go back to our lives.”

“And to the play.” Lacey chimed, grinning.

“I still quit,” I stated firmly, grabbing my bag from the floor. “David can replace me, he knows my lines perfectly and I can record my singing…but I cannot participate anymore.”

“But…”

“I’m sorry, I need to go.” Mrs. Herondale nodded and waved me off, calling her assistant to bring Miss Blackwell to her office.

Two hours later I was on my way to the hospital to see Alec. I was freshened up and changed to look nice for our date night. As every other Friday, we were watching a movie on Alec’s laptop in his hospital room with food made by my mom. I loved our Friday nights, even though we spent them in the hospital. In fact, I was yearning the whole week for those nights, quiet and comfy on the bed or couch, if Alexander was feeling better. We would cuddle, kiss softly, simply enjoy ourselves.

When I walked into his room, I spotted Alec sitting crossed leg on his bed with a thoughtful look. His tablet was lying in front of him. It seemed that Alec was either writing or reading something, I couldn’t tell for sure.

“Hello, Angel,” I greeted him, kissing the top of his head. Today, Alec decided to wear a blue beanie, I bought him last week after he shaved his head. Alec wore today his skinny jeans and midnight blue dress shirt. He always decided to dress up for our Friday dates, even though I didn’t mind, if he’d wear his pajama or sweatpants and hoodie. “How are you, sweetheart?” When he didn’t reply, instead, frowning at me, it got me worried. “Is everything alright, Alexander?”

“You tell me, Magnus.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, placing my bag on the couch. I sat down on the bed next to him and pushed the tablet to the side. “Alexander?”

“Why did you quit the play?” His question confused me. Not because it wasn’t true, but because he knew about it. I wondered who told him? Was it Jace? No, he wasn’t there to witness his outburst, as Jace had to participate a soccer practice today. Then who was it? “Magnus?”

“Who told you, Alexander?” I decided to learn it the easy way.

“It doesn’t matter now. Why did you do it?” Alec bore his eyes into mine trying to discover the truth.

“Who?”

“Lacey called me and said to end whatever problems we have because you threw a bitch fit in the theater room today,” Alexander explained, putting a strand of hair behind my ear. “Then, Miss Blackwell called, asking me to convince you to get back to the play. Of course, Miss Blackwell said that she understands your rage fit, but she loves you in this play and would want you to still be a star of it.” Alec took a deep breath and let out the air slowly. “So, what really happened?”

“Oh, that bitch had no right to call you!” Of course, I was talking about Lacey, not our teacher. “When I’m in school, I’ll talk to Lacey…she’ll regret calling you in the first place.”

“Magnus!” Alec screeched, grabbing my wrist and slightly pulling it. I looked at him trying to calm my anger. “What happened?”

“Nothing, I just don’t feel like doing this anymore.” Alec wasn’t buying it at all, as he gave me one of his pointed looks before I lowered my head and voice. “What’s the point of me being in it when you won’t see it?”

“Oh, Mags…” Alec brushed his fingers on my left cheek lightly, smiling sadly. “Look at me, love.”

Alec moved his hand under my chin and lifted it to look me straight in the eye. “Is this the reason you quit the play?” A small nod was the only answer I gave him. “You fear I won’t see it?”

“You won’t.”

“Maybe I’ll convince Lauren to let me out for a few ho…”

“Absolutely not!” I interrupted him firmly, already fearing the consequences. “You’re sick, Alexander. I’m not risking your health for my selfish reasons. You’re staying here until you’ll be well.”

“Then I’ll ask my dad to record it all, and we’ll watch it together here. Maybe even I convince mom to bring us some popcorn?” Alec winked at me, making me laugh. “Hey, I’d love to be there in the first row to see you being spectacular on the stage. I’d give you the biggest applause and then give you dozens of red roses a star like you deserve to get. I’d be, no I am your number one fan, Magnus. I’m sorry that I can’t get to see you live on the stage.”

“It’s not your fault, darling,” I stated, throwing my arms around Alec’s neck. I leaned down to capture his lips with mine own in a sweet, short kiss. “I need to apologize to Miss Blackwell.”

“You do,” he confirmed, pulling me to his chest. Alexander lay us down on the bed and stroked my loose hair. “But that can wait for a while now. Let’s watch a movie and then you’ll call Miss Blackwell and tell her that you will participate in the play, ok?”

“Ok.”

Two hours later, as I bid goodbye to Alexander, I called Miss Blackwell with apologies. She was beyond happy that I decided to get back to the play. She also apologized for calling Alec, but I understood her. All she wanted was to have a great play with me and my voice.

Three days later, I was pacing around the backstage, repeating the lines in my head. My hands were shaking at the thought that I was to play a song about my love to Alec in front of the entire school and the rest of guests. Many people believed that I’ve written the song just for the play, but those who knew me well knew that it was about my Angel. The way he made feel, like no one else before. He opened me to a real love. A feeling that I never knew for real.

“Ready?” Suddenly I heard Miss Blackwell’s voice behind my back. I turned around and gave her a small smile. “Thank you, that you didn’t bail on me, Magnus. And once again, I’m sorry for calling Alec and persuade him, but…I was desperate. I always knew that you’re great, ever since I’ve heard you at your music class back when you were a sophomore. Your voice was amazing and I knew that I need you in my play.”

“It’s ok, Miss Blackwell,” I assured her, putting back the script. “I acted rashly and stupid, but I was stressed. I’m sorry too.”

“How is he?” 

“Not worse, so it’s an accomplishment. But he will get better, he will fight it off.” She hugged me tightly. For a moment, I felt her stiff, before she rubbed my arms and drew away from me with a small smile.

A second later, I felt arms circled around my waist and a body pressed against my back. I admit I jumped in a fear, not knowing what was happening. I pushed the arms off me and turned to my attacker.

However, I did not expect to see him.

“Alexander?!” Alec Lightwood was standing in front of me with a goofy smile. He wore his black jeans, his dark gray hoodie with a hood on and the black leather jacket. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

“This is not the reaction I expected.” He said, giving me a strange look. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“Oh god…did you run away from the hospital? Alexander! Your parents must be looking for you. Maryse will have my head if she knows…”

“My parents and siblings are sitting in the front row with your mom,” Alec interrupted me, walking closer. He grabbed me by my hands and drew to his chest. “I wanted to be here with you on your big day. I told you, I’m your number one fan, Magnus.”

“But, Alec, your health…”

“Don’t you worry your pretty head about it, love.” Alec leaned on his toes to kiss me. “Lauren gave me permission to leave after she gave me a shot. I can stay here three hours, maybe four if I won’t be so much tired. Yeah.”

“Is it really ok for you to be here, sweet pea?”

“Positive.” He replied with the widest smile.

“Ok, we’re out in a minute, guys!” Miss Blackwell shouted to all of us. People started to get ready for their roles. I sighed loudly, closing my eyes.

“I think it’s my cue,” Alec whispered, kissing my lips for the last time. “I’ll be in the front row. Remember, number one fan. Good luck, sweetheart, I know you’ll be great. I love you.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

On the stage, I tried my best to act to make Alexander proud of me. He was watching us mesmerized, following each of our movements. Alec was squeezing my mom’s hand and his mother’s as well, especially, when I sang this song.

_ You’re the rock that I’m willing to chain myself to. _

_ As long as we’re together, nothing can break us through. _

In the final scene, I was holding Lacey’s hands in mine, gazing almost lovingly into her green eyes, picturing Alec standing before me. We leaned down and kissed, receiving a wave of clasps from our viewers.

_ “I love you, Tony.” _

_ “And I you, Marie. And I you. Forever.” _

A loud applause went through the room as we bent after the final scene. Some people were even whistling in a good meaning. When I left the stage, my mother and the Lightwoods were the first one to congratulate me.

“You were amazing, sweetheart!” My mother, pulled me into her arms, kissing my cheek. Then I received the same congratulation from Izzy, Maryse, Robert, and Max. Jace bumped me in an arm and gave a thumb up.

“Not bad, Sparkles.”

“Shush, Jace, he was incredible,” Alec told Jace off and drew me into his arms. “You were wonderful and spectacular, love. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, darling.” We kissed, receiving a role eye from Robert and Jace and awes from our moms and Izzy. “I’m so glad you’re here, Alexander.”

“I’m happy too, Magnus.”

After the play, we went to Atelier for a small dinner, before we got Alec back to the hospital. Surprisingly he didn’t feel tired, moreover, he felt excited, buzzed. He looked almost healthy today. You could easily believe that nothing was wrong with him.

I could easily believe that everything would be ok with my Angel. I could hope for it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a late update, but I had problems with my laptop.   
> Anyway, I may add something to this chapter, later, so check out in a few days. If I'll add this thing after the next chapter, I'll give you a notice on Tuesday.


	26. Face Everything And Rise

**Chapter XXV**

**„Face Everything And Rise”**

A soft buzzing, mixed with a pop song I somehow knew, was ringing somewhere near me. Automatically, without thinking, I reached for the source of the sound and grabbed it. Opening one eye I saw the familiar photo of my Angel popping on my phone screen.

“Good morning, baby,” I said in a groggy voice to the phone. “I wish you’d be here to wake me up with your kiss, but I’ll be good with your sexy voice as well this morning.”

“Magnus, it’s one p.m. Did you oversleep? You were supposed to be here at twelve a.m., during your school break. I got worried.” Alec’s voice was full of concern. “Mags?”

“Oh shit!” I jumped out of the bed, landing on the hard floor with my face. “Ouch, fuck.”

“Magnus! Magnus!” Alec’s frantic voice was coming through the phone. “Are you alright, Mags?”

“Just my nose and pride got hurt, babe.” I sat back on the bed and spotted the time on the clock. It was five past twelve. I overslept for school, how lame, especially that it was the last four days of the school. I rubbed my nose to ease some pain. I looked in the mirror to see if there’s any visible mark of my embarrassment, but there wasn’t anything so far. Maybe, if I’m lucky enough, I won’t have a big, ugly bruise on my nose. “Give me a half an hour, Alexander. I’ll take a shower, grab something to eat and be there. Do you want me to bring you something?”

“Go to school, Magnus and come by later,” Alec instructed me wisely. I sighed with a defeat, knowing that Alec was right. I needed to attend the rest of my classes if I didn’t want to fail the year. “And say hi to Miss Blackwell from me. Could you do something for me?”

“Anything, Angel.”

“I spoke with mom and dad yesterday,” he began to explain, coughing here and there. “If everything will turn out well for me, I will attend the summer school to catch up on everything I missed. And then I’ll get tests at the end of August. So, would you be kind enough to pick up some materials from our teachers, so I could read them?”

“Of course, my darling,” I replied, pulling on my purple cropped top. I put Alec on a speaker and went to grab my light gray tight jeans that hugged me in every important place. Alec loved them on me. “So, do you want something else?”

“Just you, Magnus.” If this wasn’t the sweetest words I heard lately from him, I didn’t know what it was. “But a chocolate cake from your mom wouldn’t hurt.”

“I’m beginning to think you love me just for my mom’s cooking, darling,” I said, doing a quick makeup. Just some purple, shimmering eyeshadow and an eyeliner. I didn’t have more time to do something more creative. Once I was ready, I grabbed my bag, phone, and books and headed downstairs.

“What gave me away?” Alec joked in his usual light tone. “I love her and her cooking. Say hi to her.”

“Alec says hi, mom,” I spoke the moment, I spotted her in the kitchen. “He says, he loves you more than he loves me, too.”

“Hey, Alec. I love you too.” She shouted so Alec could hear her easily. “I have a raspberry pie in the oven. I’ll drop it at the hospital later.” Mom looked at me with a worry expression, biting her lower lip. “Can we talk, before you go to the school?”

I nodded to her and turned back to Alec.

“I have to go, Alexander, but I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He hung up first and I put my phone in the pocket of my jeans.

“Is something wrong, mom? I know I’m late for school, but…” She just waved it off. My mom was clearly nervous about something. I could see it in her brown eyes, as she was looking at me with uncertainty. “Mama?”

“I don’t know how to tell you this, Magnus.” She began, sitting down on the stool, gesturing for me to do the same. “You’ve been very busy with Alec lately and there was no proper time to do it. I don’t want you to think of me wrong or that I’ve been lying to you, baby boy.”

“Mom…you’re scaring me. Is it something with da…with Roger?” Seeing as my stepfather had visited us a few months ago, I feared he visited again, despite the court ban. He was that kind of a man, who liked to torment his victims. “Mama?”

“No, baby. Roger won’t interfere with our lives again. I won’t let him hurt you ever again.” She reached her palm to stroke my cheek. “But I would like you to meet someone important to me. He’s been around me for a while now, and I’d like you to meet him.”

“Are you having a boyfriend, mom?” She nodded shyly with a gleam in her eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Where did you meet him? How long are you two together?”

“I met him in the Atelier, last year. But we started our relationship only a half a year ago.” Now it all made sense. Why mom was so happy lately. All those small smiles, when she was reading something on her phone. The shushed talks filled with small laughs. It was crystal clear now. My mother was in love.  “I invited him and his son over today, for a dinner. I’d like you to meet them. They’re very nice and I think that Michael’s son may know you from your school, though he finished it two years before.”

“Ok,” I smiled in a reply, getting up to hug her. I kissed my mom’s forehead, feeling happy for her. She deserved love. “I look forward to meeting them, but now I have to go. Otherwise, Mrs. Herondale will have my head.”

“Be back home at six. Dinner will be at seven.” She shouted at me, as I ran to my car. “I love you!”

“Love you too, mom!”

Frankly, Principal Herondale wasn’t as mad as I assumed her to be. She gave me a ten minutes talk about how I’m irresponsible to not come for my last exams. However, she believed my mother that I simply overslept from the exhaustion. My tired face and black bags underneath my eyes were very convincing. She was kind enough to let me take the tests with younger classes tomorrow.

An hour later I was parking my car in the hospital’s parking lot. I looked around to try and spot Robert’s or Alec’s car that Jace had been driving lately. However, I couldn’t find it. As I made my way inside, I greeted all nurses and doctors in the hallway.

Finally, I got to my Angel’s room, only to find him, Izzy and Jace engaged in a conversation.

“Am I interrupting?” Jace shook his head, relaxing on the chair by Alec’s bed. Isabelle grinned at me, while my boyfriend’s blue eyes lit up. I walked to the bed and leaned down to kiss him. “Hello, darling.”

“Hello,” He smiled in a kiss before we pulled away. “What did Mrs. Herondale say?”

“She let me take the exams tomorrow morning with Juniors.” Alec nodded to this statement. Trust him to be worried more about my schooling than me. “But I have news that can’t wait. I was too stunned to say this over the phone. You are never going to believe it, honey.”

“What’s going on?” Alec asked, making a room for me on his bed, right next to Isabelle.

“My mom has a boyfriend.” All of the Lightwoods were slightly shocked by the news, just as I predicted. “Like a lover.”

“Oh my god,” Izzy exclaimed, turning her body towards me. She grabbed my hands in hers and leaned closer. “Tell me all about him. Is he hot? How old is he? Blonde? Brunet? Red-head? Is he tall?”

“I don’t know.” She rose her brow in a confusion. “I haven’t seen him yet. All I know is that his name is Michael and he and mom are dating for a half of a year. And apparently, his son was attending our school two years ago.”

“Do you know his last name?” Jace popped his question. “Maybe Alec remembers him since he’s been in this school the longest.”

“I’m such an idiot. I haven’t asked my mom.” Alec patted my hand efficiently, giving me a small smile. “But I guess, I’ll find out more about this mysterious new man of my mom’s on today’s dinner.”

“You said, they’ve been dating a half of a year. Why didn’t your mom tell you before?” Izzy asked with curiosity.

“I don’t know. It’s still shocking to me that my mom is dating someone.” I shuddered at this. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to be in love again. God knows, after the life with Roger, she deserved to be happy. However, she was my mother and the thought of her dating someone was slightly disturbing.

“I don’t understand, why are you so shocked,” Alec spoke, gathering our attention. “Ayanna is a very beautiful woman and many men would die to date her.”

“My, oh, my, Alec. Complimenting your future mother-in-law?” Izzy teased him, winking playfully. As predicted, Alec’s cheeks turned red. “Anyway, I’m off to Simon. We’re going on a date today, wish me luck boys.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Jace warned her with a smirk. We, Alec and I, gave him a pointed look. There was only a small list of things that Jace Lightwood wouldn’t do. “Or don’t do anything, Alec wouldn’t do.”

“I’ll walk you out and grab myself a coffee. Jace, you want some? Black with cream, right?” The said boy nodded to this offer. “Alec, you want something from the cafeteria?”

“A sandwich with a turkey would be great. Thank you, love.”

Twenty minutes later, after seeing Izzy off and grabbing Alec’s sandwich, I went back to the coffee machine for our drinks. As I was standing there, waiting for the droplets to fill the plastic, brown cup, I felt strange. I had a feeling I was observed. However, when I turned around there was no one in the hallway. I shrugged my shoulders and took the cups with Jace’s and mine’s coffees. I was glad that there wasn’t a long walk to Alec’s room, seeing that I held the cups in both my hands and the sandwich was loosely hanging from my mouth, as I held its package between my teeth.

As I walked forward, I still could feel someone’s eyes on me in a creepy way. I slowly looked to the right side but saw no one. When I looked to the left, there wasn’t even a shadow here.  I was almost around the corner when I heard a deep intake of an air and a voice I never expected to hear again in my life.

“You still look so fuckable, Magnus.”

The coffee fell out of my hands, sandwich out of my mouth as I opened it in a shock. Swallowing hard, though my mouth went dry, I turned slowly around. There was a man, in his twenties standing before me, smirking in the well-known way of his.

My heart stopped beating, my blood froze in my veins, as I realized, who it was.

**Oliver Haywire.**

_ My crazy, abusive, ex-boyfriend. _

Suddenly my feet were glued to the white floor, my body turned heavy, forbidding me any movements. Oliver hasn’t changed in these years. His brown hair was still messy, his dark chocolate eyes were eyeing me from head to toe in a lustful way, as he licked his lips repeatedly. Before I knew, Oliver was standing before me, brushing his hands over my arms.

I shivered with fear.

“Did you miss me, my delicious?” He sighed into my ear, circling his arms around my body. As much as I wanted to run, or at least make a sound, I couldn’t. I was immobilized by the memories of my past, slowly filling my mind. “I have missed you so much, Magnus. You’ve grown up so gorgeous. I’m sure you’re all grown down there as well.”

“I…I…hav…have to go…” I’ve managed to stutter, hoping for my heart to not rip out of my chest.

“Oh, you are not going anywhere,” he ordered, scraping his teeth over my neck. I didn’t even know when he had managed to tilt my head to have a better access. “We’re going to have so much fun, love. Like the old, good times.”

My whole body was trembling, as he was running his hands over my chest. I hated myself, feeling sick, that I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt myself being the fifteen-year-old Magnus again, afraid of Oliver, letting him do what he pleased. Tears were streaking down my cheeks when Oliver was whispering sinful things into my ear.

“I bet you’re still so tight, not having anyone to give you a proper fuck.” I prayed for someone to walk by and see us. I prayed for a rescue, hating that I was unable to fight him off. He was stronger than me, both mentally and physically. I could never stand a chance. Oliver was scraping his fingers over my stomach, sniffing my neck. “I’m sure your new boy toy can’t fuck you as good as I did. No one can.”

“Please…let…go of me…please…” my breath was shallow and quick, making it difficult to speak. “Please…”

“Oh, you always liked to beg for me, Magnus. I see you haven’t changed.” He breathed out. “You belong to me, boy and I can promise you, I will fulfill our part-time tonight. You will beg for me, screaming from the pleasure you were denied for years of my absence. Don’t worry, Magnus, I will take care of you, for all, you are mine and mine only.”

“No…” A small whimper escaped my mouth.

“Yes.” He grabbed my chin and turned it to the right, forcing me to look in his eyes. “I’m sure your new boy toy can’t make you scream like I used to.  You are mine, and I will gladly remind you of it.”

“I belong with Alexander.” I tried to speak louder, hoping that someone would hear me, but it was pointless. I was alone with him. When I spoke my lover’s name, his image popped into my head. His sweet smile, his beautiful blue eyes sparkling, every time he smiled. He loved my messed self, with all my flaws and my past. I was so grateful for him, never stop being amazed how he gave himself to me. My sweet, blue-eyed Angel. “I love, Alexander.”

“You’re wrong. You love me and only me, Magnus Bane. I will make sure you remember it, fore…”

“Magnus?” Dear god, my heart couldn’t be happier in that moment, when the familiar voice reached my ears. Oliver drew from me and looked at the person standing behind my back. I couldn’t turn around, as Oliver was holding me, but I could hear Jace walking closer to me.

“So, you’re his whore now, huh?” Oliver addressed me, as Jace came to stand next to us. “You were always a sucker for blondes, like that bitch Camille.”

Jace grabbed me by an arm and pulled back to himself. However, Oliver tried to stop him. I was never more thankful for being friends with Jace Lightwood, like in that very moment. Jace pushed Oliver off me, punching him hard in his square face. He pushed me behind himself and got ready to punch Oliver if he tried to attack us.

“You’re feisty, boy. I do wonder, do you beat him too? Let me tell you,” Oliver said, as he got up from the floor. “Magnus loves a rough sex with lots of slapping. Don’t you, Maggie? He loves being controlled, like a whore he is.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Jace wanted to charge at him, but I couldn’t let that happen. I circled my arms around his chest and pulled him back. “What the…”

“Let’s go…please…you don’t want to do it, Jace…”

“Yes, Magnus is right, you don’t want to attack me, boy. I’m stronger and Magnus will always take my side. He’s mine.” Oliver stated, eyeing me the last time. “I will see you soon, Magnus. Mark my words.”

Oliver smirked before he turned around and disappeared behind a corner. Suddenly I felt a wave of emotions running through my body. I let go of Jace and took a step backward, feeling something heavy pushing me down to the ground. My knees, my hands, my whole body was trembling. The heart was racing, to the point of almost ripping out of my chest. I couldn’t breathe, as I felt my lungs filled with something. I was drowning in my own fears.

The memories of my past were flying through my mind. I could hear the words he used to say to me.

_ You’re mine. Just mine. No one will love you like I do. You belong to me. _

“I know that dude…I think it was Oliver Haywire, right? The guy from our school… I was at his party once, when Alec was a sophomore. How do you know him, Ma… Magnus?!” Jace’s arms were around me in no time. However, as much as I saw them, I couldn’t feel them. It seemed like a barrier was surrounding me, keeping me in my own horror. “Magnus? Can you hear me? It’s me, Jace. Come on, man. Come back to me. Hey, it’s just the two of us. The asshole Lightwood? Come on, man. Breathe in and out, slowly. In and out, Magnus.”

I had no idea, how many times we were repeating the process with Jace, but eventually, I managed to get a grip on myself. Jace was holding one of my hands on his chest, where his heart was beating, while he kept his own on mine chest.

“Your heart is racing. You need to calm down, I think you have a panic attack. Do you want me to get Alec?” At that I shook my head, not wanting Alec to see me like this. He didn’t need this, not now. “Ok, I’m gonna get you a water, ok? Lean over the wall and touch the floor with your palms, it will cool you and slow your heartbeat.”

I did as advised and a few moments later, I could feel my body cooling, my heart going slower. I closed my eyes and tried to picture my Alexander, to wipe away the horrors with Oliver. I recalled our first date, our kiss, our first holding hands. It was so innocent and beautiful, right and wonderful.

“Are you ok?” Jace asked, touching my face with his palm. I never thought that Jace Lightwood could be so gentle towards someone, who he hated not so recently. And yet, here he was, consoling me, wiping tears from my face. “Are you ready to go back to Alec?”

“In…in a minute,” I replied, drinking the water Jace offered me.

I let Jace pull me up from the ground before I closed my eyes again. I took three deep breaths, wiping the remains of tears from my face before I put a fake smile on. Despite my embarrassment, coming from Jace’s seeing me in my lowest moment, I squeezed his hand and walked ahead, straight to Alec’s room.

“Where were you?” Alec asked, as soon as we stepped into the room. “Are you ok, Magnus? You’re pale.”

“I’m fine.” My voice was so quiet, I wasn’t sure it was audible to anyone but me.

“I know you well enough to know when something is off. Tell me.” Alec reached his hand out to grab mine and pull me close to himself. I let myself fall into Alec’s open arms and cling to him for a moment. His arms were safe. “Magnus?”

“We ran into some dude in the hallway,” Jace spoke behind me. “I think it was Oliver Haywire and he…”

“Did he do something to you, babe? I swear, if he touched you, I will kill him.” Alec pulled me away from his chest and raised my chin to look me in the eye. “Did he hurt you?”

“Jace came in time,” I whispered against Alec’s neck. “He saved me.”

“I should probably go,” Jace said to us, giving me a curt nod when I mouthed a thank you. “Call if you need anything, big brother.”

“Can you drive Magnus home?” At that, I looked at him slightly confused. “I’m not letting you drive in this state. You’re still shaking, Mags. Jace will drive you and if you’d like to come to visit me tomorrow, he’ll come to get you. I can’t protect you outside now, but my brother can. And call Ragnor. Tell him that asshole is back. If you won’t do it, I will.”

“Alexander…”

“I’m not taking any risk with that dick. Jace will drive you, ok? Please, let him do it for my own sake and your safety. I love you, Magnus.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

Three hours later, when I was preparing for the dinner, I tried to not think of today’s events. However, Oliver’s face and his words didn’t want to leave my mind. I hated myself for being weak again, that I couldn’t fight him back. As I was watching my reflection in the mirror, I realized that despite my age, I was again the younger Magnus. The one I tried so hard to leave behind when I’ve finally found a true love.

Tears pooled in my eyes, at the memory of how I told Alexander about Oliver. How he comforted me, how he never left me because of my past. It made me realize that this is indeed, a true love, for good and bad. I’m glad I have found Alexander.

“Are you ready, son?” Mom walked into my room, smiling. “No makeup today? Were you crying, sweetheart? What happened?”

“Nothing, I just poked my eye with an eyeliner. I’m fine now.” I replied, taking a better look at her. My mother looked beautiful. Her black hair was made in a loose bun, with single curls falling on her temples. Her makeup was minimal, only a thin black line on her eyelids, a little bit of bronzer on her cheeks, contouring them slightly. Her lips were covered with fuchsia lipstick matching her fuchsia knee-length dress with no sleeves. She had a thin, ecru belt around her waist, matching her ecru small-heels. She looked wonderful. “Mama, you look so beautiful.”

“You think so, honey?”

“I know so. Let me snap a pic for Alec, he’d love to see you.” I took a picture of her and quickly send it to Alec. As expected, a moment later I got a response.

_ She looks so beautiful. Tell Ayanna that if that man won’t cherish her, we’ll have our vendetta against him. I love you both. _

“He is such a sweetheart.” In that very moment, we heard a doorbell ringing. Mom took a deep breath and tugged me shyly towards the door. 

Outside were standing two men. Older was definitely a few years older than my mom, so he could be in his late forties. He had short, blonde hair and green eyes that lit up when he saw my mom. The younger, had brown eyes and brown, short hair. He was familiar to me.

“Hello, Ayanna.” He greeted my mom, kissing the top of her hand. A gentleman. He gave her the bouquet of red roses. “And you must be Magnus. My name is Michael Cartwright and this is my son, Chris.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

Mom walked them inside, right into the dining room. She showed them their seats and soon we began to eat. Today, she made a fettuccine Alfredo and a simple salad with strawberries and beetroots.

“I’m glad to finally meet you, Magnus. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“I’m glad to meet the man my mama smiles for, Mr. Cartwright.”

“You can call me Michael.” He said, taking a bite of the salad.

“How're your studies, Chris? I heard you study at Columbia. Your father can’t stop talking about you.”

“Indeed, Ma’am.” The young man has spoken with a small smile. “I’m doing decently, but dad loves to exaggerate things. Don’t believe in his every word, he’s a sweet talker until he gets what he wants.”

The small talk was going for a while longer until mom brought a chocolate velvet cake. At some point, Chris excused himself and went out for a smoke. I followed him outside, wanting to have a talk, as I finally realized how do we know each other.

Chris was standing on our porch, leaning over the rail that I and Alec used to sit. I walked closer to him and leaned over it as well.

“When I learned your name, I couldn’t pinpoint how do we know each other. But dad said you are going to the school I was attending.” He started, crushing the cigarette. “I asked my stepsister if she knows you and she showed me your picture. Then it clicked. I have a memory for pretty faces, especially those, that are afraid.”

“Look, whatever…”

“You know, Oliver is back in the town. He contacted me today.”

“Please! Don’t tell him anything about me.” I grabbed his hand in mine and squeezed. “Please.”

“I won’t. I know what he had done to you.” At that, my eyes were wide open in a shock. “When your friend beat his ass up, I pinned him to the wall and demanded to know the truth. He was so pissed and he shouted that you deserved it, that you’re his whore. Sorry for the wording. I’m sure he’ll try to approach y…”

“He did. He found me in the hospital today when I was visiting my boyfriend.” I responded, lowering my eyes to the ground. Chris was a stranger; however, he knew so much about me. I just hoped, he didn’t tell his father and my mother about Oliver.

“If you want to press charges on him, I can go with you. I know, we don’t know each other very well, but…I can go with you. I’m not afraid of him anymore. You shouldn’t be too, Magnus.”

“I don’t want to have anything to do with him. I want to forget about him.” Chris nodded to my words and offered me a cigarette. “I don’t smoke. Can’t even smell like that when I go to the hospital. Alexander hates the smell.”

“Alexander?”

“My boyfriend.” He smiled at that.

We were having a small talk for a while more until Chris finished four cigarettes. After that, we went back inside, only to find our parents cuddled on the couch, with wine in their hands. They looked so in love. My heart swelled with this view. I was happy for my mom and Michael. From all the talk, I had with Chris about his dad, he didn’t have the easiest life as well. His wife had left him fifteen years ago, taking Chris with her. Only a few years later, when Chris was fifteen, he managed to get his son back.

For the next few days, I was very careful to not bump into Oliver anywhere. However, as much as Jace and Ragnor were driving me everywhere and I met with Alec and Chris constantly, I couldn’t avoid my past forever. One day, Oliver squared me, on my way from the school, just the day before a graduation. As he was coming at me, for a moment I froze, only to focus on Chris’s words in my mind.

You shouldn’t be afraid of him. He can’t do anything to you. You’re stronger than him.

For once, I wasn’t afraid.

I marched at him, feeling anger running through my body. I pushed Oliver to the nearest wall and pinned him with my arm.

“You have no right to touch me, ever again! You hurt me, multiple times. I could report you, asshole.” I shouted at him. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you. You are a scum, a fucking bully that targets weaker people! You don’t deserve mercy, but I will show it to you. You told me once that no one will love me the way you do. You were right. No one will love me this psychotic way like you do. But guess what? Despite you hurting me, I’ve managed to find a real love. A love you will never get in your pathetic life. A love that doesn’t hurt me the way you did. I found someone, who loves me the way I am, with all the scars you have left on me.” I laughed at his face. “I pity you, Oliver. Truly, pity you. Because I’ve managed to move on, to find a love again. But you, you will always be a pathetic man, who abuses others, because he is scared himself. I feel sorry for you, Oliver Haywire. Truly sorry.”

I gave him the last pitiful look and walked away from him, with my head raised proudly, leaving him speechless by that wall. Finally, I was able to overcome my fears and set myself free from my past demons. With every next step, I felt lighter. All the bad experience was worth now. I was stronger, prouder and more certain of myself. In that very moment, when I got into my car to drive to the hospital, I felt like I could fly. All that power from defending myself made me happy like I’ve never been before. Nothing could ruin me anymore. I was my own person. Nothing could stop me.

**I was free.**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?   
> I know that this chapter was heavy, but I hope you liked it.   
> For those who's interested, Oliver won't be back in this story. But he was a main character of the sequel to this. However, this version won't have a new, rewritten sequel.   
> Anyway, there are only three parts left in this story and hopefully, you'll stick with me till the very end.   
> Thanks for your comments, kudos and reading.


	27. Reverse this curse

**Chapter XXVI**

**„Reverse this curse”**

From everything that I could expect from the graduation, this wasn’t what I had imagined. The sun was shining, warm air was stroking my face as I was sitting in front of the stage behind a school. It was set up especially for the graduation. Blue and yellow balloons were decorating the wooden arc, a reminder of the last night’s Prom that I hadn’t attended. Instead, I was with Alec, celebrating my freedom from Oliver.

As I was sitting in the front, repeating the words in my head, I was thinking of how much had happened this year. I was finally graduating high school, with very decent marks thanks to my boyfriend. I have found the love of my life. I had a new family, new friends. My life was better. Everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for Alexander.

My Angel has gotten worse again. Although he was trying to stay strong, we could clearly see that he was tired of all of this. It was a miracle, he still was among us, though with every next day, I could tell he was trying hard to not give up, for us, his family. It pained me that I couldn’t help him, that I couldn’t do anything besides begging him to fight for himself. I needed him to fight this curse.

I looked around as people from all senior classes were being called up to the front by Principle Herondale to be given their diplomas. Finally, when all of us had their diplomas, Mrs. Herondale beckoned me.  Swallowing hard, I got up and walked towards the stage to say a few words to my fellow classmates.

“And now, since our Valedictorian can’t make the speech himself, I pointed out a student, who made amazing progress this year. Magnus Bane.” 

“Thank you, Principal Herondale.” I smiled at her before I turned my attention to the crowd before me. They looked so happy that they’re finishing school. I wanted to be happy as well, but I couldn’t. Not when my Angel wasn’t here with me. However, I put on a fake smile and began my speech I had written last night with Alexander. “Dear, fellow students. Today is the last day of our…” suddenly, the words didn’t fit, as much as I wanted them to. I looked at my colleagues. Jordan, Jonathan, and Sebastian were rolling their eyes at me. Cat and Ragnor were cheering for me. Somewhere in the crowd, I spotted Maryse, Robert, Jace, Izzy, Max, my mom, and Michael. They were waving at me, being ready to record my speech for Alec to see it later. “You know what? I had this whole speech prepared, but… let me tell you. High school is a hell of a ride, and it takes a lot of willpower to get to the end of it. Believe me, I almost failed it. But now, I’m standing here, before you, as we’re all graduates. And I couldn’t be prouder. Just look at us now. When we started our journey here, we were just bunch of kids not really knowing what we want to do in our lives. I didn’t. Back in the days, all I wanted is to party, but now… we’ve all matured and found who we really are. This is what the high school taught us. To find our real selves. This school made us stronger, more certain of ourselves. It made us realize, what we want to be in our lives. A doctor, a lawyer, a football player.” I looked at Sebastian and Jonathan as I said it. “We can make it work because we’re strong. We can handle it and walk with our heads up on the new paths of our future.”

I smiled at my classmates, looking at all of them.

“Congratulation class of 2012. We’ve made it.”

As they threw their berets into the air, the smile dropped from my face. Yes, we made it. Although, not everyone.

“Congratulations, sweetheart,” Mom exclaimed, as I stepped down the stage and joined her and Lightwoods. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, mama.” I let her draw me into her arms in a tight hug. “I love you.”

“My baby is all grown up,” she started to tear up. “Soon, you’ll move out, get married to Alec and give me grandchildren.”

I would laugh at her words if only the sad realization wouldn’t hit me. As much as I love, Alexander, I couldn’t be sure, if we’ll have that much time to even consider getting married or start a family together. However, I wanted to be with him, till death do us apart. Deep down in my heart, I hoped it won’t be too soon.

“That was a great speech, Magnus.” Michael addressed me, patting me slightly on a shoulder. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Magnus!” Max’s high voice reached my ears before I found my arms being full of a nine-year-old boy. He threw his arms around my neck and squeezed it tight. “We’re going to a celebiration dinner, all together.”

“Celebration dinner, kiddo.” Jace corrected him, bumping me lightly on the shoulder. “Cool speech, though I’d add something about girls, you know.”

“Don’t let Clary hear that, or you won’t get any.” Jace stuck his tongue out at me. “How’s Alexander today? He didn’t call me.”

“He got some tests today and he’s sleeping now as the chemo is dripping. Mom and I visited him this morning.” I nodded to this, placing Max on the ground and taking his hand in mine.

“I’m going to him after the dinner.” Robert popped in after he handed Izzy the camera. “Are you coming with me, Magnus?”

“Yes,” Robert told everyone to get to their cars and follow him to the restaurant. However, I asked mom to give me five more minutes to say goodbye to my friends. Catarina was flying tomorrow to Pennsylvania and Ragnor to London for two weeks with Raphael, his new boyfriend. As it turned out, he and Cat were more like a sibling than lovers and decided to end things between them after two weeks. I found my friends waiting for me by the entrance of the school. They looked wonderful today. Cat wore a light blue, long dress with short sleeves. While Ragnor wore a black suit and green tie matching his eyes. “I’m going to miss you guys.”

“We’ll miss you too, buddy.” Ragnor pulled me into his arms and placed a kiss on my temple. “Although I’ll see you when I’ll get back before I’ll go to Harvard. Don’t do anything crazy.”

“You know me, Ragnor. Crazy is my middle name.” They both laughed at my jokes. “Catie, don’t be a stranger. When I’ll be able to, I’ll come and visit you at Perelman’s. You’re going to introduce me to all hot doctors, so I could choose a perfect husband for you.”

“And you, don’t forget to invite us to your wedding.” She said with a smile. “I’m going to be your best girl.”

“I’m going to be his best man!” Ragnor fought her with a serious look before he turned to me. “I’m your best friend, Magnus. You must pick me. I already have the best man speech prepared. I’m so going to embarrass you in front of Alec.”

“How is he?” Cate asked, taking my hand in hers, squeezing in a comfort. She knew that as much as jokes about marriage were fun, they caused a pang of hurt in me. She was constantly asking me if I wanted to get married to Alec before he could pass away. Even if I’d want to, Alec wouldn’t say yes to this, in his words, he didn’t want to make me a widower at such young age.

_ We’ll get married, when I get better. I want to be your husband, even though we’re so young. But not until I’m better. _

“He’s gotten worse, paler and weaker, but we’re not giving up. He still takes chemo, but doctor Anderson looks for other ways as well.” I explained, with a half-smile. “We’ve been even testing ourselves for a matching bone marrow, but none of us is a match. Not even Isabelle.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ragnor spoke, throwing his arm around my shoulder. “But don’t give up. Alec is a fighter and he has a bunch of people to fight for. He’ll get through this. And remember, we’re here for you, Mags. Whenever you need us.”

A few hours later, I was sitting with Alec in his room. My boyfriend was currently struggling with eating his dinner, a vegetable soup since he couldn’t stomach anything else.

“One more spoon?” I asked, keeping it near his mouth. “For me? Come on, open your mouth, Angel.”

“I’m not a child.” Reluctantly he opened his mouth and let himself being fed. I put the bowl on the table and puffed Alec’s pillow behind his back. “Your speech was great, by the way.”

“How did you hear it? Izzy had the camera and took it home.”

“Jace skyped with me and let me see you.” Not it all made sense, why Jace was recording me with his phone. “Wanna watch something? I have some new movies Jace brought here. We can…”

Before Alec had a chance to finish his sentence, the door to his room burst open and Ellie, Izzy, Jace, and Max walked in. Alec urged me to help him sit better on the bed, while he put a fake smile on. I knew he hated being seen weak before his family, even before me.

“We have pretzels and Monopoly,” Ellie exclaimed, sitting down on the chair by Alec’s bed, while Jace asked me to push the couch closer to the bed. Max jumped on the bed to be closer to his brother and snuggled up towards him.

Soon, we began to play. Frankly, me not playing such games in years were taking a toll. I was losing to a nine-year-old boy. Alec was leaning over my chest, as he decided to pass on the game. Instead, Alec was helping me. However, despite his great intentions, we were still losing against the rest.

“You suck at this, Magnus.” Max laughed, buying another set of towns. “You all suck at this, but Magnus you’re the worst.”

“Hey! I haven’t been playing in this for years, mister.” I bumped him slightly on his nose, yearning myself a slap on my hand. “I’m good at other games.”

“Yes, probably involving other kinds of sucking.” Ellie popped in, smirking at both of us. Alec’s pale face had a color in one moment, though not the healthy shade I wanted. Izzy and Jace started to laugh, while I just shook my head at them.

“Ok, you have the faces again.” Max started, looking at all of us. “You’re talking about the nasty adult stuff, right? Let’s watch something.”

I liked spending time like this, cherishing the moments when Alec was smiling genuinely among his family. He looked almost healthy then. Almost, the main word. I enjoyed those moments, being constantly reminded of my mind that they may not last forever, despite my biggest wishes.

It turned out that the forever could come quicker than I expected.

The next few days, I was home or helping in the Atelier, as Alec was having tests and needed to rest as much as he could. I decided to respect his wish and waited for his texts with updates. His and Jace’s. Frankly, Jace and I become closer over the last few weeks, since my encounter with Oliver. We both had seen our different sides. I saw Jace as a protector and he saw me in my weak moment, however, as much as I could expect him to brag about it, he kept it to himself. He didn’t even tell much to Alexander, letting me tell him instead.

No, we weren’t besties now, but there was a form of friendship between us. But still, I wouldn’t ever dream to see this side of Jace Lightwood, as he came to my home this evening. Jace burst into my house, tears streaking down his face, his golden eyes red from crying. His hands were trembling, as he tried to grab me.

“Jace, what happened? Are you ok?”

“Help.” I tried to understand what was happening with him. Questions were floating through my mind. Was Jace hurt? There were no visible injuries on his face or arms. No blood was staining his clothes. “Please.”

“Jace, what’s going on?”

“Alec…Alec…he…he wants to stop taking the chemo…”

My heart stopped at once, turning into an empty hollow. Only two things were on my mind now, as the time froze.  **Alec doesn't want to take chemo anymore. Alec wants to die.**

I felt something wet on my face before I realized I started crying. The word  **death** played in my mind, along with the image of Alec in a wooden coffin.

Before I knew it, I was running outside and quickly got into Alec’s car that Jace drove here. We didn’t care for breaking the rules, driving over the red light. We needed to get to the hospital as soon as it was possible. Jace parked near the entrance and we ran inside.

I stopped feeling empty. Instead, the hollow filled itself with pure rage. For the first time in my life, I was angry, really angry at Alexander. Even more than when we fought after he told me about his illness. His whole family and Ellie were sitting before Alec’s room, with tears streaming down their faces. Robert was holding Maryse close, while Izzy was in Ellie’s arms. The younger girl was stroking her long, black locks. Without sparing them another glance I marched inside Alec’s room.

Lightwood was currently standing near his bed, all dressed up in his jeans and leather jacket. His sport’s bag was opened on the bed and his clothes and personal belongings were already placed inside of it. Alec was placing the last book and his laptop inside when I decided to open my mouth.

“What the fuck do you mean, you stop taking the chemo?!” I yelled, shutting the door loudly. Alec jumped slightly at the sound of my angry voice before he turned around to me. “I asked you something, Alec!”

“What are you doing here?”

“Jace came to me, all in tears, telling me your new stupid idea. What the hell?!” I walked to stand before him and ripped the bag out of his hands. “You’re staying here.”

“I signed out on my own. I’m adult now. I’m getting out.” He was saying with a blank expression on his too pale face. “There’s no need for me to take the chemo anymore.”

“Of course, there is! You can live!” Alec was shaking his head to my words. “Unpack and don’t piss me off, Alec.”

“This is my decision.” He fought back, ripping the bag out of my hands this time. “I won’t take chemo anymore and I’m going back home. This is my life, Magnus. My decision.”

“No!” I argued more, grabbing his wrist a bit too roughly, which made him hiss. However, I didn’t let go. “This isn’t just your life and your decision, Alec. I’m a part of your life too. You don’t get to decide on your own. Did you even think about me? About your family? Did you think how this will affect us? Alec, without the chemo you will die!”

“I’m dying anyway!” before I got a chance to argue some more with him, Alec continued. “The chemo stopped working on me. So, there’s no point of me taking it anymore. I’d rather come back home and spend as much time as I can with you and our family. I want to spend my last days, months at home, sleeping in one bed with you, hell, I even want to have sex for the last time before I’ll die. I just want to be with all of you, so you can have your last memories of me not in a hospital, but in the home, happy, together.”

“How do you know it stopped working?” This time, I lowered my voice. I moved my hand from Alec’s wrist to take his hand in mine. “Sweetheart?”

“I talked to doctor Anderson and she told me the results. Apparently, my system got resistant to the chemotherapy and Lauren thinks that even if she’ll change it now, it won’t work. She can concoct me a stronger dose, but I’ll be pinned to the bed and it still may not work for a long time.” Alec explained with a sad voice. “Only the bone marrow transplant could work on me now, but it’s a lost cause. There’s no adult person that I could take the marrow from. Besides, the best option for me would be any of my siblings and Izzy’s off the limits, we tested it.”

For a moment, we were both silents. I let Alec’s words sink into my mind, as the realization hit me.

“You said Izzy is off the limits, but Max no,” I whispered, as Alec lowered his eyes to the floor. This is when I understood everything. “Max could match, right? He does match.”

“I won’t force my baby brother to go through such pain, because of me,” Alec stated firmly, his breath hitched. “I’d rather die.”

His words cut me open like a knife. However, when I tried to reply to this, I couldn’t. No words wanted to leave my mouth. I couldn’t force Alec to go through the transplant, not when it could hurt Max. I understood my Angel. Despite my heart's dying at that very moment, with tears streaming down my face, I nodded to this.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus.” He whispered, drawing me into his arms. “I love you so much. I’m so sorry. Maybe it will be a good idea to break up now, I don’t want you to…”

“No.” I cut him off, pushing away from Alec. “Don’t you dare say this. I love you and I’m not leaving you. Not now. And you will stay here and take the new, stronger chemo.” He wanted to argue with me, but I didn’t give him a chance. “Alec, please, give me some time. Maybe we’ll find another donor, there’s still a chance and I’m willing to take it. Please, let me fight for you, till the very end.”

“I’ll be weak, pinned to the bed, probably at some point, I may not get up.”

“I don’t care,” I stated firmly. “I’d rather have you in the bed than in the coffin. Please, Alexander, let’s fight, don’t give up. Please.”

“Ok,” Alec said, defeated after a while, placing the bag back on his bed. “I’ll give the new chemo a try, but if it won’t work and we won’t find a donor, I will get home. I want to die in my own home.”

“That’s all I’m asking, Angel.”

I waited for Alec to change back to his hospital clothes and get back in the bed before I left the room to say the news to his family. They were all sitting in anticipation, looking hopefully at me. I leaned my body against the wall and placed my palms on my knees, trying to take a proper breath. However, I couldn’t. My heart was racing, my throat was tightening, as I was trying to catch a breath.

“He’ll…he’ll stay…” I managed to whisper before my head was light and darkness surrounded me.

There was a loud beeping, ringing somewhere around me. A very irritating beeping. Absently, I tried to reach to turn it off, thinking it must be my clock alarm. Yet, when I tried to move my hand, I felt some warmth surrounding it, followed by a squeeze.

“Don’t move!” The male voice was familiar to me, but before I opened my eyes I couldn’t pinpoint the owner. With a hardship, I finally opened my eyes to spot a familiar mop of a blonde hair. “You passed out. The doctor said you were stressed and dehydrated and your body shut down. Mom called your mom.”

“How long I was out?” I groaned, pulling out the needle from an IV. “Jace?”

“Three hours.” He confirmed, gaining a shocked look from me. “You need to rest. Alec started the new chemo an hour ago and he’s out, sleeping. We didn’t want to worry him.”

“Good.”

“Thank you, Magnus.” Jace helped me up and drew me into his arms. “Without you, my brother would…Thank you.”

“Hey, I’m not letting him go that easily,” I assured Jace, patting his back lightly. “I will fight for him, till the very end.”

Alexander was taking the new chemo. Today was his third dose. I wanted to believe that it will work, especially that the level of lymphocytosis in Alec’s blood lowered by 1,8%. It wasn’t that great, but it was a good start. It gave our whole family a hope for a happy ending.

Alec was mostly pinned to the bed, he was getting tired too easily, but he still was happy, when we visited him. Seeing as he was feeling slightly better today, we decided to have a real date, as much as one could have in the hospital.

Soft music was playing from Alec’s laptop, while we were lying on his bed, curled up to each other. Alec was running his hand through my short mohawk hair. He decided he loved the new look. With his other hand, he was playing with my necklaces, including the one he had given me on our half-year anniversary.

“Can you believe it? We’re together for a year now.” He whispered, kissing my jaw. “I still can’t believe it you chose me all of all those people out there.”

“How could I not? You stole my heart and I’m not taking any returns.” Alec laughed at my words. “When I first laid my eyes on you, back when I came to the school, you were intriguing but very closeted. I admit I was afraid of approaching you because I was afraid of myself. Back in the days, all I wanted, at least I thought I wanted, was partying and a loud, fast life. But when I met you properly, we started this tutoring thing, you showed me that there can be more to a life. I realized that I can find a real love, despite being hurt so many times in my life. You saw the real me and you accepted me with my flaws. Therefore, I love you.”

“I have something for you.” He said, smiling shyly at me. “Open the drawer and pull out the book on the top, the one with your picture inside.”

I did as ask and handed Alec the book. He opened it, where my picture from the school play was sticking out and handed it to me.

“I want you to read this to me, ok?” I nodded and began to read.

_ If I be the first of us to die, _

_ Let grief not blacken long your sky. _

_ Be bold yet modest in your grieving. _

_ There is a change but not a leaving. _

Tears pooled in my eyes, as the words sunk in my mind. Alec moved on the bed and placed his head over my heart, pressing a soft kiss to it. I blinked a few times to stop the tears from falling, but I failed, as I read silently the rest of the words. Before I had a chance to speak them out loud, Alec began to whisper them.

_ So when you walk the woods where once we walked together _

_ And scan in vain the dappled bank beside you for my shadow, _

_ Or pause where we always did upon the hill to gaze across the land, _

_ And spotting something, reach by habit for my hand, _

_ And finding none, feel sorrow start to steal upon you, _

_ Be still. _

_ Close your eyes. _

_ Breathe. _

_ Listen for my footfall in your heart. _

_ I am not gone but merely walk within you. (*) _

Alexander raised his head from my chest and looked me in the eye. He brought his face closer to mine and kissed away the falling tears.

“Why did you want me to know this?” My voice was shaking, from crying.

“I want you to know, that even if I die, I will always be with you. In your heart.”

“You won’t die. We still have the time. I believe you’ll fight this off. We’ll fight it off, Alexander. Together.” I tried to convince him of my beliefs. Alec just smiled softly. “I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you too, Mags. This is why I want you to remember the happy me. I don’t want you or our family to grieve. I want you to live your lives, move on. I want you to remember how happy we all were. I want you to remember how much I love all of you.” Alec was saying, kissing my cheeks. “I will always be with all of you, in your hearts. Even though you won’t be able to see or feel me, I will always be here, around you. I won’t leave your hearts. I will always be with you. Forever.”

After the fifth chemo, Alec has gotten worse again to the point he was weaker he lost weight again. You could clearly count his bones now, as he was lying in his bed. His skin was unnatural pale now to the point of gray. His beautiful blue eyes were dulled now. It was hard to watch him like that, but whenever he was awake, we all were putting smiles on our face to not let him see how much it hurt us.

There was nothing we could do.

We tried everything, even thought of radiation, however, there was no point. Alec was dying, right before our eyes. We were helpless to the fate. We were constantly looking for a perfect donor for Alec, but there was no one, except for Max. At this point, when Alec has taken so many chemos, Max was his best and only chance.

If only it wouldn’t be so hard to decide.

“Max has a major histocompatibility complex matching Alec’s in three antigens and six alleles. Which means that he’s a perfect donor for Alec.” Doctor Anderson explained us again, as we were all sitting in her office. “I know it’s a hard decision, a one Alec has to make and you too,” she turned to Maryse and Robert. “Max is underage, so the decision falls on you and Alec. I know that Alec refuses this and we can’t force him to this transplantation. At this point, I can only keep him alive with chemo and meds. Or try some transplant from a matching person outside your family, but it won’t be as sufficient as Max’s. The decision is yours.”

“Am I the only one, who can help Alec?” Suddenly Max spoke from my lap.

“You’re his best match. Isabelle matches Alec only in four alleles, which is good but not best in his current state.”

“Will it hurt, Alec? The transpitaltion?” He asked more, looking very serious as much as the nine-year-old could.

“Transplantation.” She corrected him, before continuing. “You won’t be feeling any pain. You’ll both be anesthetized. We will take the bone marrow from you and inject it to Alec.”

“That doesn’t sound bad. And it will help Alec, right? He’ll be healthy? He will come home with us?”

“If your bone marrow will adapt, then yes, Alec will be healthy.”

“Then I want to do it,” Max stated, while we all gasped. I didn’t dare to open my mouth to say anything. This wasn’t my decision to make, or even hint what he could do. I looked to the side, to see Maryse and Robert’s faces, to read something from them. However, their expressions were blank, with pain and joy mixing in their eyes.

I knew that it must be a hard decision for them. To save a life of one child, while using the other. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.

“Max…” Maryse started in a shaky voice.

“I want to do it. I want to save Alec.” He looked at her with a serious look. “I want to do it. Say yes, mommy.”

“Maybe we should talk to Alec first,” the doctor advised with a sad smile. She must know it’s not an easy decision for anyone. After all, she knew how much Alec loves his baby brother.

Max jumped out of my lap and dragged me up and out of the room. Before I knew, he was tugging me in the direction of Alec’s room. Max opened the door of the room and we walked inside.

Alec was lying in his bed, eyes closed, mouth slightly opened. The covers were pulled up to his shoulders, the chemo was slowly dropping in the plastic bag. Max rushed to the bed and shook Alec awake.

“What’s…” he said groggily, opening his blue eyes slowly. “Max?”

“I want to be your hero, Alec.” My boyfriend was clearly confused by this statement. He looked up at me for a clarification, but I couldn’t even form a word. “I will give you my bone marrow, so you could come home.”

“Absolutely not,” Alec argued, moving on the bed and beckoning me to help Max up. I settled Max on the bed next to him and moved to give them some privacy. I sat in the corner of the room and pulled Alec’s earphones to listen to his music, turning my back to them

* * *

 

“I talked with mommy and doctor Anderson. She explained me everything.” Max’s voice was so stern, as he was talking to me. “I’m your best match because we’re brothers. I have six alleyes matching yours.”

“Alleles,” I corrected him. “Max, you can’t. This isn’t that easy.”

“I want to. Everyone is so sad. Mommy and daddy, they’re crying all the time, when they think we don’t watch them. Izzy, Jace, Magnus, and Ellie too. I don’t want them to cry anymore.”

My heart was breaking at the sound of my brother’s voice. I knew exactly how they felt. Even though they tried to hide their sadness from me, I could always see it in their eyes. I hated myself for doing this to them. This is why I didn’t want to agree to this transplantation. They would move on eventually, find happiness again. I was sure of it.

“Maxie…” I tried to stop tears from falling, to not show my brother how much all of it hurt me.

“I love you so much, Alec. I want you to be healthy and with us. I don’t want you to die.” His voice was so certain and sad the look in his brown eyes was serious as well. Max snuggled up to me, putting his head on my chest. I ran my hand through his short hair, kissing the top of it. “I want to be your superhero.”

“I love you too, Maxie, so much.”

We stayed in the embrace for quite some more, before I urged Max and Magnus to go for the rest of our family. After a long convincing from my baby brother, we decided to get the transplantation. The joy on their faces was incredible.

All we could do now was praying for a miracle. I couldn’t let my brother down now. I needed to be alive for him, to show him how much I love them.

* * *

 

Now that Alec’s immune system was destroyed with chemotherapy, he was put in an isolated room, with a strict order to not have any visits unless we were allowed and prepared by doctors. Fortunately, his room had a glass window, so we could see him and talk through the phone. He was supposed to have the transplantation today. We were all in the hospital, waiting for him.

“I love you, Angel.” I mouthed, seeing as Alec was too weak to hold a phone. Alec touched his heart, giving me a silent response.

An hour later, when Alec and Max were anesthetized and ready for the operation. Doctor Anderson was explaining us the last things before the procedure.

“There’s always a risk, like with every other procedure. Alec may not survive the operation. It’s a standard warning.” She spoke, looking at our hopeless faces. “There’s a ten percent of a chance that Alec’s system may not adapt Max’s marrow, despite him being his best match. After the transplant, Max will stay here and rest for two, three days. Alec, on the other hand, will be moved again to an isolated room, when he’ll be rebuilding his immune system in three-four weeks. After that, we’ll be able to tell if the bone marrow adapted well.”

Now, all we could do was pray for Alec to not be in this ten percent group.

They both survived the transplant, and two days later, we took Max home. Seeing as Alec was isolated, we decided that it’s no point of sitting there all day, as Alec was mostly sleeping. Instead, we stayed home, praying and spending time together. Robert threw himself into a work, to keep his head clear for a while. Same as Maryse. I, on the other hand, decided to take care of Izzy, Jace, and Max during those days. We kept each other sane and entertained to not go crazy with thoughts of Alec.

However, it was harder than one could assume.

I was sitting at my home, looking through our pictures from dates, especially the one from a photo booth, when Alec decided to wear my bracelets. We looked so happy there, untouched by the problems yet. Seeing as I hadn’t had known then yet. We were so in love then, so light.

Suddenly I received a text from doctor Anderson, asking me to come to the hospital. Fortunately for me, my mom and Michael were home today, seeing as the man moved in about two weeks ago. They drove me to the hospital as soon as it was possible.

I didn’t remember running inside, but suddenly I found myself in the hallway leading to Alec’s current isolated room.

All of Lightwoods and Ellie were currently standing by the wall. Robert was holding Maryse in his arms, as she was trembling. Tears streaking down her face, smearing her make up. Black smudges were matching Izzy’s, as the younger girl was being held by Jace. Jace was shaking as well. I could hear him sobbing into the crook of Izzy’s neck. Ellie was holding herself, leaning against the ugly yellow wall.

I dared to look at the glass walls of Alec’s room. It was empty now. Sheets on the bed were changed, machines were taken. Alec wasn’t in there. Where was he?

Fear built inside of me, as I looked back at Lightwood’s faces. I couldn’t see their eyes, but the tears, sobs and quiet laments of Maryse and Izzy told me everything I needed to know.

My heart stopped beating for a second, the air became thick and heavy around me, making it hard to breathe. Something broke inside of me. My whole body become lighter, as I was staring at the empty room behind a glass wall. The coldness of the moment surrounded me, freezing me for a second. The image of my smiling Angel hollowed itself forcefully into my mind. I tried to say something, but all I could do was soundlessly cry out the name of my beloved.

_ Alexander. _

Nothing mattered anymore then, but the slow feeling of an unbearable pain, creeping up into my heart and soul, ripping them to shreds in no time. Everything was blurred, as tears pooled in my eyes only to ran down my cheeks freely next second. I couldn’t stop them, as the realization hit me harder than anything before.

_ It was over… _

* * *

(*) The fragment of the poem comes from "The Smoke Jumper" by Nicholas Evans. All rights belong to the author. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ust don't kill me for the cliffhanger ;)  
> Only two more parts have left. Any guesses what will be in them? 
> 
> So, remember the chapter XV and Magnus's song about Alec? Yeah, it took me a while and probably you'll be mad, but all we can post is the music. It turned out that from ten versions of music and twenty versions of vocals, nothing mixed perfectly like in my mind. So, we decided to let go of the vocals but we kept the music. So, here's the link for the melody, and tell me what you think.  
> https://drive.google.com/open?id=1psbDzvVDMsAzdwK0QbLYAMAgQKg6l_0N


	28. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**„I’m in love with a fairytale, even though it hurts”**

**_O_ ** _ nce upon a time, in a far, far land full of high towers, surrounded by the wild waters, lived a boy. He was the fairest of them all. Tall, lean, with his incredible gold-green cat-like eyes. He caught the attention of everyone in his kingdom, causing many heart breaks for young maidens. He knew he was desired by everyone, yet, he held his heart in a tight grip, waiting to give it away to his destined one, to his other half, his knight in shining armor who would show up to save him from his own fears. _

**_O_ ** _ ne day, the boy met another boy his age, tall as well, and equally handsome, with the most beautiful blue eyes. The young man could drown in the ocean of his destined eyes. The said boy defended him in front of villains, even though one of the villains was the friend of the knight. From that day, the boy had taken an interest in the other boy. His own knight in shining, yet black, armor. _

**_F_ ** _ inally, Destiny seemed to have mercy on the boy and let him explore the relationship with the knight. Although, at some point, the boy thought the other a wizard as well as he seemed to enchant him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the knight, he wanted him for himself. He wanted to be close to him. _

**_A_ ** _ nd one day, his dream came true. The boy learned what enchantment the knight had put over him. _

**_It was true love._ **

**_T_ ** _ he most beautiful thing the boy hoped to have one day. _

**_I_ ** _ t was finally here. _

**_B_ ** _ ut Fate didn’t let him enjoy it for a long time. The fate decided to bestow the knight with its horrible and dreadful name. Leukemia. However, the boy had given the knight his heart forever and couldn’t imagine leaving him alone to the fate. They had decided to fight together, through many bumps in their road. The boy loved his knight with his whole heart and soul till the very end… _

* * *

 

Being young is to be naïve, they say. They say, while you’re young, you cannot possibly know anything about a life. They say you’re inexperienced and need to learn as much as you can, preferably from those, who know the life better than you. They say that when you’re in love while young, it isn’t a true love. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to find it later when you’re older.

However, Magnus would disagree with this in every word. He was very young when he had found his only true love. He had founded it with Alexander Lightwood.

* * *

 

The sun was shining on his bare face, as he stood on the balcony, leaning over the railing. He didn’t bother to wear a shirt, wanting to catch as much of the morning sun as he could. It was warm anyway, seeing as it was the middle of the spring here. He was having his eyes closed, enjoying the soft breeze brushing his naked arms, as he thought about his life.

So much had happened in the past, almost two years. He was twenty-one now, a student of the Julliard, currently on a spring break in Paris, watching the people below him. Magnus hummed, remembering everything that happened.

He found love, a beautiful love the fairytale kind of. He fell in love fast and eternally with his blue-eyed Angel, Alec Lightwood. He was so happy with him, thinking that God had to send Alec in his way to give him a bit of hope and happiness in his miserable life full of pain and heartbreaks. Alec was his angel, his guide, who was ought to teach him how to live again. However, the God forgot to tell him, his angel was cursed by the Fate.

The day Magnus had found out about Alec being deadly sick, it was the first time, his heart broke into million pieces, while only being freshly glued by Alexander himself. But Magnus didn’t blame anyone, he couldn’t. Alec was the love of his life and he took as much as he could from it.

If Magnus was to describe his and Alec’s love, he would say it was a real rollercoaster. Starting with small flirts, through the misunderstandings and assumed-girlfriends, to true love and heartbreaks. They started to trust each other slowly, very cautiously, seeing as Magnus was hurt by lovers before. However, when they finally gave their hearts away to each other, Alec’s illness kicked back in.

Magnus was more than devastated by this, however, he never had left his side. He stood by him in the worst moments of the illness, even though it was hard to watch Alexander, all weak and pale, as the life was fleeting out of him.

Magnus stayed with him because he loved him truly. It wasn’t a simple love, it was something else. A bond formed between them in the very first moment, when they had seen each other for real back in the tutoring room, was magical. Their love was one of the fairy tale kind, one could say. A love that never dies. An eternal love, that will always exist, no matter what the fate decided upon them.

Magnus heard a soft knocking on the hotel’s room door and went to answer it. There was a young woman with a tray standing before him. She was beautiful, Magnus could tell. Soft green eyes, red hair, and freckles around her small nose. She reminded him a lot of Clary. He missed the redhead girl.

“Café, jus d'orange, croissants, confiture de fraise et lait. bon appétit,” Magnus took the tray from her hands and gave her a tip with a small smile. She closed the door behind him and left him in his room.

Magnus walked back to the balcony and placed the tray on the small glass table. The smell of the freshly brewed coffee hit his nostrils, causing a soft sigh out of his mouth. He took a sip of his coffee and decided to enjoy the morning view of Paris.

He was watching the Eiffel tower, admiring its glory in the morning light. The view was breathtaking. Same as the beautiful blue surface of the river near his hotel. The shade of it reminded Magnus of certain, electrifying blue eyes of his Angel. They were one of two most beautiful attributes of Alexander. Only followed by his pure heart.

Magnus often wondered, what made him give his heart away to Alec? Was it his eyes? His genuine smile? His lovely blush that appeared whenever Magnus called him any sweet pet name he could come up with? Secretly, Magnus knew, that Alec loved being called darling by him, even though he tried to hide it with a roll eye. He loved every single little thing of Alec’s. From his soft smile to his pure laughter and even the terrible fashion sense the boy had. He loved him truly and eternally.

Magnus looked up at the clear sky and whispered to himself.

“I love you, Alexander.”

“I love you too,” he heard the response before he felt a pair of coldish arms around his chest. Soon he was pulled into the bare chest of his boyfriend. Sighing softly, Magnus turned around and faced his Angel. “Good morning, Mags.”

“Morning, Angel.”

“It’s not nice to leave your man alone in a bed after such an eventful night.” Magnus dropped a kiss on Alec’s forehead, lingering it for a moment. “I missed you this morning.”

“You were hoping for morning sex, admit it, baby.” Alec just shrugged his arms, as the adorable rose color crept on his cheeks. “Are you ok?”

“It’s getting really tiring. You, asking me the same thing every day, Magnus.”

“I can’t help but worry. Can you blame me?” Magnus kissed the top of Alec’s head, scrunching when his short hair scratched his chin. Alec’s hair just recently started to grow back. Magnus couldn’t be happier, even though he kept having nightmares about that day when his heart stopped beating for a moment.

_ Magnus’s heart stopped as he saw tears running down Lightwoods’ faces. Coldness filled his whole body, freezing it from the inside. He couldn’t see anything through the blurriness before him. He kept calling, silently the name of his lover. _

_ “Alexander. Alexander.” _

_ Magnus dropped to his knees, as the realization hit him. _

_ It was over. _

_ Alec was dead. _

_ “NO!” A roar escaped from his mouth, followed by a cry. “NO! NO! NO!” _

_ Some familiar voices were heard above him, but he tried to shut them out. His Angel was gone and he didn’t even say goodbye. He felt empty like his heart was ripped away and crushed before him. _

_ He wanted to die and join Alec. _

_ “Magnus! Magnus!” Someone was calling out for him; some arms were squeezing his empty form. But Magnus couldn’t care less. His heart and soul were dead, the second his Angel passed away. _

_ “Alexander…” _

_ “He’s alive.” Robert kneeled in front of him and raised his chin to look him in the eye. “Magnus. Alec is alive. The bone marrow he had gotten from Max…it adapted well. Alec is ok.” _

_ “He’s…he’s…alive…” he barely managed to whisper, as fresh tears fell out of his eyes. Although, Magnus had no idea, how he was still able to cry. Robert nodded to this and helped Magnus up from the floor. _

_ “He is, honey.” Maryse came to stand beside him and drew him into her arms. I let myself being held, as Maryse’s words slowly were sinking into my mind. _

_ Alec was alive. My Angel was ok. _

_ “There you all are!” We heard another female’s voice. Maryse pulled me away from her and turned to the source of the voice. Doctor Anderson was looking at us with a wide smile, beckoning at us. “Alec is so eager to see you all. It’s a miracle, I managed to convince him to lay in his bed for a little more. We moved Alec to a regular room for the rest of his hospital treatment. We’ll give him a few more meds and if the results of the blood tests will be good, he should be out of here in a week or two.” She was explaining, as she led us to his old room. “Of course, we’ll have a nurse coming to your place for the rest of treatment in the home, but other than that, Alec can go back home. Finally.” _

_ When Lauren opened the door to the room, my heart stopped once again, yet, the reason was different. There, on the hospital bed, was lying Alexander, with a huge smile on his beautiful, angelic face. He was connected to a heart machine and an IV, but other than that, he looked well. His usual paleness was back and the slight blush decorated his cheeks. Maybe because of the warm temperature inside the room. _

_ Magnus couldn’t move, as his gold-green eyes crossed with Alec’s blue ones. He covered his mouth with a hand, to stop the ugly cry coming out of his mouth. _

_ “Hey, guys,” Alec said in a groggy voice, seeing as he wasn’t using it properly for weeks now. “I missed you all.” _

_ His parents and siblings were the first one to hug him, almost squeezing the life out of him. Alec was patting them on their shoulders, letting them kiss and cry for him. The next one was Ellie. She launched herself at Alec, pressing him hard to her chest. _

_ “God, I love you, Alec.” She said, wiping tears from her face. “I’m so happy it worked.” _

_ “I love you too, El.” When she stepped away from him, Alec looked at Magnus. The older boy was still frozen in his place, looking at him in a disbelief. Alec cooked his head to the right and whispered the name of his lover. “Magnus?” _

_ Hearing his own name, said by the voice he longed to hear for so long woke him up. Suddenly the world that had crumbled moments ago, raised from its ashes. Magnus’s heart started to beat frantically again, filling him with a life. He bit down on his lip and walked cautiously towards the bed, still being in a haze. _

_ As soon as Magnus stopped by Alec’s side, the blue-eyed grabbed him by his hands and pulled down onto the bed. He threw his arms around Bane and sighed softly. _

_ Feeling Alec’s cold arms around him, Magnus felt alive again. He felt Alec with every fiber of his body of his soul, as the boy crushed his lips over Magnus’s. Magnus’s heart almost ripped out of his chest, when Alec hummed into the kiss. _

_ “We’re still here, boys,” Robert commented with a smile, wiping the remain tears from his cheeks. They pulled away, however, Alec didn’t let Magnus off his arms. Instead, he leaned into his side, as Bane took his hand in his and squeezed it tightly. _

**_He couldn’t let go of Alec. Not now, not ever. He would love him, forever._ **

“And you zoned out on me, babe.” Alec’s voice got him out of his thoughts. Magnus looked at the blue-eyed young man, who was now sipping his coffee. “You’re going to be gray if you won’t stop worrying every second.”

“I’m sorry, but…”

“I know,” Alec sighed, putting his cup back on the small, glass table. “I love you so much, Magnus.”

“I love you too.” Alec took Magnus’s right hand in his and smiled widely. 

“Do we have to go back?”

“Well, my spring break is almost over and we need to change our documents.” Magnus reminded him, looking at the golden band on his right hand. “At least I need a new id, with my new name.”

“Ah yes, Magnus Bane-Lightwood, it does have a nice ring.” Magnus laughed at Alec’s words, throwing his arms around his newly wedded husband. They just got married two weeks ago, a day before a spring break in Magnus’s studies. A small, just a family and closest friends, ceremony in the back of Magnus’s home. In fact, if you’d ask them, how their wedding looked like, they wouldn’t be able to tell, both too hazed in the moment when they said a yes to each other, finally sealing their love for good. “I don’t want to go back yet. It’s so beautiful here.”

“Indeed, it is,” Magnus confirmed, leaning his body over Alec’s back. He placed his head on the top of Alec’s shoulder and circled his arms around his clothed torso. “I promised, that I’ll take you here one day. I’m a man of my words.”

“How could I not believe you? This is exactly why I love you, Magnus.”

“Because I brought you to the Paris?” Magnus joked lightly.

“No. Because you choose to give me your heart.” Alec turned in his arms and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him. However, they quickly pulled away. “As much as I’d love to continue, I need to call Izzy and Ellie, before they’ll have our heads for not talking to them through our honeymoon. I mean, don’t they know the meaning of a honeymoon? They’ve been calling us nonstop and Jace has been bombarding me with silly text messages. I’m just glad that our parents decided to not call, only wanted an occasional text regarding my state.”

“They worry, Alexander.” The younger huffed and walked inside to make a call. Indeed, their family and friends were too much involved in their free time. However, Magnus couldn’t blame them. They’ve been all worried sick about Alec.  But Magnus was glad for them in their life. He was glad they had founded their happiness just like he did.

His mother had married Michael a month after Alec got out of the hospital. She couldn’t imagine a wedding without the Lightwood. Both, Magnus and Alec, had walked her towards the altar, with Clary’s step-father, Luke, being the one who wedded them. As for Alec’s parents, Robert got a few bigger clients in his law firm and he decided to offer a job to Ragnor, seeing as he transferred back to New York. Harvard wasn’t his thing, after all. In fact, being away, made him realize, he’s truly in love with his best friend, Catarina. Soon, they started to date again, this time, for real, as Ragnor loved to state.

Alec’s siblings were about to finish high school and currently, they were choosing their life paths. Isabelle decided to be a professional pathologist, while Jace wanted to go to an army. Despite their parents’ protest, he was about to get to the army, when the summer begins. Max, was still in his preschool, being one of the best students in his class. He got that from Alec.

Ellie, on the other hand, decided to travel a while, with her new boyfriend, Will, before she’ll go to the college in the fall, with Alexander. They wanted to be social workers, despite Alec’s first dream to become a lawyer, like his father. Lately, he’s been helping in the hospital, as a volunteer in the children’s wing. He loves being around the children in there, wanting to help them as much as he can.

“Do you know, how beautiful you look now? All absorbed in thoughts? With this soft look in your perfect eyes?” suddenly, Alec was standing before him again with a loving gaze. “So beautiful, like a prince. Ah! Prince Charming.”

“If I’m the prince, are you my princess?” Alec gave him one of his pointed looks. “Oh, wait, no! You’re my handsome knight in a shining…well…blackish armor. I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane. You are my own fairytale, a happily ever after kind. You are my happiest ending, darling.”

“You’re such a sap, Mags.” Alec leaned his head over my heart. “I love you. And you’re right, we are a fairy tale and I never want this to end.”

**_And they lived happily ever after…_ **

**_They say that love is a beautiful tale, the only sense of life._ **

**_And theirs is like a true fairytale._ **

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? Did you like it?   
> This is the end that I had written for the original version of this story. However, I have a second epilogue too and I will update it in days ;) Hopefully you'll like the other end as well. I couldn't choose between, so I'll leave you choosing the ending for yourself. I'm happy with both.


	29. Epilogue 2

**Epilogue**

**„Life after you”**

Magnus was running late, terribly late. He was supposed to be back home an hour earlier, however, his students had kept him a bit longer today. To add more, his phone had died about three hours before and he had no way of contacting Lydia. He just hoped, the young woman won’t be too angry with him for his lateness.

He ran upstairs as fast as he could and literally burst into his apartment in Brooklyn, completely forgetting that they may sleep, seeing as it was close to half past nine pm.

“I’m so sorry, I’m late,” he said, dropping his bag and keys on the counter in the hallway before he moved to the living room. He looked around, trying to find Lydia, but he couldn’t spot the woman. “Lydia?”

“Hey,” the blonde, blue-eyed woman stepped out of the second bedroom in his home.

“I’m sorry, I’m late, Lydia. But Matt and Harry kept me a bit longer today. Honestly, these two…”

“They’re your best students, Magnus.” She finished for him with a huge smile. Lydia moved to take her brown coat off the hanger and put her high black heels. “I’m going and I’ll see you on Monday? You’re visiting your family over the weekend, right?”

“Yeah, it’s the sixth anniversary and I think we’ll stay over the weekend at theirs.” She offered him a small smile and patted his arm before she opened the door of the second bedroom. “Bye, sweetie. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Bye!” they heard a loud response.

Once Magnus closed the door behind Lydia, he went back to the second bedroom. He opened it wide and shook his head on the state of the room. Papers were lying across the floor, colorful pens discarded on the white desk by the window. Magnus sighed loudly.

“You were supposed to clean after playing, darling.” He heard giggles from underneath the peak of pink covers. “What am I supposed to do with you, huh? Oh, no…where’s my little Angel?” Magnus sat on the bed and began to tickle the peak of covers, receiving a pure laughter. “Ah, there you are!”

“Daddy, no!” Magnus peeled the pink covers with Disney Princesses and revealed the sight of his laughing daughter. He smiled genuinely at her. She was his biggest love, she was his heart. She finally stopped laughing and jumped into Magnus’s arms. “I missed you today, daddy.”

“I missed you too, Angel. But you had fun with Lydia, right?” She nodded to this eagerly. “That’s great, and tomorrow we’ll off to see grandma, grandpa, auntie Izzy, uncle Jace, uncle Max.”

“Yay!” She exclaimed, looking into Magnus’s eyes. “Grandma Aya and grandpa Mike too?”

“Of course! We’ll all go for a nice dinner to the Atelier and then we’ll visit Alexander.” Magnus winked at her putting her back to bed. He tucked her and placed a kiss on her forehead. “Now, sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Daddy, will you tell me a story?” Magnus moved to lean over the white headboard, while his daughter laid her head over his knees. Magnus ran his fingers through her black locks and hummed.

“What kind of a story, baby girl?”

“Some nice story about a princess and a prince.”

“How about I tell you a story about a prince, who met a wonderful knight in his life?” She nodded to that and hugged her father over his thighs. Magnus reached to the lights and turn it off, instead, he turned the soft yellow light of the night lamp on. Soon the laminating stars on the ceiling began to shine down on them.  “Ok, so let the story begin…

**_O_ ** _ nce upon a time, in a far, far land full of high towers, surrounded by the wild waters, lived a boy. He was the fairest of them all. Tall, lean, with his incredible gold-green cat-like eyes. He caught the attention of everyone in his kingdom, causing many heart breaks for young maidens. He knew he was desired by everyone, yet, he held his heart in a tight grip, waiting to give it away to his destined one, to his other half, his knight in shining armor who would show up to save him from his own fears. _

**_O_ ** _ ne day, the boy met another boy his age, tall as well, and equally handsome, with the most beautiful blue eyes. The young man could drown in the ocean of his destined eyes. The said boy defended him in front of villains, even though one of the villains was the friend of the knight. From that day, the boy had taken an interest in the other boy. His own knight in shining, yet black, armor. _

**_F_ ** _ inally, Destiny seemed to have mercy on the boy and let him explore the relationship with the knight. Although, at some point, the boy thought the other a wizard as well as he seemed to enchant him. He couldn’t stop thinking about the knight, he wanted him for himself. He wanted to be close to him. _

**_A_ ** _ nd one day, his dream came true. The boy learned what enchantment the knight had put over him. _

**_It was true love._ **

**_T_ ** _ he most beautiful thing the boy hoped to have one day. _

**_I_ ** _ t was finally here. _

**_B_ ** _ ut Fate didn’t let him enjoy it for a long time. The fate decided to bestow the knight with its horrible and dreadful name. Leukemia. However, the boy had given the knight his heart forever and couldn’t imagine leaving him alone to the fate. They had decided to fight together, through many bumps in their road. The boy loved his knight with his whole heart and soul till the very end… _

Magnus wiped the tears from his cheeks when he had gotten to the end of the story. At least the one part of the boy’s, now a man’s story. He smiled sadly, as the image of his blue-eyed Angel popped into his mind. The image of the last time he had seen him, seven years ago.

Magnus’s heart stopped as he saw tears running down Lightwoods’ faces. Coldness filled his whole body, freezing it from the inside. He couldn’t see anything through the blurriness before him. He kept calling, silently the name of his lover.

_ “Alexander. Alexander.” _

_ Magnus dropped to his knees, as the realization hit him. _

_ It was over. _

_ Alec was dead. _

_ “NO!” A roar escaped from his mouth, followed by a cry. “NO! NO! NO!” _

_ Some familiar voices were heard above him, but he tried to shut them out. His Angel was gone and he didn’t even say goodbye. He felt empty like his heart was ripped away and crushed before him. _

_ He wanted to die and join Alec. _

_ Magnus was numb, rocking back and forth, as tears were running down his cheeks. He didn’t feel arms around him, he muted the voices near his ear. He was dead inside, same as his beloved Angel. Before he knew, he got up from the floor and ran out of the hospital. However, before he could do anything more, he was grabbed by someone and pressed into a hard chest. Through his tears, he could recognize the familiar mop of a blonde hair. _

_ “Please… don’t …leave us…” Jace choked on his own words, as he tightened the grip on Magnus’s back. “Please…I...we…need you now.” _

_ Magnus let Jace walk him back to the hospital, where the Lightwoods and his mom were joined by doctor Anderson. She was talking to them, holding Maryse’s hands in hers, as the woman was trembling in Robert’s arms. _

_ “I’m so sorry.” She said, fighting off the tears built in her eyes. “We thought that everything will turn out alright, but as Alec’s system tried to rebuild itself with Max’s bone marrow, something went wrong. Max’s bone marrow didn’t adapt as well as we thought it will. We gave him immunosuppressants to stop the graft-versus-host-reaction, but his liver stopped working as well. At this point, we couldn’t even do a transplant of a liver, he wouldn’t survive it. His system was too much toxic from all the chemo. We couldn’t do much more. I’m so sorry for your loss.” _

_ “Can…can we see him?” Isabelle whispered, through her tears. Doctor Anderson nodded and led them into the direction of the hospital’s morgue. _

_ The room was cold, both from the atmosphere and the metal’s bed with people’s dead bodies. As soon as they entered it, they saw the lifeless body of Alexander, lying with covers pulled up to the middle of his chest. They could see the red rush over his chest and brown blotches on his arms. _

_ He looked so beautiful, like a real Angel, Magnus thought to himself. _

_ “I leave you alone for a while.” They heard doctor Anderson’s voice, but none of them paid any mind to her. _

_ “My baby…” Maryse wailed, taking Alec’s hand in hers. “My sweetheart.” _

_ Robert was holding her strongly as if he was afraid she’ll pass out. In fact, she was close to that. Same as Magnus, who was now held by his mother and her boyfriend. Jace was holding Izzy and Max in his arms. Ellie, on the other hand, was pressing herself into Izzy’s side. Magnus heard Jace explaining everything to their little brother, and soon, Max burst out into tears, calling out for Alec. _

_ Magnus wanted to do the same, yet, he couldn’t find his voice. _

_ He had no idea, how long they were inside, staring at Alec’s dead body, holding him, stroking his face. At some point, Magnus stopped crying, he felt numb, hollow…lifeless. His heart and soul died, he wanted his body to follow it as well. _

_ Magnus found some strength inside of him and walked towards Alec’s body after the rest of their family bid their goodbyes. He touched his right hand, brushing softly each of his fingers. Then he moved his hand to brush over his whole arm, his shoulder, his neck, the line of his jaw. He touched his cold lips, his nose, his closed eyelids, his brows, trying to memorize his features forever. _

_ Alec was beautiful, like an angel, glowing in the yellow light of the lamps. He looked like he’d be just sleeping. He was Magnus’s sleeping beauty, however, when kissed for the last time by Bane, he didn’t wake up. His fairytale gone bad, ending in the most painful way. _

_ Magnus didn’t remember the days after. During those days, they set up Alec’s funeral on the local cemetery. Many people from their school came by, but as asked by the family, they remained in the back and ceased the sympathy words. Lightwoods and Magnus decided that they don’t want to connotate Alec with such words. They wanted to remember him being happy, smiling. _

_ Alec’s siblings and their parents made their short speeches, filled with tears, sometimes screaming, when it came to Jace. Ellie did hers as well. Magnus too, though he decided to do it in a more private way. He looked down at Alec’s face and took him by his cold hand. _

_ “Loving you, was the best thing I’ve done in my life, Alexander. You were…no, you still are my heart and soul. I know that even though I won’t be able to see you anymore, I know you’re still with me. I will always have you in my heart, Alexander. I will love you forever, sweetheart. Rest in peace. I will see you in the afterlife, Angel. I love you.” _

_ The time after Alec’s funeral was a blur for Magnus. He was depressed for a few months, until Maryse shook him off it, by telling how Alec would hate if Magnus shut himself out. Magnus realized she was right, he needed to get a hang of his life and move on, but not forgetting Alec. He needed to cherish the memories they had created and lived his life. He needed to do it for his Angel. _

“So, the Prince didn’t have the happy ending with the knight?” his daughter asked, propping herself on Magnus’s chest, sadness coloring her beautiful blue eyes. “So, the prince was unhappy for the rest of his life?”

“No. But he had a great time with him.” Magnus explained. “And he wasn’t sad till the rest of his life. In the most unexpected time, he was granted with another Angel in his life.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” Magnus ran a hand through her locks again. “Two years after the knight was gone, the prince met in a hospital a little, beautiful girl with the most adorable smile and wonderful blue eyes. She was alone, but the moment her eyes crossed with his, they knew, they are meant to walk through their lives together. She brought him the happiness again.”

“What was the name of the girl, daddy?”

“Well, Lily.” Her eyes were surprised. “And once he had taken her with him, he gave her a new name. Lily Alexandra Bane.”

“You’re the prince, daddy?” Magnus nodded to that with a happy sigh. “And I’m your princess?”

“The one and only, forever, baby girl.” She leaned up and kissed him on his cheek heartedly. “You’re my heart.”

“And who was your knight, daddy?”

“Alexander.”

Thinking of the man didn’t bring any pain to him anymore. Magnus overcame the pain, turning it into his greatest strength. It gave him the power to fight for Lily, when he had met her in the hospital, two years after Alec’s death. Magnus was a volunteer then, helping in the children’s wing when they brought her. She was barely one and abused by her father, after losing a mother who died in a birth. She was so vulnerable, but her blue eyes still shone with warmth, which reminded Magnus of Alexander. Bane quickly became attached to her, maybe because they both were alone in this world. He took care of her while she was in the hospital and after she was released, Magnus asked Ellie, a new social worker to take her case.

A few months later, Magnus could properly adopt Lily and gave her a new name, close to his heart. When Lightwoods and Magnus’s parents met Lily, they were charmed by her adorableness. They quickly grew to love her and call her their own granddaughter and niece, even though Magnus had no chance to marry Alec.

Now, six years later, Magnus could tell he’s happy again. He began to date again, though he knew, he won’t have such a great love again like he had with Alec. Alec was his greatest love. But he’s willing to give a try to love again, maybe one day, he could give Lily another parent.

“Are you happy, daddy?” Lily asked, playing with his necklace. It was a silver opened medallion heart-shaped with pictures of Alexander and Lily. On the back of it was engraved always and forever in my heart.

“I am, sweet pea.” She was content with this answer. Lily yawned loudly and moved herself to lay properly on the bed. Magnus tucked her in once again and kissed her temple before he turned the lamp off and walked out of her room.

Magnus walked towards his own bedroom and looked at the picture of his nightstand. It was a picture from his and Alec’s date in the movies, from seven years ago. Just before Alec was back in the hospital. They were so happy, smiling at each other, with love sparkling in their eyes. He sat down on the bed and took the photo in his hands. He stroked the face of Alec and smiled.

“She reminds me so much of you, Alexander.” He said, chuckling. “She’s so curious and smart, adorable and selfless…you would love her too. I miss you, Angel. I love you.”

As Magnus thought about the story of his love, he decided that indeed, from the very beginning he had met Alexander, it became a fairy tale. Even though it ended too quickly, he was glad he met Alexander. He filled his heart with true love, the fairytale kind of true love. Despite the pain, he wouldn’t change it at all.

**They say that love is a beautiful tale, the only sense of life.**

**And theirs was like a true fairytale.**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did you like it?
> 
> So this is the end. I'm happy with both of epilogues, because it shows how such ilnesses can end. There's no happily ever after everytime, but it's important to find a strength to live again.
> 
> This isn't the last thing from me.
> 
> Look forward, because soon, I'm going to publish a new story for this fandom. It will be a collaboration with my dear friend Daime Guiral (she wrote a one shot and epilogue with me to the sequel of original MWAAF - look up in my stories on fanfiction https://www.fanfiction.net/~intoxic.) We hope you'll like our work and that you'll bear with us. It's going to be the first time for us doing a long term collab and in such new topic. So yeah, look forward ;)  
> Thank you for reading and commenting and leaving a kudos. 
> 
> Comment if you feel like to,
> 
> Intoxic

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, hello!
> 
> So, since my searchings for someone who'd like to draw scenes for MWAAF failed, I decided that I'll just start posting the new version of the story anyway. But I'm still looking for this person, so if you know someone or if you're interested in co-working with me, I'd be delightful.
> 
> Did you like the prologue?
> 
> For now, the first chapters will be improved, but not that very much changed. But further chapters will have new additions. Hopefully, you'll like this version as well.
> 
> Beta: Red Coral, my amazing friend, who'd helped me through many of my stories. Read her stories on her profile on fanfiction. net She's awesome.
> 
> Comment if you feel like to.
> 
> Lots of love,
> 
> Intoxic
> 
> Link to the original work: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10167767/1/Maybe-we-are-a-fairytale


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